Honnyman.20 Silence; conceal yourself, and mind your Eye.
Orsbourn. Are you well charg’d?21
Honnyman. I am. Take you the nearest,
And mind to fire exactly when I do.
Orsbourn. A charming Chance!
Honnyman. Hush, let them still come nearer.
60
[They shoot, and run to rifle the Indians.
They’re down, old Boy, a Brace of noble Bucks!
Orsbourn. Well tallow’d, faith, and noble Hides upon ’em.
[Taking up a Pack.
We might have hunted all the Season thro’
For Half this Game, and thought ourselves well paid.
Honnyman. By Jove, we might, and been at great Expence
65
For Lead and Powder, here’s a single Shot.
Orsbourn. I swear I’ve got as much as I can carry.
Honnyman. And faith I’m not behind; this Pack is heavy.
But stop; we must conceal the tawny Dogs,
Or their blood-thirsty Countrymen will find them,
70
And then we’re bit. There’ll be the Devil to pay,
They’ll murder us, and cheat the Hangman too.22
Orsbourn. Right. We’ll prevent all Mischief of this Kind.
Where shall we hide their savage Carcases?
Honnyman. There they will lie conceal’d and snug enough—
75
[They cover them.
But stay—perhaps ere long there’ll be a War,
And then their Scalps will sell for ready Cash,
Two Hundred Crowns at least, and that’s worth saving.23
Orsbourn. Well! that is true, no sooner said than done—
[Drawing his Knife.
I’ll strip the Fellow’s painted greasy Skull.24
80
[Strips off the Scalp.25
Honnyman. A damn’d tough Hide, or my Knife’s devilish dull—
[Takes the other Scalp.
Now let them sleep to Night without their Caps,
And pleasant Dreams attend their long Repose.26
Orsbourn. Their Guns and Hatchets now are lawful Prize,
For they’ll not need them on their present Journey.27
85
Honnyman. The Devil hates Arms, and dreads the Smell of Powder;28
He’ll not allow such Instruments about him,
They’re free from training29 now, they’re in his Clutches.
Orsbourn. But, Honnyman, d’ye think this is not Murder?
I vow I’m shock’d a little to see them scalp’d,
90
And fear their Ghosts will haunt us in the Dark.
Honnyman. It’s no more Murder than to crack a Louse,
That is, if you’ve the Wit to keep it private.
And as to Haunting, Indians have no Ghosts,
But as they live like Beasts, like Beasts they die.
95
I’ve kill’d a Dozen in this self-same Way,
And never yet was troubled with their Spirits.
Orsourn. Then I’m content; my Scruples30 are remov’d.
And what I’ve done, my Conscience justifies.
But we must have these Guns and Hatchets alter’d,
100
Or they’ll detect th’ Affair, and hang us both.
Honnyman. That’s quickly done—Let us with Speed return,
And think no more of being hang’d or haunted;
But turn our Fur to Gold, our Gold to Wine,
Thus gaily spend what we’ve so slily won,
105
And bless the first Inventor of a Gun.
[Exuent.
SCENE III.
An English Fort.
Enter Colonel Cockum and Captain Frisk.
Cockum.
What shall we do with these damn’d bawling Indians?
They’re swarming every Day with their Complaints
Of Wrongs and Injuries, and God knows what—
I wish the Devil would take them to himself.
Frisk. Your Honour’s right to wish the Devil his Due.
5
I’d send the noisy Helhounds packing hence,
Nor spend a Moment in debating with them.
The more you give Attention to their Murmurs,
The more they’ll plague and haunt you every Day,
Besides, their old King Ponteach grows damn’d saucy,
10
Talks of his Power, and threatens what he’ll do.
Perdition to their faithless sooty Souls,
I’d let ’em know at once to keep their Distance.
Cockum. Captain, You’re right; their Insolence is such
As beats my Patience; cursed Miscreants!
15
They are encroaching; fain would be familiar:31
I’ll send their painted Heads to Hell with Thunder!
I swear I’ll blow ’em hence with Cannon Ball,
And give the Devil a Hundred for his Supper.
Frisk. They’re coming here; you see they scent your Track,
20
And while you’ll listen, they will ne’er be silent,
But every Day improve in Insolence.
Cockum. I’ll soon dispatch and storm them from my Presence.
Enter Ponteach, and other Indian Chiefs.
Ponteach. Well, Mr. Colonel Cockum, what d’ they call you?
You give no Answer yet to my Complaint;
25
Your Men give my Men always too much Rum,
Then trade and cheat ’em.32 What! d’ ye think this right?
Cockum. Tush! Silence! hold your noisy cursed Nonsense;
I’ve heard enough of it; what is it to me?
Ponteach. What! you a Colonel, and not command your Men?
30
Let ev’ry one be a Rogue that has a Mind to’t.
Cockum. Why, curse your Men, I suppose they wanted Rum;
They’ll rarely be content, I know, without it.
