"Alright" she said with a look of disapproval "I promise"
"I'll see you tomorrow, Tiger" I said with a half-smile.
"See you tomorrow" she said and got out of the room, leaving me alone once again. Luckily for me my room had a small bookshelf so, at least I had something to do until I got sleepy. I walked to the bookshelf got the book I had started the other day, laid down on my bed and started reading. Reading was the only thing that actually relaxed me these days, it was the only way I could escape from the situation I was in, getting lost in thoughts imagining what could happen the more I read on the book, identifying myself with the characters, or at least think of myself as one. I was so immersed into the book that I didn't hear the door open, nor the light footsteps with a faint clicking of heels.
"Pride and Prejudice, who would have thought?" said Elsa reading the book's title, making me jump.
"Your Majesty!" I exclaimed jumping on my feet bowing as much as my aching back allowed me to "I-I wasn't expecting to see you! I would have made myself more presentable"
"It's okay. You're presentable enough. I'm sorry I startled you" she said in strangely kind voice. I remained quiet and watched her walk towards the armchair in front of the unlit fireplace "Please, take a seat" Elsa said motioning for the armchair in front of her. I didn't say anything, but put the bookmarker on the page I was reading, settled down the book and walked to her. As I got in front of her, our eyes met for a moment, then I sat down on the armchair in front of her, looking up at her, as she remained on her feet.
"We need to talk, Hans" she said "Honestly, without masks this time, okay?" I looked up at her and met her gaze. Her crystal blue eyes gleaming with a new emotion: an honest will to listen. It was a look who's only eyes I've ever seen it in were Skylynn's.
"Alright" I said with my voice barely above a whisper.
"I want you to speak to me" she started "I want to hear your side of the story from you" she said. It wasn't a question. It was a request, so I just did. I told her my side of the story, everything, without lying. I told her about my brothers, how they mistreated Skylynn and I, how they would bully us and beat us up, how Theodore or my parents would never do anything, how alone my sister and I were and how Milah, Skylynn's mom, my first tutor back at the palace, was the only one that would actually care about us. I told her how 'home' wasn't home at all, how I've been searching my whole life to find my own place like Skylynn and how I thought I had found it in Arendelle.
"So you had the wonderful idea to come here in Arendelle and kill me to get my crown" Elsa said looking at me crossly.
"No" I said immediately "I was telling the truth when we spoke in the dungeons. I wanted to marry you to get the crown, but while talking to Anna and hearing some chats, I understood no one was getting anywhere with you"
"How would you know that?" she answered "You didn't even try" that sentence caught me completely off guard "You were so desperate for power and a spot-light that you didn't even try. Instead you had go and try to steal my crown, fool my people, hurt my sister, leave her to die and try to kill me, proving yourself to be just a 'lying, manipulative, power-hungry, sociopath', to quote Skylynn talking to your brothers"
"I guess Sky was right… I should have been patient" I said, not daring to look at her in the eyes. Then I gathered my courage and dared to ask "If I did try, would I have had a chance?" I asked. Elsa remained quiet for a moment.
"You probably wouldn't be in this situation right now" she answered "You were right though, as much as I hate to admit it" My head snapped back up
"What?" I asked confused.
"I will eventually have to marry, but who would be crazy enough to marry the Snow Queen?" she said "I may not be a monster, but that's the way most people see me as"
"I don't" I said before I could stop myself. It was Elsa's turn to look at me shocked. I had caught her off guard and now it was too late to turn back "I don't see you as a monster, I never had" I looked down, tearing my green eyes away from her blue ones, not able to hold her gaze, feeling a knot in my stomach. "I lied to you, again" I said "I didn't mean a word of what I said about you… I don't think you're a monster, El- I mean, your Majesty, at all. I was lying. Like I was lying about the chandelier" I continued. Elsa remained silent, even when I lifted my head a bit to meet her observing eyes. I immediately lowered my gaze again and continued talking.
