“Don’t leave, Lorena. Whatever you do, promise me that you won’t leave.” She paused until Lorena nodded her agreement. “You know that feeling you described, of feeling precious to him?” When Lorena gave a subtle nod, Deirdre beamed at her, holding a hand to her heart, uncaring that she smeared dough on her apron. “Hold that feeling here, Lorena, and don’t allow it to burn out. For I know O’Rourke men, and I know he’ll find a way to reconcile with you. Don’t doubt him.”
Lorena forced a smiled and turned back to the pan of dishes, her mind filled with imaginings of a harmonious life with Declan. Although she tried to cling to the hope Deirdre attempted to impart, Lorena knew it was fleeting and that, too soon, she would find herself alone in her bed again, dreaming of feeling safe and cherished in her husband’s arms. How she wished it were all more than a dream.
* * *
Lorena sat on a bench she had placed by the back window, staring at the clouds changing color as evening slowly arrived. She loved the long twilights here. The way the clouds had a tinge of pink on their undersides, as the sun had one last gasp of brilliance before falling over the horizon. Hugging her knees to her chest, she wondered if that was all she and Declan would have. One tiny bit of brilliance before the bitterness and distrust ruined all they were trying to create.
Anger, disbelief, and hurt filled her as she considered the past weeks. Although she tried to stay busy working in Deirdre’s kitchen, she was unable to avoid Declan completely. And, if she were honest with herself, she longed for the glimpses of him she had. She yearned to squeeze his hand, to lean into him at the kitchen table, to tease him about his ever-longer hair and untamed beard. Instead she sat with a remote sullenness, as though his presence was distasteful.
A tear coursed down her cheek, as she remembered the early days of her marriage. Of the joyful glint in his eyes every time he saw her. Of his solicitude. His almost desperate need to ensure she was well. Now she wondered if he would notice if she left.
She had mentioned to Deirdre the possibility of leaving, but Lorena knew in her heart that she didn’t want to. She wanted to remain here, with her husband. If only he wanted her too. Letting out a deep sigh, she tugged her knees even closer to herself and rocked a little bit, wishing his arms were around her. She closed her eyes, imagining the sensation of being in his arms again. Of breathing in his musky scent again. “Oh, Declan,” she whispered.
“What, lass?” he whispered, so near she felt his breath on her temple.
Shrieking, she spun and gaped at him. “Declan!” she gasped, holding a hand to her heart, as she attempted to catch her breath. “What are you doing here?”
He knelt by the bench, his blue eyes intense in the fading daylight. “My wife is here. I’ve spent too much time away from her.”
With her eyes filling with tears, she asked in a tear-choked voice, “I thought you’d found another. That you …” She shook her head, unable to speak the words.
“Never,” he growled, as though she had spoken a blasphemy. “Never, my love. How can you think me so fickle?”
Her eyes widened, and the shock and joy of his appearance transmuted into fury. “How could I not?” She tapped him on his shoulder. “You ignore me. You won’t touch me. You refuse to spend a moment in my company, unless you’re at your parents’ house for a meal. I doubt you’ve thought of me at all since that day.”
His blue eyes lit with indignation. “I haven’t thought of you at all?” he bellowed. He rose, gripping her hand. “Come with me.” After ensuring she had shoes on, he tugged her down the stairs, out the back door, and across a field. “Watch for gopher holes, love,” he murmured, steering her clear of a few places where she would have twisted an ankle. When she shivered in the cooling night air, he shrugged out of his jacket and placed it over her. Soon he paused his mad dash away from town and stopped.
Lorena held a hand on her hip as she gaped at a half-completed building. “I don’t understand what this is.”
He waved at her. “Your new store.”
Her eyes widened, and she held a hand to her mouth. “No. You can’t. It’s too much,” she stammered out, as she unconsciously walked toward it. “Can I go inside?” she asked with a childlike delight, as she was unable to hide her glee.
He smiled at her joy. “Of course. Let me show you what I envision.” He gripped her hand and helped her inside. “This would be the main area, where you’d showcase and sell your books. We’ll brick this part of the wall for the potbellied stove,” he said, as he motioned to a sidewall near the back. “That way, you’ll always be warm, even when you sell books in the middle of winter.”
With a gentle tug, he pulled her through a doorframe. “This is my space,” he said. “Where I’ll tutor children from town.”
“Oh, Declan, what a brilliant idea. You have so much to share with the children here.” She beamed at him, her smile fading, as she looked deeply into his eyes. “The walls seem taller than we need them to be.”
He grinned at her. “’Tis because we’ll have two stories. We’ll live upstairs.”
“Oh, how perfect,” she said, with a contented sigh, before frowning. “I have no books. I have no reason for a store.”
