by SR Jones
Then he stands as the paramedics shuffle a backboard under me.
It takes four hours in accident and emergency for me to be triaged and sorted. I have to undergo an MRI scan on my face and neck, as well as a CT scan and then further scans and x-rays on my leg. Seems I’m a lucky fuck.
Bullet went through. Hit a vein, hence the bleeding. Luckily for me it missed my femur, but I will have muscle damage from where it tore through muscle.
I’m being wheeled to a ward by a jovial porter, drips with fluids and antibiotics running into my veins.
The doctors think I’ll avoid the need for surgery on my face too. I have a fractured jaw and by some miracle an intact cheekbone. They say there might be some nerve pain around my cheek area, but it should settle down.
The biggest stumbling block recovery wise will be my leg. It will take physiotherapy and a few months to get back to normal usage.
When we get onto the ward, the nurse at the station gives me a smile.
“We’ve got you a private room for tonight. Tomorrow, you’ll be on here with the rest of the noisy rabble, but tonight you get some peace and quiet.” She nods to the porter. “Take him to 3C, Alan, and I’ll be there in two seconds.”
Alan wheels me smoothly into the room and then the nurse is there. She has a couple of syringes.
“Pain killers,” she says. “IV paracetamol, it actually seems to work better than the tablet form and can be really effective. And the good stuff, Fentanyl.”
She puts the first syringe into the second port in my hand and presses the lever, and then the second. “You’ll be downgraded to Morphine tomorrow. Your treatment plan is to be kept in for the next few days and reviewed by the consultants each morning. If you’re doing okay by day three or four, you’ll likely be discharged. We don’t like to keep people in here longer than need be. Less infection risk that way. You’ll go home with co-codamol and oral antibiotics for seven days, and you’ll come back to see the consultants at the end of that time. Then at some point, you’ll get referred to our physiotherapy rehab services.”
I marvel at the wonder of a free and efficient health service like this. In Russia, things are not always so good.
The door to my room bursts open, and Violet rushes in.
Relief floods me at seeing her safe and unhurt.
“Oh my God. Andrius.” She makes her way to the side of the bed and reaches out for me before pulling her hand back as if she daren’t touch me.
“Your face.” She begins to cry, and Ethan walks into the room along with Liam.
“I’m okay, honey. Honestly, not as bad as it looks, but talking does hurt.” I sound drunk, slurred. But it’s not the pain meds, rather the broken fucking jaw making me sound this way.
“I’m so stupid. I got the wrong end of the stick, and I thought you didn’t want me. Then I saw you with her. The woman in the wine bar today. It’s okay. If you want to be with her, it’s okay. I’m just glad you’re alive. I’d feel awful if I had caused your death. Never be able to live with myself. It’s probably for the best you’ve met someone. I mean, it hurts, I can’t lie, but the way we started out. Whoa, who can make a go of something so messed up.”
Then she touches me gently on the arm, and I want to grab her and kiss her, but there won’t be any kissing for a while. Still, she’s made a massive mistake, and I need to put her right. Despite it hurting like crazy to speak, I force the words out.
“You were in the bar today?” I ask.
She nods.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demand of Liam. We fucking spoke before I went tearing off after Violet, and he never mentioned seeing me there.
He shrugs. “I didn’t know at the time we were in the same place as you. Didn’t see you, and Isla didn’t say anything. I’d been about to give you a complete run down of our itinerary and whereabouts during the day when you got the text, and everything went to shit.”
I roll my eyes and contain my temper. These guys have gone above and beyond for me and mine today, but holy fuck, talk about miscommunication.
“Violet, the woman you saw me with today is no one to me. She works for Allyov.” I sigh, knowing this next bit won’t go down well, but from here on out we only deal in the truth. “I did sleep with her once, a while ago. She’s in her final year of training to be a lawyer, and I wanted her advice on some stuff I was struggling with. I couldn’t give her the exact details, but I shared the basic scenario. She’d been through a bad break-up a few weeks ago, she shared with me, and then she asked me if we had a chance. Said she felt we might have something good, and she gave me a kiss. I took ahold of her wrists and pushed her down into her seat and told her no. That was it, honestly. We left. I gave her a hug, thanked her for her advice, and wished her well.”
