Doubts started to swirl in her head, but then she saw her future stretched before her—endless balls, soirées, and Society functions she would be forever expected to attend, and then knew without a doubt that she would forever remember this moment and forever regret it if she didn’t take action.
“I want you, Sebastian Colver, and I know exactly what that means,” Livie said, feeling much more confident and certain. “I’m not asking for a future with you, something we both know is impossible. I just want tonight. Show me what it feels like to be a woman, fully. Please?”
He clenched his eyes shut, his whole body fighting a battle, it seemed. Then he inhaled sharply and opened his eyes. “Are you certain, Livie? Entirely certain? And with me of all people?”
Reaching her hand up, she stroked the side of his face. “I have never felt as attracted to anyone as I do to you, nor have I ever enjoyed a man’s company more. So, yes, Sebastian Colver, I am entirely certain I want you to show me pleasure. You and only you.”
Chapter Forty-One
Sebastian’s nostrils flared, and he jerked his head in a nod. “As you wish, my lady.” He reached around her and pulled her gown back onto her shoulders, though didn’t button it up, and then, before she could gather what he was about, he stood, cradling her in his arms, and stalked from the library.
Navigating the dimly lit hallways with stealth and speed, almost like a cat, Seb climbed the stairs with her nestled against his chest, and then a minute later he stopped in front of what was presumably his bedroom door.
“Are you certain, Livie?” There was such concern and hope warring in his expression as he held her that it completely eased her mind. She reached up and kissed him.
“Quite certain,” she whispered against his lips.
Nodding, he seemed to finally accept what she was asking of him as he opened his bedroom door and carried her over the threshold. He kicked the door shut behind them with the heel of his boot, and then carried her over to his four-poster bed.
There was still a lamp glowing softly, casting a small shimmer of light into the room; enough to still see everything, though without the harsh glare of the overhead light. It rendered the room intimate and cozy, and as Seb lay her down with such care onto his enormous mattress, Livie felt shy and pulled her dressing gown tightly across her chest.
It had just dawned on her that doing what they were about to do, he’d soon be seeing her leg without any clothes covering it, and even though not in full light, she imagined he’d still think the scar across it hideous.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, a glimmer of concern in his gaze as he obviously sensed her unease, while he lay down next to her. “We can stop if you want to.”
“No, I don’t want to stop. It’s just…” She didn’t want to tell him, but not doing so would be cowardly. She twisted onto her side to face him and took a moment to steel her courage. “I’m worried that you’ll…”
Pausing, she bit her bottom lip.
“Yes?” He seemed genuinely curious to know what was troubling her.
Livie exhaled loudly. “I’m worried you’ll find my leg hideous.”
“Just like you found my scar hideous?” he replied dryly.
“I don’t find your scar hideous.” Livie raised herself up on her elbow. “I find it rather dashing as it’s part of you.”
“Exactly. So why would I feel differently about your scar? It makes you who you are, Olivia, and you’re stronger for it.” His voice was calm and gentle. “I don’t care what your leg looks like. Hell, I wouldn’t even care if you were missing part of it. I’m attracted to you, not just your appearance, although you are bloody gorgeous. But I’m attracted to all of you, Livie, including your limp, which I’m sure has helped give you the determination to never give up and become someone who happily saves someone else over themselves as you did with my sister.”
Livie gulped. Sincerity was radiating from his normally closed-off expression. “Obviously, I saved Charlotte first. She’s the only family you have left. You need her. I couldn’t let anything happen to her.”
He was silent for a moment. “I find myself needing you, too.”
“You do?” Hope blossomed in her heart. Hope for exactly what, she wasn’t too certain of, nor did she want to examine the matter too closely either.
“I do.” He seemed surprised by his own admission. “Do you trust me enough to let me see your leg, Livie?”
She took in a steadying breath. “I do. But I want you to prepare yourself… It’s not attractive.”
“Perhaps I might be a better judge of that than you. After all, I imagine it’s come to symbolize a great many bad memories for you. May I?” he asked, glancing down toward her leg.
She pressed her lips together but slowly nodded. “Yes, go ahead.” He might as well see her leg now before they continued further. Because even though he said it wouldn’t matter, she suspected it might. After all, the only other young man to have shown an interest in her, she’d overheard joking to his friends about her leg and how he imagined it would be a hideous stump of a thing and would completely turn off any feelings of lust any man may have.
It had devastated her. And even when she’d found out the idiot had been paying attention to her only to win a bet, it still hadn’t eased the sting of his comment.
But Seb was different from those gentlemen, if that’s what those men could even be called. Seb appreciated things others did not have the capacity or forward-thinking vision to grasp.
His hand softly trailed down the skirts of her nightgown, tracing the outside thigh of her injured leg. His very touch was hypnotic, momentarily easing her concerns. She felt like closing her eyes and sighing in delight. His fingers felt ridiculously good as they glided over her leg and down to her ankle.
