The room quickly empties, and I can’t help but hearing a few chuckles as the men follow orders from their president. “Never knew about the boy?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I think about Axe. “Nope. Didn’t even remember what town Sadie ran off to all those years ago. Knew it was in Texas, knew it was in the area but didn’t know the exact name of it. Dozens of little towns in that part of the state, close and in general they all look the fuckin’ same.”
“You claiming the sister?” he asks, changing the subject.
Clearing my throat, I scrub my hand over my face again and sink back in my chair a little more. “Yeah. Raised my boy as her own, sacrificed a fuck ton. She came because she loves him as her own, can’t see taking him from her, or her from him,” I explain.
Snake shakes his head a couple of times. “Don’t know you well, Keys. You’re young, she’s young. She could find someone else, you too. Don’t tether her down if you don’t want her, love her, want to build a life with her. Don’t be like fuckin’ Fish,” he says.
He makes a face like saying his name tastes bad. It probably does. Thinking someone is your friend, your brother, then finding out after years that it was all bullshit. That has to taste bitter as fuck.
“Not a punk, Snake. I’m thirty. I got a kid now. Time to settle down. Carson’s a good girl. Handed a crap life, ate shit for years. Four years she took care of my son, carrying the burden all by herself. Pissed she didn’t contact me, but I know why she didn’t. Gonna make her life a little easier now,” I shrug.
Snake’s eyes narrow and his mouth goes tight. “None of what you said makes me think you care for the girl. You sure she’s clean? She’s just a kid.”
Standing to my feet, I give him a cool look, hiding every ounce of my emotion. “She’s clean, brother. She’s nothing like her sister. She knows the score, too. Frankly, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. As soon as I get this shit with Fish sorted, I’m taking her in for her ink. I assume she’ll be protected by the Devils and treated like all the other Old Ladies, that’s what she is, you know?”
He knows I’m right. I see the resignation on his face and he gives me a curt nod. “You know she will. Ginger and the girls will take care of her, show her the ropes,” he grinds out.
It looks like his words taste like shit, and I’m sure they do. He doesn’t want to say them, and I don’t blame him. What I’m doing, the way I’m doing it doesn’t really feel right to me either, but it’s the way it’s going to happen, regardless. He thinks I’m like Fish, that I’ll treat Carson the way Fish treated his Old Lady. I’ll just have to show him that I’m nothing like the traitor.
Besides, it’s not as if I feel nothing for Carson. She’s a phenomenal lay. She’s a good mom to Axe. She’s a good woman all around, and I’m selfish—always have been. I’m keeping her for myself. I want all that she has to give, and I know it’s a fuck’ve a lot.
Lifting my chin to Snake, I start to walk toward the door. Stopping with my hand around the handle, I look back at him. “I don’t abuse women, never have. She’ll be safe with me. She’ll be cared for, and she won’t have to work her fingers to the bone anymore. She’ll have a good place to live with me, once I get all this Fish shit handled. When she’s ready, I’ll give her however many babies she wants. Just so you know, she’ll have a better life than she ever had growin’ up.”
“Lots of ways to abuse a woman, Keys. Doesn’t always include a fist or harsh words,” he points out.
I don’t say anything in response. I leave the room, instead. He’s not wrong. I’ve seen men treat women like shit my entire life. What I wouldn’t do is purposely hurt a female. What he doesn’t know is that the woman Carson is, the life she’s led, she knows the score, a hundred percent. Safety and stability mean more than flowery words of love.
Walking down the hall, I turn the corner and see her at the bar with her back to me. Her long blonde braid is now free, and her hair is wavy and hangs down her back, down to her waist. I don’t move right away, I watch her. Axe is at her side, swiveling in the chair and fidgeting like a normal bored out of his head kid.
The prospect behind the bar aims his smile toward her. I frown before a low growl works its way up my throat. “Pretty little thing, can’t get too mad at the kid,” Motorhead says, standing next to me.
Keeping my eyes on Carson, I let out a grunt. “She’s mine,” I announce.
