Jaswinder exchanged glances with Bettina and Shiro. Almost word for word what Carson had told them. Without a doubt, he had coached her. Probably threatened her.
“He told you to say that, didn’t he?” Bettina asked gently.
Angela shook her head. “No, that’s what happened.” It didn’t sound very convincing.
“Okay. Now, perhaps, you could tell us what he did to you?”
She kept her head down, and said nothing. Bettina sighed, and turned to Shiro. “You and Jaswinder stay here. I have some research to do.”
She began walking from the room when Angela’s head came up. She stared at Jaswinder, eyes wide, looking like they didn’t believe.
“Jaswinder? Jaswinder Saroya?”
Bettina turned back.
“Yes, though I married Johannes Yrden, and took his name. It’s Jaswinder Yrden, now. Do you know me?”
Angela threw back her head, and laughed. “Jaswinder damn-and-blast-her Saroya! Oh, this is too rich. Then this isn’t a pirate ship?”
Nonplussed, Jaswinder could only shake her head. Bettina rescued her.
“No, Ms Fulton, this is the Family Trading League tradeship Venture. We were on our way from African Nations to Earth when we dropped in Waypoint Earth-AN-2. We heard your lifeboat’s distress call, and rescued you. I’m Captain Bettina Yrden. Are you quite all right?”
“I guess so ... now.”
“Good. Then could you tell us at least some of what Mr. Carson did? We want to prepare charges against him.”
Angela looked at Bettina as if she were crazy. “Charges? Against Wen? Why?”
Now Bettina seemed at a loss for words. Jaswinder took over.
“We found you on the crew bed, naked and drugged, Ms Fulton.”
“Sounds right.” Her voice came out calm, which surprised Jaswinder – and probably the others, too.
“You seemed quite angry with him a few minutes ago.”
Angela appeared to darken even more, with embarrassment. “We thought we wouldn’t make it, you know?” Jaswinder nodded. Angela looked over to Shiro, and lowered her voice so he couldn’t hear. “I wanted, just once in my life, to be with a man. He wouldn’t touch me. I stripped for him, and he wouldn’t touch me. I walked around naked for two weeks, and he wouldn’t touch me. I’m not ugly, am I?”
Jaswinder exchanged glances with Bettina. Now she’d heard everything.
“No, you are a very lovely young woman. Now, why did he drug you?”
Tears came to the young woman’s eyes. “We were running out of air. I was scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I didn’t want to die gasping for breath. I didn’t want to go like that. You understand?” She waited for the two women to nod. “I asked Wen once more to sleep with me. He wouldn’t.”
She looked around, licked her lips, then took a deep breath before continuing.
Then I begged him to give me a massive dose – to put me out for good. He refused. I was going to give myself one. He wouldn’t let me. That’s what made me mad, ’cause I thought he’d let me fall into the hands of pirates. He said, ‘Where there’s life, there’s hope,’ or some such thing ... I guess he was right, hey? Anyway, he said he’d put me to sleep, and that I wouldn’t feel a thing, but he wouldn’t kill me or let me kill myself. He’s the nicest man.”
That didn’t look anything like the picture Jaswinder had of him, the hatred coming off him in waves. “That doesn’t sound like the man I met.”
“It doesn’t? But he is. The nicest man on Amalgamated 684. That’s why,” she lowered her voice again, “I wanted him to be first. But he wouldn’t. And we were going to die. Why wouldn’t he?”
Once you started her talking, she kept right on. Jaswinder thought for a moment.
“Did he, by any chance, have a partner on Amalgamated 684?”
“Yes, Lil. But he wasn’t married to her, or anything.”
“Perhaps he was grieving her loss? Perhaps he honoured her memory?”
Angela thought on that for a while. “I guess so. Maybe. He kept saying he’d lost everything. I guess I shouldn’t be so hard on him. He saved my life.”
“How so?” Bettina asked.
“I would have killed myself. He wouldn’t let me. That counts, doesn’t it?”
Jaswinder took her hand. “Yes, Angela, that counts. But I have to tell you, he didn’t seem so nice when I spoke with him.”
