My heart fluttered in my chest as I once again found myself wondering how the hell every single prince had managed to inspire such intense emotional responses within minutes of meeting each of them. What was it about them that drew me to them like a moth to a flame?
Whatever it was…it was absolutely lethal.
Chapter Sixteen
Adrien
When I had told Ama that I could tell she had something special that needed to be shared with the world, I truly meant it. She was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise polluted environment full of venomous people. Every political event I had been forced to attend in my life had felt like nails on a chalkboard, and that feeling only got more agitating as I grew older and became more aware of my surroundings.
Every time I glanced into Ama’s eyes, it was like being transported to another world. A world in which integrity, loyalty, and happiness were the foundations. There was so much strength in her, it left me speechless—not that I was much of a talker to begin with.
The only people I truly spoke with and let in were my parents and my little sister. Well, I guess I had let Damien in some, as he was probably the only friend I had. But even then, I kept a wall between us out of my natural instinct to stick to the shadows alone.
However, meeting and speaking with Ama had made me realize one glaringly obvious hole in my life. I lacked true companionship and was fearful of it. It was like the well within me that wanted love and affection had dried up, but damn if I wasn't thirsty for her to fill it.
I wanted to have those needs within me satisfied by her until I was overflowing with so much gratitude and happiness that it was impossible for me to deny or hide.
Why did she inspire such a change in my attitude and such an intense longing for these feelings that I had buried so deeply? I felt like I was having a fucking spiritual awakening.
Blowing out a deep breath, I gazed at the sky that was hazy with wispy clouds amidst shades of pink and orange as the sun began its descent for the day. Just because we were in Hell didn't mean we didn't have the typical day and night cycle like the topside world. It was rumored that Heaven, Hell, and the human world were actually all on the same time schedule in different dimensions that lay on top of one another, never crossing unless you had the power—like the Reaper’s who collected souls from the human realm.
I was curious about the workings of other worlds and possible dimensions, and I wished I could approach the House of Fallen to confirm whether Heaven had been on the same time as ours in Hell. They were a broody and prideful group, though, and they weren't keen on relations of any kind with other species—not even platonic friendships.
Also, it might be a touchy subject to bring up the topic of them falling from Heaven and being disgraced.
A tapping on my shoulder brought me back to the present, and Ama’s sweet voice inquired, "Where did you go? It's like you were in a whole other world for a moment."
I couldn't help but chuckle at how close she had come to the train of my thoughts. "I was actually contemplating the existence of different dimensions and how the inner workings of that concept revolve around one another."
This was exactly why I didn’t date, for the record. I nearly face palmed, realizing that I had just told this stunning woman that I’d zoned out for a moment, despite her presence…to think about interdimensional realm travel and time.
Expecting her to find that odd, I prepared myself for her to brush it off, move on to the next topic, and never want to converse with me again. I wouldn’t have blamed her. I had never had many friends for this exact reason. Many wanted to have surface level conversations, while I wanted to have deep, intellectual conversations that forced people to expand concepts of life as we knew it. I didn’t have the best social skills because I spent most of my time with my family or buried in the library back at our house, but I would like to think that I was somewhat easy to talk to. It was more the topics that I chose that were the issue. I didn’t share the same interests as most.
“You mean Earth?” She frowned softly, “Or Heaven?”
I nodded, “Both, I suppose...and how the three revolve around each other. What the other two are like compared to Hell. I envy people who have gotten to travel out of this realm. I’m jealous of those who are on the journey to finding their…” I paused, not really having the right word.
“Purpose?” Ama whispered softly. “What’s our purpose in life?”
There was longing in her tone as she rested her forearms on the balcony and stared at the sunset. Her skin practically glowed with the colors reflecting off her, and her pink-red highlights truly shone. She was mesmerizing.
My gaze was glued to her beautiful face as I answered her. I wasn’t positive whether she was really looking for an answer, but I had to give this woman something instead of just staring at her. Because I knew I was incapable of looking away.
“Maybe our purpose is to figure out the answer to that exact question. To figure out where we fit into the systems in place and how we will alter the world we live in. How our decisions affect destiny's purpose for us. I think…I think that is the purpose of life.”
A small nod came from her as she nibbled on her lower lip, almost as if she was truly chewing on my answer in her mind. I was both surprised and not, that she was taking our conversation so seriously. I was almost damn positive that this woman had been handcrafted by the devil for me. I could feel it resonating in my soul that there was a connection between us that was both comforting and electric.
It would have been completely reasonable for her to be afraid when I had whisked her away with my shadows to shield her from Celorn’s temper. After all, I’d all but kidnapped the woman. Instead, she’d melted against me and, instead of trying to leave my company, we’d fallen into one of the most meaningful conversations I’d ever had. Of course, I’d talked about the purpose of life with my parents before, but this was different. This felt unique to us. To our destiny. To our future. I felt like this woman was imprinted on my soul—like we’d known one another our entire lives.
There was no other explanation. She was mine.
