“You’re welcome, Lo,” he murmured, dropping his hand and reaching for Gavin. Maggie rose, scurrying from the room, and he settled in Maggie’s place.
“She didn’t have to leave,” Lorena protested, her hand holding the ice-filled compress to her cheek.
Chuckling, Declan kissed the top of Gavin’s head. “Aye, she did. She knew we needed a few moments together.” When he paused, staring deeply at her, she ducked her head, breaking eye contact with him. “Why are you embarrassed?”
Shaking her head, she whispered, “I’m not embarrassed.” She dared to look at him through a sheen of tears, making her eyes appear the color of jade. “I’m ashamed. My own sister hit me. Treated me with such disregard.” She lost her battle with her deep emotions, and a tear coursed down her cheek.
Declan settled Gavin in his arms, as the boy tumbled into sleep, and focused all his attention on the woman sitting beside him. “That is her shame, Lorena, not yours.”
She shook her head. “It’s always been mine. Any problem we’ve ever had has always been my fault.” She exhaled a deep, shaky breath. “It’s all the worse now because I won’t do what she expects me to do.”
He rocked Gavin in his arms, the motion soothing him as much as it did his son. “You mean, you won’t be her puppet?” At her startled gaze, he shrugged. “I know what bullies are and how they act. And your youngest sister is a bully, Lorena.”
Lorena readjusted her hold on the compress, whispering, “She’s a lot like Mama.”
Reaching forward, he gripped the hand that she held fisted on the table. “Then I’d give thanks you’re nothin’ like your mama.” He met her shocked gaze. “For, if she was like Winnifred, she wasn’t a nice woman.” He paused. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t speak against your mother. I never knew her.”
“No one ever speaks against Mama,” Lorena whispered. “And I think that’s part of the problem. None of us dared. And we should have dared. For she was cruel and vindictive and controlling.” She closed her eyes. “And I allowed her to ruin my life.”
Declan made a sound of disagreement. “From where I’m sitting, your life isn’t ruined. You’ve a business, friends who are like family, and you’re still young yet.” He stared at her a long moment. “You’ve your life ahead of you. Count your blessings.” He rose, taking Gavin with him and leaving her alone in the kitchen.
Lorena sat in deep contemplation, as she thought about her relationship with her mother. She never would have thought herself capable of criticizing her mother. However, in the past year, she had found an intrinsic strength she hadn’t known she had. And a sense of worth her mother had hoped she’d never discover. “Oh, Mama,” she whispered, as she held the now sodden compress to her face, “why couldn’t you have loved me as I was? As I am?” She battled a deep desire that she’d known a mother’s love like that of Mary O’Rourke and wondered how different her life would be now, if only she’d been shown love, rather than contempt.
* * *
A few days later, Declan entered the kitchen, pausing as he heard peals of laughter coming from the living room area. He poked his head around the doorway from the kitchen, his breath catching at the sight of Lorena holding Gavin high in the air, as she beamed up into his chubby face, while he chortled with glee. Mum, Maggie, and Samantha were in the room, all sewing or knitting, as they told stories and enjoyed each other’s company. Feeling like an intruder, Declan had no desire to interrupt their afternoon together, although he yearned for such moments with Gavin. He didn’t have nearly as much time as he would like with his son since returning home.
Focusing again on Lorena, Declan caught his breath at the adoration in her gaze, as she now held Gavin on her lap, him facing the room and playing with a spoon she held. He tried to master the art of putting it in his mouth but continually missed. He drooled on her fingers and had drool dripping down his jaw too. Rather than be upset, Lorena soothed him and pulled out a clean cloth to swipe at his face, allowing him to gnaw on her finger. “I think the little man is teething,” she murmured.
“Aye,” Mary said, as she glanced in her grandson’s direction. “If it were winter, ’twould be easier for the lad. We could freeze cloths outside, and he could suck on them. But ’tisn’t possible in this Montana summer.”
“You’ll be all right, Gavin darling,” Lorena soothed, as she kissed his head. “Soon you’ll have big strong teeth, and you’ll be able to eat food, like we do.”
