“Here, she’s coming our way!” Alicia said. “She can’t miss those braids of Maggie’s.” Directly ahead Princess Maggie’s braids, the color of paprika, flew out behind her as she rode. Her long body hunkered down low on the pony. She looked like a streak across the breaking dawn as she raced toward the herd.
It was an astounding and beautiful sight to see these magnificent unicorns. Their ivory horns glimmered with a strange light as they sped toward the foothills of the Wesselwick Mountains at the edge of the plains. This was exactly what Frankie had said they would do. If the princesses could get to the unicorns before they entered the forest at the base of the foothills, rounding them up would be much easier.
The unicorns were running in a tight pack. The scent of roses was carried by the dawn breezes, and soon the plains of Wesselwick smelled like a vast rose garden.
For a few moments, it was as if the herd’s horns had merged into one luminescent streak of light. But then suddenly the streak melted away.
“By Saint Kippy’s last kneecap, they’ve gone for the woods!” Princess Maggie cursed.
“Who the heck is Saint Kippy?” Kristen asked as they rode along.
“Patron saint of unicorns,” Maggie replied, looking back over her shoulder.
“Why last kneecap?” asked Gundersnap.
“Only had one,” Alicia answered breathlessly while pressing her pony forward. “One leg, one kneecap, one arm, one hand, one eye, and one horn growing out of his forehead. So naturally he’d be the saint of the unicorns. He is also called the saint of oneness.”
“Sounds adorable,” Myrella said, crouching her tiny body low in the saddle and keeping her eyes fastened on the herd. So minuscule was the princess that she appeared as not much more than a bump on the back of her pony.
Princess Maggie raised her right hand and gave the signal for them to slow to a trot.
The ten princesses trotted up into a circle at the woods’ edge. “Well, we’ve lost them for now. All we can do is keep sniffing for the rose scent and look for hoofprints. We should meet back here in…what do you say, Kinna?” Maggie asked, consulting her cocaptain.
From her waistband Kinna took a watch on a chain. “In thirty minutes,” Kinna replied. Then she continued, “The buddy system, remember? Maggie and I will be one team. Rosemary and Hutta, you two go together. Gundersnap and Myrella, Alicia and Kristen. Remember to follow streams when you can.”
The buddy teams began to thread their ways through the forest in different directions. Standing up in their stirrups, they poked their noses into the air as high as they could to sniff for roses, but all they smelled was the rich earth of the forest floor.
Gundersnap was lost completely in her own mournful thoughts about Menschmik and, though she had been looking down for hoofprints, her mind was far away as she tried to envision the battlefield in the Empire of Hottompot. Suddenly she noticed a trickle of water. But no, it was more than a trickle, and she wondered how far she had been following it, for very shortly it turned into a lively stream. And then without even lifting her eyes from the ground or her nose into the air, she caught the scent of roses.
“I don’t know where she went. One minute she was there. And the next minute, she had just wandered off on her pony.” Myrella was almost in tears as she tried to explain how she had lost Princess Gundersnap.
The cocaptains glared at her. “She couldn’t have just disappeared,” Maggie scolded.
“Didn’t you hear her pony walking away?” Kinna asked.
“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Myrella wailed.
“We came here to round up a unicorn, and now we have to spend time looking for the Princess of Slobodkonia. Zounds! Gundersnap, of all princesses to lose. If her mother the empress finds out, she’ll declare war on the camp!” Maggie steamed.
Myrella wailed even harder. “Well, stop your mewling!” Princess Maggie spat the words out.
“Hey! Watch it, Princess,” Kristen said sharply as she rode her pony right up to Princess Maggie. Kristen leaned forward in her saddle and looked Maggie straight in the eyes. A kindling energy rustled between the two fiery-haired princesses. Alicia thought she might actually have seen sparks. It certainly looked as if something could ignite any second and the two princesses might burst into flames. “Lighten up, Princess Maggie. Myrella doesn’t have eyes in the back of her head. Now let’s backtrack to the spot where Myrella first realized Gundersnap was gone.”
