My heart flutters at his words.
When Rook said it, his words didn’t affect me like this. But West? I feel like there are thousands of butterflies in my stomach, tickling me.
How am I ever going to date somebody else when I have these feelings for West? How can I get over him? He doesn’t like me like that.
West nudges me with his shoulder. “Hey, what are you thinking so hard about?”
I shake my head, not wanting to tell West I’m thinking about him.
When Ian and I had our talk, it hurt me so bad to tell him that I didn’t love him like that. I don’t want West to have to go through the same thing with me, so I will keep my true feelings to myself. Why make him suffer along with me?
“Princess, don’t let just any guy win your affections, okay? Make him work for it,” he says.
I grin. “West, the guy who ends up with me will also end up with Alek, Ian, Kal, and you. I think he’ll work plenty for it.”
West frowns. “Can’t you just stay single forever?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Will you?”
He smirks. “If you will, I will.”
I doubt that.
Whoever West ends up with… she is going to be one lucky girl.
“Rook is a good guy, you know,” West says.
I huff. “Are you kidding me, West?”
“What?” he asks.
“You yelled at me for fraternizing with the enemy and then you basically just give me the go ahead to date him?” I ball my hands into a fist at my side.
I know I shouldn’t be mad at him, but I am. If he’s encouraging me to date another guy, doesn’t that mean he’s really not into me? I could fool myself into thinking maybe I had a shot with him before, but not now. I feel like my heart is ripping in two.
If this is how Ian feels, no wonder he hates me. I’d hate me too.
No, that’s not true. I don’t hate West for not feeling the same as I do. I can’t blame him for not liking me like that. Despite what Rook thinks, there is nothing special about me.
“I don’t get you. Why are you mad at me all of a sudden?” West shakes his head.
“Because you infuriate me!” I put a hand to my forehead, putting pressure at my temple.
West pulls at my hand, forcing me to look at him. He has his eyes narrowed.
“Ditto, Princess.”
I growl at him.
He smirks.
“What are you smiling?” I’m ten seconds away from actually pushing him off the balcony.
“You’re cute when you’re angry.”
Without my permission, the anger leaves my body replaced by another feeling—one I am trying desperately hard to ignore.
“I’m still mad at you,” I say, but don’t put any effort behind the words.
“I know, Princess.” He puts his hand on my neck and pulls me against him. He kisses me hard and fast. I revel in the moment, knowing it will end too soon. This is what is going to get me through the night—reliving his kiss. Feeling the imprint of his touch.
I give him a little more of my heart, fully knowing he is going to break it. Honestly, he’ll probably break it later tonight. But I don’t care, not right now.
West pulls back too soon. “Let’s go to Fight Club.”
Okay, not the romantic words I wanted to hear.
“Let’s invite lover boy. I want to fight him so I can make sure he never asks you out again,” West continues.
“Ah, there is the West that I know and love,” I tease.
He turns to me with a huge grin on his face. It’s so unexpected that my breath catches in my throat.
The smile slowly falls. “But I’m still mad at you.”
Of course.
Why would I expect anything less?
Stay away from Roxy.
I’m not surprised when we pile into one of the Jeeps and head to Fight Club. I am surprised when Ian gets into the car with Cole, Jensen, and Rook. Things have gotten so bad that he’d rather ride in the car with the rival team than with me.
Upon seeing the hurt look on my face, West gets into the back with me. I have no idea what to think when I look over and see him in the backseat. I don’t think the guy has ever ridden in the backseat. He’s usually driving, and if he’s not, he definitely gets shotgun.
I raise an eyebrow, looking at him, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. He just grabs onto my hand and holds it.
Putting a hand to my forehead, I feel to see if it’s hot—it’s not. But certainly, it must be some kind of fever dream, right? I reach my other hand over and put it on West’s forehead.
“What are you doing, Princess?”
“Checking for fever.”
He swats my hand away. “Sit back and enjoy the ride.”
I do sit back, but I don’t ‘enjoy’ the ride. I’m too anxious about how the night is going to go.
I’ve been to Fight Club exactly three times, and all three times the night has ended horribly.
Well, last time didn’t end completely horribly. West did give me the best kiss of my life against the Jeep and I definitely wouldn’t mind reliving that.
My hand tingles from where West holds it and my heart won’t stop fluttering. My heart doesn’t care that I can’t possibly have feelings for West.
Kal turns around, looking between West’s and my intertwined hands and me. He winks at me before looking at West. “So, what is supposed to be happening tonight? Why are we going to Fight Club?”
“Roxy needs more training for The Royal Games,” Alek says, from the driver’s seat.
“Rook and I have a score to settle,” West says.
Uh, I wish it had been what Alek said.
“No dress tonight?” Kal wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“I would, but I don’t feel like having a random guy pulling me on stage to fight me just because I’m wearing a dress,” I admit.
Fighting in a dress is surprisingly easy. And it’s also fun to smack down a guy who thinks you’re an easy target. But tonight, I just want to enjoy myself. I don’t want to get in the ring if I can help it.