Motorhead hums, but he doesn’t say anything. I’m sure he’s got suspicions just like Snake. I don’t care though. It’s nobody in this club’s business what I do with my woman. Leaving him where he stands, I walk over to her. Wrapping my hand around her hip, I press my lips to the side of her neck, keeping my eyes pointed on the prospect the entire time.
“Need to talk to you, Sweet Pea,” I say loud enough for the kid to hear.
I watch as his shoulders slump. He turns his back on us and goes about washing glasses and shit. Carson turns around in her seat and tips her head back to look up at me.
“I’ll be locked in my room doing some shit for the club for a few days. Soon as I’m done, I’ll come out to the trailer, you’ll be okay?”
CARSON
I WANT to ask him if he’s high. A few days? What the hell? I don’t respond though. Not here, not in this room filled with his men. The last thing I want to do is fight in front of all these people, or at all. Looking down at my fingers, which are twisted in my lap I inhale a deep breath, letting it out as I lift my gaze back up to him.
“Me and Roxie will be good,” I shrug.
Ace lifts his hand, wrapping his fingers around the side of my neck. I feel his fingers flex as he watches me. His thumb presses against my jaw, his eyes staying on mine. Something is working in his mind, something he isn’t sharing. I don’t ask him though. He wouldn’t tell me anyway.
He leans forward and I feel his lips brush my own. My heart leaps, then bangs against my chest. Every time his lips touch any part of me it feels out of this world. It shouldn’t, he’s just a man and it probably means nothing to him, but to me, to me it feels like everything.
“Houston’ll take you to the trailer. Ginger will meet you there, get you all situated,” he explains.
I watch as he reaches into his vest and brings out an envelope. It looks exactly like the one he handed the guard at the border when we crossed over. “There’s some money in here. Should be enough to get you girls set up and groceries. I’ll see you in a few days, we’ll go from there,” he explains as he presses it in my palm.
“Ace?” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “In a few days, Sweet Pea. Club shit I need to handle now. Can’t be worried about you and Axe. You got him, you got a place to stay, and you got money. Ginger knows how to get ahold of me if something happens. Won’t though, it’ll only be a couple of days,” he informs me.
There are so many questions I want to ask him, so many. I don’t get the opportunity. He leans forward, brushing his lips across mine one more time, then releases my neck. I watch as he walks over to Axe. He bends down whispering something to him, then ruffles his hair and saunters away, disappearing down a hallway.
“That was…” Roxanne starts.
“Weird as shit?” I ask, turning to look over at her.
She snorts. “I wasn’t going to say it, but yeah,” she nods.
“Ready girls?” Houston asks, suddenly appearing in front of us.
Roxanne doesn’t respond. She simply slides off of her stool and stands. I watch as she holds out the car keys to me, dropping them. I reach out and catch them before they hit the floor. Both Houston and I watch her walk out of the bar area, her ass purposely swaying with each step she takes.
“That woman is going to be the death of me,” he grunts next to me.
I tilt my head to the side, a smile playing on my lips. “She’ll make it all worth it, though,” I whisper.
Houston tips his head down, his eyes twinkling as his eyes search my face. “I know she will.” He doesn�
�t elaborate, and as much as I want him to, I don’t prod him at all. He walks away from me, and I smile as he follows Roxanne’s exact path.
“C’mon, Axe we’re going to our new house, now,” I say softly as I hold out my hand to help him off of his stool.
He lets out a heavy sigh and takes my hand before he wiggles down from the seat. “I wish my dad was coming with us,” he mutters.
“I know,” I nod, wrapping my hand around his smaller one.
I wish his dad was coming with us too, but most of all, I wish I could figure his dad out. I feel lost when I think about Ace—about the future. It makes me feel uneasy, unsettled, and scared. I’m dependent on him, just like when I was a kid and dependent on Sadie. I hate it. Every single part of it. I want to scream at Ace. I want to make demands, but I’m not in the position to do that. Which makes everything feel that much more hopeless.