“Yum,” Maggie said in a sing-song voice that made Gavin giggle. “Cake that Mum or Deirdre makes. That’ll be your favorite.”
Declan continued to watched Lorena with his son, battling a deep yearning that he had met a woman like her rather than Magnolia. That Gavin would have a mother who loved and cherished him, rather than no one. Unbidden, a vision of his ideal life floated through his mind. Coming home every day to a house filled with laughter, joy, and love. Where his children never doubted how much they were adored. He sighed. Where Gavin never doubted how much he was cherished.
Shaking his head, Declan turned to silently exit the house. He sat on the back steps, sitting in the shade, as the image of his perfect life taunted him. Teased him with all that he desired and all that he still did not have. All that he feared he would never have.
Taking another deep breath, he finally admitted to himself that, in this dream, he saw Lorena greeting him when he arrived home. Lorena with children around her, laughing and smiling. Lorena working at her store, discussing whatever interested her that day, as he found a reason to spend time in her presence.
Always Lorena.
Chapter 8
A few weeks had passed since the opening of her bookstore, and Lorena was now accustomed to Declan’s company. Although he had promised she wouldn’t know he would be present, on the second day of business, he had begun chatting with her about an array of topics and hadn’t stopped chattering since. Never in her life had she met someone who matched her inquisitive mind or who thrilled at her desire for constant learning.
She looked up from her perch on a stool to smile at the captain, who had taken an interest in the O’Rourkes wandering into her store. “Hello, sir.”
He smiled at her and doffed his cap, sending his too long hair in all directions. After he smoothed it down with a chuckle, he continued to smile at her impishly. “I thought the magpie would be here.”
“I’m afraid I don’t have a magpie as a pet. I can’t imagine such a bird would be content in a cage.”
“It’s A.J., miss, or Mr. A.J., if ye feel a need to be formal with your customers.” He scratched at his head. “I can’t imagine any bird likes bein’ caged, do you?” At her shake of her head, he chortled. “I meant your young suitor. Sonny.”
“Sonny?” Lorena asked, before sputtering out, “Suitor? I have no suitor, sir. I’ll never marry. I’m a spinster.”
“You young’uns have such odd notions about yourselves. I might not look old, but I sure do feel it sometimes. Spent too much time as a river rat.” He looked at her speculatively. “An’ I know a thing or two about courtship. How else do you think I married my Bessie?” When Lorena continued to stare at him dazedly, he said, “That O’Rourke boy, Declan, whether he knows it or not, he’s got his eye on you.” He nodded with delight when she gasped. “An’ it appears you have yours on him.”
“I have no such thing!” Lorena held a hand to her heaving chest, suddenly feeling light-headed and out of breath. “He spends time here merely because his father instructed him to.”
“No man finds delight in a woman because his papa orders it. A man tends to become ornery when commanded to do something he doesn’t want to do.” When she remained silent, he asked, “You tellin’ me that he doesn’t like bein’ here? That he wishes he were somewhere else?”
“No, it’s never like that.” She flushed. “He’s a friend, Mr. A.J. Nothing more.”
A.J. wandered to the crates that acted like bookshelves, perusing the titles. “I’ve always liked a good adv
enture story. Do you have anything I might like?”
She approached with a small stack of books by the publisher Beadle. “Have you read these?”
He flipped through them, picking one of the dime novels. “I like the sounds of this one. Intrigue. Murder. A chance for redemption.” He placed it on the counter. “How much?”
“Fifty cents.” She met his raised eyebrow. “Shipping isn’t cheap.”
“Robbery ain’t cheap either,” he muttered, as he slapped two coins on the counter. “An’ next time, tell a customer it’s two bits. You’ll sound more like one of us an’ not so uppity.”
“Uppity?” she asked, her back straightening with affront.
He chuckled as he picked up his book. “Aye, uppity.” He looked around. “An’ don’t defend your price. If I don’t want to pay it, I’ll turn tail an’ walk away.” He waved his hand in the air, as though to indicate moving away. “Take pride in what you’ve built, miss. I’m sure your mama would be proud of you.”
