***
In fact, it was the nurse’s station. The infirmary at Chickenfeet Academy was so determinedly cheerful that it was downright disturbing. Nurses flounced around looking pleasant and capable with platinum-blonde hair, crisp white uniforms, and platinum-blonde shoes. This only served to lull students into false security before a thermometer was shoved in undignified places.
“Let’s get out of here,” Henry hissed. The trio snuck into the nearest hospital room, turned on the television, and booted the patient out into the hallway. Luckily it was just Noodle Loudbottom who was having one of his embarrassing little problems.
“So we’ve traveled back in time,” Horrendous said, indicating the wall clock on the mind-dullingly beige wall. “Now we can free Cereals Back and save the world. Again.”
“Are you kidding?’ Henry asked. “There are more important things at stake now!”
“Like what?” asked Really.
“We need to get into movies! Try for some bigger books too. I could see myself doing seven hundred pages of heroics.”
Horrendous rolled her eyes. “Why not just enroll in a Wizard Triathlon or something?”
“Maybe I will. Wow, what’s that?” Something shiny was sticking out of Horrendous’s pocket.
“I kept one of those wizard toys.” She held up an hourglass pendent. “I was so busy doing your homework I didn’t have any time for my own lessons. Maybe with this, I can go back and take a few classes.” She regarded the swirling, shiny pendent. “Or all the classes. Wouldn’t that be something?” She eyed the somewhat crestfallen Really Wimpy. “Oh, hey, don’t worry. I got something for you too.”
He sniffed. “What?”
Horrendous held out a fluffy hamster. “Since your pet chinchilla was an evil spy for Lord Revolting and all.”
“Wow, jeepers, thanks,” Really said, tucking it into his pocket beside some pilfered trading cards.
Henry raised his wand. “Guess we’d better go save Cereals. Again.”
“Once more and he’ll be eligible for frequent flyer,” Horrendous muttered.
And they were off. Again.
***
Meanwhile, in a galaxy not far enough away…
“What do you mean the ship won’t go!” Guitard demanded.
“Sir, the little hamster has been stolen.”
“What do we do?”
“We could ask a dozen ensigns to get out and push.”
“Any other options?”
“Only if we learn how to actually use antimatter.”
“I see.” Guitard considered. “Round up some ensigns.”
And they boldly went.
***
“Henry, Cereals’ dying! We’ve got to save him,” Horrendous screeched. Again.
“Isn’t he evil?” Really asked.
Up ahead lay Cereals Back, Demeanies swarming from all directions. His brains had mostly finished dribbling. Really Wimpy started to shake.
“How can we have gotten here so late?” Henry Potty asked. “This is time travel!”
“You insisted on stopping for burgers,” Really mumbled.
“Oh, right. Do-over?”
A Preposterous Portfolio of Parodies: Free Selections from Spoofs of The Hobbit, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Star Trek and More Page 14