‘What? No, I can’t stay that long!’ Rhea protested.
‘Just trust me,’ whispered the queen. ‘I want you out of here more than you want to leave! And I’m telling you, leaving without an explanation is not a good idea. I know my son. Just give me some time. I’ll call you and tell you exactly what you’re supposed to do.’
Rhea looked vexed as the door burst open and Manav entered the room. The queen immediately threw her arms around Rhea as Rhea tried to go with the flow.
‘What happened?’ asked Manav. ‘Why do you look so worried?’
‘Worried? Nah, I’m not worried,’ Rhea said, annoyed with herself yet again for putting up all her emotions on display. She needed to learn to be more like the queen. What a badass.
‘Nothing, beta. We were just having a moment,’ said the queen, wiping away a fake tear from her eye.
Manav looked pleased. Right here in this room was everything he wanted out of life.
34
Short Version: The heroine and the evil queen come up with the most original idea ever: CANCER. But our hero has watched Breaking Bad and isn’t ready to give up.
The speech for Bill Gates went well. For a poorly made Bollywood movie. Actually it sounded more like a spoof but Manav had no idea because in the end, it fetched him the grant he so desperately wanted and the villagers decided to parade him on their shoulders to celebrate the rockstar that he was. Rhea watched the whole thing, waiting quietly for her moment. ‘The minute they carry him out Door #2,’ the queen had said, ‘that’s when you have to hand the letter over to the little girl and make your way out the back door.’ Rhea felt like she was in some kind of CIA drama, about to plant a bomb in enemy territory. In one sense, she was dropping a bomb. She knew for a fact that the letter would cause Manav to spiral into depression and possibly even self-destructive behaviour for months, even years. And yet, she knew it was the only way out. You don’t negotiate with Manav. Just like you don’t negotiate with terrorists. Her eyes darted across the auditorium looking for the queen. They seemed to exchange an encrypted message by sustained eye contact and within seconds, Rhea had disappeared and a little girl carrying a white envelope waded through the crowd, looking for Manav. Rhea knew she had to be quick because it wouldn’t take Manav any time to track her down the minute it reached his hands but she had to trust the queen to execute her part of the plan to perfection. Thankfully, the queen was a seasoned interceptor and she wasn’t planning on handing the envelope over to Manav until Rhea was in Mumbai and on her way to the US.
‘No,’ said Manav, every bit like a man in denial after he had read the letter for the eighteenth time. ‘She doesn’t have cancer. I was with her this whole time and she only had a weird cough. That was the FLU! I know the difference between a flu and cancer! I have watched Breaking Bad!’ The queen listened patiently, patting his back. She couldn’t tell if he was in pain or simply outraged because he didn’t believe a word of what was in there. But then again, the letter was also an outpouring of feelings and Rhea told him for the first time just how much she loved him. Surely, that part was true. It had to be. But how could he decide the cancer was a lie. And if it was, was she lying about being in love with him as well? She was known to come up with half explanations and half relationships. What if she was into half truths too? There was no way he was letting this rest. He had to find out for himself.
‘I’m so sorry, beta,’ the queen said putting on her nurturing maternal face. ‘Sometimes, when we’re not ready to let go of something that’s bad for us, God steps in and does what we can’t do. Maybe it’s time you let her go. Maybe you just need to get over her this time.’ Manav didn’t say anything so the queen took that to mean quiet resignation. ‘I know you want to do something because it’s not like you to not fight. But there’s nothing you can do,’ she sighed.
‘Actually, there is,’ said Manav as he raised his head from his mother’s lap after a few minutes. ‘There is always a way.’
And with that ominous declaration, Manav Jha stepped into the final act of his own story.
ACT 3
35
Short Version: The heroine is smarter than the hero. This revelation only makes him pursue her more relentlessly.
Manav didn’t ask for much out of life. He just wanted—after a seemingly endless number of dramatic twists—to be reunited with his one true love. It was what every Bollywood hit promised he’d get if he didn’t give up. And he wasn’t about to. But as is the case with people who don’t want to be found, Rhea had left without a trace—her family, her friends, her fans, no one in Delhi seemed to have a clue. In fact, they didn’t even seem to be aware of the fact that she had been in India these last few weeks. Or that she had cancer.
