“Oh no,” I whispered.
He stopped moving. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, slapping at his shoulder. “Don’t stop! I’m going to orgasm again!”
“Good. I want to feel you. I want to feel your body squeeze around me, tightening and pulling me in deeper.”
His words tickled my senses, triggering fresh new waves of excitement as he began to move again. I scraped my nails over his back, causing him to jerk and grimace before moving faster, more determined than ever.
“Yes!” I cried out when he hit the right spot for maximum pleasure.
“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so hard,” he ground out the words.
I couldn’t stop what was happening. My body was out of control as the second orgasm crashed over me, harder and more intense than the first. I held on to his biceps as if they would anchor me to the bed. I could hear myself moaning and whimpering from someplace far away. It was his roar and shouts of pleasure that brought me back to the moment.
I reached up and cupped his cheek, his jaw clenched, and his head was thrown back as his hips jackhammered against me. He cursed in English and Greek before his head dropped down, his chin touching his chest before he collapsed over me.
“Holy shit,” he breathed, his chest heaving up and down.
In that moment, reality slammed into me. I looked at the man who was still buried inside me. He dropped a kiss on my forehead before rolling to the side, one arm stretched out while the other folded under his head. I lay there, stiff as a board and feeling completely naked. I was naked, but I felt naked, exposed to my very core.
I sat up, looked around for something to cover myself with, and saw a small blanket folded at the end of the bed. I quickly put it over my breasts and rushed out of the bedroom and into the living room where my clothes had been discarded. Thankfully, I had brought along a change of clothes. I snatched up my bag and headed back down the hallway where I had passed a bathroom.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered, pulling on my clothes. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
It took me less than two minutes to get fully dressed once again. When I pulled open the bathroom door, Rand was just coming out of his bedroom, wearing a pair of underwear and nothing else.
“Is everything okay?” he asked with concern.
“Fine, but I should get home,” I told him, not able to look him directly in the eyes.
“Right now?” he asked with surprise.
I bobbed my head up and down. “I can call a cab if you prefer.”
“Nicole, look at me.”
I took a deep breath and looked at him. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just need to get home,” I said again.
He nodded, clearly not believing me. “Okay, let me get dressed, and I’ll take you home.”
“Thank you.”
He disappeared back in the bedroom. I put my hands over my face, shaking my head with disbelief. I had slept with Alec’s grandson. I couldn’t believe I had done that. I knew better. I wasn’t that type of girl. I didn’t have daytime sex with virtual strangers.
What would Alec think? He’d be so ashamed of me. Or maybe he’d be mad and disappointed. I knew he thought very highly of his grandson and would probably not be thrilled to have him hooking up with the likes of me.
I walked into the living room and picked up my bikini, stuffing it in the bag before sliding on my sandals. I wished I had driven. I would have already made my escape. I was absolutely mortified. I could only imagine what Rand must think of me. He was probably thinking I was an easy lay. One dinner and a little time on the beach, and I’d hop into bed with anyone.
I felt sick to my stomach, guilt making me feel miserable. I stared out at the water and thought about Alec and what he would say. He’d treated me like a daughter, and I felt like I had betrayed him by doing what I did.
“I’m ready,” Rand said from behind me.
“Great,” I answered, trying to sound breezy.
I didn’t look at him. I carried my bag to the door, walking out into the warm sunshine and directly to the passenger side of his car, waiting for him to unlock it. I got in and stared out the window. He got in, started the car, and got the AC going, but he didn’t put it in reverse.
“Nicole,” he said.
I turned to look at him. “Yes?”
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes, fine,” I lied. “I just remembered I have to do laundry, and it’s my turn to do the dishes.”
He nodded. “I see. I had a good time today.”
His statement made me feel dirty. “Good.”
He put the car in reverse and pulled onto the street, driving me back to the modest apartment I shared with Alena. I didn’t fit into Rand’s world. I didn’t live on the beach or drive a car that cost more than what I made in a year. Sleeping with Rand had been a mistake. I wouldn’t let it happen again.
I doubted I would have to worry about him asking for it to happen again. I knew guys like him. They got what they wanted and moved on. I was the help. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I was certainly not interested in a relationship with the prodigal grandson of my late employer.
I had enough problems. I didn’t need to add Rand Mattas to the mix. He parked the car and made like he was going to get out and walk me to the door.
“See you later,” I said and jumped out of the car before he had a chance to say a word.
I jogged up the stairs, not looking back even once. I had to get away. I had to put some distance between myself and the man that had just rocked my world. I closed the door, threw the deadbolt, and leaned against it.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I scolded myself again.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. I hadn’t been thinking at all. I had been feeling. I had let desire lead the way, and that was a stupid mistake. I assured myself it was the last time I would see him.
I wouldn’t have to be reminded of what I had done.