Lorena froze at the words, her smile forced. “I wish you were correct, sir. But I fear you would be mistaken.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t come from a family like the O’Rourkes.”
A.J. tapped the spine of his book against the counter as he studied her. “Now, miss, who does?” He shook his head. “I ain’t met a family that big but that congevial in all my travels.”
She stilled, her gaze focused on him. “Congevial? Do you mean convivial? Congenial?”
He nodded. “Aye, you’re as smart as Sonny at playing my game. My Bessie would love you.” He sighed. “And your mama’s a fool for not seein’ what a gem you are.” He paused as he gazed at her in an assessing manner. “My bet is that she only focused on your beauty. Thought your brains were a burden, not a blessin’.”
Her mouth dropped open, as she stared at him. “How did you know that?”
Shrugging, A.J. said, “Doesn’t take no genius after spendin’ a miserable few minutes with that youngest sister of yours. If she’s anythin’ like your mama …” He shook his head. “There are those who are afraid of intelligence an’ those who know beauty only gets you so far. You need brains too.” He winked at her. “Although bein’ pretty ain’t a bad thing.”
Against her will, she burst out laughing. “You’re incorrigible, aren’t you?”
He puffed out his chest and hooked the fingers of one hand through his suspenders. “Aye. It’s harder than it looks, an’ it’s taken a lifetime of practice.” When she laughed again, he smiled. “You need to laugh more, miss.” He raised his book. “I’ll be back soon to swap this one out. Don’t linger too late, miss.” He held his book up again in a salute, as he sauntered away, whistling a jaunty tune.
* * *
Declan sat at the family dinner table, waiting for his siblings to arrive, while casting furtive glances at the kitchen door. He hadn’t seen Lorena enter, but, after she had sent him away, insistent that she was fine in her own store, he didn’t want to appear too overbearing. However, he knew he wouldn’t be at ease until she had returned and was seated down the table from him.
The younger lads entered, chattering a mile a minute about the goings on at the levee. Declan caught Bryan’s youthful voice excitedly telling the tale of a fight and a man falling into the Missouri. “They thought he’d float, but he was weighted down with gold from the mining camps,” Bryan said, his green eyes lit with wonder at the thought. “Men dove in to save him in an attempt to recover the gold!”
“Sure you’re makin’ that up, lad,” Seamus said with an indulgent look, as he beheld his youngest son.
“No, Da, I swear!” Bryan said with youthful enthusiasm, now sitting on his knees as he prepared to expound on his tale. He beamed as his older brothers Oran and Henri nodded to give credence to what he said. “He fell in with the most wondrous plop and started screaming about his boots. That they were loaded with gold dust, and he’d drown.”
“He was sinking pretty fast,” Oran muttered.
“Ol’ A.J. threw in an empty cask for him to tie himself to, and that began to sink also!” Bryan said, acting like he was sinking under the table. “But it had enough air in it to keep him afloat.”
“Who got his boots?” Declan asked, inadvertently charmed by his youngest brother’s story.
“A.J. got one, and the man kept the other. Seemed only fair the captain would receive one boot, after saving the man’s life.”
Declan shared an amused look with his da, hiding a smile behind a sip of tea. “Aye, only fair.” He glanced at his mother and Maggie, chatting quietly by the stove. “Mum, how long ’til supper?”
“Oh, only a few more minutes, although I’d prefer to wait for Lorena and your brothers.” She pushed a strand of hair behind one ear. “’Tisn’t like Lorena to be so late.”
Declan rose. “I’ll go. Ensure she hasn’t started reading a book and forgotten the time.” He winked at his mum, slipping out the back door. Sniffing at the air, he frowned at his neighbors lighting their chimneys in the summer. Usually only a soft hint of woodsmoke lingered in the air from the stoves, but a heavy scent permeated the evening breeze. He whistled as he turned from the backyard and headed in the direction of the bookstore.
He looked up at the sound of a crash, his pace faltering at the sight of a flame kissing up the front doorway of the bookshop. “Fire!” he screamed. “Fire!” he bellowed over and over, as he raced to the store. Just as he arrived, a beam fell, blocking the front entrance.