Ponteach.33 What then? If Indians are such Fools, I think
White Men like you should stop and teach them better.
35
Cockum. I’m not a Pedagogue to your curs’d Indians.
[aside.
Ponteach. Colonel, I hope that you’ll consider this.
Frisk. Why don’t you see the Colonel will not hear you?
You’d better go and watch your Men yourself,
Nor plague us with your cursed endless Noise;
40
We’ve something else to do of more Importance.
Ponteach. Hah! Captain Frisk, what! you a great man too?
My34 Bus’ness here is only with your Colonel;
And I’ll be heard, or know the Reason why.
1st Chief. I thought the English had been better Men.
45
2d Chief. Frenchmen would always hear an Indian speak,
And answer fair, and make good Promises.
Cockum. You may be d—d, and all your Frenchmen too.
Ponteach. Be d—d! what’s that? I do not understand.
Cockum. The Devil teach you; he’ll do it without a Fee.
50
Ponteach. The Devil teach! I think you one great Fool.
Did your King35 tell you thus to treat the Indians?
Had he been such a Dunce he ne’er had conquer’d,
And made the running French for Quarter cry.
I always mind that such proud Fools are Cowards,
55
And never do aught that is great or good.
Cockum. Forbear your Impudence, you curs’d old Thief;
This Moment leave my fort, and to your Country.
Let me hear no more of your hellish Clamour,
Or to D—n I will blow you all,
60
And feast the Devil with one hearty Meal.
Ponteach. So ho! Know you whose Country you are in?
Think you, because you have subdu’d the French,
<
br /> That Indians too are now become your Slaves?
This Country’s mine, and here I reign as King;36
65
I value not your Threats, nor Forts, nor Guns;
I have got Warriors, Courage, Strength, and Skill.
Colonel, take care; the Wound is very deep,
Consider well, for it is hard to cure.
[Exeunt Indians.
Frisk. Vile Infidels! observe their Insolence;
70
Old Ponteach puts on a mighty Air.
Cockum. They’ll always be a Torment till destroy’d
And sent all headlong to the Devil’s Kitchen.
This curs’d old Thief, no doubt, will give us Trouble,
Provok’d and madded at his cool Reception.
75
Frisk. Oh! Colonel, they are never worth our minding,
What can they do against our Bombs and Cannon?
True, they may skulk, and kill and scalp a few,
But, Heav’n be thank’d, we’re safe within these Walls:37
Besides, I think the Governors are coming,
80
To make them Presents, and establish Peace.
Cockum. That may perhaps appease their bloody Minds,
And keep them quiet for some little Term.
God send the Day that puts them all to sleep,
Come, will you crack a Bottle at my Tent?
85
Frisk. With all my Heart, and drink D—n to them.
Cockum. I can in nothing more sincerely join.
[Exeunt.
SCENE IV.
An Apartment in the Fort.
Enter Governors Sharp, Gripe, and Catchum.38
Sharp.
Here are we met to represent our King,
And by his royal Bounties to conciliate
These Indians Minds to Friendship, Peace, and Love.
But he that would an honest Living get
In Times so hard and difficult as these,
5
Must mind that good old Rule, Take care of One.
Gripe. Ay, Christian Charity begins at home;
I think it’s in the Bible, I know I’ve read it.39
Catchum. I join with Paul, that he’s an Infidel
Who does not for himself and Friends provide.40
10
Sharp. Yes, Paul in fact was no bad Politician;
And understood himself as well as most.
All good and wise Men certainly take care
To help themselves and Families the first;
Thus dictates Nature, Instinct, and Religion,
15
Whose easy Precepts ought to be obey’d.
Gripe. But how does this affect our present Purpose?
We’ve heard the Doctrine; what’s the Application?
Sharp. We are intrusted with these Indian Presents.
A Thousand Pound was granted by the King,
20
To satisfy them of his Royal Goodness,
His constant Disposition to their Welfare,
And reconcile their savage Minds to Peace.
Five hundred’s gone; you know our late Division,
Our great Expence, Et cetera, no matter:
25
The other Half was laid out for these Goods,
To be distributed as we think proper;
And whether Half (I only put the Question)
Of these said Goods won’t answer every End,
And bring about as long a lasting Peace
30
As tho’ the Whole were lavishly bestow’d?
Catchum. I’m clear upon’t they will, if we affirm
That Half’s the Whole was sent them by the King.
Gripe. There is no doubt but that One Third wou’d answer,
For they, poor Souls! are ign’rant of the Worth
35
Of single Things, nor know they how to add
Or calculate, and cast the whole Amount.
Sharp. Ay, Want of Learning is a great Misfortune.
How thankful should we be that we have Schools,
And better taught and bred than these poor Heathen.
40
Catchum. Yes, only these Two simple easy Rules,
Addition and Subtraction, are great Helps,
And much contribute to our Happiness.
Sharp. ’Tis these I mean to put in Practice now;
Subtraction from these Royal Presents makes
45
Addition to our Gains without a Fraction.