Chapter 13
Rand
I’d taken Adrian up on his offer to take a day or two off. I needed the time to decompress. Plus, I hated the way people looked at me. I could feel their mental pats on my head. Poor, poor, Rand. I hated that feeling. I hated being pitied. I hated the idea of people thinking I was sad or not the strong, carefree, and charismatic guy I portrayed. When that façade slipped, people might see me—the real me. The damaged me.
I sat out on my deck, drinking coffee and mulling over what had happened with Nicole. We had a connection. I knew the sex was good. What I didn’t know was why she practically shut down afterward.
She’d absolutely been on board for it. The insecure part of me wondered if I had just been used for sex. I wasn’t good enough for a woman like her. I was only deserving of shallow, meaningless relationships. My eyes drifted over to the outdoor shower, vividly remembering what it had been like to kiss her under the cool water.
The doorbell rang, startling me out of my little reverie. Maybe it was Nicole. I jumped up and walked barefoot across the cold tile floor and pulled open the door. It was Cade. Shirtless. “What the fuck?” I blurted out.
He scowled at me. “What part confuses you? I have a towel. I’m wearing swim trunks.”
“Where is your damn shirt?” I asked, looking at the man’s doughy stomach. He had a jelly belly after years of sampling his own product.
“I don’t wear a shirt when I swim,” he answered easily.
I opened the door to let him in. “What are you doing here?”
He looked at me. “You have a concussion or something?”
“What?” I asked, feeling like we were having two different conversations.
“I just told you I’m here to swim, to hang out on the beach, hence the attire.” He waved his hand up and down his half-naked body.
I slapped my hand to my forehead. “But why here? On a Monday?”
“You’re here on a Monday.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “It’s always slow on Mondays. I left Jamie in charge. You said you were taking the day off, and I figured you could use a little company.”
“You did, huh?”
“I did. Now quit being rude and offer me something to drink, preferably a cold beer.”
“Cade, it’s ten o’clock in the morning,” I retorted.
“Ah, it is, but we’re playing hooky, and it’s a beach day. It doesn’t matter what time it is.”
I shook my head, knowing there was no point in arguing. He followed me into the kitchen, getting his own beer from the fridge. I chose another cup of coffee. We headed for the deck, each of us taking seats in the lounge chairs, our legs stretched out in front of us, both wearing sunglasses as we soaked up the sun’s rays.
“I had sex with Nicole yesterday,” I blurted out.
He pushed up his sunglasses. “Nicole?”
“The woman from the shop.”
“The woman who tried to kill you, who slobbered all over my door?”
I rolled my eyes, not even bothering to turn my head to look at him. “She didn’t try to kill me, and she certainly didn’t drool on your door.”
“She left prints.”
“Really?” I snapped irritably. “That’s the part you want to talk about?”
He chuckled. “I’m just giving you shit. How did that come about?”
I sighed, shaking my head. “I don’t know. We went out to dinner and had a really good time. I invited her over for the day. Then we had sex. Then she wanted to go home.”
“In that order?”
“Yes, like almost immediately after we’d finished, she said she needed to get home,” I complained.
“Hmm.”
“Hmm? What does that mean?”
“It means you should probably get better at it,” he said dryly.
I growled. “Why are you here again?”
He laughed, sitting up in the chair and turning to face me. “Did you try talking to her? Cuddle with her? Women like to cuddle and bask in the afterglow.”
I sat up and pushed my sunglasses up to look at him. “And you know this from your vast experience?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not a virgin, and I’ve never had a woman get up and run out the door after good sex.”
I pulled my sunglasses back down and stretched out on the chair again. “Something felt off. We’d been talking and friendly, and I felt like we had a real connection. It was gone in an instant. I don’t get it.”
“You said she was close to your grandfather?”
I nodded once. “Yes. I think she thought of him like her own grandfather.”
He made a choking sound. “Gross. Isn’t that incestuous?”
“We’re not actually related, asshole,” I shot back.
“If she thought of him like a family member, she’s mourning. Her getting up and running out of here might not have anything to do with you. It could be her working through her grief. Not everything is about you. Asshole.”
I grinned, appreciating a friend that could be called an asshole and return the favor with no hard feelings. “She could have said that.”
“I’m guessing you’re not a real touchy feely guy that wants to talk about his feelings,” he said. “I don’t think it’s a stretch to think she’s figured that out. If you want her to stick around, you might have to let her know you miss him too. Let her know you’re sad and miss him.”
I didn’t like that option at all. That was about the last thing I wanted to do. It was going to take me a while before I opened up and talked to anyone about all those things that made me feel. Feeling wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
“I’ll give her a few days and reach out,” I mumbled.
“There you go,” he said sarcastically. “Repress, deny, ignore, avoid. That is a very healthy, adult way to deal with issues.”
I ignored him. “I’m hungry. I have a couple steaks I’ll grill.” I got up from the chair.
