by Stella Clark
Zack’s eyes widened. Della couldn’t explain the look on his face, but it made her heart break. “You’d leave?” he asked his sister hoarsely.
“No,” Della jumped in before she knew what she was doing. The siblings turned to look at her as though they had just remembered they weren’t alone. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she couldn’t let Ross suffer anymore. “I’m here. I can help.” She tried to give them a smile but worried because she knew it was crooked. Her birthmark was in the way. So she stopped and ducked her head. After all, this was no time to be worrying about herself with an ailing child in the next room. “If that’s all right.”
“I…”
Leah jumped in. “Yes! Della, thank you. That would be perfect. Zack, I told you. We are not leaving you alone. Look at you. You’re almost as exhausted as Ross. I keep telling you that you’re doing too much. Now is a chance for you to rest as well.”
“But…”
Though she was younger, his sister was having none of his hesitation. Della watched Leah straighten her shoulders and get to business. “We can’t have you growing sick. You’re going to bed now. I will return home to check on my family. Then I’ll return with Robert in a few hours; he’ll bring Della back to our house, and we’ll switch in the morning. Della can keep an eye on Ross during the day, and I can handle him in the evening. I think that’s best kept proper. Yes?”
Zack glanced between them uneasily. “If you think that’s best, I suppose.”
Della felt her mouth turn dry. Only now did she think of the consequences of her assistance. She would be left alone with Zack in his house. Her mother would wail. All she could wonder, however, was if he would try to talk with her at all.
But she didn’t have anything to ask or any excuses to give them, so she said nothing. After they had discussed a few more details, Leah walked out the front door which left Della alone with Zack. They glanced at each other in the hallway before hurriedly dropping their gazes.
“I should…” Zack started hesitantly as though he didn’t know where to go with it.
She nodded, not knowing what else to do. “Yes. Yes, right. I’ll be with Ross if you need anything.”
He went down to one door, and she returned to Ross’s room.
The evening passed slowly and quietly. When Leah returned to take her place, Della didn’t even see Zack. When she gathered the courage to ask Robert about him on the quiet ride back to the Ganey’s ranch, she learned that Zack had lost his first wife to influenza. Robert tried to speak positively about his brother-in-law, but Della found herself wondering about the man. She thought she would know the man in the letters she wrote, but she wasn’t so certain anymore. Zack hardly looked at her, let alone talked to her. The man was troubled, and she worried she wasn’t helping him.
***
When Della returned in the morning to take care of Ross, she was determined to focus on the boy. Ross was the one she could help. And he was the one who didn’t stare at the little nightmare trapped on her cheek. Though she ran into Zack a few times, especially as she helped prepare food in the kitchen, they had little to say. The man was restless and tired himself. She could often hear him pacing nearby.
Della again focused on Ross. Within a few days, he was recovering well enough to take a walk around the house.
She cheered loudly, clapping her hands. “Wonderful! You see, Ross? You can do anything you put your mind to. Now I think we shall have supper at the supper table. How does that sound?”
“But it’s fun eating in bed,” he said. But he had a big grin on his face as he said it.
Chuckling, she shook her head. “Nonsense. You said just yesterday how nice it would be to return out there. Now, take a seat. I’ll switch out your sheets and blankets. We’ll settle you back in bed, and I’ll fetch you when the soup is ready.”
“I like your soup,” Ross grinned. “It’s really good.” Then he glanced around the room as he fiddled with the blanket she had wrapped tightly around him. “Then… can we do something after supper?”
Della dropped her folded arms as she studied him curiously. “I suppose. It depends on what you want. What is it, Ross?”
He shyly glanced around before pointing across the room. There was a tree nearly her height in the corner. She wasn’t certain if it had been there all along for the past couple of days or if she merely hadn’t noticed it. The holidays had been far from her mind lately.
Della turned back to Ross who asked her, “Can we decorate it? Together?”
Though her eyes widened, she tried not to react. It was a simple invitation, but the way Ross phrased it made her wonder. Perhaps he was scared she wouldn’t want to. After all, usually it was the children who decorated the trees.
Della smiled. She had always loved decorating for Christmas. For the past couple of years, she had tended to that duty with the maids. “I would love to, Ross. That’s an excellent idea. How about this? You get some good rest, and I’ll find some things we can decorate the tree with.”
The boy nodded furiously. It was so fast she almost worried his head would fall off.
She chuckled and ushered the boy off to bed. Once he was under clean covers, she told him stories of New York until he fell asleep. Only then did she leave his side to tend to the kitchen while checking on him every couple of minutes.
Chapter 10
Zack tried to run his ranch, but Martin sent him back home every day.
“I have everything handled,” the older man would remind him pointedly. “It’s a slow season, and you should spend more time with your boy. You need the rest. You deserve it. Now get out of here before I drag you back.”
He returned to the house every time.
Except during the day, Della was there. She treaded so quietly that he hardly ever heard her passing or behind him. They said little to each other and any conversation focused on Ross. His son; his boy who was the only reminder of his late wife.
