There’s a certain level of humiliation that I get off on. A perfect balance that makes me thrive.
I’m experiencing that right now. I’m smiling inside while I shuffle my bare feet on the hardwood floor, lowering my gaze.
Master Roman squeezes my hand. “I had a hard time getting Lucy out of the hot tub. She thinks she’s old enough to be out there alone.” He lifts my chin with one finger and then taps my nose. “Invincible.”
“I’m a big girl,” I remind him to keep the banter going.
“Yes, you are, blossom. But you still won’t be permitted in the back yard alone. It’s not safe. If I catch you out there without supervision, I’ll spank your bottom so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week.” He narrows his gaze.
“Yes, Sir,” I murmur.
“Good. Now go find something to play with while Julius and I work. If you’re good and don’t interrupt us, I’ll get you some ice cream after.”
I giggle. “Okay.” And then I race off to my playroom. It’s something I started doing on about the second day. I only do it with Master Roman still. I don’t want Nancy to admonish me in the hallway. Master Roman must not mind. He hasn’t said a word about me rushing around him.
I plop down on my bottom in my usual position with my legs crossed and my panties on the carpet. I’m used to this now. It’s soothing. It’s part of a routine.
I don’t work on weekends. Master Roman made that abundantly clear last weekend. I haven’t argued with him, and I won’t.
I can hear the men talking in the other room, and I grab my Disney coloring book and markers. I’ve used them several times, but I keep them in order in their package so they always look new.
I carefully select a pink one and then I swing around to lie on my belly and start to color. It’s calming. I’m aware that my panties are showing from behind. If Julius comes in, he will see them. My breasts are also hanging almost out from under my shirt.
I block out the discomfort and focus on my picture for a long time. When I’m finished, I sit up, putting the last marker back in the package. It’s pretty. I’ve stayed in the lines. I tear it out of the book carefully, planning to give it to Master Roman later.
I reach for a book next, closing my eyes so that I’m forced to select a random one. And then I flounce onto my beanbag, cross my legs at the ankles, and open the front cover.
The book is one of a dozen I have on that shelf about littles, middles, and babies. I usually skip around to the parts that interest me. I personally was a late bloomer, so the truth is that if I had the means, I might very well have dressed like this when I was twelve. I hadn’t even started my period.
It’s okay that Master Roman often treats me younger. I don’t mind. I like it actually. It keeps me on my toes. Like when he dresses me or imposes strict rules that wouldn’t be reasonable for a girl that old. Like going outside alone. Or even sitting in the hot tub.
He gets overprotective. I suppose some parents might actually be that overprotective of their young girls too. I thrive on his attentiveness. It works for me.
How long will I be able to play this role though? I’m glad that he’s letting me work four hours a day. I work hard and efficiently, blocking out my clothing for the duration. I’ll do anything it takes to keep him from hiring someone else. The thought makes my stomach hurt.
I’m getting more comfortable in this role every day. It’s scary. If he changes his mind, I might be lost out in the real world. And the longer I stay, the harder it will be to even leave the house. I’m not sure after two weeks as a child and two weeks before that as a submissive that I’m equipped to leave and behave as a grown up.
I’m nervous about that, and not sure I want to completely lose myself in this role. It would leave me vulnerable. Unprepared to function in the real world. It’s a dangerous game.
I open the book to the section about middles and start reading. I get so involved in a chapter that truly speaks to me personally that I don’t hear Master Roman come in the room. He’s standing over me before I notice him.
I lower the book.
He’s smiling. “It must be good.”
“It is, Sir. I’m learning a lot.”
“Good. I like to see you putting your mind to work. You’re a bright girl.”
I love it when he praises me. “Thank you, Sir.”
“I even have some ideas on that subject.” He holds out a hand. “For another time. Come say goodbye to Julius.”
I follow Master Roman into his office, my bare feet padding along behind him.
Julius is still seated in the same spot. “You were quiet as a mouse, Lucy. I forgot you were even in there.”
“I was coloring mostly,” I tell him as I set one foot on top of the other, fidgeting under his gaze again.
“Roman tells me you’ve got quite the playroom in there.”
“Yes.” I wrap my arm around Roman’s enormous one and half hide behind his biceps.
Julius stands, chuckling. He reaches out a hand to shake Master Roman’s. “I’ll let you two enjoy the rest of your Saturday. It’s getting late. I need to be at the club.”
I continue to hold on to Master Roman’s arm as we slowly follow Julius to the office door. “Let me know if there’s anything else you need. I’ll talk to you Monday.”
“Sounds good. See you later, Lucy.” Julius dips his head to meet my gaze.
I nod.
Master Roman extricates his arm and wraps it around me, angling us toward the loveseat situated by his bookshelves. He sighs as he plops down and pulls me onto his lap. He tucks his hand around my hip and strokes my arm with the other one. “You were a very good girl today, blossom. Thank you for not interrupting us while we worked. It went much faster that way.”
I beam.
“How about we order a pizza tonight and snuggle in the media room with a movie. Would you like that?”