‘How odd,’ thought Manav. ‘Rhea may have wanted her freedom but there was no way she was locking her family out of something like this.’ Which only meant one thing. She didn’t want to be with him so she came up with this elaborate lie just to get away from him. For good. Again. A regular guy might have broken down at that, slashed his wrists and sworn off women for a few years but this was Manav Jha—he had a knack for seeing the silver lining where none existed.
‘Wow,’ Manav said out loud as he realized that Rhea had outsmarted him. Twice. She wasn’t quite the naïve little girl he had made her out to be at all. She was a sly little bitch … er darling, who knew exactly what she wanted and stopped at nothing to get it. Check it out—she confused a guy with a fake relationship status because it was convenient at the time, she dropped out of college and made her parents spend on a fake wedding to another unsuspecting chap who didn’t know better and she escaped to London so she could get away from the first guy, and God knows what happened in London, but she left that bloke in the lurch and came back to the first guy because she knew he’d receive her with open arms and the minute things started getting serious, she had gone to the extent of faking cancer and lying to him about being in love with him just to get away from everything once again and managed to disappear without a trace. ‘Genius,’ Manav said to himself as the revelation hit him: they were basically Mr & Mrs Smith! Just two sides of a coin and while she didn’t know it yet, she really did belong with him.
And as the only person armed with the truth (that Rhea did not have cancer and only three months to live), Manav went about his mission much like a secret agent. For the next three days, he was locked up in his room with pictures of Rhea, snippets of their conversations, her letter, all pinned up on his wall. It really shouldn’t have taken him more than a few minutes to arrive at the conclusion that she must have made her way to the US considering the whole singing at bars obsession, but Manav loved the drama of it all. And now that he had spent three days staring at random pictures and reading the letter over and over for ‘clues,’ he was convinced his conclusion was spot on. Of course, if Rhea really wanted to get away from him and had half a brain, she would have disappeared to any place other than New York but sometimes the obvious does happen.
Manav was convinced his next move had to be flying to New York but for once, he wanted some proof. After all, she had outsmarted him twice. So he made an SOS call to his blonde pal from Bill Gates’ entourage. She was the only one he had really interacted with and for some reason, she had gone out of her way to help him get the grant. He had no idea why but he had chalked it down to his way with women. And while he had never used his charm consciously on women before, this was about Rhea. And he had to do whatever it took.
‘I’m afraid we can’t give out that information,’ the blonde sounded rather cold on the phone. Was she even the same person? She was talking to him like he was just a regular guy asking for information on someone’s visa.
‘Look, I understand this is confidential information but she is the love of my life and she’s not well.’ Manav worked up some tears so his voice sounded like it was breaking. ‘I just need to know if she left for the US!’
The blonde took a long breath. She really wasn’t authorized
to do this but if there was anything she knew about Manav, it was the fact that he never backed down. Also, it had been painful enough dealing with him throughout their time in India and she didn’t want him calling her again. And if she remembered right, Mr Gates had said at one point to do whatever it took to keep him happy. ‘Alright, I’ll see what I can do,’ she said and Manav smiled.
‘Uhh, not to be pushy or anything, but can you get back to me in twenty-four hours?’
The blonde gritted her perfect set of pearly white teeth. ‘Alright,’ she said. Anything to be rid of this obnoxious ass once and for all.
When Manav finally emerged from his man cave, the queen was visibly shocked. In a good way, that is. She was expecting a mass of mangled emotions on legs but the man who stood facing her was anything but defeated and pitiful. In fact, the queen had to admit he had never looked this handsome before. She had braced herself for a guy in pyjamas who hadn’t showered in three days, sporting an untrimmed beard but here he was looking like a man from a deo commercial. And he had an appetite too! In fact, he had called for a celebratory feast. ‘What is going on?’ thought the queen. ‘This could mean either of two things: he gave himself time to grieve and he’s now finally ready to move on OR …’
‘I’m leaving for New York,’ Manav said casually as the food was served. The queen ate in silence trying not to choke on the parathas. ‘… OR that,’ she thought.
