by Mandy Magro
Gazing out at the breathtaking sunset, with the sun shooting the last of its golden rays across the far-reaching sky and setting it ablaze, she floated into a blissful world as it began its descent behind the mountain ranges. Effortlessly, the majesty of it brought her into the present moment, taking her away from all her problems. She loved the sensation – wished she could bottle it. The sense of calm and centredness she felt was mind-blowing. She hadn’t expected her spur of the moment arrival here to be so comfortable, so soothing. And that brought her to consider whether she should show Joel the photos, made her wonder if she should open up and tell him absolutely everything. Maybe then he would understand her reluctance to go to the police. Or maybe that would be putting him in a very awkward position, one where he had more of her secrets to keep. Whichever way she turned, she felt trapped, and all because of three selfish, conceited, arrogant, heartless men. Malcolm Kern, Levi Muller and Lachlan Davis.
The only man who’d ever been true to her, who had always had her best interests at heart, was Joel. Wrapping her arms around herself, she listened to him rattling about in the kitchen as the late afternoon got longer and shadows crept across the back lawn. With the sun gliding away and a cool breeze picking up, wind rustled branches against the side of the barn, the wooden floorboards creaking as if stretching and groaning. The distant whinnies of horses and brays of cattle carried with it. Everything about this place felt peaceful, enticing – it always had. It was a little strange, knowing Zoe wasn’t here, and instead thousands of miles away. She hoped her friend was having the time of her life – she deserved to.
Pulling the blanket from the back of the settee, she tugged it over her curled-up legs, drawing in a deep breath. She imagined the rest of the world slipping away and, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt as if she were home.
CHAPTER
18
Placing the last of the prosciutto beside the slices of pear and apple, Joel tossed the deli paper into the bin and admired his work of foodie art. Wanting to make Juliette feel special, he’d gotten a little carried away and taken longer than anticipated, but she was going to love what he’d rustled up to eat. She’d always been a sucker for a good cheese platter – blue cheese drizzled with honey her all-time favourite, and his. Little gestures counted at a time like this, and she should be treasured. She was the sweetest, strongest woman he knew, and she didn’t deserve to have been dealt such a shitty hand in life – clearly things weren’t going very well for her. He really wanted to be the one to save her from her troubles, but for now, he’d settle for making sure she was cared for.
Switching on the stereo, he picked one of his favourite CDs – he was in the mood for some heartfelt tunes, and Chris Stapleton knew just how to belt them out. Then, nibble board in hand, an unopened bottle of tawny port pinned under his arm and two glasses balanced between his fingers, he made his way back outside.
‘Sorry I took so long. I thought we might need a little bit of sustenance between drinks,’ he said, rounding the corner. His breath hitched when he caught sight of her, curled up on the settee, covered in a blanket, a dreamy smile upon her lips and her eyes closed. With her long lashes resting on her cheeks and her hair fanned out over the back of the settee, she looked so peaceful, so breathtakingly beautiful. He paused beside her – he honestly could stand here and stare at her face all night long, but his presence stirred her.
She blinked open her sweet eyes, ones that pinned him to the spot – he couldn’t, for the life of him, stop looking into them. ‘Hey, you,’ she said croakily.
‘Hey, sleeping beauty. You’re looking a lot better already,’ he said, placing everything on the coffee table and then settling down beside her.
‘I must have drifted off.’ She yawned, stretched her arms high. ‘But back to reality, huh?’ She screwed her face up.
‘You must have needed a power nap.’ Grabbing the port, he poured them both a generous glass.
She wriggled up straighter and accepted hers. ‘Thanks.’ She surveyed the platter. ‘Oh my goodness, look at all of this. Yum.’ Her sleepy eyes widened, as did her smile. ‘You didn’t have to go to so much trouble, Joel.’
‘No trouble at all.’ He rested back, pleased with her reaction. ‘I thought you might be hungry.’
‘I wasn’t, but I am now.’ She leant forward and, grabbing the cheese knife, cut herself a lavish piece of cheese and plonked it onto a cracker. ‘I haven’t had blue cheese and honey in forever.’