"When I saw you were about to kill those two other scumbags, I just… I saw you were about to do the biggest mistake of your life and… I couldn't let you do it. I couldn't let you become the monster they feared you were, the one I knew I was going to become to get what I wanted. The thought of playing hero had never actually crossed my mind, and when you turned around and looked at me… When I looked into your eyes, I saw just how scared you were and how much you feared hurting someone and were scared of yourself once again when you realized what you were doing" I looked up once again and noticed Elsa's impassive face, but her bright crystal blue eyes were a torrent of emotions. Surprise was the most visible. I had nailed it. I had read her like an open book.
"That's why I moved the crossbow… I lied again" I continued lowering my head "I was really trying to save you there" I confessed "I had seen the chandelier, but the probability that the arrow would have hit exactly where the chandelier was attached onto the ceiling without aiming were close to zero, so I moved it upwards. I bet that if I try it again, I wouldn't be able to do it once more" I said somehow managing to crack a small smile from both the queen and myself, I wasn't done though.
"In the dungeons, when you looked at me and told me you couldn't bring back summer, my plan started to falter the moment our eyes met. I knew you weren't lying; when I told you your sister hadn't returned, I saw how worried you were… and the way you begged me to let you go, I just… I realized that just like me, you too were misunderstood and treated as a villain when you weren't one bit. You didn't want to leave so you could go terrorize Arendelle, you wanted to leave to protect your kingdom by not making any further damages, all because you didn't believe in yourself, when your sister has a blind faith in you" I said. Elsa remained silent for a moment, not meeting my gaze either.
"Is this why you really were willing to kill and steal a kingdom? Not just because of your brothers" she said
"I did want to prove myself worthy to my brothers… truth is I really wanted to prove something more to myself. I wanted to prove to myself that they were wrong. That I wasn't weak, that I could be ruthless when needed, that I could be just like they wanted me to be… but by doing what I did, I only ended up proving to be weaker than they believe me to be" I confessed, running a hand through my hair, not daring to look at her as I felt that burning sensation in my stomach which I had finally understood what it was when I had that breakdown with Skylynn. It was shame… shame, guilt and remorse
"I hesitated when we were on the fjord" I continued "After those moments in the castle and the consciousness of what I was about to do, for a moment I hesitated. Don't take it as an offence but: how was I supposed to kill someone who was just like me in a way? I didn't want to, but then my stupid brothers came back to my mind and how finally I wouldn't have been looked down upon anymore and I just went for it: I had to finish what I had started. I hesitated so much that your sister had the time to run to you and put herself between you and my sword. Luckily I failed, though this is not an excuse, and now I'm facing the consequences of my foolish actions…" I said "I thought I had lost everything… that's why I wanted to die, I felt like… a waste of space. It took your words and Skylynn's to knock some sense into me. I will go through with this punishment, but I will do it for myself" another pregnant silence followed. The only sounds came from the soft wind outside, making the trees in the gardens lightly swoon.
"I saw you on the fjord" Elsa said quietly catching me off guard "And I know how you were feeling when you got imprisoned" she added. Elsa took a deep breath and met my gaze "I saw your reflection on the ice, but I didn't do anythin
g because I too thought I had lost everything. For a moment nothing mattered to me anymore, I… I wanted you to swing down that sword on me. I had frozen my kingdom, I couldn't control my powers, my people were afraid of me, they thought of me as a monster, they saw me as one, and to top it all, you told me Anna was dead. You told me that the only person I loved, the only one who still loved me after all I did to her, was dead… what reason did I have to live anymore? For a moment, I did lose everything. So… I just closed my eyes and waited for the sword" she confessed. I was the one who was shocked now, hearing her say that. Those were the last words I thought possible to come out of her mouth
"I understand very well how you felt when you got here and when you saw your sister" Elsa paused "When you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders it can be hard to let people in… to trust them… even if they want what is best for you…" she paused for a moment and her blue eyes met my green ones with an unexpected gentle look "Sometimes it feels like it's too much, doesn't it? And even if you try to shut it out, it ends up hurting people too and in the end… you can't help but feel alone" she sadly admitted. I didn't say anything, taking in her words, realizing in that moment, how similar we were. She was shut in and I was shut out, we both had caring sisters who would have gone on top of the world for us and even though the feeling was mutual, in the end, no matter how strong our bond with our sibling was, we were both alone. Elsa didn't accept herself and I wasn't accepted by others.
