“I’m sorry,” she mutters as she jumps to her feet and flees the kitchen before I can stop her.
“Fuck!” I yell as I hear the bathroom door slam shut and the lock slide into place. I run my hands through my hair and tug on it, trying to calm myself.
I know I need to go to her, to reassure her again, but my wolf is too worked up right now. Looking at the bathroom door for a second more, I make a decision that could push her away further, but I don’t have another choice.
“Fuck,” I say again as I walk out the backdoor and shift as I leap off the deck.
I run into the forest surrounding my cabin, and call out to my dad.
Dad, I need you.
What do you need, son?
Come to my cabin. We need to talk.
On my way.
I break the connection as I stop to take in my surroundings. I find myself at the edge of the small pond about a mile from my cabin, and I sigh. I should never have taken off like that, but I know I need to get my emotions in check before I talk to Rebecca again.
Sniffing the air and not smelling anything off, I sigh again and leap into the pond. The cool water penetrates my fur and brushes my skin, and I loose myself in the feel of it as I swim to the other side of the pond and back again several times.
After a couple dozen treks back and forth, I have a better control on my beast, and feel comfortable returning to Rebecca.
I just hope she understands why I left like I did.
Shaking the water from my fur, I head back to my cabin, back to my mate, and work out what I’m going to say to her once I’m there.
Chapter Thirteen
Rebecca
I hear the backdoor open and I turn to see Lucas filling the doorway.
“Where is Zaire?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly and wring my hands. “He left about half an hour ago, and I have no idea where he went.”
“What happened?” Lucas asks, and tears fill my eyes as I start to shake.
“We…I…” I start but can’t seem to find the words to tell him.
“A misunderstanding,” Zaire says from behind Lucas, and my head snaps toward him.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper and turn from them both. While Zaire was gone, I had gotten dressed, and now I’m glad I did.
“No, it was my fault,” Zaire says from directly behind me. “I’m so sorry I left like I did. I needed to run, to calm down, but I should never have left you.”
“I understand,” I respond, not turning to look at him. “I’m sorry.”
“Rebecca, look at me, please,” Zaire says. The concern in his voice has me turning toward him, but I don’t look up to meet his gaze. “You have nothing to apologize for. I should have come to you instead of running.”
“Does someone want to tell me what happened?” Lucas asks, and Zaire sighs.
“I lost control,” Zaire says, and I tremble. I can’t seem to stop shaking. Zaire’s fury surrounded me earlier, and it terrified me. Even knowing he’d never hurt me, I was more scared than I had ever been while living with my father.
“It’s my fault,” I say, and Zaire takes a step closer to me. “I said something that set him off.”
“What happened?” Lucas asks again and looks at Zaire. “I can smell her fear, and yours too.”
“We were talking about her life with her father, her life in her old pack,” Zaire starts. “She said she’d kill herself before she’d return to that life, and my wolf lost it.”
“Did you hit her?” Lucas asks and looks at me.
“Seriously?” Zaire shouts and I take a step back. “For fuck’s sake, dad. You know me better than that.”
“I’m just trying to understand why she’s so frightened of you,” Lucas explains.
“I would cut my hands off before I touched her in anger,” Zaire tells him and looks at me. “I love you, Rebecca. You are my mate, mine to protect, and you saying what you did nearly broke me. My wolf reacted, and instead of reining him in and talking to you, I let him have his way.”
“You were so angry,” I say quietly and look at the floor again.
“I was,” he admits, and I hear him move closer to me. “I’m still angry, but I’m not angry at you, Rebecca. I was never angry at you.”
“Don’t lie to me, Zaire,” I say and snap my head up to look at him. The broken look in his eyes nearly unravels me, but I know we need to get through this before we can move on.
“I’m not lying,” he tells me and reaches out to wipe a tear off my cheek. “I wasn’t angry at you. I was angry at your words, I was angry because you felt, even for a moment, that suicide would ever be your only option, and I was angry at your father for everything he’s ever done to you, but I was not angry at you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say and cover my face with my hands.
“Rebecca,” he breaths out and wraps his arms around me. When he buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply, I feel his love surrounding me and I relax a little in his embrace.
We stand like that for what feels like hours, before Lucas clears his throat to remind us he’s in the room.
Sighing, Zaire releases me, and looks at his dad.
“We need to talk about some things,” Zaire says and takes my hand. “Let’s go into the living room so we can be comfortable.”
“Okay,” I respond and let him pull me into the other room. When he sits, he pulls me into his lap and cradles me close while Lucas takes a seat in the chair across from us.
“I feel it’s time I step into my position as alpha,” Zaire says and Lucas grins.
“About damn time,” he responds. “When do you want to make the announcement?”
“Tomorrow morning,” Zaire answers and Lucas nods. “After the mating ritual and ceremony I want time alone with Rebecca, but we will call a pack meeting for tomorrow morning at nine, and make the announcement then. I want everyone there so they can see Rebecca beside me, and see her as the pack’s new mistress.”