They had been riding for perhaps a quarter of an hour when they first caught the scent of roses. Quietly they proceeded, and as they came into a clearing, they all gasped at the amazing sight. Princess Gundersnap was standing straight up on top of her saddle near a pond of spring-fed water. She was beginning to twirl her satin lariat over her head. On the other side of the pool was a unicorn, a pure white unicorn, busily drinking. The rose scent was almost overpowering. How Princess Gundersnap stood so steadily in the saddle they would never know. How she cast the lariat from such a position was unimaginable. But silently a loop of pink satin ribbon sailed out across the pool and dropped perfectly over the unicorn’s horn. In a split second, Gundersnap was off her pony. She dropped to her knees, humming softly. And, just as Frankie had said, the unicorn began to walk around the pool and head directly toward her.
The other princesses had never beheld such an awesome sight. It was mystical. A glow seemed to radiate from the unicorn when the creature gently placed its head in Gundersnap’s lap. The glow began to surround Gundersnap as well as she stroked the unicorn lightly and continued humming. The unicorn lifted its head slightly and nuzzled the princess’s chin. Gundersnap’s face was bathed in a light of sheer happiness. All the sadness had vanished. Not a trace was left.
Minutes later, with Princess Gundersnap leading the unicorn behind her on the long satin lariat, they set off for the meeting place. As they approached, they saw what appeared to be a large gathering of ponies.
“Hey,” Princess Maggie said. “That’s Camp Burning Shield’s riding team and their jousting team as well.”
“Jousting!” exclaimed Kristen.
“Boys!” said Alicia.
“If I told you once, Sir Ralph, I’ve told you a thousand times.” Frankie was shaking a finger at the Burning Shield jousting coach. “In the first place, you shouldn’t even be out here on the plains of Wesselwick. Unicorns and boys don’t mix. Like oil and water. So now you’ve caught one and you are such a knucklehead that you decide to have this young Prince Rupert von what’s-his-name ride it. Well, he might be captain of the jousting team, but he doesn’t know royal diddly-squat about riding unicorns.”
“What happened?” Alicia whispered to Parisiana.
“See that prince sitting over there on a log, his arm in a sling? That’s Prince Rupert. I guess he tried to ride and was thrown. The unicorn got away, and now he’s out for the season—the jousting season, that is. But isn’t he cute, even with a broken arm.”
“Hot!” exclaimed Alicia and smiled at the prince, then gasped. “Oh, by the grace of Saint Valentine, he winked at me!” she whispered to herself. Alicia could hardly contain her excitement.
Chapter 10
AN INVITATION—AT LAST!
Gundersnap was the only one of the princesses to capture a unicorn, which put the Purples quite far ahead of the Crimsons in the Color Wars. The Crimsons had come close to catching one, but not close enough. With just one unicorn and dozens of princesses, it would not do to have them all learning to ride the creature and care for it. There was simply not enough unicorn to go around, as Frankie put it. So it would be Gundersnap and her turretmates who would learn how to ride the lovely creature and care for it. And if more were captured, eventually there would be a unicorn riding show as part of Color Wars, in which both teams would compete.
As soon as they returned from the Plains of Wesselwick, the princesses of the South Turret began stable duty, the first step in learning about the unicorn and its needs. So although the princesses of the South Tur
ret for the most part did not know the first thing about getting themselves dressed, they would soon be learning how to curry a unicorn, fit a bridle to its head, and strap a velveteen saddle on its back. And although they could no more boil an egg than fly, they were learning how to make clover mash feed for the unicorn.
Lady Merry dozed now in the main salon of the princesses’ apartments. She had perhaps fallen asleep from boredom, for all that Princess Alicia had talked about since their return was the handsome Prince Rupert, who had broken his arm.
“Do you think we should send him a get-well card?” Alicia now asked.
“Vot do you mean vee?” replied Gundersnap, barely concealing the impatience in her voice.
“Who are you talking about?” Kristen asked. Her nose was buried in the Royal Outdoor Life Catalogue.
“Who else?” Gundersnap sighed.
“Oh, old poopy Ruppie?” Kristen asked. Gundersnap giggled, but Alicia scowled.