‘Why the heck not?’ Joel helped himself to the same thing and the pair of them moaned as they chewed.
‘Nobody else likes it,’ she finally replied, licking the honey from her fingertips.
‘Well, they’re all weirdos,’ he said lightheartedly.
She laughed now. ‘And we’re not?’
‘Nope. They don’t know what they’re missing out on.’ He cut some more, placed it on a biscuit, and passed it to her. ‘I freaking love this stuff, all thanks to you getting me to try it, very reluctantly at first I must add.’
‘I knew you’d like it. You’re a foodie weirdo, just like me.’ She shoved his offering into her mouth.
‘You got that right,’ he said with vigour.
They both tucked into the delicious deli goodies and a companionable silence hung as they devoured a few mouthfuls, then sat back with their glasses raised to their lips. Joel couldn’t help but steal sideways glances. Juliette was simply stunning, in every single way.
‘I’d forgotten how nice this is.’ Juliette’s voice was soft as she gazed up at the twilight sky and the twinkling stars.
Admiring it all too, Joel’s smile spread into one of complete gratitude. ‘Yeah, you can’t beat a view like this.’
‘I wasn’t talking so much about the view, although it is beautiful.’ She turned to him, and a flicker of emotion from deep within was fleetingly exposed. ‘I meant …’ She paused, assessed him. ‘… being with you.’ Her voice caught on her last word, her lip quivering.
‘I’m glad to hear it because that’s how I want you to feel around me. I know we’ve had a lot of hurt, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be great mates, Jules.’ Every fibre of Joel’s being pulsed with longing for this exquisite woman. ‘I care about you, and that will never change.’
‘Thanks, Joel. I care about you, too.’ Closing her eyes, she sighed, and then looked back towards the sky. ‘You have this effortless knack of making me feel as though all my problems aren’t so unbearable, as though I can somehow find my way out of the darkness.’ She bit her lip, the hint of a smile at odds with her gathering tears. ‘And I need that right now, more than you know. Thank you for being here for me.’
‘I’ll always be here for you, no matter what,’ he said, his heart reaching for hers. ‘I hope you know that.’
She nodded, blinking faster. ‘I know, and I’m so very thankful.’
He gave her hand a quick squeeze and they shared a meaningful glance before settling back, bellies pleasantly full and glass of port in hand.
They were sitting so close now, he could just make out the fine scattering of soft freckles dusted across her cheeks, and the place on her neck where he knew she liked to have kisses feathered over. It took every bit of his resolve not to lean in and do so. He wanted to pretend she didn’t have such a hold over him, over his heart, but this magical moment with her was proving otherwise. He needed to get a damn grip.
‘I’m all ears if you want to spill what’s going on in your life,’ he said after a few minutes.
She sighed and nodded. Then, with a deep inhalation, she began. From tailing Lachlan all the way to their apartment in Cairns, to how her stepfather palmed her off to the Davis family, to Margery’s selfish efforts to manipulate her, to her own longing for children, to arriving home a few hours ago to the pre-nup she’d unknowingly signed, and then, finally, to the photos of her stepfather cheating on her mother with Kathryn, he found his anger rising notch after notch, and his heart breaking for he
r.
‘Far out, Juliette. This is way worse than I’d imagined.’ He tried to find the right words, anything to make her feel better, as fury raged through him. ‘Lachlan Davis truly is one lowlife son of a bitch.’
Staring down at her hands wringing in her lap, she nodded.
‘Are you going to show your mother the photos?’
‘I think so.’ She looked to him, fear storming across her face. ‘There’s something else I should tell you. It might help you understand why I don’t want to go to the police.’
He took a breath. ‘There’s more?’
She nodded. Cleared her throat. Sucked in a few deep breaths while avoiding his gaze now. ‘My stepfather … Malcolm …’ She choked back one sob, followed by another.
Joel rested his hand on her bouncing leg, gently stopping it and silently urging her to go on.
She turned to him, her face contorted with distress. ‘He mistreated me and my mother, Joel. For years. He still takes his belt to Mum when he thinks she’s sinned. She loves him so much for some stupid reason, and she takes it without grievance.’
