After dinner Betsey moped around the house, sighing and sniffing and not saying a word, until Desmond and Sherena couldn’t stand it any more.
“Betsey, what did you and May have an argument about?” asked Sherena.
“Nothing much,” Betsey replied.
“Go on. You can tell us. Why did you and May have a bust up?” Desmond asked.
“I’m not telling you,” sniffed Betsey.
“Come on, Betsey. We want to help,” said Sherena.
“Yeah! I miss having you bouncing around the house and chatting so much I can’t hear myself think,” said Desmond.
“So why did you and May fall out?” said Gran’ma Liz.
“It doesn’t matter,” sighed Betsey. And off she walked.
At last Mum came home, but Betsey wouldn’t even tell her what was wrong. She just wandered around the house, her face as long as a tree trunk, saying, “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.”
“Mum, do something,” Sherena whispered, when Betsey couldn’t hear.
“She’d driving us nuts!” said Desmond. “I thought Betsey was bad enough when she made a lot of noise, but she’s even worse when she’s quiet!”
“All right, then,” said Mum. “Let me phone up May’s mum. Maybe May told her what’s going on.”
So Mum phoned May’s house and was on the phone for quite a while. When at last she put the phone down, Mum had a deep frown on her face.
“Well? What’s going on?” asked Gran’ma Liz.
“May won’t tell her mum what they quarrelled about either,” said Mum. “I think it’s time for me to take the matter into my own hands.”
“What d’you mean, Mum?” asked Desmond.
“You’ll see.” That’s all Mum would say.
The next day was a Saturday. A beautiful, sunny Saturday with not a cloud in the sky. Not that Betsey noticed. She moped around the house, quieter than a mouse.
“Betsey, do you want to ride my bike?” Sherena asked.
“No, thank you,” said Betsey, her head bent.
Sherena stared at her in amazement. Betsey had never before said no to riding Sherena’s bike. Usually Betsey pouted and pestered and badgered and bothered Sherena for a ride, until Sherena usually gave in, just to get some peace.
Betsey wandered out into the back yard.
“Betsey, let’s make a bow and some arrows. We could have an archery contest,” said Desmond.
“No, thank you,” Betsey sighed.
Desmond stared at her in disbelief. Betsey had been asking him to show her how to make a bow and arrow from tree branches for the last month. And now, he’d offered to show her and she’d turned him down flat. Desmond watched as Betsey wandered back into the house.
Later that afternoon, Sherena whispered to Desmond, “Is Betsey back to normal yet?”
“No. And I offered to make a bow and arrow with her,” said Desmond.
“I offered her a ride on my bike and she said no,” said Sherena.
“This is serious,” said Desmond.
And off they went to find Mum.
“Mum, we’re worried about Betsey,” said Sherena.
Just at that moment, the front door opened.
“We’re here!” called out May’s mum.
Mum, Sherena and Desmond went out into the living-room. May and her mum were standing there. May and Betsey stood facing each other but neither of them said a word.
“Betsey, say hello to May then,” said Mum.
Betsey didn’t say a word.
“May, say hello to your friend Betsey,” said May’s mum.
May turned her head away.
“It was the same thing last night,” said May’s mum. “May moped around the house and she hardly touched her dinner, but she wouldn’t tell me what she and Betsey had argued about.”
“All right then,” Betsey’s mum said firmly. “Betsey, sit here. May, you sit down next to her.”
Betsey sat down on the sofa and May sat down next to her, although they were careful not to touch each other.
“Right then, you two,” said Mum. “You’re going to have an insult contest.”
“An insult contest?” said Betsey, surprised.
“What’s that?” asked May.
“Both of you will take it in turns to insult each other. The rest of us are going to sit opposite you and watch and listen. At the end of it we’ll judge which one of you has come up with the best insult.”
“But . . .”
“Oh, but . . .”
“No buts,” said Mum, interrupting both May and Betsey. “Who wants to go first?”
May and Betsey frowned at each other.
“OK, then,” said Mum. “As you’re the guest, May, you can go first. Think of an insult for Betsey.”