Elsa's tender gaze then suddenly hardened as she looked at me. Her walls immediately going back up.
"This doesn't mean that I'm going to be soft on you from now on" she said impassively "You still are a traitor, you still left my sister to die and used her, you still tried to steal my kingdom, you still tried to kill me, and you can't just walk away and forget about it, and you know something? What makes my resentment towards you worse, is that when you told me Anna was dead because of me… I actually believed you right away, like I believed in your help in the dungeons. I asked you to take care of my sister. I trusted you, Hans, like an idiot! Do you have any idea how stupid that makes me feel?!" she accused making me shrink.
"This is not something that can be forgiven so easily, especially what you did to Anna" Elsa said "So, I'll be very clear on this: you're here to pay a debt with justice and it's up to me to decide when that debt has been paid, but forgiveness is something else. If you want that too, you're going to have to work really hard to get it because Anna will be the judge of your forgiveness since she's the one whom you wronged most. So until you earn her forgiveness, you can forget about mine" she said with an angry firmness, making my guilt and remorse only grow. I looked to the floor.
"I don't blame you for being angry, I deserve it…"I said looking at the ground, then I looked up and met her gaze once again "I'm sorry"
Elsa had every right not to believe me, but I just had to tell her, I wanted her to hear me say it. There was a moment of silence, but the moment I said that and our eyes met, I knew something had changed between us, she knew that too. She wanted a conversation without masks and we had one. I was sure Elsa was going to try and let it slip and deny it all she wanted, but she too knew that for just a few moments, we had connected. What had changed was the way we were going to look at each other from now on, we were going to look at each other though different eyes, because we both knew that, apart from my sister, Elsa was going to do what no one has ever done for me: listen. In that moment realization had dawned on me: no one would listen… but her, because no one but her heard as the outcast hears.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Enjoy!
Hans's POV:
From what I found out, somehow, someone heard of what really happened and soon enough in a few days, all of Arendelle knew of the assault to its queen and of how the brave queen of Drakora saved her life. I bet that when I returned to the ice-harvesting grounds someone must have overheard my conversation with Kristoff, or Anna might have let it slip. Obviously I had been kept in the dark of all things that happened after that. Actually, because I was getting better and there was no risk of me getting another serious infection, I had been moved back to the dungeons but fortunately, I had my sister filling me in with the news.
At first, Sky gave me the cold shoulder. She hated taking credit for something she didn't was clear that she was dying to tell the royal sister that I was the one to save Elsa and not her. In the end, she spilled and told me what was going on now.
Researches to find who was responsible for the assault immediately started, but unfortunately no one found anything, the only clue was the reward sum.
One evening, while I was already in my cell trying to get some sleep, I had another visit. This time though, I was surprised to see that my sister wasn't alone as Storm came in following her. I raised an eyebrow in her direction, panicking for a moment, feeling that she might have told Storm the truth on the queen's savior. When she replied with a tiny shake of the head, I felt nothing but relief.
"Why do I get the feeling this is no pleasure visit?" I asked after greeting them. Sky and Storm shared a look.
"Your sister took a break from being Elsa's bodyguard and we had a chat" Storm started. I glanced at Skylynn who just remained silent and lightly shook her head.
"Okay… what about?" I asked unsure.
"About the assault to the queen. Skylynn told me you helped her save Elsa and after we talked, we preferred to speak about this with you" he said.
"Meaning I wanted to speak about this with you, since you were involved" Skylynn corrected. I glanced at them suspiciously.