I sit up straighter, my eyes going wide. “Really?” I’ve never seen the media room. I know it’s at the end of the hallway past the dining room, but I’ve never walked that far. I still don’t wander around Master Roman’s home without permission. I’ve never been anywhere on the second floor other than the distance between the back steps and my bedroom. I’ve never set foot on the winding staircase at the front of the house.
“Yes.” He chuckles. “I must be a very bad workaholic if you’re this surprised to hear that I can relax and have fun.”
He is a workaholic. I know this for sure. Though he did leave me with lots of free time last weekend, he never suggested a movie.
“Can we have popcorn?”
He laughs again. “I think that can be arranged.” He glances at his watch. “It’s already six. Do you think if I let you stay up past your bedtime you can keep from being cranky tomorrow? I won’t be inclined to let you stay up late again for a long time if I have to spend the day tomorrow with a whiny child on my hands.”
I flush. “I can do it. I promise.” I nearly bounce on his lap. “I won’t whine a bit. I’ll be really good.”
He lifts a brow. “I’ll make you a deal. We’ll eat, watch a movie, and spend some time together. But if you can’t get out of bed or you talk back to me in the morning, I will put you in timeout for so long your legs will hurt. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good.” He grabs my hips and lifts me off his lap, setting me on the floor between his legs. “Why don’t you go get your nightgown on. You’ll be ready for bed when we’re done.”
“What about my bath?” I ask. Maybe he forgot. He never lets me skip my bath.
“You can skip it this once.”
I smile, nearly bouncing on my feet. My boobs bob up and down. My shirt rises too high. I stop when I realize this and tug my T-shirt over them. My nipples are hard.
Master Roman’s gaze lowers to them. He smooths his hands up from my hips to my breasts and squeezes them in that way that always makes me wet.
“Is your pussy wet, blossom?”
He lowers a hand, nudges my legs apart, and drags his fingers over my panties. He smiles. “I like that, little blossom.” He’s done this so often to me that I should be used to it. I’m not though. It drives me just as crazy today as it did the first time he did it.
He sets me aside and rises, spinning me around to face the door. With a swat on my bottom, he says, “Go get your nightie on. Meet me in the media room.”
I scamper from the room, my jean skirt flaring up as I go. It’s not until I slow my pace in the hallway that I begin to worry about the nightgown Nancy has probably left me. Every one so far has been completely too indecent to wear out of my bedroom.
I’m nearly shaking as I enter my room and close the door. I rush to grab the pink article of clothing I see on the chair, relieved to see it’s a cotton nightgown. It’s not long, but it’s longer than many others I’ve worn. It will cover my bottom at least.
I head for the bathroom, considering the idea of leaving my panties on. I’ve never been permitted to do so before, but I’ve also never left the room in my nightgown.
As I remove my shirt and then my skirt, I chew on my bottom lip. I stand in my lime green panties for a while, thinking. Pondering. Making a list of pros and cons.
Finally, I pick up the nightgown and shrug into it. When it settles over me, I notice the front also has a mermaid on it. Today must be mermaid day.
The neckline is elastic, loose, and wide. It dips low all the way around. The sleeves are puffy with another elastic cinching them on my biceps. The hem has a ruffle, and I decide it’s at least a few inches below my bottom. No one will know I’m not wearing panties if I’m careful. It’s better to take them off and put them down the chute than risk getting in trouble and ruining what should be a fun night.
I’m still hopeful that Master Roman will let me see his penis tonight. I’ve begun to worry about this subject lately. The fact that he touches me so intimately but won’t let me even see him makes me fear that he doesn’t enjoy having sex with littles.
If that’s the case, I’m going to be very disappointed because I really really really want to have sex with him. And I’m not at all sure he’d be willing to negotiate coming out of the age play to do it.
Does he expect our life to settle into a routine where he fondles me and tickles me and makes me come but never joins? I don’t like that idea. I want to see his penis. I want to hold it. I even want to take it in my mouth. I need to find the courage to tell him.
Maybe tonight.
Chapter 40
Lucy
* * *
The pizza is delicious. I’m stuffing the second slice in my mouth while Master Roman chooses the movie. I have no idea what he picks. He says I will like it.
“Slow down before you choke, blossom. There’s plenty of pizza. Don’t make me tell you again.”
I chew slower. I even wipe my face with my napkin.
We are settled in the media room now. Master Roman has been sitting on the gigantic black leather sofa. I’ve been sitting on the floor with my legs folded under me, nervous about my naked bottom. He hasn’t mentioned it.
I finish my last slice and pick up my lemon-lime soda. It’s a luxury, both because I rarely ever bought soda before I moved in with Master Roman and because he doesn’t let me have sugary soda very often. This is only the third time. And he never offers me cola, only lemon-lime. He says the caffeine would keep me up at night.
I finish it slowly, enjoying the treat, and then I set the can on the end table.
Master Roman dims the lights and reaches for me. “Come here, blossom.”
I stand and come to him, nervous. I don’t care about the movie at all. If I had a choice, I would tell him to leave it off and take his pants off instead. We’re closed in the room. I know he locked the door because I watched him. It’s a good sign.
He pulls me between his legs, hands on my hips. “You’re having a mermaid day,” he says.
