by Marni Mann
It wasn’t any stronger than a breath.
But I felt it.
Just that single graze of fabric … and I wished my arm had never moved in the first place because the tremors were ricocheting through my body.
I pushed forward, and when my feet hit the sidewalk, I rushed straight to my hotel. And even though I never turned around to check, I felt his eyes on me until I was out of sight.
Me: Just got back to the hotel, about to eat. Call me when you can.
Lance: Looks like you fell asleep. Sweet dreams, baby.
Me: I know we just got off the phone, but I miss you, and I wanted to tell you again.
Lance: You know I’ll never get enough of hearing that, my beautiful wife.
Me: xoxo
Lance: Jesus, Chloe, that photo of you is stunning, baby.
Me: You’re making me blush.
Lance: I wish I could kiss across that collarbone …
Me: Hold that thought. I’m video-chatting you in 2 mins, and you can say it again while you’re looking at me.
Lance: My naughty girl.
Me: Six days.
Lance: I’m glad I’m not the only one counting.
Me: What’s the first thing you’re going to do?
Lance: Put my hands on you and not take them off.
Me: Love that and you.
“Do you know what time our flight is on Friday?” my coworker asked as we were walking through the hallway of the office. We’d just finished several presentations on the first stage of our new brand launch, and we were heading for lunch. “I swear, I don’t know if I’m coming or going lately, and we’re only on month one.”
“God, can I relate.” I laughed. “Our flight is at ten tomorrow morning, and we land in Boston at noon.”
“Are you planning on stopping by the Boston office at all while you’re home?”
“Hell no.” I smiled. “There’s nothing I can’t do from my house.”
She sighed. “Such a good perk about this job.”
We were just rounding the corner, approaching the conference room, when I peeked through the glass wall to see who was leading the large meeting inside. My stare slowly drifted to the head of the table where I saw Oliver standing, his thrown-together look not at all distracting from the smile and charisma I saw as he spoke.
As I moved past the window, I waited for his face to turn, for his eyes to find me. And right before I took my last step, it happened. His mouth continued to talk to the group, but our gazes connected, and a blast of warmth shot through my body. I held his stare for one, two, three seconds, and then I continued around the corner where we could no longer see each other.
But I felt him.
Even after I walked out of the building for lunch.
Me: One more sleep until I’m in your arms.
Lance: Get home to me safely.
“Hi,” I whispered the second Lance’s hand touched the back of my head.
His fingers spread so he could hold more of my hair, his other arm going over the top of my shoulders. “Baby, welcome home.”
Those words caused my throat to quiver, little waves passing over my tongue as tears threatened to fill my eyes.
Home.
Exactly where I wanted to be.
And it was as though he knew what I needed because he squeezed me tighter, eliminating all the space between us. “Damn it, I missed you.”
I felt it in his grip this raw urgency that was coming through his fingertips.
“I missed you more,” I breathed.
Neither of us pulled away from each other while we stood on the curb outside the terminal, Anthony parked a few feet away in Lance’s SUV.
And eventually, I heard, “Are you hungry?”
I swallowed, a heaviness moving through my stomach. “Take me anywhere as long as my hands and eyes don’t have to leave you.”
He laughed, and I hugged him tighter. “I know you didn’t eat the food they served on the plane, and the empty bag of Doritos I see in your purse doesn’t qualify as dinner. I’m getting you something to eat.”
When he separated our bodies, our eyes connected, and his hands went to my face.
It felt so right.
Him.
This.
Us.
I swallowed again, waiting for his lips, and I closed my eyes when I felt them. My arms strengthened their grip around his neck, and I took in his scent, feeling the power of his hands at the same time I smelled it.
And then, suddenly, he was gone, his hands slowly leaving my face. “Let’s get out of here.”
I nodded, taking his fingers as he helped me into the backseat.
“Mrs. Hamilton,” Anthony said once I got inside the SUV, “it’s so nice to have you back. You’ve been missed by everyone.”
“Thank you, Anthony.” I sat in the middle of the backseat, and once Lance climbed in, I looped my arm around his. “You all were terribly missed too.” I smiled at him in the rearview mirror.
“Where am I taking you?” Anthony asked.
Lance turned toward me, his eyes roaming my face before he said, “I have a feeling my wife is craving sushi. Let’s go to her favorite.”
Anthony chuckled. “No problem. I’ll take you there right now.”
At one point in our relationship, Lance would have turned to me and asked if he had guessed right. He didn’t need to do that anymore.
He knew.
And as Anthony pulled away from the arrival gate of Logan Airport, Lance’s lips pressed against my forehead, and he held them there while he hummed, “It’s so good to have you home.”
My eyes closed, my chest aching. “You have no idea.”
“One down, baby. Five to go.”
Each exhale shuddered through me, and I thought of all the things I was going to do with my husband over the next two weeks. The restaurants we were going to visit in Boston and the weekend trip we would hopefully take to Florida and the cuddling we were going to do in bed.