“There is nothing poopy about him. He’s captain of the jousting team. I just hope his arm heals in time for our dance with Camp Burning Shield, if that day ever comes,” Alicia said huffily.
“I wonder if he jousts with one of these nifty Richard the Lionhearted double-planked shields?” Kristen asked.
“Honestly!” Gundersnap gasped in despair. “And by the way, Alicia, Rupert comes from a very insignificant kingdom. My mother invaded it several years ago, and his father is just a puppet king. Empress Mummy pulls his strings. So get over Rupert.”
At just that moment, Gilly sailed into the princesses’ salon. She was grinning widely and held a large scroll in her hand. “Good news, Princesses! It’s come at last.”
“What?” they all cried at once.
“The invitation!” Gilly unfurled the scroll and began to read: “‘The Duke of Palacyndra, Camp Master of Burning Shield, does hereby invite the princesses of Camp Princess to our Full Moon Summer Festival and Ball.’”
There was a deafening squeal from Alicia, who shot up into the air, flipping her tiara right off her head. Kristen, Gundersnap, and Myrella looked at one another.
“Mishtik grashschnik vinghotten,” muttered Gundersnap, which roughly translated from Slobo meant, “There’ll be no living with her now!”
Chapter 11
THE PRINCESSES PREPARE
“Archery contest? There’s archery and not just dancing?” Gundersnap asked.
“What about jousting? There’s sure to be jousting if there’s archery!” Kristen exclaimed.
Lady Merry sighed. “Now, Princess Kristen—archery is one thing, but princesses jousting?” Kristen started to protest. Lady Merry raised a puffy little hand. “Please, dear, we all know that in the Realm of Rolm, things are done differently, and some girls joust.”
“Lady Merry, I don’t see why not—”
“There will be no jousting for you, my dear. Not another word.” Kristen drooped her shoulders dramatically and moaned. “I am sure there are other sports you excel in.”
“Kissing,” Alicia blurted out, and all four princesses were seized by convulsions of giggles.
“Gilly!” Lady Merry screamed. “My smelling salts!”
Gortle shook a finger at the girls. “Don’t you princesses carry on like that. Giving Lady Merry the fits. Not good. Princess Alicia, you think entirely too much about boys. I know for a fact that you are very skillful with falconry. It says there on that invitation that there will be falconry. And you brought your best falcon.”
“Gryffie, yes sir, I did. He’s quite good.”
“And you, Gundersnap, I know how good you are with the bow. You’ll give them a run for their money in the archery tournament. You all need to get out there and practice. Kristen, no one can sail a boat like you. There’ll be a regatta. It’s not just all fancy dancing and flirting, you know.”
“It’s not?” Alicia sighed and looked crestfallen.
The days before the journey around the lake to Camp Burning Shield were the busiest of the entire session. Unfortunately, there were extra makeup classes and endless sessions with the hair maids to try out every sort of hairpiece from braids to buns to dangling curls, and some new contrivance called banglets, little corkscrewy things that hung in a fringe over one’s forehead and made Kristen looked cross-eyed every time they pinned them in her hair. “I’ll take them off and burn them as soon as I’m out of her sight!” Kristen hissed when the Snort turned her attention to another princess. In addition to the makeup sessions, there were endless fittings for ball gowns and tea gowns, in addition to sportswear gowns for various contests and tournaments.
A special shooting outfit was sewn for Gundersnap, a falconry one for Alicia, a new bathing costume for Myrella for the swim meet, and a jaunty sailing gown with gold braid for Kristen. She also insisted on wearing her emerald-studded shark’s tooth pendant. This was the highest sailing award given in the junior division of the annual summer Realm of Rolm Regatta. She was also the junior division champion for the winter iceboat regatta, and for this she had been awarded an emerald-studded whale’s tooth. But she only wore it for brief ceremonial occasions, as it was quite heavy.
The four princesses of the South Turret stood on small boxes in their salon while four seamstresses and their assistants fitted the various outfits, pinning up hems, taking a tuck here, snipping a sleeve, tacking a collar.