‘Jesus.’ He shot to his feet, the rage rushing through him seizing his breath, and clenched his fists at his sides. ‘That evil son of a bitch.’ He unfurled his fingers and rubbed his hands roughly over his face, then through his hair. Looking to the starry sky, his breathing laboured, he tried to pull himself together before turning back to Juliette. ‘What kind of things did he do to you?’ He was almost too scared to hear it in case he lost his mind completely, and went and taught Malcolm Kern a damn lesson, one that would send Malcolm to an early grave, and him to prison.
Juliette unclamped her bottom lip from between her teeth. ‘He used to lock me in a cupboard and make me pray for hours for things I didn’t even understand, or he’d get me to bend across the chair and he’d belt me until my bum was red-raw, and sometimes …’ She was talking through her sobs now. ‘… he’d make me and Mum kneel on the cement in the shed and pray from dusk to dawn, just for saying god or damn, all the while with him sitting on a chair, glaring at us with his belt ready in his hands if we tried to stand up.’
Joel swore. ‘He’s meant to be a man of god.’ It came out in a rush. With the realisation of her dire circumstances crushing him, Joel fell to his knees at Juliette’s feet and gently placed his hands on the knees of her jeans. His teary gaze met hers, and he did his best to choke back emotion. He needed to be strong for her, no matter what. ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through such horrific treatment in silence, Jules. You didn’t deserve it, and neither does your mum. No woman does.’ He briefly closed his eyes, shaking his head. ‘I can’t believe she stays with him. He’s a disgusting human being. I should’ve seen it, with how scared you were of upsetting him. I should have helped you get away from it, from him.’
She placed her hands over his, smiling gently through her tears. ‘It’s not your fault, Joel. You had no idea. Nobody does.’
‘Now I understand why you didn’t want to go to the police that night, and why you still don’t want to. It’s all for your mother’s sake.’ He drew in a slow steady breath. ‘You should’ve told me all this way back then, Jules. I would have understood. I would have helped you.’
She nodded. ‘Maybe I should have, but I promised my mum I wouldn’t speak of it to anyone. Besides, I’m telling you now, and now is what matters.’
‘Well, now I know, I’ll protect you and your mother with my life if I have to. That bastard is not going to hurt either of you again.’ He stood, taking her with him, and pulled her to where she belonged – in his arms. She broke, sobbed into his chest, and he did his best to soothe her with his touch.
‘So, where are you going to move to, because I’m gathering it most certainly won’t be back home?’ he said once she’d calmed a little.
‘Too right. Moving back home is not an option. To be honest, I have no idea where I’m going to go.’ She untangled her arms from around him and brought her teary gaze back to his. ‘All I know is I don’t want to move out of Little Heart. My work is here, and this is my home and always will be.’
He noted the tension of her mouth and the tiredness around her eyes. After spilling everything, she was totally exhausted in every way, and all he wanted to do was love her the way she should be loved. ‘What about staying at Zoe’s place until she gets back from Cambodia? Six months will give you plenty of time to get yourself sorted, and I’m sure she won’t mind you housesitting her bachelorette pad one little bit.’
She glanced across the way, past the horse yards, catching the slightest glimpse of the roof of Zoe’s quaint little one-bedder. ‘Oh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.’ She looked to him, apprehension written all over her pretty face. ‘What will people say, with me leaving Lachlan only to come and live here?’
He shrugged. ‘Who cares what people say? You know the truth, I know the truth, and that’s all that bloody well matters.’ He hinted a smile. ‘And besides, you got a better idea, Firecracker?’
‘I’d forgotten you used to call me that.’ Pausing, as if recalling all the times he had, she then frowned and sighed. ‘And no, I don’t have a better idea of where I should live, and not for lack of trying. There’s not a rental in sight, or even the hint of one becoming available in the near future. They’re as rare as hen’s teeth around here.’
‘Well then, it’s settled. You, Warrior and Brute are moving here for now.’
‘But … I … um …’ She stammered to a stop.