As if hearing my thoughts, she peeked at me out of the corner of her eye and immediately tried to hide her smile, her cheeks tinted a shade of pink.
Curious. What was she thinking about? What thoughts could turn her cheeks pink, and what else could I do to turn the rest of her body the same delicate shade that had me wanting to kiss and lick every part of her.
It was the first time I’d ever found myself wanting to do that. I wasn’t one to do casual flings, and I’d certainly never had a relationship. No one had ever drawn my attention enough to warrant me not being focused on my family, my house, and my studies.
Clearing her throat, she switched topics from whatever had been on her mind. "So, do you think they'll be upset at our departure? Introductions weren't over."
"Trust me, I think the introductions were absolutely over. Everyone else knew each other already, and they most definitely know who you are now," I joked, loving that she had been so openly herself, despite the fact that who she was, is exactly why she dealt with so much hate.
A hybrid.
She scoffed at my statement. "Yeah, I suppose they do." A flash of indecision crossed her face. "Do you think I made the wrong decision being so bold in there?"
It did something to me to have a woman as confident and strong-willed as Ama ask for my opinion of her actions. In my eyes, I didn’t think the woman could do anything wrong, but it still felt amazing that she asked. I was damn near positive that what I was feeling was completely unnatural, but it was an immovable force. Both unimaginable and unstoppable.
Reaching out, I put a finger under her chin and turned her face toward me. Her mouth parted as I did, and my thumb crept up to run across her plush lower lip as I answered her. "I don't think it's possible to make a wrong decision when you are staying true to you, Ama. Some simply fear that you don't fear them. It goes against everything the older generation has strived
to build ever since the devil went to sleep."
Her pink tongue darted out to wet her lip on instinct, but it crossed over my finger, and my cock instantly began to harden. I didn't think it had been her intention, but damn did I suddenly want her tongue to stroke other areas.
Clearing my throat to hide a pained groan, I continued, "They rule through fear. If fear is suddenly absent, how do they control everyone?"
Her long lashes fluttered, and the warmth of her breath fanned across my thumb. Removing it, I dropped my hand to my side before I did something irrational like peel those tight leather pants down so I could taste her. Or bend her over the balcony and fuck her loud enough that the entire estate heard how good I could make her feel. That she was mine.
Lust and desire coursed through me in a blinding inferno, obscuring all rationalization.
Her eyebrows pinched together as she asked, "But didn't the devil appoint them as leaders of the houses? Surely, that gave them power to control their people without fear."
My own brows rose and my mouth ballooned with air as I considered how to tread with this answer. Blowing my breath out, I hedged, "My parents could get in a lot of trouble for this information getting out, and my family is the most important thing in this world to me. Know that I don't share this lightly and that I'm entrusting you to keep it to yourself."
Her lips thinned with determination and a glint entered her eyes, as if she was steeling herself for me to drop a bomb on her. She wasn't wrong.
She gave a small nod of understanding as encouragement for me to continue.
Looking back out into the sky, I admitted, "Some people in charge of their houses weren't always that way. Lucifer hand chose your Dad, my parents, Damien’s, and Colt's to lead. But the House of Sin and House of Runes leaders were not."
Her sharp intake of breath confirmed that her father had not filled her in on that. My parents had risked everything when they’d told my sister and me, but we kept nothing from each other. They’d told us if anything ever happened to them, to look to those two Houses because they were brutal strategists who killed for their position.
When I looked back at Ama, she appeared troubled, prompting me to ask, "What are you thinking?"
Her lips pursed as she shook her head. "Why wouldn't my dad tell me that? That sounds like vital information to know going into this. They're dangerous and bloodthirsty for power."
Ahh, so she had a close relationship with her father like I did with my own parents. The hurt in her voice was clear, and I knew I needed to offer a different perspective to shed some light.
"Don't think that way. He was protecting you by not telling you. The houses made a pact to not tell their subjects of the power struggles and deaths in those two Houses in particular. Our realm needed unity and peace, not the war that would have happened if the four true rulers had denied the two who had killed for their titles."
A small growl of frustration burst from her, and she threw her hands in the air as she exclaimed, "I'm not a child, though! I don't need to be coddled or kept in the dark for my own safety."
I had a feeling that this wasn’t the first time Ama had felt this way.
I kept my voice even and soft as I spoke, trying to calm her. "I trusted you enough to tell you, Ama. Don't let your agitation at who you didn't hear this information from overwhelm the fact that you are the only person outside of my sister and I who knows—other than the kings and queens."
The fight bled out of her instantly. Her shoulders sagged and she turned her doe eyes up to meet my gaze. "I'm sorry. My dad is just my best friend, and it hurts to think he would keep something from me."
The overwhelming need to comfort her had me pulling her softly into my embrace and wrapping my arms around her snugly. Her arms wrapped around me instantly, returning the gesture as she tucked her head into my lower chest and whispered, "You barely know me, yet you shared something that could hurt your family. Why is that?"
My hand began to trace circles on her back where her wings would have been as I chose to be honest and open with her. "I might have just met you, but my soul doesn't feel like we just met."