Once we’re outside, and we make our way toward my car. I slide into the driver’s seat after buckling Axe in the back, looking over at Roxanne, I start the engine. She’s got her eyes directed toward Houston’s back. He lifts his hand and the bike lurches forward. I do the same with the car, following behind him.
“Are you scared?” she asks me as we follow him through the winding roads.
I gulp. “Terrified, you?”
She hums. “I’m going to start looking up cosmetology schools, but no I’m not really scared. It’s new and different, but I get a good vibe from that club, from these people, and that Snake guy,” she shrugs.
Pressing my lips together, I nod. I wish I were more like her. I wish I could say I got any kind of vibe from them. I didn’t, which could be a good thing, because that club in Montana, I got a definite bad vibe from them. Although, I don’t like Snake. He was a dick.
We pull into a dirt and gravel parking lot with a small brick building and a large neon sign on top. Cash Bar, is all that it says. It looks like a dive, a complete dive, but I try to not judge a book by the cover. We follow Houston around the back and that’s when I see the small mobile home trailer.
“Well I’ve lived a lot of places but in a trailer behind a bar is new,” Roxanne announces.
I snort. “I lived in a trailer behind a card room once,” I shrug as I shift the car into park.
Roxanne watches me, her lips tipping into a small smile. “Someday I’m going to get a rundown of your life. I have a feeling you’ve done and lived a lot that I couldn’t even imagine.”
Shaking my head, I pull the key out of the ignition. My eyes are pointed at the trailer and I’m surprised it’s as nice as it is on the outside. Especially with how plain and sketchy the bar looks. Without turning to Roxanne, I speak, “I really am boring, and this is probably the wildest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.”
Roxanne snorts. “I don’t buy it, but whatever makes you feel better. Let’s get a good look at our new place,” she calls out, opening the door and she’s standing in a matter of seconds.
Opening my car door, I stand then close it behind me. I’m excited for a long hot shower, and maybe even a soft bed.
Houston is standing by the open front door as we all make our way up the steps.
“There’s some furniture that was left here by Hayden and her kid, not much, but some. Crooner didn’t bring her bed, so there’s a mattress in the back,” he explains. “It’s two rooms, with a living room and kitchen. One bathroom,” he continues.
Roxanne spins around the room, then looks over to me. “We’re going to have to set up this house, like seriously, we’ll need everything,” she points out.
“Yeah,” I sigh.
Just thinking about setting up a house again makes me feel anxious. I’m lucky that Axe doesn’t need as much stuff as he did as a baby, but still, we’re going to need a hell of a lot. When we left Texas, we left everything but necessities. On the promise that Ace had everything under control. Now he’s gone, for days, and we’re standing in an empty trailer, that’s parked behind a bar.
Shit.
He had fucking nothing under control and now he’s abandoned us.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CARSON
HOUSTON LEFT a few minutes after he showed us around, at our urging. He didn’t look like he wanted to. In fact, he looked downright pissed off that we practically shoved him out the door. There is seriously something happening between him and Roxanne, something she is going to have to tell me sooner rather than later. Especially now that we have a semblance of privacy and aren’t surrounded by three big bikers.
I open my mouth to ask her, to demand she explain things when there’s a knock on the door. Roxanne is closer, so she hurries over, and looks through the peephole. She looks back at me, then slowly opens the door.
“Can I help you?” she asks.
The woman steps inside without so much as a word. She looks from me to Roxanne, and then back to me. “I don’t know Keys very well, so I can’t even guess which one of you he’d be attracted to and is Carson,” the woman states.
Roxie laughs, lifting her hand and points to me. “The skinny bitch is Carson, the little guy is Axe, and I’m Roxanne.”
The woman looks from me to Axe then slowly over to Roxanne again before she swings her gaze back to me. “I’m Ginger. I own the bar, and Snake’s my man. Says you girls are going to need jobs and you’re my new tenants, and hopefully new employees. Traci and Hayden are drowning over there. I refuse to hire clubwhores, and the prospects just aren’t that great,” she grimaces.
“When do we start?” I ask. “As long as we can work opposite shifts so someone is always with Axe, I don’t care when I work,” I explain.