“He didn’t?” Then her eyes widened. “Did he know who you are?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, he hates you. Blames you for everything. That would explain it. Wouldn’t even let me say your name without adding, ‘damn and blast her’. He said if he ever got his hands on you.... But he’s good. He is.” She sat up and crossed her legs effortlessly. Jaswinder thought she’d probably be good at yoga. Speaking of which, she should do some to get her mental balance back.
“I don’t think I’ve never met him before today. What does he blame me for?”
“Everything. He said that you did something funny with hyperspace. Made ships run faster. And that you and the Yrdens kept the secret from everyone but your friends. He had already signed on with Amalgamated, and you and the League won’t hire anyone who has ever worked for a TPC – you don’t trust them.”
She stopped abruptly. She looked straight at Jaswinder, into her eyes.
“I work for a TPC ... and my father does, too. He’s an officer with Amalgamated Shipping. I guess that means you don’t trust me, either. Anyway, he says that we’ll only ever get what he calls ‘garbage runs’ because of that. I’m hungry. Can I get something to eat?”
Jaswinder burst out laughing. She looked over to Jane, who nodded. “I think we can accommodate you. Let me go talk to your doctor.”
Taking Jane aside, she asked, “Do you think she’s always this talkative?”
“My fault, I think. I gave her something to counteract the sedative. Despite his best intentions, Carson gave her a little too much. I got worried. She’ll probably be her normal self in an hour or two. She’s a very healthy young woman. I think we can release her, and take her to the cafeteria for something to eat.”
“You said earlier that you noticed something strange.”
“Bettina mentioned that Carson had abused her. But I didn’t find any signs of it. No bruises, no signs of a fight, no nothing. Given that he barely even touched her, I no longer find it strange. I’ll get her some clothes, and take her to the cafeteria.”
When Jaswinder returned, she found Bettina had left, and Shiro had stepped forward to ask her questions.
“No. Ask Wen,” she said in response to a question Jaswinder hadn’t heard.
Jaswinder raised her eyebrow.
“She won’t talk about the pirates.”
“Fair enough. Angela, your doctor, Jane Yrden, is going to rustle you up some clothes, and take you to the cafeteria for a meal. Then we’ll find you some quarters. How’s that?”
“That would be great, Ms Yrden.”
“Call me Jaswinder.” She grinned, and finished with, “damn and blast her.”
Angela rewarded her with a laugh. “What about Wen?”
“We’re on our way to release him, now. He’ll probably beat you to the cafeteria, but he’ll see you there, either way.”
* * *
“We nearly made a grave mistake, Shiro,” Jaswinder said as they walked down the hallway.
“We nearly did,” he replied, sobered. “We just let him go?”
“I can’t think of any reason to keep him there, and he’ll probably talk more readily to us if he’s not in a cell.”
“Talk to Jaswinder Damn-and-Blast-Her Saroya? We’ll see.”
They walked into the Master-at-Arms Office, then through the door to the cells. Carson came to his feet immediately.
“I figured out what you meant. I didn’t touch her.” He looked both angry and shocked.
“We know. Calm down. Ms Fulton told us everything. You have my apologies, Mr. Carson.”
<
br /> “And mine,” added Shiro.
“One thing, though. She said you hated me, and that if you ever got your hands on me...” Jaswinder cocked her head to one side. “Is that how it is?”
Carson looked flustered. “I’ve never knowingly harmed anyone, Ms Saroya. I don’t even know you. What you represent to me, well, that’s something different.”
“I guess we’re about to find out. Shiro, open the cell.”
Shiro stepped forward, slid open the cell door, and stepped back. Carson remained standing where he was.
“And now?” he asked.
“We’d like you to walk with us to the cafeteria. You’re probably hungry. Ms Fulton will meet us there. She wouldn’t talk about what happened to your ship. We’d like it if you did. But there’s no pressing hurry. After a meal, we’ll find you some quarters.”
He looked around him. “Not here?”
