Isle of View

by Piers Anthony

  She nodded. "That, too."

  "I don't understand you!"

  "Well, you're only human," she said condescendingly. "Worse, you're only male."

  "So I'm just going to ignore you and go on with my search."

  "Lotsa luck, obtuse."

  "What?"

  "Acute, right, oblique, reflex, angle—no, wait. I mean dull, uninformed, slow-witted, blunt, dense—"

  "Stupid?"

  "Thank you." She floated forward and kissed him on the forehead. "Stupid."

  Somehow Dolph was not completely satisfied. But he realized that it was pointless to keep talking with her. He resumed his search for Che.

  Soon he completed his spiral around the Region of Air, having found nothing. He approached the Region of Earth, and drifted through the border between them.

  This section was just as violent, but in a different way. The air cleared and the sandstorm died out, but now it was the land in motion. It trembled, quivered, and even went so far as to shake. To the north was a giant volcano spewing out red liquid.

  "That's boiling lava," the demoness said beside him. "I don't think you want to put your feet in that."

  "It won't hurt ghost feet."

  "But the hot gases may dissolve you."

  Dolph thought she was just teasing him, but wasn't quite sure. He had never tried his ghost form—or any other form—in volcanic gas. So he steered well clear of the nasty mountain. He could see farther here, because the air was clearer, so could move more rapidly without missing anything important.

  Yet as he moved, he wondered. Was it possible that the demoness was telling the truth? That Che had already been found? If so, he was wasting his time here. But if that was true, then what about the business of the hole in Xanth? If a foreign elf had come through with her cat, what else was likely to follow? He really shouldn't ignore that.

  "You're cute when your ghostly brow furrows like that," Metria remarked.

  "Go jump in a hypnogourd!"

  "You're even cuter when you try to be clever. Does your future mate—the one who won't tell you about stork summoning—appreciate your cleverness?"

  "No," he replied shortly.

  "Why not?"

  "Because she doesn't love me," he said, before remembering not to talk to the demoness. Oh, well, the infernal creature had probably already caught on to that.

  "I thought you human folk didn't marry without love, foolish as that may be."

  "We don't. It's complicated."

  "I love complexity! How did it happen?"

  What was the use? She would keep pestering him anyway, and maybe she would have an answer for his dilemma. "I needed help from the naga folk," he said. "They are serpents with the heads of human folk. Their king said I would have to marry his daughter, Nada Naga, so that my folk would help their folk against the goblins. But I was too young, so I was betrothed to her instead. She could assume serpent form or human form, because the naga have ancestry in both. But I can take other forms too, including serpent and naga. I liked her, and then I loved her. But she was doing it just because she had to; she never loved me."

  "What, an animal girl failed to love a handsome human prince? How could she!"

  Dolph realized that she was being sarcastic, demonfashion, but he ignored it. It helped him just to describe the situation. "She was beautiful herself, and a princess too, and half human. But she is five years older. To her I was just a child. So she couldn't love me."

  "That's easy to solve. Just have her drink from a love spring in your presence."

  "Yes, when I many her next week she'll do that. But there's something else."

  "You are full of surprises, Prince!" But the edge of her sarcasm was not as sharp; she was curious.

  They completed the Region of Earth and floated into the next, the Region of Fire, which was surrounded by a tall wall of fire. Within the region flames reached hungrily for the sky, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't burn up the sky, quite. But the trees below were having a difficult time of it.

  This search, too, was dull. So when the demoness floating beside him through the flames inquired about the something else, he answered.

  "I have a second Betrothee."

  "Now that I believe is unusual for your kind. We demons have no limits about such things—in fact we have no betrothals or marriages, we just do what comes unnaturally. But I never heard of a human man marrying two women." She considered. "In Xanth, I mean. They do it in Mundania, though usually one at a time. But that doesn't count. Mundanes are crazy."

  "I don't know. Grey Murphy's Mundane, and he's not crazy."

