by Mandy Magro
Slowing, she jogged to the edge and stopped, breathing deeply. A few pebbles tumbled the hundred metres to the bottom. Up here, in the serenity of the bush, she felt like the only person in the world. Being that little bit closer to the clear blue sky was just what she needed. Spreading her arms wide, she brought them above her and bent side to side at the waist. Plucking her headphones from her ears, she then leant to touch her toes, inhaling slow deep breaths as she stretched out her lower back. The air smelt that little bit fresher up here and that little bit cleaner. Exhilaration that she’d made it to the top in record time chased her irritation and concerns away, for now. Then, standing, she stretched out her quads and calf muscles. Other than the chirruping of crickets and the singsong of native birds, a mesmerising quiet blanketed the far-reaching landscape. Twisting from side to side, she continued to gaze out over her majestic surroundings. Little Heart was a beautiful place and she was blessed to call it home.
She was just about to get herself settled on an outcropping of rock, where she could feel as if she were flying while she let her legs dangle, when a deep rough voice made her almost jump out of her skin. ‘S’cuse me.’
She spun to see Joel staring at her from beneath a banyan tree, his back resting against the mammoth trunk, smug amusement in his sky-blue eyes. He pulled the twig he was chewing on from his lips. ‘You’re blocking my view,’ he drawled slowly, the cheeky smile playing on his lips enticing his dimples to deepen.
‘Oh, well, excuse me, Mr Hunter.’ She returned his wayward grin while trying to ignore the blaze of heat rushing through her at the sight of him. Hands on hips, she watched him stand and take sauntering steps towards her, the pocketknife in the sheath on his belt very familiar. She pointed to it. ‘Is that the Leatherman I gave you for your eighteenth?’
‘This little baby?’ He glanced down, patted it, his slow, sexy smile spreading. ‘Yup, sure is. It hasn’t left my side since you gave it to me.’ His voice was smooth, encompassing, like a heady concoction of whiskey and velvet on a cold winter’s night.
‘Wow, it’s so cool you still have it,’ she said, pushing flyaway wisps of hair from her face.
‘Why wouldn’t I? It’s helped me a lot along my travels,’ he said, sending her heavy heart soaring.
‘That’s great, glad to hear it’s come in handy,’ she replied. She had to admit, he looked real good in his faded jeans and well-worn boots, his button-up shirt rolled to the elbows, revealing tattoos she wasn’t familiar with. She couldn’t help but wonder if he had more ink in places she couldn’t see.
He reached her but left a good few feet between them. ‘We seriously have to stop meeting like this, or people are going to start talking,’ he said with an arch of his brows, sending her heart into even more of a skitter. ‘And you know what the whispers are like around these parts.’
Relief and comfort filled her with the sound of his voice. She hadn’t realised until that moment how much of a calming effect he had on her. ‘Yeah, true hey.’ She chuckled. ‘I’m sure they’d all love some juicy gossip to twist and turn into some elaborate story.’ She rolled her eyes skywards. ‘Lord help us if the CWA ladies get a hold of it.’
‘Uh-huh, they sure would get a buzz out of us meeting up in the middle of nowhere. It’d be the bush telegraph at its finest.’ He laughed, deep and throaty. ‘Good run up the hill?’
‘Yeah, needed to let off a bit of steam, and it always does the trick.’ She tipped her head, assessing him. ‘And what are you doing all the way up here?’
‘Just thinking about stuff.’
‘Stuff?’ she asked, intrigued.
‘Yeah, stuff,’ he repeated casually.
‘Righto then,’ she said, not wanting to pry. His gaze travelled over her, making her acutely aware of how she probably resembled a cooked lobster – all bright red and drenched in sweat – and smelt a little sweaty too. On the contrary, he smelt yummy.
Needing to do something with her hands before she gave in to her yearning desire and reached out for this mammoth of manly man, she rolled up her earphones and went to shove them into her pocket, but they dropped to the ground.