“She will fill the role exceptionally,” Lucas says and smiles at me. “Are you going to move into the main house afterwards?”
“Not immediately,” Zaire answers, and I look at him. “I want some time for us before opening ourselves to the entire pack all the time. I know we’ll have a lot of visitors, but we will still have our quiet time alone at night. In the main house, we will never truly be alone.”
“I’ve always lived in the main pack house,” I say and look at the two men with me. “My feelings, my opinions, never mattered. From the time my mom was killed until I ran away, I never mattered beyond what my father could use me for.”
“Your thoughts, your feelings, your opinions- they all matter now,” Zaire says and rubs his hand down my back. “Where do you want to live after the ceremony?”
“Here,” I answer immediately. “For a while, anyway.”
“Then it’s decided,” Lucas says and rises. “I will let your mom know. She’s been working with the other women in the pack to get everything ready for the ceremony tonight. We will have everything set up so we can start the feast at eight tonight.”
“Rebecca and I have to head into town, but we will be back and at the main house by seven,” Zaire tells him and strokes a hand down my back again.
“See you both then,” Lucas responds then walks to the door. Instead of opening the door, he turns and looks at me. “You’re safe here, Rebecca, and as the pack’s new mistress, you will always be protected above all others.”
With that, he turned and walked out the door.
“What did he mean by that?”
“Unlike your old pack, women here are cherished, and protected. We do not force our females into a submissive role, but we do protect them, and our pack pups, at all costs. The mate of the alpha is held in the highest regards within the pack. She is the only female who is encouraged to fight beside her mate if necessary, but never feel you must fight beside me. I will protect you, my she-wolf.”
“I want to stand beside you,” I tell
him and kiss his bare chest. “I want to stand beside you in everything.”
“Then I will work with you on some self-defense,” he tells me as he turns me in his lap. “But first, let’s head into town and get what we need. I’m sure my mom has everything planned, but I want to be back in time to help her with the last few things.”
“What should I get to wear for tonight?” I ask, and look down at my jeans and t-shirt.
“Whatever you want to wear,” he answers. “I’m going to wear jeans and a dress shirt.”
“Then I will pick up something in town,” I tell him and smile a little. “But I want it to be a surprise for you.”
“Whatever you want, beautiful,” he says then leans forward and brushes his lips across mine. When he goes to lean back, I reach out and tangle my hand in his hair. His dark curls are like silk between my fingers, and I use them to pull him to me.
“What I want right now, is you,” I whisper then press my lips against his and rub against his growing erection.
His fingers dig into my hips, and for a second I think he’s going to push me away. When he reaches around and cups my ass in both hands, and rises to his feet, I know he wants the exact same thing I want.
“Make love to me,” I whisper against his lips and wrap my legs around his waist.
“Anything for you,” he responds and carries me to the bedroom.
As he lays me down on the bed, I know he means it.
“I love you, Rebecca,” he whispers as he undresses me slowly. “My heart, my soul, my life- they all belong to you, and I would be lost without you.”
“I am so very glad fate bright us together,” I whisper as he sinks into me. “I love you, too, Zaire.”
He starts to move, and I get lost in the sensations he sends through my body.
“Zaire!” I cry out as the tension builds in my body. Last night and this morning were amazing, but this is a slow torment I never imagined.
“Slowly, baby,” he whispers when I start to thrust beneath him.
I whimper, but he doesn’t increase the speed. He slides out then back in slowly, filling me completely before sliding out again.
He continues his slow, deep thrusts until an orgasm rips through me. I feel him straining for control and I smile.
Lifting my head, I scrape my teeth across his chest, and his rigid control snaps.
“Fuck!” He cries out as he slams into me, spilling his seed deep inside.
He rolls to his side, and pulls me to his chest.
“That was…” I start, but can’t find words to describe it.
“Yeah,” he says, breathlessly.
We lay there for a few minutes as we come down from the high our love making sent us to, and I think about everything that happened this morning. It was a morning of extreme highs and lows, but things seem to have leveled out now, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
“We should get dressed,” I mutter, and he sighs.
“Yes,” he relents after a moment. “As much as I would love to lay here holding you, and make love to you again, we have things to do that can’t wait.”
“Tonight, after the ceremony, I want to come back here and let you teach me what you like,” I say, and he inhales sharply as he looks at me.
“What do you mean?” He asks, and I narrow my eyes at him as I rise off the bed.
“You know exactly what I mean,” I say as I slowly dress. “I’ve had sex a grand total of three times. Before you, I had never let a man touch me, and I had never touched a man. I want to please you, I want to be what you need in a sexual partner, but I need you to teach me.”
“Rebecca, baby, breathe,” he says softly and takes my small hands in his large ones. “You do please me. You make me forget my own name when you touch me. You are what I need in a sexual partner, in a life partner, but I will guide you in whatever way you want. I absofuckinglutely love that I am the only one to have ever touched you, the only one to have ever tasted you, the only one to have ever pleased you. Nothing compares to how you make me feel, and nothing ever will.”