Jaswinder laughed. “No, Mr. Carson, not here. We have an entire passenger deck free, but I think you and Ms Fulton will probably feel more comfortable on the crew deck, with people around. If you’d prefer the passenger deck, however, feel free to say so.”
“I get my choice?” He considered it for a moment. “It doesn’t matter to me. I think you’re right about Angela, though. And I know I’d prefer it if she had quarters near other people.”
* * *
Even through the meal, with Ms Fulton present, she hadn’t accomplished much, Jaswinder reflected. They both refused to talk about what had happened, both sticking to the obviously false story about losing consciousness. Still, she had planted some seeds. Time would see how they grew.
She undressed for bed, looking at the picture magnetically attached to her night table. She wondered what Johannes thought when she hadn’t shown up.
CHAPTER 5
Venture
Tuesday 25 May
Wen Carson sat in his acceleration chair in the starboard observation lounge, and looked out the bubble to space. Forty chairs in four tiers filled the lounge. Carson sat alone. He’d come down to the passenger deck for the drop. With no passengers, the two observations lounges remained empty. Empty the way he felt inside, the way space looked outside.
Soon the ship’s public address would announce the deceleration burn, and his chair would automatically swing to look forward. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered any longer. He had lost everything.
His friends: dead in the drifting wreckage that once comprised Amalgamated 684. His possessions: scattered though space, unrecoverable. His photographs, music, and souvenirs: gone. His love: gone forever. And inside, the emptiness threatened to eat him whole.
The public address speaker came to life. “Deceleration burn in two minutes.”
And here he sat in a passenger’s chair, when he held the rank of First Pilot. On this ship, however, they had banned him from the bridge – their right. They had secrets to keep, though how he might figure out their routing from sitting as guest on the bridge, he had no idea. Perhaps they had some sort of special equipment which allowed a ship to enter hyperspace at higher velocity, or perhaps Jaswinder Damn-and-Blast-Her Saroya had figured out how to jump to an entirely new level of hyperspace.
A passenger. No, less than that. He had paid no fare, had no rights here at all. He existed merely as flotsam, picked up by a passing ship. The only thing of value he had, he must keep to himself. Information.
The engines pushed him back in his chair, though not for as long as he expected, nor as harshly as he had expected. He shrugged. A minor course change only, then, not the hefty one that 684 had made going the other way. The Yrdens had found a different route, undoubtedly faster, one that Amalgamated would pay dearly for. No wonder they kept him off the bridge.
The ship coasted through space. He turned his chair once more to look out over the stage that would host holo-vids for the passengers, out through the bubble to the emptiness beyond. No, not empty, but filled with stars. Points of light that emphasised the darkness between them. The darkness of the soul.
“Wen?”
Angela. She had tracked him down. He didn’t want to talk. Not to her, not to anyone. Why couldn’t they all just leave him alone?
“Wen, can I talk with you?”
He turned to see a doubtful expression on her dark face. So unlike Lil, who had very few doubts about anything.
“What is it, Angela?”
She took a seat beside him.
“Why can’t we tell them?” she asked.
So, that again.
“I can’t believe they are partners with the pirates. They’ve been nothing but nice to me ... to us.”
And he couldn’t fault her there. Even Jaswinder Damn-and-Blast-Her Saroya had come across as a decent human being. And that didn’t please him. He needed someone to direct his anger at. He needed her to act as she’d acted when she thought he’d taken advantage of his young companion. That Jaswinder, he could hate. He needed someone to hate.
“We don’t know that they have no ties to them,” he finally replied. “Trust me; tell them nothing. We woke up, and found ourselves adrift.”
He dared not tell her the real reason. Her life depended upon keeping the fiction alive. Their lives depended on it.
“I don’t understand. I don’t understand that, and I don’t understand why you—” She broke off as the glorious view of the stars attracted her attention. “Wow. I never saw anything like that. It’s as if the whole side of the ship isn’t there.”
She rose, walked forward, and stepped up onto the stage. Two steps further and she could look straight up at stars, straight down, and from front to rear. She had nearly a whole hemisphere in view. Her position in the crew of Amalgamated wouldn’t have afforded her a similar sight – their ships didn’t have observation lounges – though he couldn’t understand why some crewmember hadn’t broken the token regs to allow her that pleasure from the auxiliary bridge.