Slowly, he pushed the gown away from her body and began to roll up the pants leg of her drawers. Inch by agonizing inch, the material was pulled over her calf and then her knee, until it slipped beyond her thigh. Automatically, her whole body tensed. What if Sebastian was repulsed by the sight of her scar and injured leg? If she opened her eyes and saw such an expression on his face, Livie didn’t think she’d be able to bear it.
“You are beautiful, Livie. Absolutely beautiful.” His voice was a rough murmur, and there was such a ring of wonder and truth in his tone that she actually started to believe him. Gradually, she peeked her eyes open, to instantly meet the steel gray of his own staring at her with such sincerity that happiness bloomed inside her.
“You don’t find it ghastly?” She glanced down at the jagged scar running from her knee up to her hip, long since accepting its ugliness and wondering how he didn’t seem to think the same.
“Not even in the slightest.” His words were no-nonsense. “In all honesty, I’m in awe.”
“Awe?”
“Yes.” He cupped her face with his hand. “It’s a mark of courage.” Very lightly, he pressed his lips to hers, and just as she was hungering for more, he pulled back. “Going through something like that must have been agony for you. Especially in the months it would have taken to heal. It shows the strength that is within you.” There was pride in his words, and then she felt the fingers of his other hand brushing gently across the line of her scar as light as a feather, just as she had done to his scar.
Livie nearly bolted from the bed when he bent down and his lips replaced his fingers and slowly he began to trace kisses along her knee, trailing oh so slowly up her leg, ensuring not even a bit of the knotted flesh was excluded from his tender ministrations.
Oh, good Lord. The feeling as his lips inched higher and higher up her leg was wickedly sensual. She found herself squirming, the core of her body begging to be touched by him. He seemed to know what her body was asking for.
Gently, he reached up and tugged at the string along the waist of her drawers. Livie inhaled sharply as his fingers slipped unde
r the waistband and began to inch the fabric down over her waist. She wiggled her hips and Seb slowly, tantalizingly, pulled the cotton down over her thighs and then past her ankles, until she was completely bared to his gaze.
Embarrassment flooded her, and she closed her eyes tightly.
Not even her maid had seen her so naked before, and even though he didn’t seem at all bothered by her leg and scar, she wondered if he would still think that, seeing her completely nude.
“There’s no need to be embarrassed, you’re stunning,” his breath whispered in her ear. “Feel what you do to me, Livie. Feel how I desire you.”
He took her hand and guided it between their bodies, pressing it against something hard and heavy. Her eyes opened wide, and immediately she glanced down to see her hand between the junction of his thighs.
“Oh my…” Her voice trailed off. Never had she touched a man in such an intimate place before. His manhood was so hard beneath her hand and straining against his trousers, almost like it wanted to be free. Livie found herself suddenly curious about what it looked like underneath. Of course, she’d seen marble impressions of such appendages at the art gallery, giving her a rough idea of what to expect, but in real life she imagined it was rather different.
Feeling somewhat daring, she began to unbutton his pants. Sebastian breathed in sharply as she got to the last one and pushed aside the material of his trousers. His manhood pushed more forcefully now against the looser cotton drawers he wore underneath. Livie undid the string of the last remaining barrier, and his erection sprang free; proud, bold, and heavy with desire.
She couldn’t help herself, her fingertips were drawn to it, and she stroked them along his shaft, and then her hand closed completely around it.
A low deep rumble of pleasure came from Sebastian’s chest.
He felt so smooth yet as strong as stone. She’d never seen or felt anything more amazing. And knowing he was thick and heavy because he desired her gave her such a sense of womanly delight. She wanted to know what it felt like to have him inside her.
Abruptly, Sebastian groaned and pulled himself away from her touch.
“Did I hurt you?” Livie gasped.
It seemed to take him a moment to compose himself, but he shook his head. “God, no. But if you’d kept touching me, I would not have been able to control myself and would have spilled my seed everywhere, which is not my intention at all. Tonight, I intend for us to seek pleasure together.”
The very thought of seeking pleasure together was nearly enough to make her swoon, and Livie was not one prone to swooning at all.
“Are you saying that if I’d kept touching, you would have found pleasure?” She hadn’t known such a thing was possible. Mind you, there were a lot of things about what they were doing that she hadn’t known were possible in the slightest.
“Let me show you.” Sebastian grinned and began to do exactly that as he lowered his head between her thighs. She gasped again and reflexively rocked her hips forward as his mouth closed upon her sex and his tongue began to lap against her very core, almost like he was feasting on her.
A searing heat, unlike any she’d known, traveled through her. A restless energy that needed to be released but only kept building, threatening to burst. Her breathing became hard and fast as his mouth did these wicked things to her…things she’d never contemplated imaginable.
Her fingers gripped his hair and she felt as if she was on the brink of a precipice, so close to the edge she was certain she was about to fall. It was then he swiftly raised his head, leaned over and grabbed something from the bedside drawer before rolling it onto his cock.
“What is that?” she managed to ask in between pants.
