“...I’ll admit I’m not very good when it comes to cooking,” Rem explained regarding the extent of her own skills. “I prefer to eat meat raw.”
“Doesn’t that make your belly hurt?” Shera asked, surprised.
“A Pantherian would never get a stomach ache from eating raw meat.” Rem puffed up with pride.
“Really!?” Shera exclaimed.
Pantherians were seemingly more wild than Diablo had thought.
“I’m really good at picking berries!” Shera raised both her hands in the air.
Elves lived in abundant forests blessed by the gods, which were said to provide them with fruits and berries in times of need.
—No point in expecting any cooking skills from her, either.
A brilliant smile played over Lumachina’s lips. A girl as knowledgeable and devoted as her would no doubt be very dependable in this situation.
“Doesn’t food just appear when you pray to God?”
—Oh, right...
Lumachina was a bona fide, sheltered princess. The High Priest had just spent all her time in a sanctum. In all the adventures up to this point, they had been eating preserved food, so Diablo couldn’t tell, but...apparently Lumachina had zero skills when it came to household tasks.
“She’s more useless than I thought...” Diablo whispered under his breath.
“...Useless, indeed.”
“You’re pretty useless, aren’t you!?”
“Wha!?” Lumachina seemed uncharacteristically heartbroken.
“You can leave the cooking to me, a-yup!” Horn raised his hand in a salute.
“Oh?”
He seemed surprisingly dependable for once. But given everything that happened, Rem eyed him suspiciously.
“...You’re saying you’re good at cooking? Then have you ever made an herb-grilled chicken or seven-herb soup?”
“I-I haven’t, but I know how to grill stuff! Anything’s tasty once you grill it!”
“...I remember now. You did say something about roasting everything on a skewer... Rejected. Go stoke the fire or something.”
“Mmmgh,” Horn grumbled with disappointment.
“Heehee, then can I count on you to prepare the stove?” Shera asked, placing a hand on Horn’s shoulder. “Rem and I will collect those seven-herbs.”
“S-Sure thing! You can count on me!” Horn beat his own chest in a reassuring gesture.
“Hmm, what should I do, then?” Lumachina tilted her head quizzically.
“...You could pray... Or, no, you can be in charge of washing the pot and dishes.”
“All right! I will do my best!” Lumachina smiled, pleased to have gotten a role. “I shall go gather some water, OK?”
Even though Lumachina’s life was on the line, Rem and Shera were still very assertive.
“...Let’s go, then, Diablo,” Rem said.
“Huh?” He uttered in his natural voice without noticing.
Looking at the girls as they had talked, he reverted back to his “my classmates are all caught up in their discussion and I can’t find a way to get involved” mode.
Old habits certainly died hard...
“R-Right, you may speak.” Diablo corrected himself, this time in a tone more worthy of a Demon Lord.
Rem tilted her head, puzzled, but carried on regardless.
“We do not know what the seven herbs look like. You will have to tell us which ones are right, and we shall pick those.”
“That is fine.”
He had only ever seen them as icons and graphics, so he wasn’t sure he could recognize them growing in a forest. While he didn’t have much confidence, he still had to try.
In Cross Reverie, Diablo had never acquired the 《Chef》 subclass. He couldn’t expect to pull the same sort of impressive stunts he did when combining items for potions. Plus, his real self was the type who would probably say, “Cooking? I can heat up a TV dinner, where’s the microwave?”
—Work, memory, work! I gotta remember what those items looked like!
You couldn’t usually find them all in the same place, but this forest should have had all seven herbs in it.
Between tufts of suspicious red and blue plants, they were able to find a green herb.
“That’s one of them, a Shepherd’s Purse. Or wait, maybe it’s a Nipplewort? Either way, that’s one of the seven herbs.”
“Understood.” Rem picked the thick leaves from the ground.
“Look, look, Diablo! I found some basil!”
“Good.”