Ginger grins, tossing her dark blonde hair over her shoulder. “Gracie, one of the other Old Ladies, she has a daycare. If you’d like to meet her, I could set it up. I won’t charge you rent because y’all are doing me a huge favor by being here when the bar is closed. Helps having extra eyes, you know. Gracie isn’t free, I mean she’s not over the top expensive, but she’s good.”
“Wow,” I breathe. I’ve never lived rent free, not ever. I tug my crop top down a bit, nervously. I don’t know what to say. “I’d like to meet her. Axe is used to daycares, he’s always gone. The diner I worked at was only open during the day, so he’s always been somewhere,” I say.
Ginger smiles, we chat about the trailer and she looks around with a frown. “I thought Hayden left more stuff here, or maybe I thought she had more. I only came over a couple times when she lived here. Anyway, you girls are going to need some furniture,” she says.
“We can collect stuff slowly,” Roxanne offers. “We’ll go to the grocery store for necessities tonight.”
Ginger nods, then her lips twitch. “You girls go to the store, I’m going to make some phone calls. See if any of the brothers have anything stored they aren’t using. A lot of them live at the clubhouse but still have shit at apartments or in storage, in case they need a breather from life,” she explains.
“Oh no, I couldn’t,” I say, reaching toward her wrist and wrapping my fingers around it to keep her from using her phone.
She grins. “You aren’t. I am. Plus, I’m the president’s Old Lady and own the place they come to drink and eat, so they’ll do it, and happily,” she winks.
“You know, I think this was a fantastic idea,” Roxanne laughs.
I turn my head to look over at her and frown. “What was?”
“Moving here, her, this, everything. I wasn’t sure, things got a little dicey there in the middle of the trip, but yeah, this was a good move we made.”
Roxanne acts like I even had a choice in this move. I didn’t. I mean, as people we always have choices, but my hands were a bit tied with this one. There was no way I was going to let Axe live all the way in Canada and then stay down in Texas. No way in hell.
“Everything’s set. Boys’ll be dropping stuff off starting tomorrow. Most of them are already celebrating Houston, Baby, and Keys being home,” she says scrunching her nose. “What do
you girls need to tide you over for the night?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. We’re good. Going grocery shopping in a few, but that’s it,” I say with a shrug.
Ginger glances around and I can see that the wheels are turning around in her head, but she doesn’t say anything. “Okay. Well once you get settled, say Monday, you stop by the bar around noon? We’ll work on schedules and stuff then. I’ll also take you over to Gracie’s and introduce you two,” she smiles. “It was great meeting you,” she calls out and then she’s gone.
Looking over to Roxanne I sigh. “I’m glad you’re excited about all of this. However, I feel like this is a nightmare in the making,” I murmur.
Roxie shakes her head. “Live, sweetie. C’mon. Let’s GPS a grocery store and get us some food. Get Axe fed and buy a cheap bottle of wine to share.”
“Okay,” I sigh.
We all take turns going to the bathroom, then load a cranky Axe back into the car and head toward the grocery store. He doesn’t want to be in the car for another second, and I don’t blame him in the slightest. I feel the exact same way. Just the thought of sitting on the back of a bike makes me want to weep.
The town is small as we drive through, but I don’t mind. I’m actually relieved. I’ve never lived in a big city, and I’m not sure I want to start now. There’s something special about small towns. Maybe it’s that I’ve never felt like I had a real family, but small towns, they’re like families. Even if you’re just on the outside looking in.
People watch out for one another, even if they don’t know you, they keep an eye on their neighbors and it just makes me feel safe. I’ve never really felt safe in my own home, not until Sadie passed and it was just me and Axe. So feeling safe outside of my house walking around the streets of whatever small town I live in, always felt good.
Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh. Roxanne might be excited for this new journey, she may feel like this is some kind of grand adventure. But I don’t. In fact, all this whole thing has done is made me feel overly anxious and stressed the hell out.
Blended with Pain: Notorious Devils (Cash Bar Book 4) Page 13