At night, he would dream of her. It was always the same. Ella was weak, wasted away by her illness, and reaching out to him. But he could never reach her. He hadn’t been able to save her. He had failed her.
One night after dozing in his room for a couple of blurry hours, Zack walked out into the hall to find a plate of food waiting for him on the kitchen table. His stomach growled as a reminder that he hadn’t eaten all day. He took a step towards the food only to hear laughter ring out.
He paused, wondering if he was imagining things.
Then there was a giggle. Ross’s giggle.
His heart skipped a beat in hope to hear that sound again. It had been too long. Though the boy had tried to laugh a few times in the past week, it always ended in a deep cough. But now, there was nothing. Zack ran across the room eagerly, into the front room where he found Della and Ross together.
The tree had been set up two weeks ago. Zack had taken Ross into the nearby mountains to find the right tree. They had waded through the snow for two hours before finding the right one. It was a thick tree, fairly small, but perfect for a young boy. They had put off decorating it, just like they had for the last couple of years. Especially after Ross had fallen sick, Zack worried that their trip had been what caused the illness. He had even considered getting rid of it so he wouldn’t have to look at the bitter reminder.
Now, there were bowls of ribbons and dried fruit and pinecones everywhere, along with string. Della was telling Ross a story about leeches that made him giggle. The bottom half of the tree was looking well decorated and colorful. There were candles lit around the two of them, creating a cheerful scene.
It made his heart hurt. Only a few years ago, Ross had been doing that very thing with his mother.
It was Ella’s tradition. She loved decorating the Christmas tree. The first year they were married, he had tried to help her, but he had only dropped and broken everything that he touched. She had instructed him to watch from the chair. Feeling useless, Zack would bring out his old violin and play for her.
&
nbsp; His violin. Zack wondered where that instrument had gone. He couldn’t recall the last time he had touched it. There had been one time when Ella had recently fallen ill, he recalled, where she had asked him to play for her. He had done so for hours, playing even after she had fallen asleep.
Beyond that, he couldn’t recall anything. He didn’t know what had happened to it or where it had gone.
Zack could feel an itch in his fingers, ready to pluck those strings.
But he didn’t. Because it made him think of his wife who was no longer there with him. With them. A lump formed in his throat. He tried not to feel the pain as he watched Ross with Della. Quietly, he took a step back and then another, meaning to leave them.
Then Della started to hum. “Morning stars are growing light, let’s say farewell unto the night,” she leaned down and ruffled Ross’s hair who stared at her in amazement. “And sing in joy for all is well.”
“My mother used to sing that for me,” Ross murmured. “How did you know?”
Della hummed a few more notes as Zack wondered the same question. She took her time answering before she said, “I didn’t. My cook used to sing it for me when I was scared. Now, whenever I am happy or want to be happy, I think of that lullaby.”
Ross handed her something that sparkled in the light. “Are you happy now?”
“I am,” she assured him.
“Me too,” the boy said before she could ask him.
He could hardly breathe as he heard the exchange. It took him several minutes before he mustered up the strength to turn away. Zack returned to the kitchen and quietly ate the food. Only when Ross came running in to find a glass of water did they realize he was there. He gathered the energy to help clean up the house, and then sent Ross to bed.
Zack was looking through his closet when he heard the nearby door open and close. He couldn’t hear the footsteps, so he knew it was Della. Ross must have fallen asleep, and she would be preparing to leave. He tried not to think about her as he searched. But he couldn’t find his violin and eventually walked out to find Della looking out a window.
“Is Leah coming?” He mustered the courage to talk to her.
The young woman jumped lightly, putting a hand over her heart as she turned back to him. “Oh, Zack. It’s you. I… I would assume so. Robert had to drive into town this morning, I believe, so they might have fallen behind. But they’ll be here soon.” She tried to smile. “You look better rested.”
He managed a smile as he joined her at the window. But he didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure he felt well rested. Though his panic over his son had faded, there was still a sense of unease. Zack glanced back around the room as his eyes fell on the tree. It was completely decorated now, just as it should be.
“Thank you.”
Della turned to him with her brow furrowed. “For what?”
It took all of his courage to speak. “For taking care of Ross. You have done a lot this week. A lot. And I am very grateful to you for it.” His tongue felt thick and too big for his mouth as he talked. Zack forced himself to meet her gaze. That much he could do.
Her cheeks flushed as their eyes met. “Oh. It’s all right. I’m only glad I could be of service. Ross is a wonderful boy. You - you’ve raised him well.” She spoke softly with her sweet accent. His eyes studied the blush that crept across her face.
Zack hadn’t given her a good look for a while. He wasn’t sure why.
The young woman was beautiful. Though he thought he had noticed her pretty face upon her arrival, now he wasn’t so certain. She had a sweet little nose and full lips with sparkling eyes. The birthmark didn’t change anything, not really. Della was truly beautiful.
Swallowing hard, he forced himself to look away. He didn’t want to be caught staring. Besides, he didn’t know what else to say. So he gave her a nod and left the room.
Chapter 11
“Oh, you’ll love it,” Leah assured Della as she pulled out a bonnet. “Ah, here you go. This should fit you well.”