36
Short Version: The heartbreaker gets her heart broken. By everyone. At the same time.
It wasn’t easy being the most beautiful girl in the room. Every freaking room. People had a way of attributing all sorts of glowing qualities to Rhea simply upon a glimpse of her smile and then walking out on her with a huge display of hurt and heartbreak when they discovered that she was never all that to begin with. If that wasn’t enough, there was that ancient prophecy. It basically suggested that she was doomed and Rhea was beginning to wonder if there was any point in fighting it at all.
‘I mean, check me out,’ said a very drunk Rhea to her new Polish roommate Oleksandra who also sang at Kilty Kilty—a seedy Scottish bar in downtown New York. ‘This was my big dream. I am currently living my biggest dream!’ Rhea broke down as Olek handed her a tissue. She didn’t know how to help this naïve, hot mess of a girl who seemed so far removed from the real world she might as well have been a time-traveller. ‘Oo nose? Maybe she ees one,’ Oleksandra thought to herself and continued to nod in understanding.
‘Maybe it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy,’ Rhea sniffed. ‘I came all the way here to avoid Manav thinking he was going to be my undoing and yet here I am, all alone, so broke that I have to live in that tiny matchbox of a house … no offence,’ she said to Olek as she realized what she was doing. The girl had been nothing but kind to her and had welcomed her into her tiny matchbox and all she had done was complain. ‘I’m sorry,’ Rhea said and Olek smiled. She wasn’t offended, she was amused. She thought Rhea’s brain was the real matchbox and she pitied her for having to live there. ‘Eets thothally okay, I geht ith. Yore fahtherrrr is thycoon, basikelly.’
‘It’s just that …’ Rhea had to complete what she started. ‘Even the servants’ quarters in my father’s house were five times the size of this matchbox!’ She broke into sobs.
Olek had had enough by now. She had spent the whole day listening to Rhea whine about how her parents had decided to withdraw her funds. They had had a long talk with her and presented her with two options: a) She could pack her bags and come home right away and they would take care of her like they always had and make sure that she was safe from Manav as well. Or b) If she was too addicted to her new freedom and wasn’t ready to give up doing unspeakable things in the Somany name (news of her many escapades had travelled all the way from London to Delhi), then they wanted no part in it. She’d just have to find a way to fund her new lifestyle and return home if and when she was ready to grow up. Rhea had been droning on and on about how unreasonable her parents were being and Olek couldn’t wrap her head around it. She had left her large family in Poland in the hope of making it here with the only thing she believed she had—her voice. And even now, she had given herself three years and if she couldn’t make it, she was going back to help her family by pursuing her old job in the railways. So while Rhea’s story had been most fascinating, she felt it was time someone gave her the facts. ‘Luk, Ray,’ she said. It was just easier calling her by her seedy singer name. ‘Yu can’th geth yu frrreedhom and kohnthinyu dheepending on yu femily forrr the moniess. Yu hev thu sthandh up forrrr yuself. Yu hev thu be sthrrrrong.’
Rhea sniffled. She had always thought of herself as an incurable optimist but that was easy to be in Delhi and even London when she had people to do her bidding. She had never thought of it that way though—she had always assumed people did things for her out of love and that said love would never run out. And yet here she was, all alone—her family, Kiran, Ro, they had all gone. And as if this didn’t hurt enough, her personal superhero, the President had dumped her. Yes, dumped her. He had rescued her from her Manav situation as promised, brought her to New York, spent one last rowdy night with her out on the town (he was undercover, of course) as a toast to their peculiar brand of friendship and then told her that she would never see or hear from him again. This had gone on longer than he had expected and while he had grown fond of her, he had a country to run. It had seemed fair and while she was heartbroken, her gratitude for all that he had done overrode all hurt feelings and she had let him go with grace and poise. Except, she didn’t know then that a few days later, her parents would dump her too and withdraw her funds. And with no world leader on speed dial, what was a girl to do?