“I really need this to be more off the shoulder,” Alicia was saying to the seamstress.
“Off the shoulder—I must gently protest, Your Highness,” the seamstress said. She had a beaked nose, and her spectacles perched halfway down the beak made her look like a curious bird. “Whyever would you need this to be off the shoulder?”
“Off the shoulder!” Lady Merry exclaimed. “It’s a falconry outfit, Alicia. For mercy sakes.”
“That’s just the point, Lady Merry. This is my lofting arm.”
“What are you speaking of, my dear?”
“Gryffie perches on my right arm. I must hold it up like this.” Alicia raised her right arm so that her elbow was level with her nose. “And I must fling him off. I need the garment to be very flexible.”
“Hmmm.” Lady Merry made a soft vibrating sound that caused her nostrils to flare slightly. Suspicion was engraved on her face.
“It’s the truth, Lady Merry. I must have the flexibility.”
“Flexibility! I don’t like the word. It seems to me that only one arm needs to be flexible, and the shoulder need not be exposed. Seamstress, put an inset in the armpit, some extra material. That’s all the flexibility you need.”
“Lady Merry,” Alicia pleaded.
“Don’t ‘Lady Merry’ me, child. You want to end up like this.” She thwacked an issue of The Royal We that she had been reading against the arm of her chair.
“What?” all four princesses asked.
“By the lights of Saint Freddy, I have never heard of a naughtier princess than this one,” Lady Merry exclaimed.
The princesses had jumped from their boxes, scattering pins and tangles of basting thread, and rushed to Lady Merry’s side. Saint Freddy was the patron saint of wayward royalty.
“What naughty princess is it?” Kristen asked.
“Princess Griselda,” Lady Merry replied. “She was here a year or so ago. And she has run off with a horse groom!” She slapped the magazine down on her lap. “A horse groom, of all things! And look how she’s dressed. You see where bare shoulders in the daytime get you, Princess Alicia?”
In the drawing Princess Griselda was wearing a tightly fitted gown of the latest design.
“What’s wrong with it?” Alicia asked.
“The bare shoulders, first of all. That front does not come up high enough. You can see her collarbones.”
“It’s so this year, Lady Merry. So absolutely now!” Myrella said.
Gortle had just entered the salon and come over to see what they were all looking at. “Very Renaissance, Lady Merry. Get used to it!”
“Fie on this Renaissance.
Such nonsense if you ask me—except for a few good plays and paintings. It’s just a bunch of hooey. Hooey and hanky-panky with a horse groom! What’s the world coming to?”
“Well,” Gortle said. “I’m here to fetch Princess Gundersnap. Time to go to the archery field, my dear. The archery master is awaiting you. He says Burning Shield offers some stiff competition, in particular a certain Prince Haraldsvar of Svarlandia.”
“May I suggest, Milady, a traditional bow.” The archery master, Hawkins, held out a bow toward Gundersnap. “This one should be just the right size and shape for you. You say you’ve had experience with this one in contests before.”
“Yes, sir,” she replied, and reached for the bow. Princess Gundersnap wore a rather ancient-looking armguard to protect the inside of her forearm from the slap of the bowstring when it was released.
“But are you sure you would not prefer one of our newer model armguards? That one appears rather…er…” The archery master searched for the right words. “Rather used.”
“Yes, by me. I like it,” Gundersnap replied, thus putting an end to the conversation.
The targets had been set up, and at least half a dozen princesses stepped up to the marks. “Now remember, Miladies, the art of shooting requires five steps. To stand properly, to nock, to draw, to aim, and to loose.”
It was all archery talk about fitting the arrow’s notch to the bowstring, pulling the string, aiming, and then letting go. But before the master had even finished his speech, Princess Gundersnap had let go.
“Bull’s-eye!” someone cried. And sure enough, the arrow that the Princess of Slobodkonia had shot was quivering at the very center of the target.
“Bravo! Bravo!” Gortle cried out.
Hawkins himself was impressed. “A champion! I see a champion here. What form!” the archery master exclaimed. Then a nasty echo.
Unicorns? Get Real! Page 6