It was a lovely bonnet with a fine trim. Though not quite as nice as something her mother would approve of, Della knew it fit well in the wild landscape of Montana. She gently ran a finger over the lace as she offered Leah a hesitant smile. “Thank you, but I’m not so certain. What if your foreman needs something?”
The Sabbath had arrived again. For the past two Sundays, there had been enough of a reason not to attend church. She had yet to explore town and though she was curious about Dawson, Della knew that people would be even more curious about her. The very idea of people staring made her stomach queasy.
But now, Leah was insisting she join them. After all, it was about time she went somewhere else between the two ranches. Now that Ross was in much better health, there weren’t any other excuses keeping her out of town. At least, not that Della could convince the woman.
“Daniel?” Leah chuckled. “Of course he won’t. He knows we are attending church. Besides, it’s his job to take care of everything. Don’t you want to join us? It’s the last sermon before Christmas this week.”
They would stare. People always stared. She was certain that even some of Leah’s family had stared before forcing themselves to look away. Her hand raised up to pull on her hair in the hopes of hiding the birthmark.
“I don’t want to cause a commotion,” Della mumbled thickly with her eyes downcast.
Leah scoffed. “Unless you trip and bring the roof down, I think you’re fine. It’s winter, dear. Everyone will be worrying about themselves. And it’s Christmas, so people are much too distracted to care if you break something. Why do you think you would cause a commotion otherwise?”
The woman had her hands on her hips with a stern expression when Della looked up. She opened her mouth to explain, but it couldn’t be more obvious. Of course Leah saw the birthmark. It couldn’t be ignored. They had spent weeks together. But, Della realized, the woman didn’t care.
Her heart thumped loudly against her ribcage as she realized how kind Leah truly was. It was a sweet enough notion of feeling seen that she could feel her eyes beginning to mist. Della turned away and put the bonnet on. She needed a moment to gather her emotions. Once the bonnet was on, she managed a smile back at Leah.
“To church?”
The other woman chuckled as she looped their arms. “To church.”
Though Leah clearly didn’t care or stare, Della noticed others studying her as they entered the small church building. She ducked her head in the hopes of not seeing everyone. But she could still feel the stares all itchy across her spine.
“Della!”
She jerked her head up to find Ross racing down the aisle to her. Her heart immediately lightened as she opened her arms to welcome him into a tight hug. The boy appeared in much better health, and he was dressed in his Sunday best. The boy looked charming, and he gripped her tight to show he had all his strength back. It made her heart glad, and she couldn’t resist kissing the top of his head.
When she glanced up, she caught sight of Zack. He was staring at them with a strange look in his eyes. A flush crept up her cheeks as she slowly let go of Ross. She hoped he didn’t mind. Ross was a darling boy, and it was impossible not to adore him. Especially after spending days together. Both of them craved something more, she realized, and they couldn’t help but to bond.
“It is so very good to see you,” she assured him but then gestured to his father. “We’re about to start, and I think you should return to your father.”
“Will I see you at family supper tonight?” he asked her hopefully.
She pinched his cheek teasingly. “Only if you can find me.”
He scampered off, and she joined Leah with her family at their usual seats. The sermon began but Della’s mind wandered. Leah and little Ross had welcomed her from the beginning in Dawson. They were kind, generous, and liked her for who she was.
Was it enough?
The doubts continued to grow, settling in a heavy pit in her stomach. Even the
hymns couldn’t help her feel better. Della worried that coming out west had been a mistake. Everyone liked her but the one person who was supposed to want her there the most.
Zack hardly talked to her and when he did, it was hardly about the two of them.
Besides, it was clear his missives had not been honest. He hadn’t told her about his late wife and sweet child. After she had been painfully honest, it hurt that he thought it was fine to lie to her like that.
It wasn’t that he was cruel. It was that she felt that she hardly existed around him. That reminded her of her parents, and that worried her. While Della didn’t want to return to New York City in the safe little prison that her parents had created, Montana wasn’t feeling like the freedom she had been looking for.
Chapter 12
Zack found his gaze continually drifting over to Della during church.
He hadn’t expected to see her. Leah had made mention that Della didn’t like going into town. It wasn’t that he was avoiding her, but it was unexpected. Even more unexpected when Ross suddenly let go of his hand to run to the young woman.
Her arms had opened immediately for his son who had practically jumped into them. She’d had to take a step back to keep her balance. When most children did such a thing, Zack wanted to smile because of the unadulterated joy he knew they were experiencing. But he hadn’t expected Ross to do that with Della. Then when she kissed Ross’s head, all he could picture was his late wife, Ella. There were so many things the two women had in common. A strong heart, kindness, and love for Ross.
Strange emotions made his chest tighten as he tried to think about what to do or even say to her.
Instead, when Ross returned to his side, they went to their seats.
Though he had wanted to give his son a mother for Christmas, Zack was only growing more anxious about the idea. He hardly knew Della and there had been too much going on. He thought of Ella and wondered what she would think. What she would do.