‘What do I do now?’ she asked between sniffles.
‘Yu werrrk harrrd,’ Olek gave her the only answer she knew.
‘And what if that still doesn’t work?’
‘Den yu go baackk to Eendiya,’ Olek’s matter-of-factness made Rhea burst into fierce sobs. People had started to notice. In fact, some of them were giving Olek dirty looks as if she was the one breaking up with Rhea. The general public was always on Rhea’s side. That was the one advantage of being the prettiest girl in the room. ‘Yu geythup now,’ Olek said firmly. ‘Eenuff of thee vodhka. Yu needh thu sleeeep so yu kan be frrreysh thumorrow.’
‘No, I need to sleep so I can die and not see another day like this,’ Rhea mumbled melodramatically as Olek paid for the drinks and lifted her off the table as if she were a tantrum-throwing toddler.
37
Short Version: The hero’s former sidekick is now cooler than him. Way cooler. But that doesn’t deter him from his ridiculous quest because he is the hero.
Manav barely recognized Amar. In his fancy suit, $100 haircut and a gorgeous Indian-American girlfriend by his side, he seemed to be living the good life. Was this the same guy who had fallen off a mango tree whilst attempting to stalk Rhea on his behalf? Look how well he had blended in! For a second, Manav was tempted to imagine what life might be like if he gave up on his Rhea obsession and moved the hell on. Perhaps he’d have his own fancy Wall Street girlfriend too. He quickly shook the thought away like he had accidentally slipped into someone else’s fantasy. This was not what he wanted. Manav was not one to get carried away by shiny new objects. He believed in hard work, rewards and most importantly, return on investment. And for the love of God, he had invested way too much in Rhea Somany and had got nothing but heartache and misery to show for it. There was no way he was giving up now. He had his confirmation from Bill Gates’ blonde who knew someone who knew someone who worked at the American embassy: Rhea had left for the United States. He couldn’t be sure if she was in New York but so far, his gut had served him well as far as Rhea was concerned. It was just a matter of being patient and persistent. He had to have her—she was the only woman twisted enough to be one step ahead of him and he could use more of that energy in his life. Or so he thought. Manav didn’t know this because he was very much in the dark a
bout his mother but he was subconsciously attracted to women who had her devious streak. It was one happy Freudian party.
‘Dude! Don’t tell me you’re still not over that chick!’ Amar was thrown. He was at a stage in his life where he could barely recognize himself back in college and to think that the guy he once hero-worshipped was still living in some sort of time-warp was all too distressing at a personal level.
Manav sighed deeply. ‘A lot has happened that you don’t know of …’
‘Well, do tell. Archu and I love a good drama,’ he said pulling his girlfriend closer.
‘It’s true,’ Archana joined in. ‘And I’ve heard so much about your college stories with this Rhea girl! This is all so exciting.’
They were sweet and warm but they made Manav uncomfortable. When he was around them, he couldn’t help but feel the time-warp himself and he knew it wasn’t real. And yet, he was shacking up at their place during his time in New York and he had to be clever about this. Manav was well aware that being from a small town was a card he could play only in India. To the rest of the world he was a stalker. And while he was clear that such labelling was unfair and elitist, this was not the time nor the place to crusade against that. Amar hadn’t even heard the whole story and he was already judging him for wanting to pursue Rhea after all these years. What the hell did he know? What if some people did find the love of their lives in college? And what if the love of their lives were not aware of it? Nobody said love was easy.
‘It’s a long story and I’m tired,’ he said. ‘Maybe some other time.’
‘Fine, we’ll nag you again tomorrow but are you at least going to tell me where this job is at and if you need a ride to work?’ Amar said looking somewhat suspicious. Something was off about this. It was like meeting Manav back in college. Meaning, he seemed exactly the same Manav he was in college. But he didn’t want to pry any further. ‘He’ll open up when he’s ready,’ he thought.
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