Carson remembered his first time in a similar position. He sat back, and allowed her to enjoy it. He remembered how he and his love of the moment – what was her name? – had looked out of a similar lounge, though one filled with passengers. They had held hands through drop, and vowed to love each other forever. He closed his eyes, but couldn’t picture her face, nor remember her name.
Would the same happen with Lil? He had no likenesses of her, now. How soon would her face start to fade, would her voice lose its distinct tones? How soon until he no longer even remembered. Twenty years since he and the now nameless young woman, both of them not much older than Angela, had pledged themselves each to the other. In another twenty years would he no longer even remember Lil’s name?
He kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to see Angela’s face. He wanted to etch Lil’s so deeply into his memory that he would never forget.
Eventually, Angela returned to the chair next to his. Soon she would speak again, and he would have to bring himself back to the present.
“Mr Carson, we must talk.”
His eyes snapped open at the voice he now knew too well. Saroya. He turned his head, and looked at her. Warm brown eyes looked back. He caught the expression of sympathy in her face, a face not so dark as Angela’s, a face once beautiful, now still striking. Her straight black hair held a few traitorous wisps of grey in their midst. However, the look of sympathy hardened him against her.
“Must we?” He used a tone that suggested that he didn’t wish to talk with her about anything.
“Yes, Mr Carson, we must. We’re now only a few days away from Earth, and you’ve not yet told us about the pirates?”
“Pirates?”
“Come now, don’t play ignorant. We heard your captain’s distress call, the one you uploaded to the platform. Surely you didn’t forget about the time-tag discrepancies?”
He froze. In his miasma of pain, he had forgotten just that. If he tried to lie his way out of this, she’d know it.
“I uploaded it, yes. After we regained consciousness, I found the record on the lif
eboat’s system. Others needed to know what the Captain reported, but we witnessed nothing.”
“You lie very well, Mr Carson,” she said, smiling. “I’d believe you, were it not for Angela. She can’t lie without giving herself away. It’s an admirable trait, really. Others will note this. Others will demand answers.”
And they would. Then Angela would die. He would have to impress upon her the necessity.
“Just leave me alone.”
“We have. For the last several days, we’ve allowed you the freedom of the ship. We’ve held open the offer of company. You’ve rebuffed every effort. I understand your—”
“You understand nothing.” Why couldn’t she just leave? He didn’t want to talk. “I’ve lost everything. What do you know about that?”
He turned his eyes back to the emptiness of space, to the bright pinpoints of light.
“More than you might think.”
Carson heard something in her voice, the flatness of an unpalatable truth. He kept his eyes on the stars, but he straightened somewhat, and listened closely.
“I had friends, students, colleagues. Then I discovered something, a hint of something. People took note, even though I had said nothing substantive. They sent others after me, to steal what I found – perhaps to kill me. Amalgamated sent killers with instructions to get me no matter the cost, no matter how long it took. I escaped to this ship by some very good fortune. Brian Richardson, now high in the ranks of your company, tried to kill me here. For years I dared not set foot on Earth, dared not talk to old friends, to family. I, too, lost everything. The Yrdens took me in. I know much of what you’re going through.”
She stopped talking, and allowed him to absorb it in his own time, not pressing. How could he hate her when she treated him so gently? Did she tell the truth? He felt she did. He hadn’t known any of this. Not a whisper of it had come through company rumour or gossip. No wonder she – and the Yrdens – didn’t want TPC people aboard their ships.
“I didn’t know,” he finally said.
“I expect not. It’s not something that Richardson would want spread around. I’ve only ever told this to one outsider: you. Only a few of the Yrdens know the whole story. You and I are alike in this. We know what it is to lose all that we hold dear. So I tell you. And I tell you this: everyone could have received what I discovered. I had thought to publish it fully, to let all share. So, although you blame me for your situation, you’ll find your own company a more logical recipient for your anger.”
Not With A Whimper: Survivors Page 5