by J A Essen
“Boys will be boys, Princess. You know, he’s really not that hard on the eyes.”
“Breacca!”
“I’m just saying.”
I splash a small amount of the milk-bath in her direction, and we both giggle.
“That should do it, Princess.” She places the brush down and stands beside the bath with a towel, waiting for me to step out.
My magic abilities may just be blooming, but my body took note of my age more than a year ago. It seems like just yesterday I was wondering if I would ever have breasts and now, well, yeah. I cup my breasts with my hands and feel their weight as I sweep away some of the wetness dripping from my body. My waist has narrowed, and my hips have widened. My plum colored lips are quite full, and my ear tips have lengthened as well. I understand the reason for the looks I get from the boys, but I honestly have no interest in any of them.
All they see is the superficial.
But, I’m not going to let my mind linger there any longer this morning. Today is going to be even better than yesterday. Today I will make my first shift.
I meet Mother just outside the East gate, the same gate I snuck through yesterday, and I snicker blithely as we make our way to the northern woods, nearer to the mountains that flank the castle.
“Something you’d care to share Edana?”
“Just thoughts of yesterday.” I smile.
“Well, today’s lesson won’t be as easy as a simple bit of concentration and hand waving.” She motions with hand flits. “The first step in shifting into a form you have never taken is physically touching the animal. Until you have been in actual contact, the shift will be impossible.”
“So, how do you…”
“That is actually easier than you think my dear.” She knows exactly what I’m thinking. “You remember when you were younger, and you told me that you thought the birds on your window could understand you, and would sit there for an hour at a time while you told a story?”
“Mm-hmm.” I nod my head.
“Well, that is not far from the truth. They can’t understand us, but we have a connection with all the beasts on the land, in the air, and beneath the water that allows them to feel what we are feeling. This is what will allow you to get close enough to even the most potentially dangerous animals to create the link. Once you have your hand on them, you must clear your mind of everything else and feel its life force flow through you. See how it feels in the world around it. Once you have that feeling, you need merely to speak Athraigh.”
We continue walking through the woods, and I spot a doe, stopped for a drink.
“Yes, Edana, that would be a great first choice. She’s a beautiful creature just like you.”
I hear Mother speaking, but I’m already concentrating, trying to get the doe’s attention, when all of a sudden she stops mid-lick and looks directly at me.
There, there. There is nothing to be afraid of. I’m not dangerous to you. I begin to walk toward the doe and amazingly, she begins to move toward me as well.
You are a beautiful animal. May I…
She lowers her head to me, and I run my hand up and over, in between her ears, and down to her mid back. I close my eyes and can feel the power from the Deloi passing through her and into me. Her breathing becomes my breathing, her pulse, mine.
“Athraigh,” I whisper, and I can feel everything around me start to tremble. My skin feels heated, and as I begin to fall forward to the ground, I put my hands out to catch myself only to see long, tan, slender legs ending in hooves bracing me up. It all happened in the blink of an eye. Walking on all fours back to the water’s edge where the doe was drinking, I can see my reflection and am astonished. A beautiful copy of the doe is staring back at me instead of my normal lavender hair and blue eyes.
“Can you hear me, Edana?”
Mother is speaking to me, but it seems different; almost like an echo off the mountains. I answer her, but It’s more like a thought, as I have no means of speaking like this.
“Yes, Mother. This is incredible!”
“When you are shifted, regardless of what form you have taken, you can still communicate with your mind. Now, to shift back, just picture your normal self, and think ‘Athraigh.'”
I do as she says, and as quickly as I shifted into an animal, I’m back to my normal elvish form… except for the fact that I’m naked.
“Mother!” I scream as I cross my arms over my body.
“Here you are my little one.” She hands me a simple, cream gown that I slide on over my head. “Never forget to disrobe before shifting, or wait to shift back until you have some form of covering to get into.” She smiles, knowing that a lesson like this will not be forgotten.
“Thank you.”
Over the course of the day, I shift into a wolf, a young bear, and a hawk; the latter of which was phenomenal. Being able to fly and glide on the air was an indescribable sensation. As we are making our way back to the castle, I can’t help but finally ask the question I have wondered for so long.
“What is on the other side of the Vanyali barrier, Mother? What is it that we are hiding from? I want to go there. I can’t stay cooped up here forever.”
“The Ujnart my dear. They do not understand us and our abilities. Because of their ignorance, they are a danger to us, and It’s not safe.”
“Have you been outside, Mother?”
“Yes, but only in shifted form and only for brief periods of time. It’s a beautiful place, but dangerous none-the-less.”
“Take me. Take me there, Mother. Just once.”
“You are too young and too inexperienced of a shifter. Things can happen that can startle you out of a shift and it would be extremely difficult to regain your concentration.”