  "He's not in Mundania, now, either. He must have straightened out when he entered Xanth."

  "That must explain it," he agreed. It did make sense. "Anyway, she had been fouled up by Magician Murphy's spell, long ago, and was sleeping in a coffin on the Isle of View."

  "I love you too, Prince," Metria said. "Because you are a cylinder of laughs. But—"

  "What?"

  "A drum, round container—" "Barrel. But I mean, I thought demonesses didn't love. So how—"

  "We love to torment folk, and you are nicely tormentable. But you said it first."

  "I did not! I was telling about the coffin on—oops."

  "Yes, that's where, out of nowhere, you said you loved me. If that's what you did with that sleeping girl, I can see how you got in trouble."

  "It's the island of V-I-E-W," he said, spelling it. He had learned to spell from his mother, who had absolutely refused to let his father teach him, for some reason. Irene was funny about such things as spelling and panties and marriages. "That's its name."

  Metria made a moue. "You mean you don't love me?"

  "That's right. I love Nada, and only her."

  "Too bad. It's much easier to torment one who loves you. Well, maybe you'll love me when I show you how to summon the stork. It's been known to happen."

  "You mean the stork has something to do with love?" he asked, amazed.

  She eyed him slantwise. "Oh, you will be fun to educate!"

  "No, I hate education," he said stoutly.

  "We shall see. Go on with your history."

  Disgruntled for no special reason, he resumed where he thought he had left off. "So Electra was sleeping, because she had gotten fouled up in the spell intended for the Princess, and took a bite of the apple. According to the enchantment, she would sleep for a thousand years or until a Prince kissed her awake, whichever came first. And I was the Prince who came and kissed her, so naturally she was instantly in love with me and wanted to marry me. I really couldn't tell her no."

  "Why not?" the demoness asked mischievously. "All you had to do was say 'Read my lips, freckles: go back to sleep.' Then you could slam the lid down and get out of there."

  Dolph opened his mouth in an O of horror. Then he realized that she was teasing him in her demoniac fashion. He decided to plow on regardless. "She was already out of the coffin. She will die if she doesn't many me. She's been on hold during the betrothal; I guess the enchantment understands about my being underage. After all, so is she. But in a week she will be eighteen, and if she isn't married to me by then, she will die anyway. So I sort of have to decide."

  "But aren't you still underage?" Metria inquired alertly. "Or will you have your sixteenth birthday this week?"

  "No, not for a few months yet. But my sister made Grey Murphy research that, and he found that it's the age of the girl that counts in Xanth: she has to be at least sixteen before she marries. It doesn't say about the boy. We think that whoever made that rule just assumed that the boy would be older. So I can marry now, if I marry a girl who is of age—and both my Betrothees are. So I have to choose, soon. My mother won't let me marry both of them, for some reason."

  "What does your father say?"

  "He keeps his mouth shut. I think it's not in his department."

  "It isn't? Then what is in his department?"

  They had covered the Region of Fire, a
nd now were entering the Region of Water. It seemed to be one big lake, but Dolph knew there were some islands and shores in it, and the foal might be on one of them.

  "He handles the big things, like Kingly Policy. She handles the little things—"

  "Like everything else," Metria finished. "Now I understand. It's a true matriarchy, all right, as it should be. I'll bet you aren't allowed to look at panties, either."

  "How did you know?" he asked, surprised.

  "It's Female Policy. No unmarried or underage men can see such forbidden things. It would zonk out their feeble minds. So which one are you going to marry?"

  "I don't know," he said. There was the substance of his dilemma: he still could not make up his mind. "I'd really like to marry Nada and see her panties. But I don't want 'Lectra to die."

  "Doesn't Electra have panties too?"

  "Yes, I guess so," he said, surprised. "I never thought of that. But I don't love her, and I do love Nada."

  "So many for love, and let the other croak."

  It became easier to argue the other side, when the demoness summed things up. "But Nada would be unhappy, and 'Lectra would die. I don't want those things to happen either."