May looked at Betsey, before looking down at her hands in her lap. She muttered something under her breath.
“We didn’t quite catch that, May” said Mum. “Please say it again.”
“I said that Betsey is a cabbage head,” said May, very loudly this time.
“A cabbage head? Well, your head is shaped just like a dog biscuit and your ears are tiny like raisins!” said Betsey, annoyed.
“So my head’s like a dog biscuit, is it? Well, you’re a . . . a . . . slimy snake . . .” began May.
“Ah! Can’t allow that one,” Mum interrupted. “Snakes aren’t slimy. Their skin is quite dry.”
Mum turned to May’s mum and Sherena and Desmond. “Do you all agree?” she asked.
They all nodded.
“May, you’ll have to come up with another insult,” said Mum.
“Betsey is a toad face . . .” said May.
“You’re a smelly sock . . .” said Betsey.
“You’re a stinky sock . . .”
“You’re more stinky than me . . .”
“No I’m not . . .”
“Yes, you are . . .”
“You’re a tissue that someone’s blown their nose into lots and lots of times . . .” said May.
Something very strange was happening. May’s lips quivered and Betsey’s lips twitched with each new insult that they flung at each other.
“You’re the inside of Desmond’s sweaty, smelly sports bag when he’s been playing cricket,” said Betsey.
“Well, you’re a . . . a . . .” May began.
“And you’re a . . . you’re a . . .” Betsey started.
But neither of them finished their insults. They both began to giggle, then to chuckle, then to roar with laughter. Which was just as well, because Betsey’s mum and May’s mum and Sherena and Desmond were all laughing so hard that they wouldn’t have heard the next lot of insults anyway.
“I’m sorry, Betsey.” May smiled.
“I’m sorry too.” Betsey smiled back.
“So are you two friends again?” asked Mum.
Betsey and May nodded their heads.
“Glad to hear it,” said May’s mum. “What did you argue about in the first place?”
Betsey and May looked at each other, surprised.
“I can’t remember,” said Betsey.
“Neither can I!” said May.
“Never mind,” said Betsey. “Let’s go and play on the beach.”
“You bet!” said May.
Betsey and May bounced off the sofa and ran for the front door.
“Before you disappear, Betsey,” said Desmond, calling after his sister, “I just want to say one thing.”
“What’s that?” asked Betsey.
“The inside of my sports bag is not sweaty and smelly!” said Desmond.
“Desmond, go and stick your nose in it and then say that,” said Mum. “Betsey described your sports bag perfectly!”
Betsey and the Monster Hamburger
“When we get there, I’m going to have a chicken burger,” said Desmond.
“I’m going to have a veggie burger,” said Sherena.
“I’m going to have a hamburger,” said Betsey. “A big hambur
ger. The BIGGEST hamburger they’ve got. A MONSTER hamburger!”
The whole family was going to the local burger bar. For once, neither Mum nor Gran’ma Liz had felt like cooking, so they were all going to eat out. It was a lovely evening. The air was warm and a gentle breeze was blowing.
“I’m going to have a strawberry milkshake,” said Sherena.
“I think I’ll have a vanilla one,” said Desmond.
“I’m going to have two chocolate milkshakes,” said Betsey, skipping down the road.
“Betsey, don’t be such a pig,” said Desmond.
“You’ll never finish two milkshakes. It takes me ages just to finish one and my stomach is a lot bigger than yours,” said Sherena.
“I’m going to have two – and you can’t stop me,” said Betsey.
“Betsey Biggalow, you will have one milkshake and like it,” Mum called out.
“But Mum, I’m really hungry,” said Betsey.
“One, Betsey,” said Mum firmly. “You’ll have one milkshake or none at all.”
“Botheration!” Betsey muttered under her breath. “I bet if it was Sherena or Desmond, they could have two if they wanted.”
“Pardon, Betsey?” said Gran’ma Liz.
“Nothing, Gran’ma,” Betsey replied.
Once they reached the burger bar, Mum asked each of them what they wanted. When it was Betsey’s turn, Betsey said, “I want a MONSTER hamburger and two chocolate milkshakes and a large portion of French fries.”