He ran to the back, noting the flames remained at the front of the store, although he knew they would spread quickly with the flammable books and dry wood framing of the store. He jerked on the windows, swearing when he remembered they didn’t open. “Lorena! Lo!” He was about to break a window with a fist covered with his jacket when Kevin sprinted around the side of the building with an ax, Niall on his heels.
Kevin swung the ax a few times, easily splintering the flimsy wood. Niall and Declan kicked at it, making a large enough opening for Declan to ease through. He heard his brothers continue to work on widening the opening, as he entered the smoke-filled space. “Lo!” he called out and then coughed, as his lungs filled with smoke.
Glancing at the front of the store, he prayed she wasn’t there, as flames licked the ceiling, and it threatened to collapse any moment. As he approached the counter, he saw her huddled behind it, her shawl over her head. “Lo,” he gasped. “Come, love.”
Unconscious, she fell toward him like a rag doll. Catching her, he grunted, as he lifted her into his arms, ducking over her to protect her from flying embers and falling debris, as something hard hit his back. Smoke filled his gaze, and he felt as though he were being roasted alive from the heat. After a few halting steps, he approached the now widened opening, handing Lorena out, trusting one of his brothers would be there to take her.
When his arms were free, he stumbled outside, tripping on a piece of wood and falling to his knees, as a coughing fit overcame him. He watched, tears streaming down his soot-covered cheeks, as Ardan ran with Lorena in his arms in the direction of his parents’ house.
“Lo,” he rasped, sighing with pleasure when Lucien pressed a cup of water to his lips. After his throat was soothed, he whispered again, “Lo.”
Seamus passed off his bucket to another man and knelt in front of Declan. “You know your mum and sisters will look after her. Let’s get you cleaned up, and then perhaps you’ll be able to see her too.” Seamus heaved him up, easing a shoulder below Declan’s to keep him from falling. After Lucien supported Declan on the other side, he walked toward his parents’ house.
With a glance over his shoulder, Declan murmured, “Will any of it be saved?”
“Nay,” Seamus said, with a murmur of regret. “I’m only thankful we won’t be havin’ a funeral.”
Declan shivered at the thought, leaning heavily on his da, as he made his slow way back to his family’s home.
* * *
“Declan!” Maggie said, as he stumbled into
the kitchen with his father’s aid. “Sit down, and let me look at you.”
“Nay, Maggie, help Lorena. She’s much worse than I am,” he gasped, as he winced, sitting down and arching forward, so his back wouldn’t touch the chair.
“Oh, you eejit,” Maggie snapped. “She’s upstairs with Mama and Nora. They’ll call me if they need help, but I suspect all she needs is time to overcome the smoke she inhaled.” She looked at her brother, shaking and pale in the chair reserved for their father, and reached for a pair of scissors. “Whereas you, you’re a mess.”
Ignoring his protests, she cut away his jacket, waistcoat, and shirt, nodding her thanks when Da helped strip them off Declan. “Oh, Dec,” she breathed, as she saw the long line of singed flesh on his back. She reached forward, touching the very edge of the burn, stilling her movement when he hissed in a breath. “’Tis already blisterin’,” she murmured.
“What can I do?” Seamus asked her.
“Find more ice,” she said, as she bustled around the kitchen, opening up a portion of the pantry reserved for her herbs.
“Find A.J.,” Declan gasped out, murmuring his thanks as Maggie handed him a cup of water. “He’ll help you. Crain wouldn’t sell me ice when I needed it for Lorena.”
Seamus nodded, squeezing Declan’s arm and then kissing Maggie’s forehead. “I’ll return as soon as I can.”
Maggie boiled water for tea and placed a cold compress on his back. At his sharp inhalation, she whispered, “I’m sorry, Dec.”
“Don’t apologize for helpin’ me, Maggie.” He gazed at her in confusion. “I never realized you were a healer.”
She shrugged. “I love it, but I only practice on family. I’ve had no formal training, and, with Chaffee running lose, he’d relish any reason he could find to sue me for harming someone.”
Pioneer Bliss: The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga, Book Five Page 8