When we pull up, the anxiety really hits me as West lets go of my hand. Kal opens my door for me and I jump out, not at all ready to head inside.
The line outside is longer than I’ve ever seen it, and I realize this is the first time I’ve ever been here on a Friday night. West, Jensen, and the rest of us skip the line, walking right to the front. The guy doesn’t say anything, he just waves us forward, letting us walk right inside. It makes me feel like true Spy School royalty, which, I guess, we are.
Kal puts his arm around me as we walk inside. He doesn’t even remove it when West glares at him. If anything, he seems amused by it. I want to tell Kal not to push West tonight, but I need his comfort. I’m anxious about what is going to happen. I’ve got a bad feeling about it.
Rook approaches Kal and me with a grin on his face.
“You want to fight me?” Rook yells at me over the crowd.
I put a hand against my chest. “Me?”
He nods.
“You’ll win,” I counter.
He shrugs. “I bet you’ll make me work for it.”
He’s not wrong about that.
“Sure,” I say.
Kal squeezes my shoulders before letting go. “Good luck.”
I follow Rook into the ring. As we get into position, I notice West standing at the side with his arms crossed over his chest. He’s glaring at Rook.
Yikes.
Then I remember the point of him wanting to come tonight—he wants to make sure that Rook never asks me out again. I have a feeling tonight isn’t going to turn out pretty.
The fight begins, so I try not to focus on West and his glare. Instead, I put all my energy into the fight with Rook.
He’s good—really good. I knew he would be—he’s a Royal. He’s past the training stage. His team has graduated and they spend a lot of time in the field. Me… I’m still learning.
I do hold
my own against him pretty well. I’m faster, which I use to my advantage, but he’s stronger. A lot stronger. He has a good sixty pounds on me and those sixty pounds are pure muscle.
Rook is very calculated in his movements. He attacks in ways that don’t hurt—he’s like my team in that way. They never hurt me during training.
When Rook goes in for the win, I don’t even see it coming. One minute, I’m holding my own against him, thinking I might actually have a shot, and the next I am on the ground, looking up at his face.
“Well played,” I yell over the crowd.
He holds out a hand to help me up. Before I’m upright, I see somebody enter the ring out of the corner of my eye. When I turn, I see West.
I groan, knowing this isn’t going to turn out well.
“Watch from the side, Princess,” West demands. He walks up to Rook, issuing his challenge.
Per Fight Club rules, Rook has to fight. Not that I think he’d back out anyway. None of these guys would—maybe a little because of their pride, but also because they’re Royals. Royals don’t back down from anything.
I chew on my lip as I stand at the sidelines as West demanded. An arm goes around my shoulder and I look over to see Kal standing there. I resist the urge to bury my face in his shoulder. I can’t look away from the fight.
West attacks without mercy. I’ve seen him fight a lot during training, but somehow this is different. This is him wanting to put Rook in his place. I just don’t understand why. Jensen is the one he hates. And I can understand why with Jensen, but Rook is a nice guy.
“Is this what I have to look forward to being on a team with West?” I lean closer to Kal, yelling over the crowd to him.
Kal shrugs, then nods his answer.
Yep—if this isn’t the most West thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is.
Turning my attention back to the fight, I watch Rook take a big hit to his jaw.
Yikes, that is going to hurt later.
But Rook dishes just as much as he takes. He doesn’t get a lot of hits in because West is good at what he does, but he holds his own well. I’m impressed.
West glances over at me and he gives me a look that I can’t quite read, but I know that he’s about to go in for the final hit. He’s ready to end this fight. And that is exactly what he does. One minute, Rook is blocking West’s hits, and the next he’s lying face up on the ground.
West leans over Rook, and I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I can read his lips.
“Stay away from Roxy.”
I should be offended that he’s telling Rook that—doesn’t he get that I’m not into Rook like that? I turned Rook down all on my own and I can continue to turn him down if he asks me out again. Instead, West is treating me like I am a fragile princess. We both know I’m not.
I am a Royal. I worked hard to get to where I am and I continue to work hard to stay here. I push myself past what I think I can achieve. I can handle myself.
West climbs out of the ring, walking right up to me. He grabs my arm and pulls me from Fight Club. We haven’t even been here fifteen minutes yet, but he’s done. There is no arguing with him.
“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, West,” I say, as we finally walk out the side door.
“Apparently you do.” West gives me a pointed look. “You and Rook fought in the ring tonight and you lost. Now he knows that you’re off limits.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s not your decision to make.”
“It is my decision!” He lets out his breath in a huff. “Roxy, you’re my business. You’re on my team. Everything you do affects me, even who you decide to date. I will always fight for what is right for you.”
“You’re completely missing the point.” I groan. “I can’t even look at you right now. What you did in there was so macho and pigheaded. I’m so mad at you.”
“Be mad at me, I don’t care. I don’t regret protecting you,” West counters. “I’d do the same for anybody on this team.”
He wouldn’t. I know that but fighting it won’t make any difference.
When we get to the Jeep, he opens the passenger side door for me, motioning me to get inside. I start to refuse, not wanting to sit in the front with him, but he has this determined look in his eyes. He would probably force me to get in if I tried to argue.