He had never actually seen it before, but in the game it was just described as a “fresh herb.” They would need it to make the requested “succulent herb-grilled chicken.”
When he made the dungeon, he set it so the ingredient gathering would be easy. Thanks to that, finding all the herbs they needed was simple enough.
“...That should do for the seven herbs,” Rem said, counting the herbs they had collected. “We just need to get the chicken meat now.”
“What should we do?” Shera asked.
“...How about you donate your Summon?”
“Y-You can’t eat my 《Turkey Shot》!”
“...I was only joking. If we were to try cooking it, it would just turn back into a cryst—ah! Shera, look at that!”
The moment Rem pointed her finger, Shera’s bow was already drawn and nocked. They had spotted a plump, round chicken between the vegetation; one that fat could definitely produce enough meat for a small group.
But there was a problem...
“Don’t, you’ll petrify it!” Diablo called out.
“Right!”
Shera’s jet black bow was enchanted by the Demon Lord Krebskulm, and would inflict 《Petrification》 on any target it damaged. The duration of the effect was unknown.
Shera shot an arrow.
—If she hits the chicken and it turns to stone, wouldn’t it all be pointless!?
Or so Diablo thought—Shera’s arrow struck a branch that was directly above the chicken, making it fall down. The petrified branch crashed on the chicken’s head, and with a high pitched “Squawk!!!”, the bird lost consciousness.
Rem sighed. “Well done.”
“I did it!”
“...Truly the work of a high-level Archer.”
“I’m a Summoner!” Shera sulked, her lips forming a grumpy, horizontal line.
But even Diablo had to acknowledge she was a superb Archer, one that would make for a reliable rearguard attacker.
Rem began skillfully skinning the chicken, and after cutting it to pieces, stuck a fork in it.
“What are you doing?” Shera asked with a tilt of the head.
“...This should make the meat softer. The crab ordered a ‘succulent’ chicken, after all.”
“Oh, I see, I see.”
“...Personally I think it’s tasty as is...speaking from personal preference,” Rem said, picking up the meat with a hint of disappointment.
Diablo rubbed salt and pepper on both sides of the meat. He figured making it salty would go over well, given how much they had sweat earlier.
The Grand Cancer had ordered the food, but they decided to make some for themselves, too. Unlike the game, in this world you could go hungry, and wouldn’t be able to move without food.
He smeared the herbs Shera had found into the skin, and pressed them in with his hands. The skin had been cut so he could stuff the chicken easily.
“You’re familiar with cooking, Diablo?” Rem asked, visibly impressed.
“I read about it in a mang—uhhh, i-it’s because I’m a Demon Lord! Obviously!”
“I...see... You’re very knowledgeable about many things. I wish I could broaden my horizons like that, as well.”
It just so happened to be a dish that had appeared in a manga he was reading around the time he made the dungeon. Regardless, it was still the first time he had actually made it.
Frying it in the pan was the hard part.
Twigs stoked the fire below
the stove that Horn had prepared, and the fire wasn’t as stable as what you’d get from a gas burner.
They started by roasting the side garnished with the herbs, making sure to lift it every once in a while so it wouldn’t burn. If the fire was too strong, it would burn the food, and the heat wouldn’t make it all the way into the meat. But if they kept the fire too low, it would take much longer to cook and the meat would go hard. Making sure the heat reached the frying pan in just the right way was hard work.
Having fried the skin side, they flipped the meat to fry the other side, as well. The scent of herbs filled their nostrils, and they could even see Horn’s mouth watering over how tasty it looked.
“Amazing! This is great!”
“How’s the soup coming?”
Lumachina was just about to take a sip to test it. “The seasoning is perfect. I think a fish bouillon would be tastier, but still.”
“If it’s ready, then that’s good enough.”
They laid down the plates. After Lumachina gave thanks to God for the meal, it was time to eat.
“It’s so gooood!!!” Horn cried out in joy.
