by A. K. Evans
“Tillie.” Liam’s voice got even softer. “He didn’t…”
She shook her head. “No. But he wasn’t happy when I turned him down either.”
“Did he hurt you?” he pressed.
Looking back and forth between us, I could see she was hesitating. Tillie got beyond whatever it was and murmured, “We were making out in his car. I was fine with the kissing. I liked it. But then he started doing a lot of touching. I kept moving his hands away from places I didn’t want him touching. When he didn’t stop, I stopped kissing him. He tried convincing me to take things further with him, but I’m not ready for that. Not with him.”
She paused a moment to collect her thoughts. I let her take the time she needed because I didn’t exactly trust myself not to say or do anything crazy.
“I told him I was fine with kissing, but nothing else. Initially, he seemed okay with it because he started kissing me again. But it wasn’t more than a minute or two later when his hands started drifting once more. When I pulled away from him for the second time, he basically told me that I should consider myself lucky to be with him and that there were plenty of other girls who weren’t teases. At that point, I told him we were over and just asked him to bring me home.”
“What’s his name again?” Liam asked.
“Andy Swift,” Tillie answered. “Why?”
Liam looked at me and ordered, “Stay here with her. I’ll be back.”
“Liam, no,” she said as she grabbed his wrist.
He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry, but this is not okay. I can’t let this go. Because you still have the rest of the school year left. I need him to know that he’s not going to even look in your direction.”
“I don’t want you to get involved in this mess.”
“Do you want to get back with this guy?” he questioned her.
Tillie shook her head. “No.”
“Great. Good. Because he doesn’t deserve you. He needs to be warned that I better not ever hear that he’s disrespected you again. If he does, he’s going to wish he hadn’t.”
“I’m sure it’s done. He’s just going to move on to the next girl,” Tillie reasoned. “One that’ll be far more willing than I was.”
“That’s fine. I’m still going to make sure it stays that way,” Liam stated as he stood and walked toward the door. “I’ll be back.”
With that, he walked out.
There was silence in the room for a few moments after the door closed behind my brother. Eventually, Tillie broke the silence. And when she did, I wished I’d left with Liam. Because Tillie didn’t say anything that I had ever wanted to hear.
“I might technically be an only child, but it’s like having my very own big brother.”
She thought of us as her brothers. The disappointment I felt was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It was worse than disappointment. It was devastation.
Despite my feelings, I turned my head in her direction and let out a laugh. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Something shifted in her face, but I didn’t quite know what it was. As quick as it was there, it was gone. I did my best to ignore it and asked, “Are you okay?”
Her eyes held mine a moment before she brought her hand to my forearm and squeezed. After giving me a nod, she answered, “I am now. Thank you, Zev. It means a lot to me that I can count on you to be there for me.”
The feel of her touch on my skin sent shockwaves through my body. Just a simple touch of her fingertips on my arm felt like heaven. What I would have given to feel her lips on mine.
I had to snap myself out of it. This was the woman my brother was going to marry. I couldn’t keep thinking about her like this.
So, I shook off the thoughts and assured her, “Always, Tillie. You’re our best friend. We care about you just as much as we care about each other. Liam and I will always be here for you.”
Another look washed over her face that seemed like a bit of disappointment mixed with frustration. I didn’t quite understand it considering I’d just promised her that she’d always be able to count on us, but I didn’t question her on it either.
Tillie seemed to recover quickly and proved it by asking, “Want to check out some of the new ceramics I’ve been working on?”
“Sure.”
Later that night, my brother was sitting outside on our deck. I sat down next to him but didn’t immediately say anything. I knew he had the situation with Tillie on his mind, and I wanted to give him the opportunity to talk about it if he wanted to.
He didn’t.
So, after some time had passed and I’d grown frustrated waiting for him to bring it up, I asked, “Why haven’t you just asked her out?”
I don’t know why I did it. I didn’t want Liam dating her. I didn’t know how I’d be able to handle it knowing he was taking her out, being alone with her, kissing her, and most of all, loving her.
But I had to consider the alternative.
She could deal with assholes like the guy today.
And Tillie deserved so much more than what she got from him.
As much as I wanted her for myself, I wasn’t going to cross that line with my brother. And if it came down to her being with a jerk like she’d been with until today or being with my brother, I knew Liam was the better choice.
He’d love her.
He’d take care of her.
He’d never force himself on her.
All I wanted was for her to be happy. I didn’t want her to cry. I didn’t want her to feel pressured to do anything.
I loved her.
And I knew this wasn’t some high school, puppy love.
This was the real thing.
Because even though I wanted to be selfish, I’d give up what was best for me so she could be happy.
Even if that meant she’d end up being with my brother.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve stopped myself from doing just that,” he answered.
I wanted to tell him that I had a pretty good idea because I’d stopped myself from doing the same thing probably just as many times.
“What’s stopping you?” I asked instead.