“Yes.” I giggle as I pinch the front of my nightgown and hold it away from my body. “Watch out that you don’t get swatted by her pectoral fins.” I shrug so that the left sleeve of my nightie will go back onto my shoulder. It has slid down to my arm.
He rubs my arms. “Big words. Pectoral fins,” he mimics. “Where did you learn that?”
“At school,” I respond. It’s a reasonable answer. And true. It just didn’t happen yesterday, but rather a decade ago.
“You’re good at school, aren’t you, blossom?”
I nod. Where is he going with this?
His expression changes slightly. “Have you ever thought about going to college, Lucy?” he asks. He has stepped slightly out of the role. He obviously has an agenda.
I’m curious. “No. I’ve always been too pragmatic to even buy soft drinks. It would have been stupid to dream that big.” I’m being honest.
He glances at my empty soda can on the end table. “I tend to forget you haven’t had that kind of luxury. Does it bother you that I limit you on things like that?”
I shake my head. We are definitely having a serious conversation. “No. Not really. I’m happy, Sir.” I add that last part, hoping he will let whatever is on his mind go. I’m worried I won’t get the opportunity to explore his body if we get too serious.
“I want you to be happy, Lucy. That’s the most important thing. If setting boundaries and enforcing strict rules makes you feel loved, then that’s what you will get from me.”
I shiver in his grasp, my hands hanging at my sides. “I like our arrangement, Sir.”
He smiles. “What if it could be more?”
I frown. “More how?”
“I’ve been thinking you might like to go to school.”
I lick my lips. “School?”
“College. There’s a university nearby. You could look into it. You’re so smart. You made straight A’s in high school. You’re quick and sharp and I know you’re being held back without an education.”
“I can’t afford it, Sir.”
“I can.” His expression is even more serious.
I don’t move.
He sighs. “It’s just something to think about, Lucy. I want you to have the world. I can afford it. I started thinking about it after you made me see why you need to work a few hours a day. I love having you as a middle. So much it’s frightening. I wouldn’t care if you stayed in the role 24/7 forever if it made you happy. But I worry you’re going to get restless and want more from life.”
I start to cry for some reason that’s inexplicable. He’s rocking the boat. It scares me.
He slides his hands up to my face and wipes my tears with his thumbs. “Don’t cry, blossom. I hate it when you cry.” It’s the first time he’s said that. “I’m only asking you to think about it. Think about what you want in your future. If it makes you nervous not to work, then imagine how much more empowered you would be if you had a degree?”
I try to nod slightly.
“Trust me. It’s hard for me to make this suggestion because I’m growing extremely possessive of you. If I had my way, I’d never let you leave the house. I’d never share you with anyone outside of our little bubble. But that’s not fair of me, and eventually you will resent me and feel trapped. You’d suffocate.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat.
“Does it scare me to let you leave the house without me? Hell, yes. Will I do it because it’s the right thing for you, absolutely. Granted, I’d prefer you took some online classes first, but I’ll bite my tongue if you want to go to the campus.”
I’m stuck on his irrational fear. “It scares you for me to leave the house? Why? Do you have anxiety about me getting injured or something?”
He blushes. Blushes! I’ve said something that has embarrassed him. I have no idea what.
He lowers his hand to my shoulders and pulls me closer. When he sets his forehead against mine, I nearly panic. This is important to him. Wh
atever it is. “Lucy, my greatest fear is losing you.”
“I’m not going to get hit by a car, Master Roman. I’ll be careful. I promise.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t mean losing you in an accident. I mean losing you to someone who is not me.”
I stop breathing. “You think if I go to college, I’ll meet someone my age and want to leave you?”
“Yes.”
I’m shocked. Especially because I’ve been irrationally scared that I’m the one too deeply involved. I never thought that he was just as interested in me. “I wouldn’t, Sir,” I whisper. “There is no way I’ll ever meet someone who can dominate me precisely the way you can. It’s exactly perfect for me. In every way. I know it’s only been two weeks since I moved in and became your little girl, but it’s what I feel destined to be. Yours. Not someone else’s. There isn’t a single boy on any college campus who could make me an offer better than this, and even if he could, my heart already belongs to you.”
Master Roman closes his eyes, smiling. “I’m so lucky. You make me so happy.”
I need to say more. I need to share what’s on my mind. “I have a concern though.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Do you not see me as someone you want to make love to?” I hold my breath.
He flinches, his eyes narrowing. “What gives you that idea? Of course I want to make love to you, blossom. So badly it hurts.”
“Then why haven’t you?” I’m blushing now. Heat rises up my neck and cheeks.
He stares at my chest as he responds. “Because I want you to have time. I want to ease you in slowly. I don’t want you to be rushed. I want you to savor the sexual side of our relationship so that you look back on it with the best memories. Sweet and slow and perfect.”
I’m not buying his speech, especially because he isn’t looking me in the eye as he delivers it, and his hands are rubbing my arms at an awkward pace. He’s done this before. The only other time we had a misunderstanding when he didn’t want me to work, and I put my foot down.
Raising Lucy Page 20