by Marni Mann
He shifted into park and nodded, the warmest smile growing over his face. “I’m happy you like it.”
He gave my hand a final kiss before he released me, and then he climbed out of the car. I followed, meeting him by the trunk, where he grabbed our bags and carried them up the front steps. The key was already in his hand, and he had the door unlocked and was holding it open for me.
The inside of the home reminded me of the camps back in Maine that my friends’ parents owned, where everything was an outdated shade and trimmed in a doily. But what I loved about places like this was their coziness, how the scent of the wood fireplace and the dusty books on the shelves made me want to snuggle and listen to all the stories.
I’d barely made it through the kitchen when Oliver came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, turning me to face him.
“You’ve been working really hard …” His hands hung halfway between my ribs and hips, thumbs swiping whatever they could reach on my body. “I wanted to take you to a place where I could get uni off your mind.” He brushed his lips across mine. “My flat isn’t far enough away, but this one certainly is.”
I shook my head, emotion burning the back of my throat. “You’re always so incredibly thoughtful.”
Balancing school and this wonderful man hadn’t been easy, and I was constantly struggling, trying to make it all fit in every day. Oliver was getting much more of my time than school was, and my grades weren’t nearly as strong this semester as a result.
“Thank you,” I said so softly, feeling the warmth of his skin seep through his sweater. “You are really all I need …” I swallowed, breathing through it. “But this, this is really special.” My body tingled as I gazed up at him, something that still happened every time he touched me.
“My pleasure.” His eyes seemed to lighten as he stared at me, his tongue licking across the inside of his bottom lip. “I know it’s cold, but there’s a creek that’s a good twenty-minute walk from here, and I’d really like to show it to you.”
I circled my arms around him, clasping my hands behind his back. “I want to see everything with you.”
It was the truth even if it wasn’t possible, and that was more painful than I could process right now.
His fingers moved into my hair, holding the back of my head as he pulled me against him so not even air was separating us now. And that was how we stayed, locked together until he eventually backed away.
“Wait,” I said, and he stopped. “Will you hold me for just a little bit longer?”
“Of course.” His arms returned, his embrace even tighter, his lips now hovering over mine.
“I know, one day soon, we won’t be able to do this.” Each inhale hurt worse, making it so hard to speak. “And I …” My voice trailed off when he positioned me in a way where my face rested against his chest, his mouth pressing into the top of my head.
“I’m not going to let go.”
And he didn’t, even keeping our hands clasped when he took me out the door and into the woods. Since I’d hiked mountains my whole life, this wasn’t a hard trail to follow, and when we got to a section where we neared the water, we stopped on the bank and looked down.
I saw why Oliver had wanted to bring me here. It was the perfect combination of nature with the trees, fresh scent, and the sound the water made as it trickled over the rocks.
I was taking it all in, my eyes closing when I said, “I never want to leave.”
He was standing behind me now, his face in my neck, his arm wrapped across my chest. “I was hoping you’d love it here.”
I glanced over my shoulder, waiting for him to pull his face out so I could catch his eyes. “Are you going to tell me the story behind this place?”
He still hadn’t said whom it belonged to or why he had chosen it for the weekend.
“I used to spend every summer here as a kid.” He released his grip, and I faced him. “That’s my family’s cottage. Started with my grandparents, and now that they’ve passed, it’s my mum and dad’s.” I watched his chest rise as he filled his lungs with the biggest breath and gradually let it out, still saying nothing for several seconds. “I don’t get to come here as much as I used to—I’m just too busy now—but when I do … it always grounds me.”
My hands slid under his jacket, palms flat against his stomach so I could feel him even more. “I love it here, and I love that it’s your place.”
I would never forget this—the creek, the charming little cottage.
Oliver.
Oh God.
Then, he made the moment even more perfect when he said, “There’s a shop just up the road. You go take a bath and warm up while I grab us something to make for dinner.”
“Yes. Yes. And more yes.”
His smile was huge, and I could feel it on my lips. “I love you, Chloe.”
My heart clenched and shook inside my chest, causing waves to tingle through my body. “Oliver …” The emotion moved to my eyes, hands tightening around him. They were words that had been pulsing through me, and I could finally say them. “I love you too.”
When I tasted his lips, I knew getting on that plane would be the hardest thing I’d ever have to do.
Eighteen
My heart pounded into my throat as I gripped my laptop with both hands, reading the email that had just come through. It was from the human resources department at Back Bay Digital, one of the largest marketing agencies in Boston and the most coveted internship program at my school. The email said they’d made their final decision on next semester and they would like to offer one of the positions to me.
This was one of the many internships Professor Naples, the head of the marketing department—and my advisor for the last three years—had had me interview for before I left for England. All the programs in the city were so competitive, and I’d prepared myself to be turned down by all of them.
I never expected a dream position at a company that could employ me after I graduated.
I clicked the attachment to read the details of their offer, which gave more specific responsibilities I would have and their compensation package along with the dates I would be contracted to work.