“She’s still in school, Zev. I want her to finish high school, and I don’t want her missing out on all the things that we got to experience while we were there simply because she has an older boyfriend. I’m just giving her time to experience things.”
“Things like she experienced today?” I challenged him.
I knew it was a low blow, especially considering the fact that what happened had nothing to do with Liam. But I did not want to see what I saw today ever again. I didn’t want her to get another boyfriend that we didn’t know. I didn’t want to be worried about her being hurt by someone.
Liam would never hurt her.
“I know,” he replied. His voice was thick with emotion. “I should. I know I should. But I want to be fair to her. And I can’t exactly do this right now anyway.”
“Why not?” I pressed him.
“You heard her. She liked the guy,” he offered up his explanation. “You and I both know he’s a douche, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t like him. I’m not going to be the rebound guy. I’ll give her some time to move on from this before I make a move.”
I wasn’t sure I liked the idea. On one hand, everything Liam said made sense. On the other, Tillie being single only meant that someone else could come along and fill that void.
“Don’t wait too long, Liam,” I warned.
“Why are you saying it like that?” he asked, turning his head in my direction.
When my eyes met his, I explained, “Because she deserves better than what she got today. And you should want to give that to her.”
I had to have been crazy. I was encouraging my brother to go after the woman I loved. Not only that, but I was doing it knowing that she looked at us as her big brothers. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe I should have told him how she felt so he could move on.
But I didn’t.
If
he loved her and had any chance at all with her, I wanted him to go after it.
When Liam didn’t respond to me, I stood from the chair and walked to the door to go back into the house. Before I walked inside, I urged, “Don’t let her settle for someone who won’t give her the world.”
Then, I walked inside and went to my bedroom.
When I got in bed, I couldn’t fall asleep. I spent too much time tossing and turning, wondering how I’d live the rest of my life without the woman of my dreams.
Tillie
Eight Years Later
“That was amazing!”
“Thanks, Tillie. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Liam and I were sitting beside each other at the local movie theater on a random Wednesday afternoon in October. We were the only two people in the theater because kids were in school and most other adults were likely working.
But this is what had become our thing. We’d regularly make trips to the movies. Liam was all about the action films, and I loved being able to spend that time with him. We’d just finished watching the latest movie release that he’d worked on. It was spectacular. He’d given me the play-by-play of his scenes. I was in awe watching him on the big screen.
As the credits rolled up in front of our faces, we sat there and watched them. After some time had passed, I reached out and curled my fingers around Liam’s forearm.
“There you are,” I beamed, my eyes following his name all the way up until it was off-screen. Then I looked over at him with tears filling my eyes and shared, “I’m so proud of you, Liam.”
Liam gave me a look that told me he appreciated my words. He reached his free hand over, placed it on top of mine, and gave me a squeeze. “Thank you,” he said softly.
“We have to celebrate,” I declared. “I’m taking you out for a celebratory dinner.”
A look flashed across his face, and I knew he was going to say I was making a big deal out of nothing. I beat him to the punch and held my hand up in front of us.
“I don’t want any arguments,” I told him. “This is a huge accomplishment, and I want to celebrate with you.”
Realizing that I wasn’t going to back down, Liam dipped his chin and agreed, “Okay, Tillie. We can go out and celebrate.”
With that, we got up and left.
Fifteen minutes later, we were seated at a table in a local Mexican restaurant. It was Liam’s favorite place to eat.
While we waited for our meals, Liam and I shared the complimentary chips and salsa.
“So, when’s the next one coming out?” I asked.
“Are you talking about the one we just finished filming a few weeks ago?” he returned.
I nodded.
“Probably not for another eight or nine months,” he replied.
“I can’t wait to see it,” I stated. “You just better make sure you get back here to take me on our movie date once it’s in theaters.”
Liam rolled his eyes at me. “I’ve never once missed out on taking you to any of my movies,” he reminded me.
“I know. But the more you do, the more the industry learns about you. And then it’s not going to be long before you’re living the Hollywood life,” I argued.
Shaking his head, Liam said, “You’re crazy, Tillie. I’m not going to be living the Hollywood life.”
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. “Oh, please. Don’t tell me it isn’t already starting. You’re on set filming all day before you head out for a night on the town. I’m sure there are plenty of girls ready and willing to give the industry’s next rising star an enjoyable night.”
Liam burst out laughing. I continued to eat chips as I watched him do it. When he settled down, he lamented, “I’m sorry to break it to you, but it’s not like that.”
“What? I’m sure it is,” I asserted.
Shaking his head, he insisted, “It’s not. And the biggest reason for that is I’m not the industry’s next rising star that women would be falling all over themselves to get to, Til. It’s the actors that are recognizable. I’m not as big of a deal as you’d like to think.”
His explanation made sense, but I didn’t care. I shrugged my shoulders. “You’re a big deal in my book,” I assured him.
