by Olivia Miles
Cole supposed he should be flattered. After all, Lanie was an attractive woman. Successful, too. And she was actually interested in having a drink with him, socially, even if that hadn’t been the intention when he’d invited her.
He didn’t give that too much thought.
“Thanks for meeting me after hours. I would have met you at the office, but I’ve been busy on a job site.”
The frown reappeared on Lanie’s forward, and Cole stifled a wince. He’d messed up, royally.
“I’m looking to get some advice, about listing my mother’s house. Not now…but eventually. Soon.” God, he hated even thinking about it. He paused, let it sink in, and forced himself to keep going. “I’m just trying to plan ahead, you see, and I’d prefer if we could keep this between the two of us.”
Lanie’s eyes were wide as she stared at him, but to her credit, she nodded curtly and said, “Absolutely. I’m vaguely familiar with the property, but I’d probably have to walk through it to have a better assessment for list price.”
“Eventually, yes,” Cole said. Now wasn’t the time. His mother didn’t know. Couldn’t know. It would break her heart to think of him selling that house, nearly as much as it broke his heart to think of leaving it. But it would hurt worse to stay.
He frowned and stared at the table.
“You sure you want to sell?” she asked, picking up on his exact feelings. “Although, a single guy, you might be wanting something closer into town. Near the action.” She waggled her eyebrows.
Despite himself, Cole laughed. “I’ll be moving out of town, actually.” Probably, out of state.
He wavered slightly at the disappointment in her face, the doubts that he’d started to consider creeping back in. The ones he’d been having for a couple weeks now, ever since he started the project at the bakery.
Ever since he connected with Maddie.
“Lucky you, honestly,” Lanie said. “This town is charming, don’t get me wrong, but if it wasn’t for my booming business, I’d probably be on the next bus to Chicago.”
Cole appreciated her banter. It freed his mind from having to think of other things. Things that shouldn’t have any bearing on his long-term plans—ones he had made years back, based on a lifetime of experiences.
This town held nothing for him but bad feelings and a worse reputation, not that he could blame anyone but himself for that. He needed a fresh start. A chance to put all this unease behind him.
But that wasn’t all it was. And he knew it. It was difficult enough staying in Blue Harbor after his father left town. It was be downright impossible to stay once his mother was gone too.
“Have you thought about where you’d go?” Lanie asked once the waiter had returned with their drinks.
He considered this for a moment. Leaving town was where his plan stopped. The future was wide open, but instead of feeling full of possibility, it suddenly felt strangely empty.
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head. “One step at a time. And I’m not going to be listing the house anytime too soon.” At least, he didn’t hope so. “I just…like to be prepared.”
“Responsible,” she said. “I wish all my sellers had the same approach. It takes time to get a house ready to sell for top dollar.”
“Responsible is a word that few people in town would connect to me.” He raised an eyebrow, and she gave a knowing smile in return.
“People grow up,” she said, giving him a suggestive look that was his cue to leave.
He leaned back, nodded slowly. He had grown up, he supposed, turned into the kind of son that would make his mother proud. But he wasn’t so sure that selling her house would make her happy. It was the first selfish thing he had done in a long time.
It needed to be done, he reminded himself firmly.
Lanie gave a little defeated sigh and raised her glass. “I never shake hands until a deal is closed, but here’s a toast. To a…professional relationship.”
Cole grin, relieved. “I’ll drink to that,” he said, now regretting that he’d only ordered a glass of water.
He glanced over to search for the waiter, for something stronger, but his eyes caught something across the bar.
It was Gabby. She staring at him, with the same accusing look that he’d come to know all too well growing up in this town.
And beside her, Maddie.
And just before he could hold up a hand and wave, a crowd of guys he recognized from high school pushed up to the bar, and a moment later, when they cleared, the seats where Maddie and her cousin had sat were empty.
And Maddie was gone.
13
The alarm went off at the same time as usual the next morning, but Maddie was already awake. More like, she’d never fallen asleep.
She brewed a pot of coffee and hugged her robe tighter as she looked out the window onto the sunny, autumn morning. October was her favorite month, technically. The leaves on the maple tree in the backyard wouldn’t last much longer, she knew, and so she decided to take her mug out to the small patio table to enjoy the view.
Her robe was warm enough that she didn’t need a coat, but she swapped her slippers for her Sherpa-lined boots, and ventured out the back door. She was surprised to see that Amelia had the same idea as her.
“Hey!” she said. “You aren’t at the café?” Maddie checked her watch to be sure she wasn’t the one mixed up—she wouldn’t be surprised anymore. Her head was all over the place these days. It was well after six. Amelia was always at the café by now.
And Maddie was happy that she had already made the cinnamon rolls for today when she’d returned from the pub last night, too wound up to sleep.
“Be sure to grab the cinnamon rolls on your way in.”
“I’ll leave right before we open,” Amelia said. “Candy said she’d get in early today so I could catch up on some stuff around the house this morning. I’ve run out of time for laundry and errands now that I’m back together with Matt.”