Then … I would return to Amsterdam.
And this would start all over again.
Forty
“Oh my God,” Molly squealed as her face came into view on my phone, “I miss you so much; I can’t handle it. Come home already.”
I stared at my best friend’s face and smiled. “Just one more week, babe, and I’m going to hug the shit out of you.” I leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed my glass of water. “By the way, I’m having the worst déjà vu right now.”
“Right?” She frowned, and as she adjusted the phone, I saw she was in her living room. “At least now, you’re only gone for two weeks at a time. I don’t think I could handle more.”
“Neither could I.”
The phone shifted again, and she appeared to be lying down. “Are things good? Loving work?”
“My team had our final presentation today, where we pitched the first stage of the brand relaunch.”
“And?”
I couldn’t sit still on the bed; I was still so excited about it. “We killed it.”
She was smiling as hard as me.
“It went better than all of us had hoped. The initial feedback has been super positive, but we won’t know for a few days.”
“So insanely proud of my girl right now.” She wiggled her shoulders, dancing. “You’re sacrificing a lot to be there, and you’re kicking ass.”
“Thank you.”
Her eyes narrowed, and a devious grin spread across her lips. “Any more run-ins with London?”
I laughed, shaking my head. She knew nothing beyond the first time I had seen him. “In passing,” I replied. “Nothing crazy.”
And that was all it had been when I saw him in the market and in the conference room.
Words, glances.
An increase of my heartbeat.
“I wonder what his story is now. For some reason, I’m dying to know.”
“I—” The sound of the room phone cut me off, and I had never been more thankful. “Hang on
a second, Molly.” I reached for the landline on the nightstand. “Hello?”
“Mrs. Hamilton, this is Luuk from the front desk. I have a delivery for you. Would it be all right if I brought it up to your room now?”
“Yes, of course. Thank you.” I hung up and turned back to Molly. “Hold on. I have a delivery, and I need to slip on a robe because I’m far too lazy to put on a bra.”
She laughed as I climbed off the bed and went into the bathroom, wrapping the terrycloth around me before I headed for the door.
A gentleman was arriving just as I opened it, and he said, “Hello, Mrs. Hamilton.”
He handed me a large paper bag, and I instantly smelled food inside.
Then, he added, “Have a good evening,” before he left.
I thanked him and set the bag on the table.
“What is it?” Molly asked, watching me as I tried to open the top with one hand.
“Something yummy-smelling. I’m just not sure what.”
Although I had a feeling it was from Lance. We’d spoken right before I called Molly, and I’d told him about our presentation and how I was going out later with my coworkers to celebrate.
After pulling apart several staples, I unfolded the paper and looked inside. There was a cold bottle of champagne, three different kinds of soups, and a loaf of French bread. In the far corner was a sleeve that I lifted into my hand, and my heart clenched when I saw what was inside.
Chocolate chip cookies.
And taped to the plastic window was a note.
Since I’m on the road this week and I can’t buy you dinner, accept this instead.
I heard you did a hell of a job today.
Congrats, sweet girl.
—Oliver xx
“Babe, what is it?” Molly asked. “And is it from Lance? You’re smiling so hard right now.”
A wave of emotion passed through me as I slowly glanced up to look at the screen, my best friend staring back, eagerly waiting for an answer.
I swallowed, hoping the emotion would follow and go down to my stomach and stay there, leaving my throat entirely.
But that didn’t happen.
It only came on stronger.
“It’s from … the management team.”
My response wasn’t entirely a lie.
But it certainly wasn’t what I should have told my best friend.
“Awww, aren’t they the sweetest?” she purred, and an ache shot right into my gut. “Listen, lover, May is going to start screaming any second for food, and chaos will erupt around here. Text me tomorrow.” She pouted her lips together and blew me a kiss.
With a smile still on my face, relief flooding through me, I caught it and blew one right back before disconnecting the call. Once I was sure she was off my screen, I immediately dropped the phone on the table and looked inside the bag again.
Oh God.
This reminded me of the night I had gone to his house in London, and he’d had some of my favorites delivered. Six years had passed, and he hadn’t forgotten the champagne or cookies.
Warmth was moving through my chest as I began to put the food in the fridge, leaving Oliver’s note on the counter before I brought my phone back to bed. And as I got nestled under the covers, I knew I had to thank him. It was the right thing to do.
I went into the company’s app, searching for Oliver’s profile, which would have his number listed. Once I had it entered into a text, I started typing, my fingers feeling unbelievably numb.
Me: It’s Chloe. I just got your delivery. That was so nice and thoughtful of you. Thank you.
Oliver: I hope you’re celebrating your arse off tonight?
Me: Meeting the team for some drinks soon—nothing crazy. We all have to be up very early tomorrow.
My phone began to ring, Oliver’s number now on the screen, and my heart started to pound so hard that I couldn’t swallow.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin and held the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Much better, I’d rather hear your voice.”
I took a breath, the air barely making it past my tongue. “Hi.”