My eyes fell across the month they had listed, and all the air left my body.
The position started in June and went through the end of the year with an opportunity to extend it. But that meant I’d have to be back in Boston two months before I was planning to leave.
And it also meant I wouldn’t be spending the summer with Oliver.
Normally, I would have forwarded the email to Professor Naples and waited for him to call so we could discuss the offer, and I would then phone Molly and my parents to celebrate the news.
But right now, I didn’t feel like doing any of that.
I shut my laptop, setting it on the desk behind my bed, and I dragged the blanket up to my neck, tucking myself into a ball. My heart was aching, and it only got worse when I pulled up the Calendar app on my phone and figured out when I’d have to fly back if I took the internship.
Twenty-seven days.
And then I would have to say good-bye to the man I loved.
I sat across from Oliver at the pub, the one the guys went to so often that they knew everyone. I was starting to as well since I spent almost every night at their house. And even though I had an exam in the morning and should have been home studying, when Oliver had asked if I wanted to go out, I’d shut my textbook and grabbed my jacket. I hadn’t read a single word of the chapter anyway. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything since the email came in earlier today. I was hoping after a few beers and some noise, my head would clear.
But I was two drinks deep and not any closer.
“You want to talk about it?” Oliver asked.
I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at my hands while they were circled around my beer. Slowly, I looked up, knowing my feelings were showing all over my face.
Before I could say anything, he reached into his pocket, to
ok out some pounds, handed them to Jake, and said, “Grab the three of us a round.”
“Happy to, mate,” Jake replied, and he left us alone.
That was when Oliver reached for my seat and slid my chair closer to his. “What’s going on, Chloe?”
I gripped the sweat-stained glass and said, “I got offered an internship today.” His eyes were already filled with excitement, his hand squeezing my thigh. “At a pretty incredible marketing agency in Boston.”
“Hell yeah! That’s my fucking girl.”
He leaned in for a kiss, and I tasted the beer on his mouth and smelled the leathery scent of his cologne. It was too much.
“Oliver …” I pulled my lips away, searching deep in my chest for some air. “It starts in four weeks.” The pain in my body began to get stronger. “I would have to leave the day after finals.”
He cupped my cheek, thumb brushing back and forth like always. For the briefest of seconds, I saw the pain in his eyes, I saw the hurt, and then it was gone, in its place a calm gentleness.
“This is what you’ve been working for, gorgeous.”
“But four weeks? That feels like nothing.”
“I know.” I heard the pain again in his voice, and it hit me—everywhere. “This isn’t what either of us wanted or what we planned for.” The light blue in his eyes was holding me in a way I wouldn’t ever forget. “But you’ve got to take this internship and kick its arse and make me fucking proud. These opportunities come around once in a lifetime, and you’re not going to let go of this one because of me. You hear me?”
I shook my head, staring at this wonderful man, the ache in my chest becoming unbearable.
Still not feeling close enough, I slid off the stool and fell into his arms, where they wrapped tightly around me. He was telling me to give this up two months sooner.
To give us up.
And he was so selfless when he had said that, but it was still hard to hear.
“I’m going to go to the loo,” he said, pulling back from our hug. “Then, Jake is going to get up on the table and have everyone in the bar sing our girl a congratulations.”
“What are we celebrating?” Jake asked, setting the three beers down, pushing two across the table toward us.
I laughed at the thought of Jake on a high-top and lifted the mug into my hands.
Oliver put his arm over my shoulders. “Chloe got a big internship in Boston, and she’s leaving us in a few weeks.”
“Is that right?” Jake asked, and I nodded. “I’d say that’s a reason to celebrate. Of course, we don’t want to see you go either.”
Oliver’s arm left my shoulders, and he kissed me on the cheek and said, “Be right back.”
Since I was still standing, I sat in the same seat as before and drank the rest of my beer before I could move on to the cold one Jake had just brought.
“When do you leave?”
I swallowed, and I knew it wasn’t the carbonation that was burning my throat. “Twenty-seven days. If I accept the position.”
“Jesus.” He rubbed his bare forearm. It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, Jake only wore T-shirts, his arms covered in colorful cartoon tattoos. “He’s going to miss you.” He adjusted his thick black-framed glasses. “We all are, but, man, is he going to hurt over you …”
It felt like my entire body was trembling, and I was doing everything I could not to let a single tear into my eyes, especially when I said, “You have no idea.”
“I remember the way he was when we were in Switzerland, texting you all the time, calling. It’s going to be hard when you’re so far away.” His hand went to my shoulder, patting the top of it. “You’re going to come back and visit us, won’t you?”
I didn’t answer for two reasons. I was too afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold off the tears and because another trip to London wasn’t in my future. I certainly couldn’t afford the ticket; I just didn’t have that kind of money. My parents had already bought me this set of flights, and they didn’t have the extra funds for another flight. Going back and forth to see him wasn’t an option.