I think I’m going to need some more Fentanyl because my jaw is screaming. Thank fuck it doesn’t need wiring or an operation.
“Really?” she asks me, tears still running from her beautiful eyes.
I nod. “I swear it, Violet. I have no need to lie to you.”
She starts to cry even more.
Fucking hell, I don’t understand women. I thought this would make her feel better.
“I’m such a fool,” she says on a whisper. “Instead of talking to you, I went off halfcocked and ran away, and put you in so much danger.”
I shake my head because I don’t want her taking this on herself.
“Violet, if I’d have had the same call from Boris, and you were safe at the house, I’d still have gone. I couldn’t have left Carmel with him, and I had no idea what the crazy cunt would do.”
She flinches at the ugly word and quietly says, “Sorry.”
A nurse comes into the room. “You need your rest,” she tells me. Then she looks to my three visitors. “Why don’t you all come back tomorrow?”
“I’m staying tonight,” Liam tells her. Outside the door, I’ll need a chair.”
“I’m not sure if we can authorize it,” she says.
“Which? Me staying, or the chair?” Liam grins at her, and he’s transformed from the grumpy fucker I know to some charmer I’ve never seen before.
The nurse flushes and smiles back. “You staying.”
He goes into his pocket and pulls out some ID. “I work close protection for various important people. If you’d like to call DCI Latham, he’ll tell you it is more than sanctioned for me to be here, indeed. If you don’t let me stay it will cause a whole ton of problems. This is one very important man, and I need to make sure he’s safe.”
“Of course.” She nods. “I’ll fetch a chair. But you will have to sit outside the room.”
“Why are you staying?” I slur at Liam. “You need to stay with the women.”
“I’m making sure that fucker doesn’t come back for a second go at you while you’re incapacitated. Ethan and Luka have the farm sorted.” He shrugs. “I’m only doing my job.”
Yeah, as if. He’s doing a lot more.
“Did Reece put you up to this?”
Liam shakes his head. “Reece doesn’t know any of this. He needs to get better. But he’s like a brother to me, and for whatever reason he thinks highly of you. So that means you are someone I’m willing to go the extra for, whatever my personal views of who and what you are may be.”
That told me, I think you’re a piece of shit, but my brother in arms cares about you, so I’m keeping you safe. Basically.
“Come on, Violet. Let’s go,” Ethan says. “Sleeping beauty here does need his rest.”
She leans in and brushes the softest kiss over my swollen, sore mouth, and it’s so soft it doesn’t hurt much. The pain is worth it to feel her breath brush over me and smell her gorgeous scent.
“Violet is staying with Isla and myself,” Ethan tells me. “And Luka is going to be there too, along with Abi. We’ll hear if anyone tries to get within half a mile of the farmhouse because we’ll have the dogs out on patrol, Levi included.”
I nod. I trust these men to ke
ep Violet safe. They’re special forces for fuck’s sake. These guys are the type of soldiers who can defeat an army of forty or fifty men with five. They can certainly handle Boris and his bad shot thugs.
The door closes behind them, Violet turning to take one last look at me before it does. Then it’s me and Liam and the silent, brightly lit room.
“Want my advice?” he says.
I shake my head but, of course, he carries on.
“That girl out there is one in a million. She’s fucking beautiful, sweet. Loves you to pieces. A jaded, hard faced, and now, frankly, ugly bastard like you, isn’t going to find any better.”
Fuck him. He’s lucky I’m laid up with a fucked up leg.