Climbing in, I spot Kal getting in the back. He gives me a sad smile.
At least I have Kal on my side.
Ian, on the other hand, refuses to make eye contact with me and Alek keeps mumbling things under his breath in Russian—I don’t think I want to know what he’s saying.
Being the only girl on an all guy’s team is complicated.
Saturday, December 9
I just can’t win.
We’re leaving on Monday for The Royal Games, but nobody seems excited anymore. No alarms go off early for training. In fact, West has all of a sudden decided that we’re ‘taking the weekend off.’
Things in the condo are as tense as they were before we were dropped in the middle of that forest in California. I feel like everybody is mad at me.
Well, Ian is mad because I turned him down. West is mad because, well, he’s West. No other explanation needed. Alek isn’t mad, but he’s also not happy. I don’t know what is going on with him, but I’m glad it wasn’t me who made him angry. And Kal is just quiet—it’s smart to be quiet in this condo. Talking gets everybody upset.
Later that afternoon, when West calls a family meeting, I can’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach that appears. Why do I think this isn’t going to end well for me?
“We need to talk.” West crosses his arms over his chest, looking at each member of the team except for me. He deliberately looks over me, which only makes the horrible feeling grow.
Let’s hope this meeting doesn’t end up with us being dropped off in a forest.
“Yesterday, Roxy was fraternizing with the enemy,” West begins.
My jaw drops open.
Really? That is what this is about? He’s still mad that Rook asked me out? Not only that, but he’s bringing all the guys into it.
“What do you mean?” Kal leans forward, like he’s interested.
No.
No, no, no.
I cannot lose Kal. He the only friend I have left on the team.
I groan. “Come on, West. You know that’s not true.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “You agreed to go out on a date with Rook.”
“WHAT?” Ian’s eyes widen as he looks at me.
Uh, this is what it takes to get Ian to talk to me? Having other guys ask me out?
“I told him no,” I say, defending myself.
“But after she told him no she agreed to give him a chance. She said they could be friends and that she’d go out with him as friends.” West looks at me, challenging me to deny his words.
“So what? Rook is nice. Besides, I wasn’t actually going to hang out with him. I just wanted to avoid confrontation. I was going to be conveniently busy every time he wanted to hang out.” I push my hair behind my ear, praying that the guys believe me.
West glares at me with his fist clenched tight—we’ve already had this conversation so I didn’t expect him to believe me, but it still stings. Alek’s face is bright red and his brows are turned downward as he looks at me. Clearly, he’s not on my side. Ian’s lips are tilted down and his shoulders are slumped forward, almost like he’s defeated. But Kal… his reaction surprises me the most. He looks at me with wide eyes, like somebody just kicked his puppy.
“Roxy, is it really true?”
I throw my hands up in complete defeat. “Are you guys not hearing me? I don’t like Rook like that.”
Kal turns from me to West. “They have been friendly with one another.”
Great—now they’re going to talk about me like I’m not even here.
Every single guy on my team is mad at me and I don’t know how to handle it. It’s always one step forward and three steps back wit
h these guys.
Not wanting to hear another word, I get up from the couch where I’m sitting. I ignore West when he calls my name and I walk out onto the balcony, just to get a breath.
Why is my life such a mess? Why did we have to get invited to those stupid games? And why did our rivals have to move into the condo right next door to ours? Life was so much less complicated before they got here.
I hear the patio doors open and shut. I’m too scared to look behind me. I don’t want West to come out right now and try to start something with me. I just want peace and quiet for a little while.
Somebody sits down beside me wordlessly and it’s then I realize it’s not West. If it were West, he’d already be yelling at me. I look over and see Ian sitting there, his blue eyes trained on me.
He pushes his glasses further up his nose and he sighs. “I don’t even know where to begin right now.”
I stay quiet, scared that if I speak, he will stop talking to me. I’d rather have him yell at me and hate me than for him to continue giving me the silent treatment like he has been.
“I understand that you don’t like me the same way I like you. You can’t help how you feel. But what I don’t understand is why you’re interested in Rook, of all people.” He shakes his head back and forth. “Certainly you have better taste than that, right?”
I don’t know what to say to that or even where to begin. I take a deep breath, hoping what I’m about to say doesn’t offend him.
“Ian, I don’t like Rook,” I tell him. “When he asked me out on a date, I told him no. And even if I had been interested in Rook in that way, I still would’ve told him no. I don’t ever want to cause drama on our team. I just got you guys to like me and I would never want to jeopardize that.”
He snorts. “I don’t like you.”
His words cause a sharp pain to hit me in the chest. I chew on the side of my lip, not knowing how I’m supposed to respond to that.
“I guess it just hurts that you like a guy on our rival team, but not me. It makes me wonder what you see in him. At least I’m on your team.” Ian turns his head, looking away from me, toward the waves.
I sigh. “I’m sorry, Ian. I can never say those words enough to you. I hurt you and I know I did. It kills me because I love you. You’re like a brother to me.”
The Cruel World Page 12