“Betsey, you’ll have a small portion of French fries and one chocolate milkshake,” said Mum.
“But I’m starving.”
“Betsey, your trouble is your eyes are bigger than your stomach. I’m not going to buy all that food for you to leave most of it,” said Mum.
“Can’t I at least have the MONSTER hamburger?” sniffed Betsey.
“You’ll never finish it,” said Mum.
“I will. I promise,” said Betsey. “Please.”
“No, Betsey, you can’t . . .” Mum began.
“Please, Mum. I will eat it. I’m starving hungry,” said Betsey.
Mum frowned down at Betsey.
“All right then, Betsey,” Mum said at last. “I’ll buy you a MONSTER hamburger and you’d better eat it. I don’t want to see any left.”
“You won’t.” Betsey beamed.
“Hhmm!” was all Gran’ma Liz said.
Desmond and Mum went up to the counter to order whilst Gran’ma Liz, Sherena and Betsey found a table. It didn’t take long for Mum and Desmond to join them, each carrying a tray filled with food.
Betsey licked her lips. Her very first MONSTER hamburger! She was going to enjoy this!
Mum put Betsey’s MONSTER hamburger in front of her.
“There you are, Betsey,” said Mum.
“Thanks, Mum.” Betsey grinned.
“Eating that will soon wipe the grin off your face, Elizabeth Ruby Biggalow,” said Gran’ma Liz.
“Botheration!” said Betsey. “Gran’ma, I will finish this hamburger. Just watch.”
“I intend to,” said Gran’ma Liz.
And with that they all started to eat.
Betsey picked up her hamburger with both hands. She looked at it from above, she looked at it from below, she checked each side of it. It was HUGE! In fact it was so big, she hardly knew where to begin.
“Anything wrong, Betsey?” asked Mum.
“No, Mum,” Betsey replied.
Then she opened her eyes W-I-D-E and opened her mouth W-I-D-E-R and bit into her hamburger. Tomato ketchup squirted out one side of the hamburger and hit Desmond – PLOOPPP! – on the nose. A dollop of mustard flew out of the other side of the hamburger and hit Sherena – SPLATTT! – on the forehead.
“Betsey, look what you’ve done. I look like I’ve got a nose bleed,” said Desmond, annoyed.
“Betsey, watch what you’re doing,” said Sherena, wiping the mustard off her face.
“Well done, Betsey,” laughed Mum. “You managed to get two people with just one bite.”
Betsey chewed and chewed away at the piece of hamburger she had managed to bite off. Then she had some French fries and washed it all down with some chocolate milkshake. It was all double delicious! Betsey took another bite and another, then another.
The only trouble was, she was beginning to feel full and she hadn’t even eaten half of the burger yet. Betsey chewed more and more slowly, as she became more and more full.
“What’s the matter, Betsey? Is that hamburger too much for you?” asked Gran’ma Liz.
“Oh, no, Gran’ma,” Betsey replied quickly. “I’m just eating it slowly so that I can remember what every mouthful tastes like.”
Gran’ma Liz and Mum exchanged a look.
“Hhmm!” was all Gran’ma said.
What am I going to do? thought Betsey as she chewed on yet another mouthful. She was stuffed! If she had just one more bite, she would pop like a balloon. But if she stopped now, everyone would say, ‘We told you so!’
Then Betsey had an idea. She arranged the paper napkin on her lap to cover her skirt. She broke off a bit of her burger. Then she pretended to put the piece of burger into her mouth but she didn’t really . . . Whilst she was pretending to chew, Betsey waited until no one was looking and dropped the little bit of burger from her hand into her napkin. As soon as the coast was clear, Betsey did the same thing again. She broke off a piece and pretended to eat it, but instead dropped it into her napkin. Ten pieces later, there was no more hamburger left in her hands – but lots of pieces of hamburger sat on the napkin in her lap. Betsey folded up the napkin until none of the hamburger could be seen.
Betsey picked up her chocolate milkshake and took a long drink. Pretending to eat hamburger was very thirsty work!
“Well done, Betsey!” Mum said, surprised. “I must admit, I didn’t think you could do it.”