“Ah, ’tisn’t true,” he murmured, as he rubbed at his neck. “I was helpin’ to clean up the warehouse after our argument …” He paused, flushing at the memory. “And I found crates of books that had been overlooked. Seems they came in a later shipment, and Niall never mentioned them to me.”
“I have more books?” she asked with excitement.
“Aye, not nearly as many as before but some. Enough for a start.” He grunted, as she threw herself into his arms. With a sigh, he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in deeply of her scent. “God, I’ve missed you, lass.”
She pushed away, shaking her head, as she stared at him with hurt and hope fighting for supremacy. “Why do you believe this is enough?” she asked, waving her arm around at the building site.
He patted at his head and then at his beard. “I’m sorry I didn’t shave and see the barber.”
“No, Declan,” she said, her gaze filled with confusion. “I don’t care what you look like. I don’t care if you have hair so long I could tie it into a braid. Or a beard I could braid.” She smiled with a tender sadness. “Why did you run from me? Why have you been so cold?” When he stared at her in strained silence, she asked in a broken voice, “Did you even mean it?”
He yanked her to him, his fingers digging into her hair, as he held her so tightly she couldn’t move. “Of course I meant it. I love you.” He paused a moment as he stared into her eyes, waiting for her to say something. Finally, he whispered, “You called me a fool.”
Her expression softened, as she relaxed under his tight grip. “No, Declan,” she murmured, her fingers running through his longer hair. She stood on her toes and ran her lips over his unkempt beard. “No. I called myself foolish. Never you.”
“What?” he whispered.
She cupped his face, holding him in as an implacable hold as he held her. “I realized I’d been such a fool to ever doubt you. To ever worry whether you loved me.” Her gaze held a deep sorrow. “Then you ran away, and the doubts assailed me again.”
“Oh, my love,” Declan whispered, as he ran his fingers over her silky cheek. “I swear I love you. I hoped you could come to love me when I finished building your new store.” She shook her head, and the hope in his gaze dimmed. “Nay?” he rasped. “It won’t be enough?” He let out a deep breath. “Tell me what I have to do, Lo. I’ll do it.”
“Shh,” she whispered, her eyes full of compassion. “Don’t beg,” she pleaded, resting her head against his chest and kissing the underside of his jaw.
His breath hitched in and out of him. “For you, I will.” He attempted to step away from her, but she clung to him like a burr.
“I will not let you run away again, my Declan,” she vowed. “I will not let you misinterpret what I mean again.” She held on tight, as s
he waited for him to meet her fervent gaze. “There is nothing you have to do to earn my love, for you already have it. If this all burned down tonight and if the crates of books were thrown into the Missouri, it would not lessen my love for you.”
“Lo,” he rasped, as he ran a hand down her long neck to her shoulder.
“I love you, Declan, as you are. You are a wonderful father, son, brother.” She stood on her toes again, kissing him softly. “And husband.”
He stared at her with a regret-filled gaze. “I haven’t been a good husband to you these past weeks.”
She covered his lips with her fingers, shaking her head as she smiled at him. “No, beloved, don’t dwell on our misunderstanding.” She swallowed. “Promise me that, in the future, you’ll talk with me and trust me with your fears.”
He kissed her fingers, whispering, “I promise.” He paused as he stared deeply into her eyes. “I promise to believe in us. To honor you. And to cherish this love that is growing between us.”
She cupped his face. “Oh, Declan, I do too.” She glanced around the half-built building. “Together I know we will have the most wondrous life, sharing it all with Gavin.”
“Ah, love, of that I have no doubt.”
* * *
Read on for a Sneak Peek at Maggie and Dunmore’s story, Pioneer Devotion. Order Now and Available in May 2021!
Sneak Peek at Pioneer Devotion!
Fort Benton, Montana Territory, June 1868
“Stay away from my daughter.”
The words repeated again and again in Dunmore’s mind as he stared at his horses while they plodded along the primitive wagon road that would return him to Fort Benton. He ignored the prattling of the man beside him who was desperate to return to civilization and leave the wilds of the Territory behind him. Dunmore suspected the man had beggared himself rather than earning the riches he’d imagined. His coach was full of such men and he knew he’d have a busy season ferrying men around the Territory. None of that mattered now.
The momentary respite of thinking of something other than Seamus O’Rourke’s edict ended as he again thought about the conversation he’d had with the man before leaving his hometown of Fort Benton a few weeks ago. Somehow, Seamus had learned of his passionate embrace with his youngest daughter, Maggie. After years of patience on Dunmore’s part, Seamus had extracted a promise of more time.
He grunted in disbelief. “More time,” he muttered. If there was one thing he never took for granted, it was the guarantee for more time. He sat in disillusioned silence as images of his beloved Maggie filled his vision. Her impish smile. Her eyes gleaming with triumph when she found a successful treatment to help a family member who was ailing. The warm glow in her gaze as she stared at him. Taking a deep breath, he banished his memories of their embrace. Of her kisses. He knew if he thought of them, he’d never honor his promise.