  "Then boot Nada and marry Electra and take a love potion with her."

  "But I don't want to love 'Lectra!" he protested.

  "And Nada doesn't want to love you."

  "Well, she wants to, but not that way. We think it's better if it's natural. 'Lectra's love for me is because of the enchantment. I'd rather she took a potion to null it. But that's not the point. She has to many me whether she loves me or not, or die."

  Metria nodded. "Do you want objective advice from someone who doesn't care about any of you?"

  He peered at her. "That depends. What kind of advice would it be?"

  "Marry Electra."

  "No, I don't want that advice."

  "Then you'll have to survive without it. I wouldn't proffer it if I thought you'd take it, of course. I much prefer seeing you make fools of all three of you."

  Dolph had the sinking feeling that he would oblige her in that. He knew it would make everyone else happy, including both Nada and Electra, if he married Electra. But she was like a pale glimmering starfish, while Nada was like a brightly blazing sunfish. Electra was great for playing tag with, or pillow fights, or getting-sick-eating-candy binges, but Nada, ah Nada, what a dream! He had never liked kissing or any of that mushy stuff, until he knew Nada; now he could do it all day, with her. Except that she preferred to be off doing things with Ivy. Fortunately Ivy did not feel easy about having Nada too near her fianc , Grey, for some reason, so it was mostly Electra she was with. Whenever something interesting came up, like the sound of the invisible giant's footsteps, the two Betrothees would head out, and Nada would try to discourage Dolph from coming along, while Electra would encourage him. If only it could be the other way around!

  "There's an isle," Metria said. "We'd better land on it and explore it physically."

  Distracted by his chain of thought, Dolph didn't argue. He floated down, ready to change to solid human form when his feet were in reach of the sand. This Water region was really pretty nice, when between tsunamis.

  Nada would marry him, if he chose, because it was a political bargain and a Princess never reneged on her word. She would do her best to make him happy, and that would be no trouble at all, because he would be happy just being with her. Electra would bid him farewell, and go away to die by herself so as not to bother anyone with the sight. Electra was really a very nice person; he had never doubted that. But it would not make any more sense for him to marry Electra than it would for Nada to marry him. The love just wasn't there. Maybe a love potion would do it, but that seemed like cheating.

  "You're very quiet, Dolph."

  He jumped. That was Nada's voice!

  He looked—and there was Nada standing beside him, at the shore of a tiny island. He had not been paying attention where he was going and had just sort of followed the demoness. "How—?" he asked, agog.

  "I thought I would stop by to see how you were doing," Nada said dulcetly. She stepped in close to kiss him. "Perhaps, since we are here alone, we should settle down to some serious romancing." Her arms went around him, drawing him close. Her gray-brown hair fell down around her face and tumbled about her shoulders as her brown-gray eyes gazed into his. She had been taller than he, when he first knew her, when she was in her normal human form; that was no longer the case. She was the loveliest creature he could imagine.

  Then something percolated through the unwilling recesses of his mind. How could Nada be here? She couldn't fly! She would have had to assume snake form and swim, and before that she would have had to get through the Region of Fire. It seemed unlikely. Meanwhile, what had happened to the demoness? "I don't think—" he started, half mesmerized by her beauty.

  She frowned prettily. "Well, if you prefer." Her features fuzzed, then coalesced, and it was Electra in his arms. She wore the same dress, but it was loose on her where it had been tight on Nada. "I can do it too, you know," she said. "Maybe not as lusciously, but—"

  "Metria!" he exclaimed. "I should have known!"

  "You should have," she agreed, her features becoming those of the demoness. She remained embracing him, and her dress was tight again. "I'm ready to show you about the stork, now. But perhaps it will be better without clothes." The dress dissolved into smoke and drifted away.

  "It's done without clothes?" he asked. Somehow he wasn't really surprised.

  "Usually. So let me get yours off." Her hands began to work on his buttons.

