When we get to our room, I turn the television on to cartoons for Cole. Then I plug my dead phone into the charger. I know I'll have a shit ton of messages as my phone vibrated in my pocket all night. I'm sure my sister has left her two cents in voicemail. I bet Porter has called as well. Carmen I'm sure got her hands on my number as well. It won't matter what any of them may have said. My mind is made up, Cole isn't going back.
I took a quick shower and put on the clean clothes I bought in the gift shop. My eyes feel heavier than they have ever felt in my life. I look at Cole laying on his belly, kicking his feet in the air. His eyes are glued to the TV.
“Hey, Cole, are you sleepy?” His head shakes no. “If I fall asleep you can't leave okay, Buddy?”
“Home?”
“You want to go home?”
“Yes.”
“At Porter’s or go home with me?”
“Blake.”
“We will after I get some sleep, okay?”
“Okay.”
He gets up and comes over to me, and his tiny arms wrap around my waist. I place a hand on top his little head, and mess with his curly hair. Is it possible to love this kid already?
I have been up for two days and it’s a good thing I like energy drinks. As exhausted as I am, I am having a hard time falling asleep. Is this how it will be being a parent? My eyelids are heavy as fuck, but I'm worried something will happen with Cole if I get some rest. What if he gets the door open somehow and wanders off? Or what if he slips and falls in the bathroom and splits his head open? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something terrible happens to him because of me.
My cell rings from across the room, and I close my eyes, wishing everyone would leave me the fuck alone. “I get, Daddy.” My eyes pop open. Did my son just call me daddy?
He hurries off the bed and grabs my phone. He brings it to me. “Thanks.”
I set it down on the bed. He looks at me like I have two heads but then gets back up next to me. “Puppy,” he says, jumping up and down on the bed, pointing at the TV.
“Do you want a puppy?”
“Yes,” he says with his arms in the air as he jumps.
“Maybe we can get you one.”
“Yay.”
I don't know how I have done it, but I managed to stay awake until Cole passed out. My kid has some energy. Nothing like the little boy I found sitting alone coloring in the corner. I need to get some sleep while I have the opportunity. I pick up my phone and set the alarm for two hours. I'm not sure how long he'll sleep, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
Chapter 15
Being home is bittersweet. Cole and I arrived home around ten last night. It felt odd to be in my house. When I left here a few short days ago, I was thrilled to have Carmen with me; even though, I forced her to be with me. I'm not going to deny I liked her and I held out hope that she might actually want to stay of her own accord.
From the moment Carmen sat down next to me at Whiskey Jack's I felt a connection to her. I would never have thought she was the girl who did my tattoo years ago. The same girl that I spent one incredible weekend with. I was starting to believe that fate was going to work its magic. I don't see that happening now. Not after she kept my son from me.
Now that I have a son, I need the club members to get their shit together. Whoever is telling club business needs to be found, the shit with Harper Chapter needs to go away and mostly, the club needs to get back to what it was intentionally made for. If none of that works, I'll have to leave. I can't raise my son around the shit that has been going down for the last few years. It would break my heart to give up the club that my father started, after all, he did it for me.
I pour a cup of coffee and carry it down the hall with me. I peek into my bedroom to check on Cole. He's still asleep on my bed. I leave the door cracked and make my way outside. I set the mug down on the railing as I light a smoke. I look down the hill to the clubhouse as I fill my lungs with smoke. Picking up my coffee to have a sip, I see Billy walking up the path to my house. His shoulder is bandaged where he was shot. I take one last puff of my smoke before I put it out.
“Comrade, my boy, welcome home.”
“Hey, Billy. How's the shoulder?”
“Ahh, it's fine. I'll be good as new in a few more days.”
“That is good to hear. Anything happen that I should know about while I was gone?”
“Yeah, I believe something has, but do you care to explain the mini standing behind you first?”
“He's mine.”
“Well, duh, any blind person could see that. How did you leave here with a wife and come home with a kid? Where is your bride?”
“I left her at Porter's. I found out she's the girl who did my tattoo.”
His eyes get big. “Don't tell me she's the mother as well.”
“Pretty fucked up, right?”
“Did you know?”
“I had no idea who she was, or that she had him.” Cole has been glued to my leg since he came outside. I bend down to his level. “Cole, this is my friend Billy. Can you say hi?” He shakes his head no.
“Cole, huh?”
“Crazy, right? I am calling a meeting this afternoon, so if there is something I need to know, now would be a good time to tell me.”
“Blake,” Cole says, pulling on my jeans. I reach down and pick him up. “Hungry.”
I motion for Billy to follow me inside. I sit Cole down on the counter while I get the boxes of cereal out of the pantry. He points at the one he wants when I hold them out in front of him.
“That would be my choice too, Buddy.”
I pour Cole a bowl of Life, then I put him to the floor and tell him to sit at the table. I get the milk, and when I go to pour some in his bowl, he holds his hand up to stop me.
“God, he is yours. I thought you were the only kid who ate dry cereal in the morning.” I laugh.
Cole looks confused but shoves cereal in his mouth. I realize when he called me daddy yesterday, that he didn’t know that is who I really am. I warm up my coffee and get Billy a cup before I sit with the two of them.