"Since when are you two working together again?" I asked. Don't get me wrong. According to the letters Sky wrote me during the war, I knew they were a duo, but considering Storm's desertion, it was weird seeing them cooperating.
"We're not working together" Skylynn replied coldly "We only have a common interest in keeping Elsa alive" I raised my hands in defeat as Storm looked away, clearly restraining himself from replying.
"So, what's bothering you?" I asked them.
"It's that sum those goons were promised" Sky replied
"50,000 crowns right?"
"Exactly" she said "Only someone from the aristocracy or the rich middle class could afford it. In both cases, the situation is really bad. I seriously don't know which scenario would be worse" Sky paused
"If it is an aristocrat it must be one of the ex-ministers for sure, or some of them organizing a coup, and it must be related to what Elsa did during that 'famous' assembly and this could mean two things" Storm continued "It could either mean that they want to kill both Elsa and Anna and take control over Arendelle"
"Or it could mean that they want to kill just Elsa and put Anna on the throne and take over Arendelle by manipulating her taking advantage of her grieving state, which is definitely possible with a good brainwashing" Sky finished. I restrained myself from rolling my eyes at their finishing each other's sentence thing.
"As much as your theory fits, Anna is naïve, but not stupid. She will realize that is was the ministers" I replied
"Storm and I never said Anna was stupid! That's not what we meant" Sky said defensively "Look at the situation this way: if something happens to me, I am replaceable for Drakora. Angel can take my place, she had always been ready for it if it happened. But she is the Princess of Drakora, a kingdom where war has always been a threat, a kingdom of warlords where the death of a crown prince is almost ordinary; the only place where there is space for tenderness and love is your home."
"Don't I know it?" Storm mumbled, in an agreeing complaint. Skylynn made a face in agreement, before letting Storm continue for her.
"Princess Angel grew up being prepared to take the throne just like King Landon" he said "Arendelle on the other hand is peaceful, always has been and hopefully always will be. They haven't had a war since… who was it? Anna and Elsa's great-great-grandfather?"
"Something like that, and almost all the wars it had were for
self-defense" I said "Look, guys, I get your point: Anna may be smart, but she has not been prepared the same way Elsa has"
"Anna's still young and naïve" Skylynn said "She too may be a great queen, but-"
"-That's not going to happen until she grows up and matures" Storm ended "If the aristocrats kill Elsa: they could send Kristoff away, not being royalty yet, Anna would be at the aristocracy's mercy and by the time she will realize their scheme it will be too late. The damage will be done" Sky's grey eyes met Storms, confirming what he had just said.
"If the one behind this is one of the rich middle class it could mean just one thing" I said "Elsa hasn't completely been accepted by her people" Skylynn nodded in agreement
"Or maybe they disagree with some of the changes she did like that tax thing. You pay a tax depending on your profits, the more profits you have the higher the tax is, obviously respecting some limits" Storm suggested.
"No" I interrupted them "Strangely enough that's the only cause I would exclude. You wouldn't know, but the ice-harvesters are quite the gossipers. I know the law changes she made are in favor of both middle and working class. Of course, not everyone will be happy with those changes, but the great majority of the people approves. For those who don't agree with her, that would be the only thing they could hold against her, and let's face it: it's not enough to kill a ruler" I paused "The rich middle class might have not accepted her as well because of her powers. Another accidental eternal winter would be bad for business. They are still scared of her, and if they are scared of her, they will try to influence her people and-"
"-They will try to overthrow her" they interrupted in chorus "Storm and I already got to that!" Sky complained. I narrowed my eyes at them slightly irritated.
"So, if you two already got the only two possible conclusions: what the heck do you need me for?!" I said.
"Elsa put four guards under Skylynn's command and she already sent them undercover to find who attacked her and Elsa" Storm started "Elsa also gave me a few soldiers and I did the same, but we have a problem with the ice-harvesters"
Many Beauty and the Many Beast Page 29