“I know what I’m talking about because I’m in the same boat. I nearly lost my own slice of heaven because I thought she needed me to stay away. You’ll lose yours if you convince yourself vengeance is the most important thing. It isn’t. My advice. Let this go. Let Boris go. Leave him the fuck alone. He’s unhinged, but he doesn’t want a war, and if you agree to let this go, we’ll make it clear to him that if he pursues this, he’ll get a war.”
Thing is, he might be right, but at some point if I stay working for Allyov, I’ll have to work with Boris, to a degree. I don’t think I can look in his face and not murder the cunt after this.
“Second piece of advice. When I say walk away, mate, I mean from it all. Allyov. The whole fucking thing. You got what you wanted. They’re all gone, the ones who hurt your family, and you have enough cash from what I’ve seen to live a good, long while. Hell, if you ever need money, we always need people who are good in a fight.”
I stare at him agog. The fucker is offering me a job?
Walk away.
Can I?
Luka said the same thing.
I think of Violet, and I know what my answer ought to be, but years living on nothing but the high of chasing my revenge is going to be hard to leave behind.
Then I think again of the stupid daydream I had. Me and Violet, a house overlooking the sea, me writing, her painting. Shit. Maybe I can let it go. Not only for Violet, but for myself too.
Too tired to think clearly anymore, I nod at Liam to let him know his advice is heard. And then I close my eyes and hope the wait for the next round of painkillers isn’t too long.
Chapter 12
Violet
Andrius has been in the hospital for a full week now. He’s still on antibiotics because he spiked a temperature, and they were worried about infection. He also takes daily painkillers. I go and see him every day, twice a day. The guilt at what I did and what it cost him won’t leave me. I know he says he’d have gone to see Boris anyway, but I’m not so sure myself.
I’ve made a decision, one of the hardest in my life. I’m going to get that therapy. I’m such a fucking mess, and I react to life all the time, making hasty decisions instead of acting rationally. I want to stop being the girl who keeps screwing everything up. Today is my first visit with Allison Leman, a woman recommended to me via one of Luka’s friends, a shrink called Maggie.
I take the stairs up two flights to her office, flanked by Ethan and Luka. I’m not allowed out without the two of them following me. They’ve stopped guarding Andrius at his explicit order because the people behind the hit on Kyrylo have been exposed. Another Russian gang who want to control his turf in London.
Allyov is on his way home to the U.K., and he’s told Boris they can work together to try to overcome this new threat, but only if Boris leaves myself and Andrius alone.
Apparently, Boris was more than happy because as he told Allyov, who told Andrius, he considers the debt repaid now, and he thinks they can all be great friends and business partners.
While Andrius thinks this is all good enough to keep him safe, it apparently isn’t the same for me, and so I still have my bodyguards.
I reach the door to the therapy room and turn to give both men a stern glance. “You’re not coming in for this. You’ll have to wait out here.”
“Of course,” Luka says with a mock grimace. “I don’t want to hear all your dirty laundry.”
Taking a deep breath, I walk into the room and prepare to face my demons.
“So how did it go?” I’m back visiting with Andrius who can talk a little easier now. I told him about having my first therapy appointment.
“It went okay. She’s nice, and she made me feel safe, so I guess that’s the most important thing, right?’
“You’re brave,” he says.
I laugh at that because I am anything but. He is the brave one. Starting next week, he’s going to be enduring grueling rehab to try to get his leg healing faster and his walking ability back to normal. He’ll have a scar, they’ve told him. His face will most likely mend normally, and in time you won’t be able to tell his jaw has been broken. Now, though, it’s swollen on one side and bruised.
I hate Boris Popov and want to kill him myself. But no more crazy plans for me.
My only plan now is to get well-adjusted enough to be a good partner to Andrius and start my life properly.
I’ve also enrolled in a dog psychology course with a respected distance learning organization. I think I might like to train dogs. I mean, my true dream would be to work as an artist, but who gets to do that, right? So this is my more practical backup plan.
Things in some ways are looking great, in others they are up in the air.
I don’t know what Andrius will want to do when he gets out of the hospital. The idea of him going back to the life he has working with Allyov makes me sick, but I can’t ask him to leave.