“So, I think Reed is the snitch. I told him I was riding out to the old lady's parent's cabin, so I could fix a water leak. I didn't tell anyone else where I was going.”
“Did you see who shot you?”
“Oh, I did. I know for a fact it was Chad. I also know he didn't follow me there. I was there an hour before he shot me.”
“Can you watch Cole for a few minutes?”
“Sure.”
“Cole, I'll be right back, okay?” He nods his head and I get up from the table.
I step outside and light a smoke as I begin to take the path to the clubhouse. I call Reed from my cell phone to meet me. Taking the last drag of my cigarette, I flick it to the ground, making sure to put it out with my boot. I open the club door and see Reed already waiting for me.
“Reed; walk with me. I need your help for a second.”
“Sure thing, Boss.” We walk across the property to the small shed. I get the key from the pocket of my jeans. I unlock the lock. “What are we doing?”
“I just need your opinion on something.” He steps inside first. I close the door behind us and I block the door with my body. “I got some information about you. I'm not liking what I heard.”
“This has got to be good. What am I being accused of?” I open the door and step outside. “Blake, what's going on?”
“I'm giving you a few hours to think. My club or Harper Chapter?” Before I shut the door, I say, “Think really hard about your confession. Coming clean will be in your best interest.” I lock the door before I go back to my house.
My cell phone rings when I'm halfway up the path. I check caller ID. Fucking hell these people won't leave me alone. “Porter,” I say into the phone.
“Have you lost your mind, Comrade?”
“Nope. Tell me, Porter, how long have you had my kid?”
“I had no idea he was yours. Blackwell dro
pped him off when he was about two weeks old. He raised money for the orphanage in exchange for us to take Cole. We were to keep him until he wanted him back. We weren't allowed to find him a family. I swear, Blake, I had no idea.”
“Well, I'm not giving him back.”
“He comes once a month to see Cole. If he's not here next week, Blake, shit will hit the fan. Carmen won't be safe here either.”
“Not my problem.”
“Are you telling me you don't care about your wife?”
“She isn't my wife.” I hang up the phone when I step up on my porch.
Chapter 16 ~ Carmen
I have cried many tears over the last two years wondering where my son disappeared to. I cried on his birthdays, holidays and many nights when falling asleep. I have missed over two years with him. I'm his mom and my heart was broken. I searched for him until my father sold me to Chad Harper. I often saw kids around town. I would check their necks for a birthmark to see if they were possibly mine. Cole was so close to home all that time. I stared out the window of my bedroom many nights praying for my baby to come home. All those months of being in my room, I could see Porter’s biker compound at the bottom of the hill. If I held out a finger straight from my nose, it would make a perfect line to Porter's. I thought I hated my father before, but now I wish him dead. Jessica told me the deal that was made between them and my dad, I wanted to get sick. How could he do such a horrible thing to me. He was pissed when he found out I was pregnant but stealing my son and putting him in an orphanage is downright cruel. He would come to my room at night and tell me we would find Cole. I always had a gut feeling he did something. I will never forgive him.
I have been sitting in my room at Porter's for the last three days. My heart is in a million pieces. I lost my son all over again. I lost his father for the second time also. It feels horrible to lose the only two people that I have ever loved. I may have only spent three days with Blake three years ago, but I fell in love with him. He saved my life, but that isn't what made me fall for him. It was the way he laughed, the carefree attitude, the way he held my hand after he talked me off the ledge and boy; could he kiss. I fell for him once he told me if I jumped, he had to jump also because he wouldn't be able to live if I were dead. I took his hand and he pulled me down off the bridge railing. I fell into his arms and he kissed me like no boy had ever done before. We spent the day together, mostly making out. Blake took my mind off my troubles and gave me something to live for. Later that night I was on the back of his bike riding around. He took me back to the bridge. He pulled over and we got off his bike. I asked what he was doing. He said all I can picture is you on the railing wanting to jump. I need to remember something else. He embraced me in his arms and kissed me. One thing led to another and we had sex standing up with me leaning on the railing, with him behind me, taking me to a place I’ve never been. The sex was unbelievably good. When we were getting ready to leave, he told me, whenever I crossed that bridge, I could now think of him.
The next day Blake walked into my tattoo shop and it took me the whole day to do his back. We spent that night and next day together until he had to leave. I took his number and promised I would keep in contact with him. My father found out about the tattoo shop I had and the weekend I spent with Blake. He closed my shop and erased Blake's number. I begged him not to do it. When I found out I was pregnant, I tried to find Blake. I snuck out of the house and went to the library to use their internet, so he wouldn't know. I could never find anything on him. Once again back when I was in my bedroom carrying Blake’s baby and was staring down at Porter's biker compound; was the one person who could tell me how to find Blake.
“Carmen, can I come in?” I get up and unlock the door for Porter. I see the guards at the door and roll my eyes. “It isn't what you think.”
“I've had plenty of guards outside my door. It has always been the same reason; it is so I don't run away.”