That felt like a heavy bomb to drop, but I respected the way she had been true to herself, and I would give her that same side of me in return. The true me. No walls.
Silence stretched between us, and I worried that maybe I had made the wrong move. Then, her arms tightened around me as she nuzzled into me and softly admitted, "I feel the same way. You feel like home. No judgement. Safety. Unwavering trust. But that's insane, isn't it?"
The smile that lit my face was so wide it hurt my cheeks, but I couldn't help it. My entire being felt like it was glowing. This was just right. Us.
"It is a bit insane,” I hedged, but then I exhaled, kissing the top of her head, “But damn does insanity feel good."
She giggled at that answer and tipped her head up to look at me. I tilted my chin down as she moved. Once again, I fell deep into the pools of warmth reflected in her eyes. At this moment, it was only her and me. The world could burn down around us and I wouldn't notice anything other than the treasure in my arms.
"May I kiss you, Ama?"
A multitude of emotions crossed her face, flashing from intrigue, to fear, to uncertainty, and finally landing on disappointment. Had I fucked up and tried to make things physical too quickly? I hadn’t had any intentions of taking it further than a polite kiss, but she likely didn't think that.
"Damnit, I'm sorry." I cursed under my breath and dropped my arms, backing up to give her space.
She shocked me by tightening her grip around me and demanding, "Stop. It isn't you, it's me."
I couldn't help the laughter that ripped through me at the cliché line. That most definitely meant it was me, but she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I tried to not overthink her rejection. I couldn’t blame the woman—she’d just met me today. Just because I was losing it completely, didn’t mean I had to drag her down with me.
Vulnerability seeped into her voice as she admitted, "I can't kiss you because I could kill you. My hybrid powers are something I don't have a true grasp on yet. I have a..." she trailed off and looked away for a moment. Looking back at me, she continued, "I have mommy issues, to put it bluntly. I have shunned the Succubus side of myself because of it, and due to that, I almost killed the first boy I ever kissed. I began sucking his soul from his body without even trying."
Oh, it really wasn't me. In that case...
Before she had a chance to object, I held her face gently between my palms and melded our lips together. I didn’t fear her. Why would I fear something that was so natural? I refused to believe that she would hurt me. Subconsciously or otherwise.
Her small hands tried to push against my chest as she mumbled against my lips, “I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t hurt you.”
“Ama. I feel no pain. No pulling on my soul. Just you. Your lips on mine,” I murmured, opening my eyes to stare directly into hers.
Shock reflected back at me. Softly, I pressed my lips against hers, giving her a chance to react and understand that I was okay. A single tear rolled from the corner of her eye as she rose onto her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around my neck and returning the kiss.
Sparks danced behind my eyes when they closed.
I’d been wrong. This was our purpose in life. To find the other half of your soul that made life worth living.
Could this be what I had read about in my studies? The concept of fated mates?
Chapter Seventeen
Ama
I was kissing someone. Holy shit. I was kissing someone and he wasn’t dying. In fact, as I pulled back for a moment, overcome by emotions, tears streaking down my face and out of breath, I realized he looked more than healthy. He seemed to be vibrating with energy and power. There was an intensity to him that should have been intimidating but instead had me feeling ten times more turned on.
“Adrien,” I whispered as he pressed his forehead to mine. I felt that telltale p
rickle of heat across my body as my Succubus magic came alive, but instead of seeming to affect Adrien, it just wrapped around the two of us comfortingly. Just like with Finias, my magic seemed to not only accept Adrien, but also embrace him.
Oh man, I was so in over my head here.
“You are so exquisite.” He groaned, and I let out a small happy sound at the heat and comfort that radiated between us. How had I only known this man for hours? That was impossible. I felt like I had known him for years. Longer than Drayven.
Drayven…why wasn’t Adrien being affected by my kiss like Drayven had been?
“Where did you go, beauty?” my Wraith prince whispered softly, the question reminiscent of the one I had asked him. My Wraith prince? He really did feel like mine.
I met his gaze again and, on an impulse, I tugged him back down to me, the kiss quickly turning from delicate and teasing, almost cautious, to something deeper and hungrier.
A low, vibrating growl tore from his throat as his tattooed fingers twisted around the length of my hair, his grip unyielding.
There was something so dangerously seductive about this man, and it was paired with a quiet intensity that was so much more predatory than he let on. I could feel his shadows wrapping around us, and my fingers dropped down from his neck to dig lightly into his chest. I moaned against his lips as he pinned me to the nearest wall, his breathing as uneven and rough as my own.
I was losing myself in this man. Or maybe finding myself. Recreating myself. The limits I had imposed on myself for physical affection were gone, and with them the immense weight on my mind that told me I could never have a normal relationship. I hadn’t realized how much it truly impacted me subconsciously until the tears of relief had streamed down my face.
When the door swung open, slamming into the wall, I jolted and then let out a surprised scream as I was pulled rather violently away from Adrien.
Oh shit.
Insurrection (Monarchs of Hell Book 1) Page 14