He only hoped Maggie would understand.
* * *
Order Now! Pioneer Devotion Available to Read May 2021!
Ramona’s Reader’s Note
It was a roller coaster of a ride writing this novel, as I brought back a beloved character from the Banished Saga. Mr. Pickens was a wise old man in that series, and during a brainstorming session with my dad, he had the brilliant idea of bringing Mr. Pickens back. He didn’t have to twist my arm, as Mr. Pickens had always been one of my favorite characters. Now, in the O’Rourke Saga, he’s a much younger man, and it was so much fun writing Mr. Pickens as a man in his thirties. It was also one of the last brilliant ideas my dad shared with me before he passed away, so it’s a precious memory for me. I hope you enjoyed Mr. Pickens as much as I enjoyed writing him.
Thank you, dear reader, for your emails, messages and never-ending enthusiasm for the books I write. None of this would be possible without you and I am incredibly grateful.
Don’t forget to join my newsletter to stay up to date with releases and news about my life in Montana!
My family is always interested in all that I do and are my greatest champions. Thank you for cheering me on, especially when I’m having days when I am floundering.
Thank you, DB, for you boundless support and enthusiasm for all of my projects. You’re such a great cheerleader- thank you!
Thank you, Jenny Q, for another amazing cover!
Also by Ramona Flightner
The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga
Follow the O’Rourke Family as they settle in Fort Benton, Montana Territory in 1860’s.
Sign up here to receive the prequel, Pioneer Adventure to the new Saga as a thank you for subscribing to my newsletter!
Pioneer Adventure (Prequel)
Pioneer Dream (OFMS, Book 1)- Kevin and Aileen
Pioneer Desire- (OFMS, Book 2)- Ardan and Deirdre
Pioneer Yearning- (OFMS, Book 3) Niamh and Cormac
Pioneer Longing (OFMS, Book 4)- Eamon and Phoebe
Pioneer Bliss (OFMS, Book 5) Declan and Lorena
Pioneer Devotion (OFMS, Book 6) Maggie and Dunmore- Coming Soon!
Bear Grass Springs Series
Never fear, I am busy at work on the next book in the series! If you want to make sure you never miss a release, a special, a cover reveal, or a short story just for my fans, sign up for my newsletter!
Immerse yourself in 1880’s Montana as the MacKinnon siblings and their extended family find love!
Montana Untamed (BGS, Book 1) Cailean and Annabelle
Montana Grit (BGS, Book 2) Alistair and Leticia
Montana Maverick (BGS, Book 3) Ewan and Jessamine
Montana Renegade(BGS, Book 4) Warren and Helen
Jubilant Montana Christmas (BGS, Book 5) Leena and Karl
Montana Wrangler (BGS, Book 6) Sorcha and Frederick
Unbridled Montana Passion (BGS, Book 7) Fidelia and Bears
Montana Vagabond (BGS, Book 8) Jane and Ben
Exultant Montana Christmas (BGS, Book 9) Ewan and Jessamine
Lassoing a Montana Heart, (BGS, Book 10)- Slims and Davina
Healing Montana Love (BGS Book 11)- Dalton and Charlotte
Runaway Montana Groom (BGS, Book 12) Peter and Philomena- Coming Soon!
Substitute Montana Bride (BGS Book 13) Coming in 2021!
The Banished Saga
Follow the McLeod, Sullivan and Russell families as they find love, their loyalties are tested, and they overcome the challenges of their time. A sweeping saga set between Boston and Montana in early 1900’s America.
The Banished Saga: (In Order)
Love’s First Flames (Prequel)
Banished Love (Banished Saga, Book One)
Reclaimed Love (Banished Saga, Book Two)
Undaunted Love(Banished Saga, Book Three) (Part One)
Undaunted Love (Banished Saga, Book Three) (Part Two)
Tenacious Love (Banished Saga, Book Four)
Unrelenting Love (Banished Saga, Book Five)
Escape To Love (Banished Saga, Book Six)
Resilient Love (Banished Saga, Book Seven)
Abiding Love (Banished Saga, Book Eight)
Triumphant Love (Banished Saga, Book Nine)
About the Author
Ramona is a historical romance author who loves to immerse herself in research as much as she loves writing. A native of Montana, every day she marvels that she gets to live in such a beautiful place. When she’s not writing, her favorite pastimes are fly fishing the cool clear streams of a Montana river, hiking in the mountains, and spending time with family and friends.
Ramona’s heroines are strong, resilient women, the type of women you’d love to have as your best friend. Her heroes are loyal and honorable, men you’d love to meet or bring home to introduce to your family for Sunday dinner. She hopes her stories bring the past alive and allow you to forget the outside world for a while.
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Pioneer Bliss: The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga, Book Five Page 20