But let us overhawl and take the best,
Things may be given that won’t do to sell.
[They overhawl the Goods, &c.
Catchum. Lay these aside; they’ll fetch a noble Price.
Gripe. And these are very saleable, I think.
50
Sharp. The Indians will be very fond of these.
Is there the Half, think you?
Gripe. It’s thereabouts.
Catchum. This Bag of Wampum may be added yet.
Sharp. Here, Lads, convey these Goods to our Apartment.
Servant. The Indians, Sir, are waiting at the Gate.
55
Gripe. Conduct them in when you’ve disposed of these.
Catchum. This should have been new-drawn before they enter’d.
[pulling out an Inventory of the whole Goods.
Gripe. What matters that? They cannot read, you know,
And you can read to them in gen’ral Terms.
Enter Ponteach, with several of his Chieftains.
Sharp. Welcome, my Brothers, we are glad to meet you,
60
And hope that you will not repent our coming.
Ponteach. We’re glad to see our Brothers here the English.
If honourable Peace be your Desire,
We’d always have the Hatchet buried deep,
While Sun and Moon, Rivers and Lakes endure,
65
And Trees and Herbs within our Country grow.
But then you must not cheat and wrong the Indians,
Or treat us with Reproach, Contempt, and Scorn;
Else we will raise the Hatchet to the Sky,
And let it never touch the Earth again,
70
Sharpen its Edge, and keep it bright as Silver,
Or stain it red with Murder and with Blood.
Mind what I say, I do not tell you Lies.
Sharp. We hope you have no Reason to complain
That Englishmen conduct to you amiss;
75
We’re griev’d if they have given you Offence,
And fain would heal the Wound while it is fresh,
Lest it should spread, grow painful, and severe.
Ponteach. Your Men make Indians drunk, and then they cheat ’em.
Your Officers, your Colonels, and your Captains
80
Are proud, morose, ill-natur’d, churlish41 Men,
Treat us with Disrespect, Contempt, and Scorn.
I tell you plainly this will never do,
We never thus were treated by the French,
Them we thought bad enough, but think you worse.
85
Sharp. There’s good and bad, you know, in every Nation;
There’s some good Indians, some are the reverse,
Whom you can’t govern, and restrain from ill;
So there’s some Englishmen that will be bad.
You must not mind the Conduct of a few,
90
Nor judge the rest by what you see of them.
Ponteach. If you’ve some good, why don’t you send them here?
These every one are Rogues, and Knaves, and Fools,
And think no more of Indians than of Dogs.
Your King had better send his good Men hither,
95
And keep his bad ones in some other Country;
Then you would find that Indians would do well,
Be peaceable
, and honest in their Trade;
We’d love you, treat you, as our Friends and Brothers,
And Raise the Hatchet42 only in your Cause43
100
Sharp. Our King is very anxious for your Welfare,
And greatly wishes for your Love and Friendship;
He would not have the Hatchet ever raised,
But buried deep, stamp’d down and cover’d o’er,
As with a Mountain that can never move:
105
For this he sent us to your distant Country,
Bid us deliver you these friendly Belts,
[holding out Belts of Wampum.
All cover’d over with his Love and Kindness.
He like a Father loves you as his Children;
And like a Brother wishes you all Good;44
110
We’ll let him know the Wounds that you complain of,
And he’ll be speedy to apply the Cure,
And clear the Path to Friendship, Peace, and Trade.
Ponteach. Your King, I hear’s a good and upright Man,
True to his word, and friendly in his Heart;
115
Not proud and insolent, morose and sour,
Like these his petty Officers and Servants:
I want to see your King, and let him know
What must be done to keep the Hatchet dull,45
And how the Path of Friendship, Peace, and Trade
120
May be kept clean and solid as a Rock.
Sharp. Our King is distant over the great Lake,
But we can quckly send him your Requests;
To which he’ll listen with attentive Ear,
And act as tho’ you told him with your Tongue.
125
Ponteach. Let him know then his People here are Rogues,
And cheat and wrong and use the Indians ill.
Tell him to send good Officers, and call
These proud ill natur’d Fellows from my Country,
And keep his Hunters from my hunting Ground.
130
He must do this, and do it quickly too,
Or he will find the Path between us bloody.
Sharp. Of this we will acquaint our gracious King,
And hope you and your Chiefs will now confirm
A solid Peace as if our King was present;
135
We’re his Ambassadors, and represent him,
And bring these Tokens of his Royal Friendship
To you, your Captains, Chiefs, and valiant Men.
Read Mr. Catchum, you’ve the Inventory.
Catchum. The British King, of his great Bounty, sends
140
To Ponteach, King upon the Lakes, and his Chiefs,
Two hundred, No [aside] a Number of fine Blankets,
Six hundred [aside] Yes, and several Dozen Hatchets,
Twenty thousand [aside] and a Bag of Wampum,
Ponteach, or the Savages of America Page 9