Joel promptly bent to retrieve them. She couldn’t help but watch how his sinewy muscles flexed beneath his shirt as he did, couldn’t help but admire the broadness of his shoulders, or the way his butt looked in his low-slung jeans. He was a heartthrob – had been her heartthrob, once upon a time. If she was being honest with herself, he was the memory she sometimes hungered for when she was feeling lonely, which was often these days. Not that she had anything to go off when it came to being skin to skin with him. But, far out, she wanted to.
‘Here you go.’ He passed the headphones to her, his expression turning solemn. ‘So how did it go yesterday, after I left?’
She shrugged, released a pent-up breath. ‘Not great. Lachlan’s really angry with me.’
‘I’m so sorry, Jules.’ He closed his eyes, shook his head. ‘I didn’t mean to start a shitstorm.’
‘Trust me, the shitstorm started way before you got there. Don’t apologise. We weren’t doing anything wrong.’ The words tumbled from her lips before she’d had time to think. With everything so raw, fresh tears sprang to her eyes and she quickly tried to blink them away.
Concern deepening his expression, Joel quickly closed the little bit of distance between them and rested his hand on her arm, so gently and tenderly, she almost collapsed into him and buried her head in his big broad chest. ‘Has he done something to hurt you?’ His reply was stern, protectively so.
She wiped the few tears that had fallen from her cheeks, sniffling. ‘He’s done lots of things to hurt me, but nothing physical, if that’s what you’re referring to.’ She tried to blame the lack of coffee for the fact she felt shivery and a little tongue-tied in Joel’s presence.
‘Mmhhmm.’ Joel’s gaze became darker. ‘So, what sort of things has he done to hurt you so much?’
She waited a few brief moments for her heartbeat to steady and her breathing to settle. ‘Oh, just the usual relationship stuff,’ she lied. ‘Nothing to go and worry yourself with.’
He regarded her for a few long moments. ‘You real sure about that?’
‘Yup.’ She ran nervous fingers through her mop of sweaty hair and tried to force a smile.
A muscle in his cheek twitched before he looked away and heaved an almighty sigh. ‘Come on, Jules.’ His gaze swept over her. ‘I’m one of your oldest friends, apart from my sister, so you know if you tell me anything, it wouldn’t go any further, right?’
‘Yes, clearly, because you’ve kept our secret all these years.’ A cold chill swept through her as she recalled that horrible night in sudden, blinding intensity.
‘Good. Well, just so you know, I’m all ears if you want to talk about it,’ he said as his expression softened, his eyes never leaving hers.
She felt a piece of her trip and tumble into him. Almost succumbing to his offer, she picked at her fingernails. ‘That’d just be weird, talking to my ex about my marital problems.’
‘Yeah, well.’ He sighed a laugh. ‘Don’t look at me like an ex, look at me like I’m a mate who cares about you a hell of a lot. And one who can keep a secret very close to my chest.’
Tempted to pour her heart out to the one man who had respected it, she came to her senses and shook her head. Her childhood sweetheart was the last person she should be telling her marital woes to. ‘I don’t want to talk about it right now. But thank you.’
A wave of different emotions crossed his face. ‘Righto, fair enough, but know I’m here, anytime, okay?’ He looked at her with the utmost respect in his eyes.
She smiled, nodded, sincerely grateful for their renewed friendship. ‘Thanks, Joel.’ She gestured to the magical view with a tip of her head. ‘You know what would be nice, though? Just hanging here together for a little while and catching up on the good old days.’
‘Really?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She tucked her hands into the pockets of
her running shorts, his intense gaze making her feel a little giddy. ‘If you haven’t got somewhere else you need to be, of course?’
‘Not at all. To be honest, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.’
She laughed softly, shaking her head. ‘You’re still the charmer, aren’t you?’
‘I do my best.’ Grinning, he gallantly offered her the crook of his arm. ‘Now come, sit with me on the edge of the universe and we will chat about anything that will bring a smile to that pretty face of yours.’
‘Ha ha. Like I said, always the charmer.’ She accepted his arm, hooking hers within it.
