While My Heart Beats

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While My Heart Beats Page 4

by Erin McKenzie


  “Ladies, I am Sister Lennox, and I will be taking you to the hospital to which you’ve been assigned. I was told to expect five—where is the other volunteer?”

  Blue Eyes spoke right up, still smiling. “Miss Andrews has taken ill and couldn’t come. It’s just the four of us.” The others nodded, wide-eyed.

  “Humph.” Johanna checked her list and called the names. The last name, Miss Eleanor Winthrop, belonged to Blue Eyes, and she nodded. “Come along then—the transport should be waiting.” Before Johanna turned to walk away, she noticed Miss Winthrop’s smile falter as she exchanged glances with the others. Johanna felt a bit guilty for her brusque manner…but only a wee bit.

  * * *

  The moment Ellie laid eyes on the nurse who had come to meet them, her nervousness grew. Sister Lennox gave quite a powerful first impression. Tall, confident, and strikingly beautiful, she immediately commanded attention, like an actress on the London stage. Yet the warm welcome Ellie had hoped for was absent. Under the intense appraisal of those slate gray eyes, she suddenly felt she would be found sorely lacking, and her stomach twisted with apprehension.

  When Sister Lennox barked for them to follow, Ellie glanced at the other girls and knew they felt as she did. With a spark of determination, she shrugged and fell in behind the quickly retreating nurse. Surely the rest of the hospital staff would be glad of their arrival. She would not let one prickly nurse get the best of her.

  They stepped into the busy street beside a canvas-covered transport lorry. They were handed up into the back by the driver and sat on hard wooden benches across from each other, clutching their bags. Sister Lennox sat up front with the driver, and as they got underway, the noise of the engine afforded them the chance to talk without being overheard.

  “Golly gosh, she’s a tad unfriendly,” Daisy Chamberlain said, her round cheeks pink with indignation.

  “There were a couple like that at the convalescent home where I trained,” Mary Ingram replied. “Seems the regular nurses get a bit tetchy about the volunteers, as if we’re after their jobs or some such poppycock.”

  “Well, she could have been more welcoming is all I’m saying,” Daisy said.

  Thankful that the third girl, Margaret Ross, didn’t seem inclined to chime in, Ellie spoke up. “I imagine Sister Lennox is under a great deal of strain, but whatever the reason, I shall endeavor to stay on her good side. We’ll just do our part to represent VADs in the best possible light, right, girls?”

  The others murmured their agreement. They bounced along the rutted dirt roads to their destination, unable to see much through the flapping canvas over the tailgate. Ellie’s backside was quite tender by the time they arrived, but no matter, they were finally here. They stepped out of the vehicle to see rows and rows of long white buildings, and planks over the muddy ground made pathways between them. Nurses and orderlies rushed to and fro, and a group of convalescing soldiers whistled as the newcomers got their first look at General Hospital No. 7.

  “Look, they’re VADs,” one said. “Very Adorable Darlings, that’s what they call ’em. Hallo, ladies, I’m Tommy.” Then he grinned and swatted the shoulder of the man beside him. “But then, we’re all Tommies, eh, lads?” The soldier, who barely looked old enough to shave, thought he was very amusing as his comrades guffawed and slapped each other’s backs.

  It was good-natured joking, but Ellie felt her cheeks flame. Margaret likewise looked uncomfortable, but Daisy and Mary smiled and waved coquettishly. Ellie jumped at a loud voice beside her.

  “Ladies, you will come with me now.” Sister Lennox leveled a glare at the men, and Tommy ducked his head sheepishly.

  “Sorry, Sister,” he called.

  Ellie and the others followed her past several buildings to a cluster of small timber and canvas huts. Sister Lennox opened the door of one and motioned them inside. “These are your sleeping quarters. Choose a bed and leave your bag beneath it for now.”

  Ellie looked at the thin mattresses on their metal frames, upon each of which sat a stack of white utilitarian linens. She chose the cot closest to the door and stowed her belongings. She’d barely straightened up when Sister Lennox barked another command.

  “Look smart, ladies. You will now report to the matron.”

  Ellie smoothed her skirt and tucked a loose strand of hair beneath her cap, then followed Sister Lennox, hoping the matron was a little less formidable.