“A rubber sheath, my dear,” he answered. “But don’t worry, you’ll still experience pleasure. I promise you that.”
He then parted her legs and his manhood replaced where his mouth had been pressing against the softness of her center. And, in a very gentle manner, he slowly slid inside her.
There was some resistance, and a sharp stab of pain followed as he pushed through the barrier of her maidenhead. He held himself steady above her, sweat beading on his brow.
“Are you all right?”
Was she all right? She didn’t actually know. It felt strange to have him inside her. Strange, but oddly satisfying too. “Yes, I think so.” Though the delicious ripple of pleasure that his mouth had caused had disappeared, the feeling of having him inside her was not unpleasant.
Slowly, she rocked her hips against his and felt his phallus move within her. The pain began to recede and gradually the tingling of pleasure she’d felt when his mouth had been upon her started to return.
He gradually started to move himself inside her, carefully thrusting his hips forward and backward, beginning to plunge his cock into her very depths. Then Sebastian reached down between their bodies and his fingers began caressing her.
Her breathing quickened and her body felt like it was on fire as she began to build up to a peak, his shaft sliding in and out of her. The pleasure became uncontrollable and her hips rocked to meet him, thrust for thrust. Seb leaned down and kissed her, and Livie wrapped her arms around him as her whole body careened out of control.
Then, without warning, everything seemed to explode around her.
Wave upon blissful wave of pleasure cascaded all the way through her entire being as Sebastian pumped himself inside her, groaning before he collapsed on top of her. Livie moaned in satisfaction as a feeling of ecstasy filled her, making her totally oblivious to anything else except the pleasure she’d just experienced.
Gradually she became aware that Seb had raised his head and was staring at her with a very satisfied expression on his face.
“If that’s what being pleasured feels like, I want to be pleasured all the time,” she said, panting slightly, her body feeling as if it had just sprinted a mile.
His lips curled up at the corners. “That pleasure, my dear Livie, was called an orgasm. And I intend to give you many more tonight.”
Chapter Forty-Two
After pleasuring Livie again, just as he’d promised, Seb knew that their few hours together in this bubble of bliss would have to come to an end, and sooner rather than later, as the day was fast approaching.
He glanced down at her sleeping face and could only stare at how beautiful she was with the moonlight streaming in from the open window. She was curled up beside him with a hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth, suggesting she was having a good dream. The sight and the feel of her in his arms filled him with such a sense of contentment that for the first time in his life he actually felt at peace. A feeling he didn’t think he’d ever felt before.
Seb wanted nothing more than to preserve that very moment in his memories for the rest of his days. Because he was realistic enough to know that the night they’d just shared would probably never be repeated. And he felt like raging at the fates for being born a bastard.
If only he’d been from a respectful family he could have woken up with Lady Olivia every day. But he wasn’t; his bastard of a father had seen to that.
It was a fact Seb had to accept, and quickly, too. He knew Livie was coming to mean something to him, something important. And he couldn’t let that happen. He had too many enemies who would take advantage of such a weakness, trying to destroy him through her.
There was no way he was going to ever allow that to happen again.
Steeling his resolve and his heart, Seb reached out and turned the knob of the lamp sitting on his bedside table until its soft light illuminated the room.
He glanced back at Livie and couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment more. She was kind and sweet and had chosen to save his sister over herself. The woman was a goddamn angel as he’d thought her to be when he’d first seen her.
A woman filled with such light and goodness had no place in
his world. The darkness and the decay at the heart of the Rookeries wouldn’t be able to resist trying to drag her down and obliterate the light shining within her.
Gently, he began to shake Livie awake.
For a moment, as she blinked her eyes open and glanced around the room, she appeared slightly disoriented, until she saw him and smiled. He felt like laughing when her smile was replaced with embarrassment as she glanced down at her nakedness and her cheeks flamed red. She was probably remembering all they’d been doing to each other over the past few hours.
“You need to get back to your bed, Livie,” he stated, without any trace of emotion. Best she learn now that what they’d done, though pleasurable, meant nothing to him. Liar, a voice in his head whispered. He ignored the voice. “It will be morning soon, and if you’re found here with me, you’ll be ruined.”
Panic flared in her eyes for a moment. “Oh yes, of course.” She glanced around the room before returning her attention back to him. “Sebastian?”
“Yes?”
He had to get her out of here. Lying there, naked underneath the silk sheet, she was far too tempting for his peace of mind, and his damn cock was already starting to stir again.
God! What was it about this woman that made him lose control of himself? It had never happened before with any other woman he’d bedded, so why was Livie so different? Maybe it was because she was a duke’s daughter and part of him was taking some sort of perverse pleasure in wanting her when he understood he could never really have her.
But he knew that wasn’t the case. It was her. Pure and simple. She was like a drug in his system that he’d become addicted to before realizing he was.
And in situations like that, one had to simply go cold turkey.
The Bachelor Bargain (Secrets, Scandals, and Spies) Page 27