They sat side by side, swinging their legs and chatting about this and that, like they’d done all those years ago. And as they did, time stalled, rewound, paused, leaving Juliette feeling like she was a seventeen-year-old girl again, with so much love in her heart it was full to bursting, and with her whole life ahead of her – all of it made all the more exciting with Joel by her side. The sensation of that comforting thought, coupled with the upbeat memories they were reliving, brought a smile to her heart. And for a split second, when their conversation hesitated contentedly, she wished with everything she had that they could go back there, to that place, where she felt loved and safe and free. What a wonderful world it would be if it were so simple.
CHAPTER
16
A distant crack of thunder pulled Joel from his dreamy siesta. Blinking heavy eyes, he stared into what had been a bright blue sky when he’d retired Dynamite from their daily training session. Looking to his watch, he was shocked to see it was almost three in the afternoon. The appointment he’d put off twice, waiting to bring Juliette around to his way of thinking, was in less than an hour. He wanted nothing more than for her to trust him, so he could make up for leaving her to deal with this all on her own for eleven long years. He hoped that, by getting the ball rolling, she would see he had her back and would be at her side if she went to the police. If only she’d believe he had her best interests at heart. He wasn’t going to give up trying to prove that to her – she deserved his persistence, and then some.
Swinging out of the hammock, his bare feet hit the coolness of the timber floorboards of the verandah as he collected his empty cup and plate and headed back inside. A smile lingered as he returned to the contemplations that had helped him to drift off to another place – he hadn’t stopped smiling since yesterday afternoon, the few hours he and Juliette had spent atop the mountain, chatting about how life used to be, and laughing about all the wild and stupid stuff they and Zoe had gotten up to, had been a massive step forwards.
Rinsing his plate and cup, he upended both on the draining rack, pausing to gaze out his kitchen window to where the tip of a roof glimmered in the far-flung distance. Juliette lived beneath it with her conceited husband, sharing her life and her love with a man who, in Joel’s biased opinion, was not deserving of it. The very thought he’d never have a life with her by his side, nor the family they’d always dreamt about, stabbed him straight through his heart. But, despite everything, she still felt like an essential part of him. He still wanted her, ached for her. So near her yesterday, with everything and everyone else swept to the roadside, he’d watched her every move, every gesture, like she was air and he was a drowning man. He’d hoped that the time apart would’ve made it easier to forget the hold she’d always had over him. It hadn’t, frustratingly. Closing his eyes, he took a long, steadying breath. Between Juliette, his father, and seeking the justice they all deserved, this was proving to be way tougher than he’d first expected.
Wandering upstairs to his bedroom, he tugged on a fresh T-shirt and grabbed a pair of socks – the jeans he was already wearing would do. Dressed, he checked his mobile for any calls or messages. As usual, there were none. He only wanted to hear from one person – Juliette. No matter what he did to deflect his thoughts, he couldn’t get her from his mind. Maybe because, deep down, he really didn’t want to. After all, there was no harm in harbouring romantic and sensual thoughts about the woman who still possessed his heart, was there? Other than to himself. Too bad if there was because, for the life of him, he couldn’t stop picturing her sweet lips and the way they turned up at the corners to form the most radiant of smiles – one that warmed him to his very soul. He swore he could still smell the scent of her citrusy perfume upon his skin from the quick hug they’d shared when they’d realised time had gotten away. She’d snapped back to the present and raced off, back to her life, back to Lachlan. Their bubble burst, it had torn an even deeper hole in his heart, watching her disappear again after they’d just reconnected so beautifully. He huffed a weighty breath as he recalled the sensation. So help him god, if he didn’t stop thinking about her, he was going to drive himself insane.
Squishing some toothpaste onto his brush, he paced as he scrubbed. Oh, he wanted so much more than camaraderie with her, but that ship sailed a long time ago. He had to be grateful for what they could have – a good friendship – and focus on that. It plagued him, how she’d broken down and then refused to tell him why she was so torn up. His gut had twisted seeing her so fragile, so vulnerable. Lachlan was possibly living up to the Davis reputation of being cold and callous, and he guessed Juliette might be struggling to live with that side of her husband. But, as much as he wanted to, he wasn’t going to force her to tell him. If anything, he was glad he could cheer her up a little just by spending time with her.