  Chapter Five

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ladies, and we’re glad you’re here.” Matron Campbell’s greeting was kind and welcoming, and Ellie took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves.

  “I’m sure you learned in your training that there is important and difficult work ahead. Miss Ross, you will be introduced to our chief laundress shortly. As for you nursing volunteers, Sister Lennox will be directly supervising your group.”

  Ellie nearly groaned aloud and could swear a smirk raced across Matron’s face. Their new taskmaster stood, stoic and unmoving, as Matron listed the rules of conduct, which covered requirements of punctuality, adherence to protocol, and avoidance of overly familiar behavior with soldiers or staff.

  “Are there any questions about these rules?”

  “No, ma’am,” they said.

  “Let me be very clear. I run a tight ship, not to be harsh, but because it is necessary to keep the hospital running smoothly. I need you at your best—therefore, you will learn from the best.” She gestured toward Sister Lennox, who had the grace to nod in acknowledgment of the praise. “Now, I’ll let you get to it, but there’s one more thing—I strongly suggest that you cut your hair shorter and keep it tucked up under your caps, due to the infestations of lice that arrive on the men.”

  Ellie felt a little ill at the thought, and the other girls gasped in dismay.

  “I’ll not sugarcoat this for you, ladies. You will see and do things here that you’ve scarcely imagined, for which your training could not prepare you. You will live and work in conditions that you’ve likely never experienced. But the care of our brave men must rise above these discomforts. It is why you are here.”

  Ellie glanced at Sister Lennox then and swore she saw the glint of challenge in her eye. She expected them to crumble, to fail, and Ellie felt a fierce resolve to prove her wrong. She would get no such satisfaction out of Eleanor Winthrop.

  Their first afternoon at the hospital entailed an introduction to the nursing staff and orderlies, a quick demonstration of their various tasks, and a thorough tour of the wards. This last brought crystal clear awareness to Ellie’s reality and purpose. The smells assaulted her first—the sharp tang of blood, the awful stink of trench foot and gangrene, the strong tar-like odor of carbolic soap. Then she focused her gaze on the patients, in various states of trauma, from simple fractures to missing limbs and ruined faces. Ellie swallowed hard, fighting back tears at the horror of it. These men, shattered in body and mind, needed them.

  “Your efficient work will help maintain order,” Sister Lennox said, brisk and direct as she laid out her expectations. “You have arrived on an unusually quiet day, but chaos can erupt quickly when the wounded come in. You are expected to provide a clean and well-stocked environment so that the doctors and nursing sisters can care for the men. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, Sister.”

  By the time she fell onto her cot that evening, Ellie had made up thirty beds with clean linens and carted the soiled linens to the laundry area, where Margaret was already hard at work, boiling soiled uniforms in a huge steaming vat. She’d swept Ward A twice, rolled and stacked several dozen bandages, and helped serve tea to a hundred men. Her feet burned and her back ached, but she felt a satisfying sense of accomplishment—she was needed and truly useful, perhaps for the first time in her life.

  Ellie fell into a steady rhythm by the end of that week and thought she was doing quite well, certainly better than Daisy, who fumbled about, sighing and moaning about her sore feet. Ellie wanted to slap the self-centered l
ittle twit—could she not see the far greater suffering around her? And yet the patients, broken and riddled with pain as they were, spoke to the volunteers with great respect and gratitude for the least bit of comfort they provided.

  Sister Lennox noticed, for Ellie had heard her speaking sternly to Daisy more than once. Ellie frequently felt her eyes on her, too, watching her work, appraising her efforts, but they’d had little conversation beyond the perfunctory good morning or simple directives. Ellie was surprised, then, when Matron sent for her in her third week for a discussion in her office.

  “Miss Winthrop, how are you getting on?” she asked.

  “Fairly well, I think, Matron,” she replied, suddenly nervous. What if I’m not doing well at all?

  “Hmm, yes, well…Sister Lennox has spoken to me about you.”

  The tiny butterflies in Ellie’s stomach exploded into a flock of starlings, wheeling and diving as she stared at Matron’s shoes.

  “Miss Winthrop.”