  He looked down. Her body was completely bare. She wasn't wearing any panties. Rats! The demoness had been too canny to ignore them; she had dissolved them away with the rest of her clothing. He had hoped for a moment that she would forget, and he would finally catch a glimpse of the forbidden article. Even on a demoness, it could have been quite a sight. No such luck.

  But that decided him. He knew she wouldn't really show him the stork's secret; she would just tease him with faint suggestions of it, until he burst from unrequited curiosity. Then she would laugh herself into smoke and drift away. She had already teased him with the panties, which she had never intended to show him. There was no trusting a demoness!

  "No," he said, determined not to give her the satisfaction of making him burst. "I'm going on with the search."

  "But the foal's not here!" she exclaimed. "I told you, he's at the With-a-Cookee River with the goblins."

  "You also told me there's a hole in Xanth," he reminded her. "I don't believe you." He was pretty sure she hadn't told him about the river, but he didn't want to get into another dialogue with her.

  She sighed, and her clothing reappeared. For a moment it was faintly translucent, but when he tried to see through it to catch a glimpse of her panties, it turned opaque, and he saw nothing. She was still teasing him!

  He resumed ghost form and floated across the isle, but there was no foal there. Could the demoness be telling the truth about this? That Che Centaur was in goblin clutches? If so, he shouldn't dally here; he should hurry right down to the river to help rescue the foal.

  But he couldn't afford to believe the demoness, because the moment he did, it would turn out to be a lie. The same was true for her story about the hole in Xanth. He would just have to complete his search of the Elements.

  They completed Water and approached the Void. The pleasant water ended abruptly, and beyond was nothing.

  Metria drew up just shy of the line. "Look, Dolph, you're a ghost and I'm a demoness, but this is no ordinary region. It's not safe for even us to enter. This is the event horizon."

  "The what?"

  "Finis. Kaput. The point of no return."

  "You mean there's no crossing back?"

  "Whatever," she agreed, irritated.

  "But what if Che Centaur is in there?"

  "Then he'll never come out. You know that. So it's no good us going in there and getting trappe
d too. Why don't you do the expedient thing and believe me, so we don't get into trouble? That hole in Xanth still needs to be plugged."

  Dolph looked at the Void. He knew he shouldn't believe her, but what she said did seem to make sense. He couldn't help Che by getting lost himself. Still, if Che was in there.

  "You fool!" she exclaimed. "You're still thinking about stepping across that line!"

  "Well—"

  She became canny. "If you agree to go the other way, I might forget to keep my panties hidden."

  He was sure she was lying. She probably never wore any panties anyway. But the notion was demonishly tempting, regardless. "All right. Show me your hole."

  She paused for just half a moment, and he realized that she must have found something funny in what he said. Then she lifted from the ground. "It's south."

  They zoomed back through the four regions until they were just south of the Region of Air and west of the territory of the flies. The demoness dropped down into the jungle. There did seem to be an odd section, between trees. "See, a monster has come through already," she said, pointing.

  Indeed, there was something there. It looked a little like an ogre and less like a man. It seemed to have been patched together from scraps of people, with pegs holding the pieces fast at the joints, and a couple more pegs holding the head together. It was marching around in a wobbly circle.

  Dolph landed before the thing and assumed his natural form. "What are you?" he asked. "Where are you from?"

  The jaw hinges cranked open. "I'm the monster," it rasped. "I'm looking for my master, Frankenstein."

  "Well, he's not here," Dolph said. "He must be on the other side of the hole. Why don't you go back and look for him?"

  Without further word the thing turned and marched into the hole. This was a shimmering ragged circle just above the ground, with flickering darkness inside. From above it had looked like a line, but from the ground it looked like a tear in the scenery—which was probably what it was. The demoness had been telling the truth, maybe.

  The thing disappeared beyond the hole, as if it had never existed. But Metria was right: they didn't want any more such things coming through.