His laughter followed me inside. “Just like that,” he hollered.
I didn’t answer him. He was right. There was a time and place to deal with emotional baggage. I just hadn’t found it yet. I wasn’t sure I was looking for it. I pulled the steaks out of the fridge. I had kind of anticipated him stopping by and put two in the fridge to marinate last night. I carried the steaks out to the grill, handing Cade another beer as I went by.
“Thanks, sweetie,” he cooed.
I put the steaks on the grill, my mind drifting as I watched them sizzle. The smell of seasoned meat filled the back-deck area.
“Why don’t you make yourself useful and get some plates?” I asked.
He made a big show of sighing and putting his beer down on the small table. “I’m your guest. Do you always ask your guests to do things for you?”
“You’re an uninvited guest,” I quipped.
He chuckled, his big body disappearing inside the house. He returned a couple minutes later with plates and silverware before heading back inside. When he returned, he had the container of potato salad I had picked up from a local market on my way back from dropping Nicole off. He’d obviously been doing some digging in my kitchen and found the crusty rolls and honey butter.
Cade was comfortable in my house. I didn’t mind.
“Ready, boss,” he said with a smile.
“Good, steaks are a perfect medium rare,” I announced, very pleased with my grilling skills as I pulled the hunks of beef off the grill and onto a plate.
I had to admit, it was nice to have company. We dished up with the salad before slathering one of the fresh rolls with the gourmet butter.
“Damn, you’ll make someone a damn good wife one of these days,” he said with a laugh.
“I thought you were my wife,” I said with a wink. “You’re always nagging me, always wanting me to talk about my feelings, always bossing me around in general.”
“I nag because I care,” he said in an exaggerated falsetto.
I chuckled, taking another bite of the steak and letting the flavors burst on my tongue. It was a mighty good steak. I had always enjoyed cooking and even thought about culinary school at one point.
Cade put his napkin on his plate and pushed it away.
I looked at the plate and then him. “That’s it? You don’t want more bread or salad?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I’m watching what I eat.”
“Seriously?” I asked with surprise.
He slowly nodded, putting a hand on his belly. “While I’ve enjoyed this hard-earned body, I’m ready to get in shape.”
“That’s awesome, man. I’m proud of you. Is there anything I can do to help?”
In the back of my mind, I hoped I wasn’t the reason for his sudden change in diet. I often ribbed him about his size, but it was all in fun. At least, it had been fun for me.
“I’m here to take advantage of your beach. I figure a little swimming would be good exercise. Plus, I need to start working on my game. I’m going to be fighting off the ladies with a stick soon.” He grinned.
“You’re pretty confident in yourself,” I joked.
“I’ve always been confident. Now I’m going to be a little cocky, just like my good friend Rand.” He winked.
“I am not cocky,” I argued.
“Bullshit. You know you are.”
I laughed. “Maybe a little. Seriously, what I can do to help you out?”
He shook his head. “This is my journey. I got here on my own, and I’m going to have to get back to fighting form on my own. All I ask is a little moral support when I’ve had to turn down a meatball sub, and the use of your beach a few times a week.”
“Done,” I said. “Absolutely. Maybe I can teach you to surf. You’ve always said you wanted to try. We can make it happen.”
He chuckled. “Let’s take this one step at a time. I’m still going to sink. Maybe I’ll float with my own personal buoy system.”
&nb
sp; “I know you’ve got this,” I encouraged. “You’re going to lose the weight in no time.”
“I hope so. I don’t have a lot of patience. If I don’t see results, I’ll give up. I guess you and I are a lot alike in that way.”
I wrinkled my brow. “What does that mean?”
“It means you don’t have patience to see where a relationship can go,” he said. “You burn hot and fast, and when the flame slows, you don’t try to feed it. You get up and walk away. You don’t have the patience to push through the boring stuff and rekindle things.”
I looked at him with surprise. “Wow. That’s deep. Profound.”
“I run deep. You just don’t know me all that well.”
“Shit, I would say not. Let’s go walk the beach. We’ll get started on that beach bod right now.”
He groaned. “But I just ate.”
“We’re walking,” I told him. “We’ll get in the water after it’s all settled.”
If he needed encouragement, I was there to give it. A walk along the beach was what I needed. It would give me some time to do a little soul searching.
Cade had given me a lot to think about.
Chapter 14
Nicole
I sighed a long, dramatic sigh and stared up at the ceiling. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I also didn’t want to be in bed, which left me miserable. I knew if I just got my ass up, I could get out of my funk. I couldn’t explain my funk. I was just feeling blah. There was a knock on my bedroom door. I groaned.
“I’m coming in,” Alena called.
I groaned again. She pushed open the door, her hands on her hips as she stared at me. “What are you doing?”
“The hokey pokey,” I retorted.
She narrowed her eyes. “Stop. I have to run to the store. Do you want to go? And don’t say no.”
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