“Good evening, gorgeous. Where are you guys going tonight?”
No one had called me that in a very long time, especially not in that accent. I pushed that thought out of my head and said, “Someone mentioned heading to De Pijp,” referring to one of the more popular areas in Amsterdam.
“That’s a good choice.”
“You’ve been?”
“Chloe, I’ve been everywhere.”
After he laughed, there was silence, and breathing was becoming even more difficult.
“Oliver …” I hesitated, the curiosity getting the best of me. “Fill me in on your life. I know … nothing anymore.”
“Life,” he sighed. He took a second before he continued, “Well, after you left England, me and my mates stayed in that house for another couple years, and then we all either moved in with girls or got our own places.” He paused, but I didn’t inquire; I didn’t think it was my business. “Now, Jake and I are the only single ones, and the other two bastards are married with kids.” He took a breath, and I heard something change. “My mum got sick about two and a half years ago and passed away within a few months. Not even a week later, one of my brothers-in-law got diagnosed with MS.” He exhaled, and I felt it—every bit of pain that was in him. “I needed to get away. This job opened up, and I took it.”
Knowing how close he was to his family, I imagined these had to have been dark and extremely difficult times.
“I’m broken to hear about your mom and brother-in-law,” I said softly.
“Me too.”
“Didn’t you tell me once that your parents got married at sixteen? How’s he holding up? He must be beside himself.”
“I can’t believe you remember that.” He let that sink in and added, “He’s doing okay. My sisters have been on him to date, but he won’t. That man will be loyal to the grave.”
I put my hand on my chest, massaging across it. “You said you’re single, but I’m assuming there were plenty of girls over the years. Maybe you’ve got some kids by now?”
“There have been relationships but no kids as a result—thank God. And no one who has made me want to stick around for too long … like you.”
When he paused, a sweat broke out over my entire body.
“Tell me what’s been going on in Chloe Kennedy’s life … or it’s Hamilton now, yeah?”
“Hamilton, yes.” I sat up higher, tucking my knees to my chest. I didn’t know why, but saying that name to Oliver felt so wrong. I waited for that feeling to clear before I said, “After I returned to Boston, I finished school and stayed with the same company I’d interned for until I took the job at International Bookings. I sorta met my husband through Molly. Anyway, we got married, and we don’t have kids yet.”
“Have you been back to London?”
I took a few seconds before I answered, “No. I’ve traveled a lot over the years, but I never made my way back.”
“A few years ago, me and my mates went to America. Spent some time in New York and LA.”
I could picture them in both of those places. I’d stopped following Oliver on social media long before that, so I never would have seen any of those pictures. “New York is so close to me.”
“I thought about looking you up. Would you have wanted to be found, sweet girl?”
I sucked in as much air as my lungs would hold and opened my mouth. “Oliver …”
He was silent for a few seconds before he said, “De Pijp starts to get busy around this time. If you want a good table at a decent place, you guys should go there now.”
I had nothing.
No words.
No voice.
I groaned just so he would know I had heard him.
“Have fun tonight, Chloe.”
He hung up, and I was staring at a screen that had a picture of Lance and me on it, skiing on top of Sunday River in Maine.
&nbs
p; My throat stung as I clicked on his number, staring at it, mentally reciting each digit over and over. I typed London under the name, his information now saved in my phone.
Forty-One
“Oh my God.” I quivered as Lance’s lips pressed against the base of my neck, his hands gradually moving up my chest.
The slickness of our wet skin caused his palms to slide so easily up my body until he reached my face.
“You feel so good,” I groaned.
With my back pressed against the side of our pool, my arms spread wide over the brick pavers, he treaded water in front of me, his tongue licking up to my earlobe. He sucked it into his mouth before moving across my face, his lips eventually hovering above mine.
“I’ve missed the way Florida tastes on you, baby.”
He was only touching my cheeks, but I felt him through my whole body, my limbs humming for his attention, thighs clenched, desperate to feel the pressure that I knew he could give.
“Kiss me.”
Even though he’d had me twice yesterday after I flew in straight from Amsterdam, Lance wasn’t gentle when he took my mouth, grasping my face as though it had been weeks since he tasted me.
“Mmm,” he said. “I need more.”
“I’m yours.”
Because there were so many boaters, I always wore a bathing suit in our pool during the day, like the one that covered me now. But Lance’s hand was reaching behind my back, and with one sweep, he had the bow of my bikini untied and the small triangles pulled over my head. The bottoms were ripped off just as fast, both pieces of my suit now on the deck behind me.
Once his hand returned to the water, he growled, “Get over here,” and wrapped my legs around his waist, keeping me hidden against his chest. Lance held me steady while he moved his shorts down and then positioned me at his tip.
Anticipating him, I held the softness of his cheeks with my fingers, and I pressed my mouth to his. As I felt his tongue, I arched my hips, rubbing myself back and forth over his head, teasing us so differently. And with each shift, I exhaled against his mouth, waiting for him to give me more.