“It really is delicious,” Lumachina said, elegantly cutting the herb-grilled chicken and carrying it to her mouth in small, neat pieces. Her expression brightened with every bite she took.
“...Just calling this a delicacy wouldn’t do it justice.” Rem was munching on her own medium-rare portion, without cutting it into pieces.
“It’s super yummy! I think this is the yummiest meat I’ve ever had!” Even Shera, who preferred vegetables to meat, was praising it.
Diablo took a bite. The scent of the herbs and the meat’s juiciness were impeccable. The chicken meat filled his mouth with a delicious flavor as he chewed it.
“Good...”
Feigning calmness, he whispered this one word, but in his mind, he was applauding.
—Hm. We just made it for the first time, but I feel like next time we can make it even better. If we make it under a stove with a stable fire, we could fry it more easily and make it more fragrant.
There was no status screen in this world, but if this was like Cross Reverie, would Diablo have gotten to level 1 in the Chef subclass? It certainly felt like he did.
“Compared to the herb-grilled chicken, the soup would probably be disappointing,” Lumachina said, a bit dejectedly.
“Ahaha, it’s still tasty, but yeah,” Shera agreed.
Lumachina had no skill in cooking whatsoever, but despite having lived in luxury until now, she was a good judge of flavor.
“The seven herbs and the seasoning are just right, but...there is something missing. I guess a meat or fish bouillon really would be tastier... Soup is just no match for it.”
“I think it could use some tender garnish to it?” Shera was also quite the connoisseur, oddly enough, given how much of a glutton she was.
Diablo tasted the soup as well. “Hm...? It’s not bad, but it’s missing a little...flavor.”
“But if you added the chicken to it, its flavor would overtake the soup.”
“I think it’s tasty...?” Horn, who didn’t have much of a sense for matters involving taste, didn’t seem to mind.
Rem, with her sensitive cat tongue, blew on the soup to cool it down.
—That missing...flavor...
“Offer me tribute, puny ones!”
The Grand Crab cried out again, still stationed before the gate.
That’s right, they had forgotten the crab was the one that ordered the food.
“That missing flavor...” Diablo whispered under his breath.
Ten minutes later—
“My, how delicious! I cannot say I have ever had soup this good!” Lumachina exclaimed happily.
“It’s so yummy! Isn’t this great!?” Shera looked pleased, too.
“S’amazing!” Horn was shedding tears of gratitude and joy. “My cheeks won’t stop shaking... So this is what it’s like when something’s so tasty it melts in your mouth!”
“...Tastee...” Rem slurred, apparently regressing back to an infant.
“Yes, it is as I thought—nothing beats crab stew!”
†
Three days since entering the dungeon—
Diablo’s group had reached the ninth level, which had a “Caution Overhead” in the entrance.
In the game, a player could get through the whole thirteen floors in an hour and a half. Here, on top of getting through each level, descending the staircases also cost them precious time on top of traversing through each individual level.
And by now, the seventh mark had surfaced on Lumachina’s body; only two remained.
There were no puzzles on the thirteenth floor, so only four levels remained. By Diablo’s calculations, they should be able to finish the dungeon within the day.
“...I think I can hear the sound of a river.” Rem’s feline ears twitched. “A big one, at that.”
“It smells like there’s water nearby, doesn’t it?” Shera said, sniffing the air.
Diablo nodded. “To get through this level, we’ll have to travel across a narrow path on the cliffside. Flying monsters will attack us as we go.”
The idea was that adventurers wouldn’t expect flying monsters in a dungeon and would be ill-prepared to deal with them, resulting in a grueling battle. But that shouldn’t be an issue with this party. Diablo alone had enough firepower to take out airborne enemies, and Shera could use her bow. Even if they were to take some damage, Lumachina was there to heal them, as well.
They once again assumed the formation of Diablo, Rem, Lumachina, Horn, Shera. That way, the two anti-air fighters were in the front and rear of the row, defending the middle.