He could see urgent words lock her throat. However, she sucked in a deep breath and nodded. ‘I think it might be my only option, so thank you, I’d love to take you up on the offer.’ She puckered her lips, as if in deep thought. ‘But what about your parents?’
‘What about them?’ He shrugged, careful not to meet her gaze as the pain of his father’s treatment momentarily gripped him, and instead looked to the dark sky, laden with stars swimming amongst the silvery glow of the moon.
‘Don’t you think we should run it past them first?’ She spoke softly, but the concern in her voice was palpable. ‘I mean, I’m not even sure your dad likes me anymore. He barely says boo whenever he sees me in town or at church, or when I call over to visit Zoe.’
‘The cranky old bugger doesn’t seem to like many people these days, but it’s his own stuff, so don’t take it personally.’ He tried to smile. ‘Of course I’ll run it by Mum, but she’ll say the same thing I’m saying, that this place is your home too. They’ve always loved you like one of their own, Jules.’
‘I love them too, even when your dad is being a cranky arse,’ she replied with a warm smile.
Words dangling from the tip of his tongue, Joel sucked in a steadying breath. He was about to veer the conversation to uncomfortable ground, but he had to – the timing felt right. ‘So, does this mean we’re going to go to the police about Levi?’ She went to retort, but he barged on. ‘After you show your mother the photos, and she hopefully leaves Malcolm, of course.’
Her shoulders stiffened and her back grew straighter. ‘Please, Joel. Not again. This is all too much for me to think about right now.’
But he didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. ‘I’ll protect you, and your mum, you have my word.’ He regarded her earnestly, and she writhed beneath his stare.
Huffing, she looked to the silhouettes of the horses, backdropped by the moonlight. ‘I thought you’d get it and stop hassling me.’
‘I do get it, and totally understand why you’re afraid, but it doesn’t have to be like this, Jules. We can work our way around it all.’ He blew a weighty breath. ‘Please, think about it because, in a way, you’re going against everything you believe in by not doing anything about the Mullers. You know that, right?’
She turned wild eyes his way, and he flinched at the hurt and anger within them. ‘Joel, I have enough on my plate, as you well know now I’ve told you everything, without you constantly pressuring me as well.’ Her expression blazed into one of defiance. ‘Sure
ly you can appreciate I’ve reached my limit, if you care about me as much as you say you do, right?’
Joel bit his tongue. If looks could kill, he’d be dead. The band of pain that sat constantly around his chest constricted even tighter. But despite his compassion for her situation, and the hostility in her eyes, he pushed on. He had to. He could see her balancing on the edge of coming around to his way of thinking. ‘As frightened as you are, we have to do this, Jules. Please, I’m begging you.’
She shot to her feet and pointed at him. ‘No, we damn well don’t! And if you go and do this without my consent, I won’t want anything to do with you, not ever.’ Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and she didn’t bother to hide the bitterness in her tone. Her hands went to her hips. ‘As wrong as it was, what they did to you and Ben, it was me that was sexually molested that night, and it was me that was left to pick up the pieces when you took off the way you did.’ She turned her back to him, arms folded.
Her words hit him in the gut, painful and final, as if she’d just fired bullets at him instead of her icy words. ‘For god’s sake, Jules, can’t you see I’m trying to make things right, and trying to make up for not being able to protect you that night? I didn’t want to leave you. You told me we were over, and I …’
‘Stop! Just stop, okay?’ She sucked in a shuddering breath, dropped her head into her hands. ‘I know it’s my fault too, it’s just …’ She finally turned back to him. ‘Since you’ve been MIA, it’s been easier to blame our break-up on you, but now you’re back and I have to look into your eyes again and see all the …’ She stalled, shook her head, and choked back a sob. ‘We shouldn’t be talking about this stuff.’
‘Okay, I’m sorry.’ Nodding, he closed his eyes, squeezed back his own tears, then dared to meet her determined gaze once more. ‘But, Jules, please. Just take a breath, and try to see what they did that night, and what they stole from us, from my side too.’ He was well aware he was pleading with her now, but it was something worth getting on his knees and begging for, so he ran with it.