  Ellie raised her eyes to find Matron smiling at her. “She says you have exceeded expectations and done an excellent job thus far. I’m told you have even picked up the slack of other less…efficient volunteers. Well done.”

  “Thank you, Matron Campbell,” Ellie said, and the starlings flew away.

  “Sister Lennox also says that you have an exceptionally calm and compassionate demeanor with the patients. Therefore, I would like to increase your direct care duties. Three more volunteers are expected later this week, which will free you to assist the sisters in Wards A and B.”

  Ellie was fit to burst with excitement, but she tried to keep her voice calm. “I’m grateful for the opportunity, Matron. Thank you.”

  “No, thank you, Miss Winthrop. You will soon begin accompanying Sister Lennox on her rounds. She will let you know when. Now, I’d best let you get back to your duties. Good day to you.” Matron dismissed her with a smile.

  Ellie could feel her cheeks flush with pride as she walked back to the ward with a new spring in her step. Sister Lennox, the gruff and critical Scotswoman, liked her work and had commended her to the matron. Ellie had no idea why her opinion mattered so much, but she felt as if she’d just won a prize.

  * * *

  Johanna noticed quickly that Blue Eyes had a way about her. The wounded had been coming in thick and fast, and they could barely keep up some days, yet Winthrop never failed to offer encouragement and comfort with a word, a touch. She showed no outward distress, no matter the condition of the patient. Johanna had seen Winthrop helping Sister Claire tend to a young man who had lost both legs and part of an arm. The changing of his dressings was agony for him, but she’d laid a gentle hand on his brow, distracting him with talk of home as she calmly massaged his remaining limb. The men had begun to ask for her—Sister Sunshine, they called, where is Sister Sunshine? Though Winthrop had not earned the title of Sister, Johanna didn’t correct them, for Winthrop had become every bit as important to their care as any of the nurses.

  The leadership Johanna observed on that first day at the station had been of immense help to her. Winthrop, with far more patience than Johanna possessed, directed and instructed the other VADs, but she did so in such a kind manner, they rarely minded. Johanna hated to admit it, but she’d been wrong about the usefulness of these volunteers. They were, for the most part, a good lot, but the star of the group, hands down, was Eleanor Winthrop.

  “Sister Lennox?” The pleasant voice of her daydream jolted her back to the moment. Winthrop stood before her, face flushed and hands wringing in agitation.

  “What is it, Winthrop?”

  “The new girl, Miss Adams, has frozen stock still, refusing to assist with bathing. Apparently the thought of seeing a naked man is too much for her to bear. She just keeps saying I couldn’t, oh, I couldn’t! She won’t listen to me, and I hate to bother Matron, but we’ve got a truckload of filthy soldiers to clean up and no time for such balderdash. Do come and talk sense into her, won’t you?”

  Johanna had to stifle a smile at the flitting hands and righteous indignation of this usually imperturbable woman. Her pink cheeks and flashing blue eyes reminded Johanna, not for the first time, what a bright spot she was in this dreary place. Tamping down her mirth, Johanna agreed to come straightaway and was rewarded with a smile that enchanted her like a firefly in the darkness. She realized with some surprise that the patients weren’t the only ones enjoying their moments with Sister Sunshine.

  Chapter Six

  Late December, 1915

  Ellie had gotten precious little sleep due to the bitter cold and ineradicable vermin that plagued them all, but nevertheless, the call came to get to the wards. By the time she arrived, the place was swarming with wounded. There was the usual destruction caused by shrapnel and bullets, shock and trench foot, but she noticed a new symptom in many of the patients. Tears streamed down dirty faces and hands clawed at throats as the men gasped for air or vomited a frothy yellow substance.

  “What is it?” she asked a passing sister.

  “Poison gas,” the nurse said, her voice trembling. “Just drifted in on the wind, they say.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Did they not have enough ways to suffer?”

  Ellie thought she could no longer be shocked by anything in this damnable place. She set about removing clothing and boots, stiff with blood and stinking mud. They washed the men as best they could, changing water three or four times per man while removing weeks of grime and sweat. This simple act gave such dignity and pleasure to the men, despite their pain and distress.