“Watch your step,” Diablo warned the group.
A muddy stream surged violently below the cliff, the roaring of the water echoing in their ears. In the game, falling into the water and getting swept away would just take you back to the start of the first floor, but Diablo was well aware of how ruthless this world could be when it came to matters of distance. If they were to fall in with armor on, there was a good chance they would drown to death.
“You should be especially cautious, Horn.”
“You got it, Boss!”
Just as Diablo had designed it, there was a road wide enough for only one person to walk on along the cliff; and despite there being a cliff, it was still inside the dungeon. The mountain was within a spacious hollow, the narrow path running against the wall, with a deposit of underground water running beneath the cavern.
As they began crossing, the flying monsters soared their way, having spotted them.
“Whoa, they’re coming!” Shera raised a small shout.
She fired an arrow; her skill was certainly considerable, and the bow was enchanted with powerful magic. Just a single graze from her arrows petrified the monsters. Shera alone could have probably handled the whole wave alone.
He’d wanted to preserve his MP, but to stay on the safe side, Diablo attacked as well. He pointed Tenma’s staff overhead.
“《Lightning Arrow》!”
A light elemental spell that fired shining bullets, it was the higher-ranked version of 《Beat Arrow》. The arrows penetrated their targets easily.
The assaulting monsters strength and attack patterns were just as he had remembered setting them. Everything was going smoothly...
..or, it should have.
A winged snake, a monster Diablo had never seen before, swept down on them from above.
—Wait, no... I remember this monster. Isn’t this a Summon!?
Indeed, it was a Summon called 《Flying Worm》.
“Diablo! There’s a Summoner on this floor!” Rem cried out.
“So it seems!”
If they defeated the summoner, the summon would disappear. But even then, they couldn’t ignore the one right in front of them.
Diablo pointed Tenma’s staff at the beast.
“Explosion!”
A puff of black smoke env
eloped it. But at that moment—
A 《Trap Worm》 burst out of the narrow path, dividing the group in two.
“Get away!” Rem had noticed it at the nick of time, pushing Lumachina away.
“Kya!?” Lumachina managed to just barely stay balanced.
—This Summon again!? Don’t tell me it’s the Paladin from back then!
Having escaped the worm’s attack, the party was divided by the now ruined path. On one side were Diablo and Rem, and on the other side were Lumachina, Shera, and Horn.
The opponent wouldn’t let this opportunity go.
“Ohohohohoh! I got you now!”
A man clad in azure armor appeared from the hole the worm had burrowed, his sword drawn and at the ready.
“Gewalt!?” Lumachina cried out.
He was the Paladin who tried to kill Lumachina near Faltra. To think he would chase her all the way out here!
The place he had appeared was too close to Lumachina, taking away any chance Diablo had to cast his magic. Diablo had a plethora of methods to defend himself, but no spells that would help him protect his party.
Rem, who was adept at close quarters combat, was on Diablo’s side, and Shera had only just finished shooting down the other airborne monsters.
“Die in the name of my generous reward!” Gewalt swung down his longsword at Lumachina.
“Ahhh!” Lumachina stiffened in terror.
“I won’t let you!”
Horn jumped in, pushing Lumachina aside. Had Horn tried to brandish his cheap dagger against a high level warrior like Gewalt, the Paladin would have cut him down along with his dainty weapon.
Perhaps knowing this, Horn had thrown himself against one of Gewalt’s legs. Normally, all he would have done was make the Paladin lose his balance, but they were on a narrow path, and the Trap Worm’s burrowing had rendered it to be even smaller.
“Whaaa!?” The Paladin’s leg slipped off the path. “What are you doing, you little shit!?” Gewalt thrust his sword toward Horn.
A splatter of blood flew into the cold air.
“Agh!?” A small scream escaping his lips, Horn fell down into the pit.
How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord: Volume 5 Page 8