“I told you I was hungry,” said Betsey.
“Your appetite has doubled overnight – and so has your stomach,” said Gran’ma Liz.
“OK everyone, pass over your napkins and empty wrappers and cups and I’ll put them all on this tray,” said Mum.
Oh no! thought Betsey. She couldn’t hand over her napkin to Mum. Her mum would feel the napkin and immediately guess what was in it. That’s when Betsey had another idea.
She deliberately dropped her knife on the floor.
“I’ll just pick that up,” said Betsey, and she scooted under the table. Quick as a jack-rabbit, Betsey opened up Sherena’s handbag and put in the napkin filled with all the pieces of hamburger. Then she got the knife and sat up again, putting the knife on one of the trays.
“Come on then, everyone. Let’s go home,” said Mum. And they all stood up.
On the way home Sherena said, “Well done, Betsey. I didn’t think you’d finish that hamburger. I’ve never been able to finish one of those in my life.”
Betsey said nothing. What could she say? And there was just one thing on her mind. How was she going to get the napkin filled with hamburger out of Sherena’s bag without anyone finding out?
Botheration! thought Betsey. Double and triple botheration!
“Sherena, do you want me to carry your handbag?” Betsey asked hopefully.
“What on earth for?” asked Sherena.
“No reason.”
“No, thank you,” said Sherena.
Just at that moment, Betsey felt the back of her neck go all tingly and hot. She turned around and there was Gran’ma Liz standing right behind her. And Gran’ma Liz had that look in her eyes. The look that said, “Betsey, you’re up to something. I don’t know what it is, but we both know I’m going to find out!”
And it didn’t take her long to find out either! Betsey followed Sherena into the house, hoping for a chance to take her napkin out of Sherena’s handbag. But no sooner had they taken just a couple of steps into the house than Prince, the Alsatian dog, came bounding up to Sherena and started sniffing at her handbag.
&nb
sp; “Prince, what are you doing?” Sherena frowned.
Prince snatched the handbag and raced off around the living-room with it. Sherena chased after him, followed by Betsey and Desmond.
“What’s the matter with that dog?”
“I think I know,” said Gran’ma Liz. “Prince, sit! Sit!”
Immediately Prince did as he was told.
“Sherena, bring me your handbag,” said Gran’ma Liz.
Sherena handed over her bag to Gran’ma.
“Now then, Betsey,” said Gran’ma Liz. “Is there anything you want to say before I open this handbag?”
“Just that I’m sorry and I won’t do it again,” Betsey sniffed.
“Hhmm!” said Gran’ma Liz. And she opened the handbag.
“What’s going on?” asked Sherena, puzzled.
Gran’ma Liz looked at Betsey. Betsey looked up at Gran’ma Liz. Gran’ma Liz took the napkin out of Sherena’s handbag and put it in her cardigan pocket.
“Nothing’s going on,” said Gran’ma Liz at last. “Isn’t that right, Betsey?”
“That’s right, Gran’ma,” said Betsey, in a tiny voice.
Betsey couldn’t believe it. Gran’ma Liz wasn’t going to tell anyone what she’d done!
“Betsey, the next time we go to the burger bar, what are you going to have?” asked Gran’ma Liz.
“One milkshake and a small portion of fries,” Betsey replied.
“No MONSTER hamburger?” asked Sherena.
“I don’t care if I never see another hamburger again as long as I live,” said Betsey.
And she meant it!
Hurricane Facts
A hurricane is a huge storm which forms into a spiral of strong winds and heavy rain.
Hurricanes always form over the warm oceans around the middle of the Earth because they take their energy from warm air that’s full of moisture – think of steam rising from a warm bath. The warm wet air rises and forms into thick storm clouds which spin in the winds that move around the equator – the imaginary line which divides the Earth into two halves around its middle.
As the storm spins, an area of calm forms in the middle – this is called the eye. In the northern half of the Earth, called the Northern Hemisphere, hurricanes spin anti-clockwise around the eye, while in the Southern Hemisphere they spin clockwise.
Hurricane Betsey Page 2