Spitting the toothpaste into the sink, he rinsed his mouth, splashed his face with some water and then dried it on the hand towel. He wasn’t delusional. He knew there was no going back, but for that one breathless second, that one unguarded moment of silent recognition between them when she’d simply stopped speaking and stared at him the way she had, like she used to do, and her walls had crumbled, he’d caught a glimpse of the emptiness and heartache she was feeling, along with a yearning for the love and refuge they’d shared as a couple. He’d had to fight against taking her into his arms and kissing her as if there were no tomorrow, so she knew just how valuable, how loved, she was. He just prayed she could see in his eyes all that was in his heart, because that one brief moment had been all he’d had to show her such things before her dark eyes had glistened, clouded, and she’d looked away, towards the horizon.
Juliette wasn’t entirely the same person he’d fallen in love with all those years ago – she was apprehensive, defensive, guarded and broken. Exactly what had brought him and Juliette to the top of the mountain at the same time had been a force outside of them, and the bridge they’d mended by just being able to sit and talk like old friends was beyond his wildest imagination. He had to be thankful for small miracles – maybe his mother’s beliefs were right, and god did have his back after all.
After stepping out the back door, he tugged on his hat and boots, followed by his Driza-Bone, just in case the rain caught him out. In true tropical fashion, the weather had gone from bright and cheerful first thing this morning, when he’d jumped from his bed dressed only in his jocks to chase a very belligerent Red from the rafters and outside, again, to blustery this afternoon. Gazing out at the land that had stolen his heart a lifetime ago, he cleared the back steps two at a time and traipsed across the gravel drive, towards Dynamite’s paddock.
Wind teased across the paddocks, stirring the long wisps of vivid green grass into a wild dance. The horses all looked a little antsy on their feet. Thunderheads were quickly building in the smouldering western sky, and splinters of iridescent lightning transiently possessed it in lustrous flashes. He wanted to check in on Dynamite and make sure the gelding wasn’t freaked out by the imminent storm before he headed off.
Nearing the paddock, he called out to his horsey mate. ‘Hey there, buddy, how goes it?’
Turning, and then plodding towards him, Dynamite stuck his head through the rungs and frisked Joel’s pockets for any sign of a treat – he seemed a little miffed when he came up empty. ‘Fair play. You gotta work for treats round here, my friend.’ Chuc
kling, Joel pushed Dynamite’s head back a little. ‘Sorry, but them’s the breaks.’
Dynamite threw his head in the air and whinnied.
Amused, Joel shrugged. ‘And it’s no use complaining about it, because I’m not going to change my mind, no matter how much you sook. Tough love and all of that.’
With that, Dynamite turned his rump to him and clomped away, making his way back over to the other side of the paddock where he was closer to his new love interest, the broody mare in the neighbouring paddock.
‘Catch you later on then,’ Joel called out to him. ‘You big stud, you,’ he added with another chuckle.
Wandering over to his LandCruiser, he cast a wary glance towards the ominous clouds as he slid behind the wheel, fired up the old girl and then turned up the Adam Brand song playing on the radio. Window down, the cool wind whisked the inside of the cab into a frenzy, strewn Minties wrappers and brown paper bags from his many trips to the bakery and fish and chip shop blustering about. Chuckling to himself, he caught each one and shoved the scrunched-up bits of paper into an empty takeaway coffee cup.
The scent of rain lingered, strong and sharp, as the atmospheric pressure built. Halfway into town, the ever-darkening sky finally cracked open in an ovation-worthy spectacle. He quickly wound up his window and flicked his windscreen wipers to top speed. Unable to see two metres in front of him, he begrudgingly slowed to what felt like a crawl, arriving out the front of the medical centre with only minutes to spare. He was relieved to nab the last parking space and killed the engine, the wipers screeching to a halt in the middle of the windscreen. Grabbing his mobile from the dash, he opened the app he’d downloaded especially for this appointment, slipped it into his pocket, and grabbed his wallet from the glove compartment. The rain was coming down in torrents, bashing against buildings, cars and the few people clambering into them, some beneath umbrellas that the wind was trying to snatch from their grips. And here he was, just about to step out of his four-wheel drive and into it all – his life in a damn nutshell.