  “Miss Winthrop, over here.” Ellie handed her rag off to another VAD and went immediately to Sister Lennox. She barely gave her a glance as she struggled with a man in extreme agitation. “Sing to him.”

  “What?”

  “I’ve heard you before, singing to calm them. Please, sing to him.”

  Ellie looked at the soldier, arching violently off his cot as he gasped for air. A lullaby from her childhood came to mind, and she leaned close to his ear, singing and stroking his hand. He slowly stopped fighting and lay trembling, tears streaming from his eyes.

  “Help me turn him,” Sister Lennox said, and they positioned him with his head hanging over the side of his cot. Almost immediately, he coughed up great gobs of yellow gunk, which eased him. He lay back and immediately fell into an exhausted stupor.

  “Thank you,” Sister Lennox said, the strain evident in her face. Ellie nodded, and they fell into a tandem rhythm until, by the tireless efforts of the too small staff, all the men had been tended.

  The nurses, orderlies, and VADs moved about, cleaning, feeding, and changing the dressings of hundreds of patients. Some of the more able-bodied wounded helped, God bless them, wiping down stretchers or spooning soup into the mouths of their weakened comrades. Ellie’s last task before retiring, hopefully, was to restock the bandages on the ward carts. As she entered the dispensary, a nurse stood with head bowed, leaning on the shelving as if for support. The nurse’s head shot up when she heard Ellie—it was Sister Lennox, who straightened and began tucking loose strands of her dark hair into her cap. Sister Lennox’s face was mottled and her large gray eyes shone with unshed tears. “Winthrop. You, ah, have completed your rounds, then?”

  “Yes, Sister.” Ellie was sorry to have barged in on her private moment, but concern loosened her tongue. “Are you all right?”

  “Aye, of course.” The strong, unflappable woman Ellie was used to had returned, but only for a moment. To her surprise, Sister Lennox’s shoulders slumped, and with a deep sigh, she met Ellie’s eyes. “I just…needed a minute. It’s been a trying day.”

  The absurdity of the statement struck Ellie at the same moment as it seemed to strike Sister Lennox, and they laughed aloud. Every minute of every day was trying, but by God, Sister Lennox was smiling. They were both dirty, sore, and exhausted, but that smile lit Sister Lennox’s face like a beacon in a storm. Ellie had always thought her beautiful, but standing there now, she was stunning.
<
br />   After weeks of working side by side, they had developed into an efficient team, but Ellie barely knew her mentor. There was a chink in Sister Lennox’s armor now, and Ellie threw caution to the wind.

  “Sister Lennox, what is your given name?”

  Her question was met by a look of surprise for a long moment, and then Sister Lennox answered quietly, “Johanna.”

  Perhaps it was Ellie’s exhaustion that had her feeling cheeky. She stuck out her hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Johanna. I’m Eleanor, but you can call me Ellie.”

  Stifling a grin, Johanna clasped her hand. Her work-roughened skin was warm, her touch surprisingly gentle. “I’ll do no such thing.”

  Ellie’s heart dropped into her stomach and she pulled her hand away. Bloody hell, I’ve overstepped my bounds. She let out an audible groan of embarrassment.

  “At least not while we’re on duty.”

  Johanna winked, then stepped away and out of the room. Ellie stared after her, then shook her head with a smile. After all these weeks of insanity, she might have made the unlikeliest of friends. The thought somehow chased the day’s troubles away.

  * * *

  The next morning, Ellie received a parcel from England. Ignoring the cold, she stepped outside to open it in the fresh air. Inside was a tin of biscuits, a small pot of honey, a package of butterscotch candies, a pair of warm gloves, and a note from her father.

  My Dearest Ellie,

  Your mother and I hope this arrives in time for Christmas. It’s difficult to find much in the way of sundries these days, but we managed to gather one or two of your favorites. I’m sure you could use a touch of home, especially so near the holidays. We miss you and do hope you are taking good care of yourself. Write again to your mother—you know how she worries. Theo has not yet enlisted, but I don’t know how much longer he’ll wait. He has spoken of joining the medical corps instead of infantry to appease us. We shall see. Your mother will fill you in on all the gossip from home in her next letter. May God keep you safe, my dear.

 

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