“That may have been the case in your past, but that isn't why now. Your father, Mr. Blackwell, is due to make an appearance. I put them there to watch and protect you. When your father learns Cole isn't here he is going to go ballistic.”
“Have you talked to Blake? Is my son safe?”
“Cole is safe. The club will keep him that way.”
“Blake isn't coming back for me, is he?”
“I don't know. He's pretty upset. I think he needs a few days to cool off.”
I start to cry. “I tried, Porter, I swear I did. I loved him. I loved Cole. I wanted us to be a family. Nobody understands the power my father had over me. The power he has over a lot of people.”
“I will keep working on Blake. He will come around, Carmen. The boy loves you.”
Porter hands me a tissue. I blow my nose and use the back of my hand to wipe the teardrops. “Porter, I'm free to leave any time I want?”
“Yes, Carmen, but I don't know if that is a good idea. If your father finds out, you or Blake were here. I don't know how I will protect you.”
“Can you get me out of here? I need to fix things with Blake.”
“Are you sure that is wise with him being pissed off?”
“It's been a long time coming, Porter, he needs to hear my side of the story.”
“I will see what arrangements I can make.”
“Thanks.” He goes to leave my room. “Porter,” I say. “Thanks for taking care of Cole. He looked healthy.”
“He's a very shy boy, but once he lets you in, he will keep you close. Jessica and I love him as if he were ours.”
“I love him.”
“I am sure you do. I have to go.”
He walks through the door that was kept open the entire time. I use my hand again to dry my tears. I curl into a ball on the bed.
“If he doesn't help you I will.”
“Scarlett?”
“I heard everything you two talked about. My brother likes to know the truth no matter how upset he is.” She comes to sit at the end of my bed. “So, you are Candi, the girl he talked about for months.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“He tried to call your tattoo shop and learned it was closed. When he couldn't find your name anywhere, he gave up. He was heartbroken. Don't break my brother's heart again, Carmen, and I will get you out of here tonight.”
“I swear, Scarlett, I won't. I love him and I love our son.”
“Then give me ten minutes.”
“You mean right now?”
“Yes, right now. Like you said it has been a long time coming.”
Chapter 17
When I get back to my house, Billy is looking through my mail next to the coffee maker. I stand on my porch watching through the screen door. What the hell is he doing? What could he possibly be looking for? I move to the other side of the door. I see Cole in my living room. I light a smoke and take a few drags, shifting back to watch Billy. He reads one of the envelopes and then snaps a picture of it. What the fuck! I put my cigarette out and open my door. He straightens the pile of mail then reaches for the coffee pot. I grab my mug off the table and hold it out to him. He fills my cup, acting like he hasn't done anything wrong. He parks his ass at my table.
“So, what did Reed say?”
“I didn't go see him. I went down to the clubhouse, but he wasn't there.”
“He is probably hiding now that you are back.”
“Yeah, you might be right. I think now would be a good time to call a meeting.” I call Cole from the door.
Billy gets his ass up. “What is the meeting about?”
“Harper Chapter, don't you want revenge on the asshole who shot you?”
“Well, I figured we had other things to worry about.”
“Like what, Billy?”
“Reed, our little snitch.”
“Cole, do you like to play outside? He shrugs a shoulder. “There's a swing on the porch.”
Billy laughs, “I don't think that is the kind kids like.”
“Well, I had to get him a
way for a minute. Listen, Billy, I did meet Reed. I put a bullet in his forehead for lying to my face. It helped he was telling Chad our business. I don't like my friends to cross me. You know what I mean?”
“Yep, that is why I am your right-hand man. I got your back, Comrade.”
I bet he does. “Let's go.” I carry Cole down the path. “Billy, I forgot something at the house. Stay here with Cole and I'll be right back.”
I set Cole down to the ground. I run back to my place. I go right to my mail. I glance through it all. What the fuck. There is nothing of importance. I check through it one more time. I overlooked the one from a P.O. Box in town. No name on it just the address. I hold it up in the air. I can't see what might be inside. I open it. It's a warning. Letters spelled out from magazine clippings. I laugh, real intimidating, Harper. You want your fiancé back, come and get her. She's all yours. Now, what I need to know, is why the hell did Billy take a photo of it. I fold the paper and shove it in my back pocket. Billy, Billy, Billy, what are you up too? I run back down the path. It will be the last time I trust him watching my kid until I know why my father's best friend is after me.
“When we get to the clubhouse, I need you to stick by my side. The members need to know we are in this as a team.”
“You got it. Are you telling them about Reed?”
“I am.”
“Well, let's get to it.”
When we get to the clubhouse, Billy doesn't stick to me like I asked. He wanders off to talk with Shane. I walk over and put a hand on his shoulder. He knows what I want without saying a word. I take Cole over to the ladies and they are happy to watch him. I make sure he is okay before unlocking the club office.
“All right boys, I see you got my text early this morning. Let's get this meeting under way. Drop your guns into the bucket on your way in.” A few of them are surprised by my demand, but they all do it. “That means you, too, Billy.” I shut the door after I pat him down. “Before we get started, I want phones on the table.” I watch as the members place their phones down. I smile. “Today we put to rest our snitch.”
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