The door opens, and Justina comes into the room. “Hey, Violet.” She gives me a smile, but it’s a bit distant. She’s been this way for the last week, ever since Andrius got hurt. I know it’s freaking her out. She needs him, is dependent on him, really, and he got hurt. The reason he got hurt is me.
I don’t think she can move past it. She’s trying, but all the natural friendliness I used to feel from her is gone, and in its place is something forced.
“How are you?” She sits on the side of the bed and smooths Andrius’ hair out of his eyes. The touch is almost maternal, and it makes me think what a good mother she’d be one day, if only she’d let her guard down enough to think about it.
“I’m okay.” He still slurs his words a little. “But you two aren’t, are you?”
His words shock me. Justina too, if the way she startles a little is anything to go by.
“I need you to be okay with one another because you both matter a lot to me. You’re my family, the only one I have, and I can’t relax if I know you’re upset with one another.”
It’s the longest speech about his feelings I’ve known Andrius make. And it fills my heart with joy. He called me his family.
He hasn’t told me he loves me. And I haven’t told him, but damn, being his family is good. So good.
“It’s all her fault.” Justina won’t look at me, and her words slash at me, harsh and unfair.
Shit, I think we’re right back where we were in that awful moment in the cellar when she attacked me.
“I like you, Violet.” She still isn’t looking at me. “But you’ve screwed everything up. You’ve put us both in danger, and you don’t seem to realize what a mess you’ve made of everything. Not intentionally, I know, but our life was simple before you came along.”
“None of this is her fault,” Andrius says, and I see the pain it causes him to speak in the tight lines around his mouth. “Things would have come to a head one way or another. This life isn’t safe for us anymore. Boris is fucking deranged. I can’t trust he won’t one day come after you or Violet. Kyrylo’s death has put a madman in charge of most of the area run by the Russians in London. Violet had nothing to do with it. So long as I’m involved with Allyov, and through him having to do business with Boris fucking Popov, you’re not safe. Either of you.”
“So what are you saying? You’re going to walk away?” She brightens fo
r the first time in days.
He sighs and winces. For the first time, I’m angry with Justina. I forgave her for attacking me in the cellar because I knew it came from a place of fear. But right now she’s being supremely selfish.
I get her selfishness comes from a deep-seated need to feel safe, but she can’t keep relying on Andrius to do that for her.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but whatever I decide, it’s because I think it’s the best for all of us. Me, you, and Violet, and you’re going to have to accept it, Justina. Things can’t stay the same forever.”
“Will there always be a place for me, whatever you decide?” Her voice is small, childlike.
“Yes, of course.” Andrius moves a little and winces.
“Justina,” I say. “We need to go and let him rest.”
She nods and turns to me, actually meeting my gaze, and gives a small smile.
“We’ll be back tomorrow,” she tells Andrius and kisses his cheek.
I move in and brush my lips whisper soft over his.
“See you tomorrow,” I tell him.
Justina gives me a lift back to the house, and the ride is uncomfortable. I don’t want us to have a difficult relationship, but she also needs to understand both of us need to step up now. The dynamic we had where Andrius made us both feel safe and protected at great cost to himself can’t carry on. We’ve both got to grow up and fast. I need to stop acting on every stupid whim I have, and Justina needs to find a way to make herself feel safe in this world without Andrius having to sacrifice his future for her.
I hope we can get to a place where we can both be a help and not a hindrance to him because he’s going to need us in the days and weeks to come.
Four days later and Andrius comes home. He’s tired and in pain. His leg is scaring me because he has a nasty scar, and he has needed even more antibiotics.
Tomorrow, he starts physiotherapy, and the doctor told him it might be a long haul. Thank God the bastard who shot him missed his kneecap because he’d most likely have faced multiple surgeries and would have always walked with a limp otherwise. With this injury, the doctors do believe he has a great chance at a full recovery, eventually.