Back together was a stretch. They’d been apart for a dozen years. While factual, Maddie knew that it was Amelia’s humble way of not stating the obvious.
“You mean, now that you have a boyfriend.” Despite the sad state of her own love life, Maddie couldn’t help but grin. She loved teasing Amelia. Sure enough, her sister’s cheeks turned pink.
“I can see that you’re pleased about that.” Amelia’s smile was rueful. “And now that I have a boyfriend, you can finally get off my back. Actually, maybe I can turn the tables now. Candy seems to think that there might be something going on between you and Cole.” She waggled her eyebrows.
“Pfft. Please.” But Maddie struggled to make eye contact, and she steeled away from the tears that threatened by taking a slow sip of her coffee. It had come out just right today, the perfect ratio of cream to brown sugar, her favorite combination, but it did little to lift her spirits. “Cole is my contractor, and not by choice, either. And I have no time for a relationship or romance. I’m starting my own business. You know better than anyone just how much time that takes.”
Amelia nodded thoughtfully. “I do. And I also know now that it doesn’t have to be that way. I poured all my energy and time into Firefly for too many years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of that place, and I want it to succeed. But there’s such a thing in life as balance, and for a long time, I think I used my career as a crutch.”
“How so?” Maddie stared at her sister. It was the first time she’d heard Amelia admit to having any doubts about how she’d run her very successful café.
“It’s easy to throw yourself into a business. To believe that every decision you make will lead to success or failure. To feel guilty if you don’t get everything right or devote all your time to it.” She shrugged. “Some nights are bad. Some months are bad. If I had sat back and recognized that sooner, it would have been a lot more difficult for me to hide behind my café instead of putting myself out there.” She grinned. “But then, I suppose I wouldn’t be back together with Matt
. Anyway, things have a way of working out in the end. If you are open to it.”
Maddie opened her mouth and then closed it again, nodding as she digested this information. She may not have openly asked for help when it came to her new venture, but that didn’t mean she would turn her back on advice that was offered. She was open-minded, she’d learned. Not just with the business, but with people. Most folks in town wouldn’t give Cole a second glance, much less a second chance. But she’d seen someone who was genuine and caring, and a far departure from what appeared on the surface.
She thought back to last night, and what Gabby had insisted before they’d gone to the pub, and then left shortly afterward.
Maybe things weren’t always as they appeared.
Maybe, when she saw Cole today, she’d learn that there was an entirely plausible (and platonic) reason for Cole to be having drinks with an attractive, available woman.
Or maybe that was wishful thinking again.
*
Despite the anger and confusion that Maddie had felt after last night, she couldn’t help but grin ear-to-ear when she arrived at the bakery later that morning, to see her beautiful, gleaming display case installed, and above it, a row of vintage-style pendant lights that she’d chosen to match the sconces that would go on the walls.
The lights were lit, giving a warm glow to the room. Her eyes drifted up to the large space along the back wall, above the counter, where her menu would be hung, her heart thumping at the thought of the carefully chosen selections on display for all to see.
“What do you think?”
Maddie turned to see Cole standing in the doorway, giving her an easy grin. For a moment it was as if nothing had passed between them last night, as if she hadn’t seen him, caught him, red-handed, having a drink with another woman just a day after kissing her. His expression showed no trace of guilt. But there was a question in his eyes. Hesitancy she hadn’t seen from him before, when usually he was so in control of his every emotion.
He’d made sure of that.
She hesitated, knowing how easy it would be to pretend that last night hadn’t happened. To go back to the day before instead, when he’d kissed her. Opened up to her. When it felt like they had bonded over more than paint colors and closets and shelving.
When it felt like whatever was forming between them would last longer than the last day of construction on the bakery.
Something in the rigid way he was standing told her that the door had shut. He’d closed off again, just like when he was a kid.
“It’s beautiful,” she said truthfully.
He nodded, but didn’t come much farther into the room. “Glad you approve, boss.”
He grinned at her, but something in his eyes fell flat. He was trying to keep things friendly, she saw, but his heart wasn’t in it.
Maybe, it never was.
“I’m not your—” She sighed. Wondered if she should just go into the kitchen and let him finish what was on the schedule for the day. The sconces. Hanging the sign. Polishing the wooden floorboards. And then…Then it would be over. He’d go and she’d be left with this bakery.
It was all she’d ever wanted once. Now, it didn’t feel like enough. It felt like something was missing. Something that she hadn’t even known that she wanted.
“I saw you last night,” she started again. She tried to keep her tone light and conversational rather than accusatory. After all, he had made her no promises. He was free to have drinks with whomever he pleased. They’d only shared a kiss.
But it felt like so much more than that. And the hurt that crept into her voice revealed her true feelings.
He nodded again, gave her a flash of a guilty grin that threw her. So he wasn’t going to deny it? Didn’t feel ashamed?
Unless maybe…
“It wasn’t a date, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Oh.” She blinked. Felt the breath escape her in a rush of relief that bordered on foolishness. So Gabby had been right. And yet again, Maddie had overanalyzed something. Doubted her own instincts. Lost trust in not only Cole, but in herself.