“I just don’t want to do anything you don’t like,” I tell him, and he shakes his head.
“Rebecca, as long as you’re touching me, I will like it,” he tells me. “Just thinking about your hands on my body has me hard again.”
“You’re insatiable,” I tell him and grin.
“Before you, I wasn’t,” he says and my grin fades.
“How many women have you been with?” I ask, and he inhales sharply.
“I was truly hoping you wouldn’t ask that,” he mutters, and pulls his jeans on before taking my hand. “Not as many as you probably think, but more than I care to admit.”
“Zaire, that isn’t an answer,” I tell him and try to pull my hand free. He lets my hand go, but reaches out and touches my face.
“Ten,” he tells me, and I inhale sharply. “Not counting you.”
“So, eleven,” I state and look at the floor.
“Baby, look at me please,” he says softly and I shake my head. “Okay, don’t look at me, but listen please. You are my heart and soul, Rebecca Grant. You are the only woman who has ever made me feel like I do when we’re together. You are the only woman I ever want to be with again. You are the only woman I have ever been with that makes me lose control. And you, my beautiful little she-wolf, are the only woman I have ever spilled my seed into. You’re my mate, but you’re more than that. I love you, Rebecca.”
“Are all the women you’ve been with part of the pack?” I ask softly.
“No,” he answers instantly, and I finally look up at him. “But five of them are.”
“So, I’ll have to meet them,” I mutter, and he reaches for me. When his arms surround me, I have to fight the urge to pull away and turn from him. I know I’m being unfair, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that’s come over me.
“Yes,” he answers honestly. “Baby, please don’t pull away from me because of this. None of them will do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. All of them were there for the same reason I was. We needed that release sex brings, and we used each other to get it.”
“That sounds horrible,” I mutter into his chest and he sighs again.
“It’s not, love,” he tells me and leans away a little so he can see my face. “Please don’t use my past against me.”
“I don’t know why this is bothering me like it is,” I say, and he kisses my forehead.
“Because we’re mates, and as such, the thought of me with another woman bothers you. I would be the same way had you been with someone else, especially someone I had to see on a regular basis. Just know that you are the only woman I have ever loved, and you are the only woman who has ever truly loved me.”
“I do love you, Zaire,” I tell him and shake myself. “And I will do my best not to let it bother me. Please be patient with me though. I have not lived the same kind of life the women in this pack have, and I am not the same kind of wolf they are.”
“No, you’re not, and that’s what makes you special,” he says and brushes his lips across my forehead.
“I’m sorry,” I say, and he shakes his head.
“No, don’t be,” he tells me and kisses my forehead again. “You, my love, have every right to ask these questions.”
“Maybe, but I don’t have every right to be upset about the answers,” I counter, and he smiles softly at me.
“Maybe, but it’s okay. The only way we will truly know one another is to ask the hard questions and work through the answers together. Because, as long as we’re together, we can face anything.”
“Yes we can,” I respond and grab his hand. “And right now, we have to face shopping.”
“Yes, then we have to face the entire pack.”
“I can handle it, I can handle anything, as long as I have you,” I tell him and his face lights up in a smile.
“And I, my beautiful she-wolf, can face anything with you beside me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Zaire
When Rebecca walks out of the bathroom, my breath catches in my throat. The dress she chose for tonight is not what I would have expected her to choose, but it is absolutely stunning.
It’s the same shade of silver as her eyes, strapless, and flowing. It hugs her small breasts and clings to her hips like it’s painted on. On the right side there’s a slit that goes nearly to her hip, and all I can think about it peeling it from her and revealing what’s underneath it.
“You look amazing,” I whisper as my cock jumps.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” she responds and lets her eyes drift down my body. I was going to wear jeans and a button-down shirt, but I decided to go a little dressier after she decided to wear that dress.
“This is nothing compared to you,” I tell her and look at my black slacks, and black dress shirt.
“Looks pretty amazing to me,” she comments and licks her lips.
“Keep doing that, and we will be late,” I tell her in a low voice.
“Behave,” she responds and blushes.
“Behaving badly is still behaving,” I tell her without missing a beat and she chuckles. “I’ll save that for later though.”
“We should go,” she says, catching the look in my eyes.
“Yes,” I agree, but don’t take my eyes off her as I close the distance between the two of us. Once I’m in front of her, I lean down and nip her ear gently then whisper, “Later, once we’re back here, I plan on peeling that dress from your amazing body and savoring every inch of you.”
“Zaire,” she breathes, and the scent of her arousal surrounds us both.
“Yes, Rebecca?” I ask, then nip her ear again before raising my head and taking a step back. “We will finish this later.”
“Yeah,” she says and visibly shakes herself as I take another step back.
“Rebecca,” I say, and she looks at me.
“Yeah,” she says again.
“Let’s go, my little she-wolf,” I say and grin as I take her hand.
I tug her gently out the door, and inhale deeply before pulling her to my truck.
“I’m never getting in that thing in this dress,” she tells me, finally finding her voice.
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