Fortunately, Oliver returned, and I didn’t have to respond. Standing behind me, he wrapped his arms around my neck and said to Jake, “I think you have some singing to do.”
The boys laughed as Jake got on top of our table.
“Excuse me,” he shouted through the pub, using his hands as a megaphone. “I need everyone’s attention, please.”
Even the band in the corner quieted.
“Our friend Chloe fucking Kennedy”—he pointed at me, and the attention in the room shifted in my direction. Even the beer was unable to hold off my embarrassment—“will be flying home soon for an internship. There’s a lot of people in this pub who are going to miss her, so let’s give her a congratulations that she’ll be able to take all the way back to America.”
I felt the red move into my face while the entire bar began to sing to me.
At the end of the song, Jake held his beer in the air and shouted, “Chloe, have yourself one hell of a fucking time!”
I grabbed my glass off the table, and said, “Thank you,” to everyone in the bar and to Jake before I took a drink.
Oliver’s face went into my neck the second the mug left my lips. His hands tightened on my stomach, and he kissed my cheek. He was silent for a few moments, and then, “I bet you’re never going to forget us.”
“Oliver …” I whispered, the pain making it too hard to speak any louder. “That would be impossible.”
Nineteen
Once I signed the contract with Back Bay Digital, I knew my time with Oliver would go by fast, yet each day, we would grow closer. That was exactly what happened. I was learning so much about him, falling for every detail. But in the back of my mind was a countdown, a number that flashed before my eyes when I looked at him.
And it ticked away faster than I could breathe.
Especially once I started receiving emails from Professor Naples, discussing the class he was having me TA for next semester and the list of philanthropy he wanted me to participate in and the marketing events the school was putting on that I should attend.
I was back … and I hadn’t even left.
And my departure date continued to hang between Oliver and me, a topic we had avoided discussing since there wasn’t anything either of us could do to change what was going to happen. But I felt it every day, this ache growing in the pit of my stomach whenever I thought about leaving.
And on my last night in London, it felt like it had eaten a hole straight through me.
Prior to going to Oliver’s, I’d spent several hours with my roommate, helping her pack and load her things into a taxi, hugging her before she flew back to South Africa. Then, I’d spent the rest of the afternoon with Oliver and his roommates. That night, we all cooked dinner together, and I got a chance to spend some time with them before they went out for the evening.
Once we cleaned up, Oliver brought our wine into the living room, and we got comfortable on the couch. The doors to the garden were open, and I could smell spring in the breeze. He lifted my legs and placed them across his lap, cupping the bottom of my bare foot, rubbing over my arch.
“Whatever you do,” I groaned, “do not stop.”
I watched him laugh, and it was the most beautiful sight.
He’d asked me several times how I wanted to spend my last night in London, if I wanted to sleep at his family’s cottage—a place we’d now visited a bunch of times—go out with the guys, or if I wanted to go back on the London Eye to see the city one last time. I’d weighed each option, and only one felt right.
London had gotten plenty of my time.
Now, I just wanted my Oliver.
He circled around my heel and through the middle of it. “Are your parents going to be able to make it to the airport?”
“No, they’re coming to visit this weekend instead.” I shook my head, my arms wrapping over my stomach. “I can’t believe I’m going to be ho
me tomorrow.”
He ground his knuckles into the center of my foot, massaging up to my toes. “Molly’s going to be happy to have you back.”
He smiled, and it hit me right in the chest.
God, I would miss that grin. How it was cold on the edges and scorching in the middle. But mostly … it was just wild.
Like my Oliver.
I sighed and heard the hitch in my voice each time my throat tremored. “She’s been counting down the hours.”
I thought of the sign she had threatened to make and bring with her to Logan Airport tomorrow, and when all of this didn’t feel heavy, I would probably laugh.
As he moved to my other foot, I added, “Maybe you’ll get to meet her in August.”
A few weeks ago, the guys had begun talking about their annual trip, and I suggested they come to Boston.
His expression told me what I already feared.
“Ibiza won?”
When he nodded, I saw the disappointment on his face.
“I was hoping for it too, sweet girl.”
I had known it was a stretch, but having him come to America was still my only shot at seeing him.
And now, that was gone.
His expression continued to deepen, his grip tightening, more emotion spreading over his face until he said, “Come here.”
I didn’t hesitate. I maneuvered my body around to throw myself in his arms, and once I was there, I squeezed him with every bit of love I had in me.
And I hugged him for so long that when we were standing outside Heathrow the next morning, it felt like I’d never let him go.
We’d taken a taxi, and it was double-parked in front of the terminal while we were standing by the trunk, my two suitcases by our feet. Police officers were directing traffic, whistles loudly blown when drivers were parked for too long.
We were running out of time.
But Oliver’s arms didn’t release me; he held them at my sides like locks, keeping me pressed to his body. “Fuck, gorgeous,” he whispered in my ear.