Liam gave me a small smile and said, “I know I am. And I love that. You’re the same for me.”
I loved Liam. Over the years, our relationship had become something I couldn’t live without. I needed my friendship with him just the same as I needed air in my lungs. While we didn’t get to see each other nearly as often as we used to when we were kids, I loved that our careers didn’t take over and make us lose sight of what was important. Liam and I were as close now as we were back then.
Probably even closer.
We talked about things now that I never imagined I’d ever discuss with him. Honestly, it made me feel good to know that this was the kind of relationship we had. Knowing Liam felt comfortable enough with who we were to each other that he’d share intimate details of his life outside of what we’d had growing up meant the world to me.
And that was precisely what he did next.
“Anyway, if there was a shot somebody would recognize me, it would be the other people filling roles on the set,” he noted.
Tipping my head to the side, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“I’m referring to the people who aren’t the actual movie stars,” he started. “I’m talking about the people behind the scenes who make it happen. Like the women who work in hair and makeup, for example.”
A look came over his face that told me there was a lot more behind that statement than just him providing me with information about the movie industry. I cocked an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look.
“Is there a particular lady in hair and makeup that you want to notice you?” I wondered. “Or has she already?”
His lips twitched. “There is a lady,” he admitted, unable to fight the grin spreading across his face.
I perked up in my seat. “Oh?”
Liam dipped his chin. “Yeah. I met her on the set of the movie we just finished filming. Her name is Alison, and she worked in hair and makeup. We saw each other every day for months during filming. A couple weeks before we wrapped, I got her number. We’ve been talking to each other regularly for the last few weeks. I really like her.”
“Aw, Liam. That’s great. What’s she like?”
“Beautiful,” he blurted without thinking. “And funny. She makes me laugh a lot.”
“Is it serious?” I wondered.
“I mean… it’s gotten serious in a lot of ways,” he began. “But it’s tough, too, because we’re both working a lot.”
I completely understood how their professions could make things difficult for them. Even still, I wanted Liam to be happy. “Well, I think if she makes you this happy and you both enjoy being around one another, you’ll figure out a way to make it work.”
He nodded his agreement. “Yeah. I’m hoping I can convince her to come here for Thanksgiving. I’d like to introduce her to Mom, Dad, Zev, and you.”
“Me?” I asked, surprised at this declaration. “It really is serious, isn’t it? More than you’ve let on?”
Liam gave me a look that told me I’d figured him out.
“You’re my best friend, Tillie. If any woman is ever going to be right for me, she’s got to be okay with you, too. I’m not going to deal with anyone forcing me to break the promise I made to you years ago. I won’t find a girl, forget how important you’ve been in my life, and cut you out because that woman might not like the friendship we have.”
My eyes welled up with tears. I couldn’t even begin to describe what it meant to me to know that Liam refused to allow anything to destroy our friendship.
“Well, I hope she makes it out, and I can make a good impression on her,” I rasped. “I can see how much you like her.”
A moment later, our waitress returned with our entrees.
Liam and I dove in.
And I sat the
re saying a silent prayer that this woman wouldn’t be one of those jealous types. Liam was my best friend. I wanted him to be happy. But I knew he’d give up being happy with a woman if she couldn’t handle the relationship that I had with him.
I never would have wanted to be the reason he didn’t get everything he wanted in life, especially when another woman would never have to worry. As much as I loved Liam, my heart already belonged to another man.
Nine Months Later
Silence fell upon the crowd. Hundreds of us stood there waiting for the results.
Seconds felt like minutes. Minutes felt like hours.
It felt like it had taken a lifetime, but finally the score was posted. In the next moment, a deafening roar filled the air around me.
Zev had done it. He’d just become the gold medalist at the X Games skateboarding event. I couldn’t have been more proud of him.
Yes, I’d booked a flight to travel to Minneapolis to watch my best friend compete. I’d have flown halfway around the world to watch him if that’s what it took.
Turning my attention from where his name was displayed on the scoreboard to where he was standing, I saw Zev with a crowd of people surrounding him. There was a camera on him, and a woman was already attempting to interview him as a bevy of other individuals came up and congratulated him.
Zev gave the interview in between handshakes and hugs, a smile plastered on his face the entire time, before he signed a few autographs.
I stood there, waiting patiently for him. I preferred to hang back and let him have his moment. He’d make his way over to me eventually. He always did.
Once he had his medal and most of the crowd had dispersed, Zev lifted his eyes and scanned the crowd. He looked in my direction, locked his eyes on mine, and grinned.
I returned a smile as he started to move toward me.
He’d barely had an opportunity to come to a full stop when I launched myself into his arms. I threw my arms over his shoulders and pressed my body against his.
“Congratulations, Zev. I’m so happy for you,” I declared.
His arms tightened around me. “Thanks, Tillie. It means the world to me that you’re here,” he returned.