“I would have told you, and I tried to call you over, but you and Gabby seemed to leave before I had a chance.” He gave her a long, knowing look.
Maddie felt her shoulders slump as she walked closer to where he stood. “Gabby had to get going,” she started, knowing it was a lame excuse and that Gabby was never one to call it a night too soon. Maddie had Cora for that. “And I…Well, you and I had never really talked about what happened between us.”
“What happened between us.” Cole’s eyes locked with hers, his gaze steady, and Maddie could feel the pull, making her chest tighten, making her want to step closer, to feel his arms around her again, pulling her close against the heat of his body.
“That was—”
“A mistake,” he said before she had a chance to speak.
Nice. She had been about to say nice.
Now, she was almost relieved he’d cut her off before she’d had a chance to say what she’d intended—and meant. It had been nice to her. Very nice.
And to him it had been a mistake. Wow.
Sensing the hurt in her face, Cole dragged a hand through his hair, emitting a low groan. “I like you, Maddie. I like you a lot, and…I don’t really like a lot of people around here.”
“Maybe that’s because you never gave them a chance,” she said, hearing the hurt creep into her voice. She stared at him, angry, and angry at herself for daring to believe that he was someone different than he was.
Cole looked at the floor, shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Fair enough. But I’ve lived in this town all my life, and I made the decision a while back that I was going to leave, first chance I had.”
Maddie blinked at him. “So you were meeting with Lanie because she’s a real estate agent? What about your mother?”
Hurt flashed in his eyes. “Don’t you get it, Maddie? You, of all people? She’s the reason I’ve stayed, all this time. She’s the reason I’m still here.”
And the reason he would leave.
Maddie pulled in a breath and released it slowly. She could feel her own heartache, mirrored in his face. The horrible sense of impending loss, the fear of what would happen next, the miserable thought of being left behind, without any choice in the matter.
Only Cole did have a choice.
“Sometimes the memories keep people alive,” she told him softly. She opened her arms wide, to the room, to this bakery, that she had created only because she had refused to bury every memory of her mother along with her body. “This is all here because I didn’t want to put the past behind me. Same goes for Amelia. And Cora. And even Britt.”
Only Britt had done a runner. Fled first chance she had. Said she couldn’t bear to be in a place where her mother no longer was.
But she’d come back, eventually. And she was happy she had. They all were.
“You have a community here,” Maddie told him. “People who know your mother.”
Cole shook his head firmly. His jaw was tense. “No, you have a community. You have a family. I only ever had my mother. And people might know her, but they also know me. And they don’t like me much.”
“I like you,” she said, giving him a little smile. “And Bella over at the bookstore. And Candy.” She’d been about to mention Matt, and Gabby, but she could tell that he wasn’t open to hearing any of it.
That maybe, he wasn’t very open to anything. Or anyone.
For a moment she thought she saw a hint of a smile pass over his face, but it was gone all too soon.
“I’m sorry, Maddie. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you. I shouldn’t have led you on. Not when I’ve already made up my mind.”
“So that’s it then, is it? You won’t even consider the possibility of sticking around, seeing if something good can happen in this town?”
“Staying in town wouldn’t change anything,” he replied.
“What’s t
hat supposed to mean?”
He tossed up his hands, exasperated. “Relationships don’t last, Maddie. Either they end, or someone dies. Either way, they are over.”
“So you’d rather be alone?” She stared at him. “You said you always wished you had more family.”
“I wished for a lot of things. For my father to stick around. For my father to come back. For my mother to…” He shook his head. His jaw pulsed.
Maddie took a step toward him, but he backed up. She stopped, realizing that he wasn’t going to be swayed. That his mind was made up. That he was determined to be the lonely, angry boy he’d always been, not the man she believed him to be.
“I’ll go and let you finish up,” she said.
She turned, hating that this space had now become tainted with bad memories and fresh hurt, when it was supposed to be her happy place. The best parts of her past. The brightness of her future.
“Maddie.” His voice was low, but insistent, and she turned slowly, daring to hope for one second that he had changed his mind.
Changed his heart.
But the sadness in his eyes told her more than his words.
“Thank you, Maddie, for everything,” he said.
It was the closest she would get to a good-bye.
14
Maddie slept in the next morning, the thrill of going into the bakery had been replaced with the dread of seeing Cole again, and knowing that his mind was made up. That he’d let the past define him. That nothing she could say would change that.
Amelia had already popped in and grabbed the cinnamon rolls from the fridge; Maddie hadn’t even stirred, but Amelia had no doubt let herself in the back door and been quick and quiet.
She made coffee in the kitchen, looking out her window as it percolated, to the big maple tree in the backyard that boasted crimson leaves, mixed with orange. She loved that tree. Always said it was one of the reasons she would never move from this apartment, even though she knew that eventually she would. Amelia and Matt were getting closer by the day, and it was inevitable that they’d get married, move in together, that they might need more space, want to expand into this garden unit.