“Mother, please. You are here with me, to help and protect me.”
“Edana.” Her exasperation is apparent.
She’s not happy, but that’s not a ‘no’ either. I put my best pout face on and look up at her through my thick lashes.
“Do you think that still works with me, young lady?”
I stick my lip out even further and nod my head ‘yes’ while batting my lashes.
Leaning into me she whispers, “Well, I guess you still know how to make your mother soft.” She smiles and winks. “Shift and follow me.”
“Athraigh,” I speak, and I transform in a blink. With an instinct as natural as breathing, I’m dashing beside my mother, two does scampering along. The feeling is so incredible and liberating.
We scoot along the tree line near the castle and skim down the outskirts of Ithoran, heading in the direction of the southern edge of our lands. I can smell the deliciousness wafting from one of the village bakers’ shops that the breeze is carrying. There are commoners outside the city’s edge, carrying in buckets of water and others playing with their children.
Clearing the southwest corner of Ithoran, the Coille comes into view, and we bolt towards it. The sound of my hooves thrumming on the ground beneath me, the huff of my breathing, the landscape whooshing by at speed; it’s all so surreal. The forest starts to close in around us, and the light coming through the canopy begins to fade.
We slow down to a trot as limbs start to scrape my fur. There is barely any light coming through now, and I hear in my head, “Stay close, we are nearly there.”
A moment later, there is a pinhole of light in front of me that starts growing; becoming larger and more brilliant. Suddenly, the forest just ends, and we are standing, looking at an arc of beautiful, flowing blue, green, and white energy that extends as far as I can see in either direction and fades away into the sky above us.
The barrier. The Balla.
I stand there in awe of the pure amount of Vanyali force being projected.
“Who sustains the Balla, Mother?”
“Not who, little one, but what. The original clerics of Robor communed with the Deloi, and it was agreed that it would sustain the barrier indefinitely, but at a cost. That cost was their lives. Those
are the four statues that you see outside at the four corners of the temple.”
Mother is moving forward again, and it’s just now that I notice two guards standing near a section of the barrier that seems to be moving slightly out of sync with the rest. I watch as she moves near to them and suddenly see them bow and move to the sides.
“Come along Edana.”
Hesitantly, I move alongside Mother and shiver as unease runs across my hide.
“I will go through first. Just push through the barrier here where It’s swirling. The sensation will be a little, um, strange.”
She moves ahead and passes with certainty through the Balla.
Now It’s my turn. Stepping up to the swirl, I pause before pushing my nose into the swirl and withdrawing it. Nothing.
Working up all my courage, I take a deep breath and begin to walk through.
NOW, I definitely feel something.
Suddenly, everything begins to warp and contort in my vision. There are colors, but no discernable designs or shapes. And my body; it feels SO heavy. Almost as if my legs are going to buckle under the weight. Then, just as quickly as the sensations started, they cease, and I’m through the other side.
As I turn to look back at the swirling Balla, it disappears, and I’m staring at a solid rock face. Wow. No wonder our land has never been breached by outsiders.
“How do you know where to return through the barrier, Mother? And how DO you return through if It’s solid rock?”
“Look here.” Mother motions with her head at a small engraving in the rock face, just below a small outcropping, depicting the Robor crest. “This is where we pass back through, and the Balla can sense a Druidic presence and will open when it does.”
I nod my head in understanding.
“Now, this way little one.”
Mother and I follow along beside a stream that wanders aimlessly into a small thicket, and when we emerge, one of the most beautiful scenes I have ever beheld is in front of me.
Cascading down over four separate drops, and changing directions each time, is a massively tall waterfall ending in a beautiful, turquoise stream. The thick, white mist being thrown up as the waterfall impacts the surface of the stream is refracting the sunlight, casting a magnificent rainbow that fades away as the mist floats off into oblivion.
I’m suddenly thirsty and walk to the water’s edge to get a drink. As I’m getting my fill, I can feel another presence nearby, somewhere in the edge of the tree line of the thicket. Mother senses it too, and our heads both pop up in unison. There.
Without warning, a cougar lunges from the underbrush. From sheer instinct I suppose, I drop my form, and as the cougar hits the ground, I can tell she’s already slowing, hearing my thoughts.
We are not as we seem. Please, stop and listen.
The cougar stops its advance and sits down on its rear haunches. I begin to approach, and she lies down, a front leg outstretched, and rolls to her side.
There now. You are a beautiful creature. I’m going to place my hand on your side and Link now.
Dipping to one knee, I place my palm on the creature’s side and speak the word; Athraigh.
Incredible.
I take off at full speed along the edge of the stream; the speed I’m traveling at is incredible. I’m laughing in my head, and I can sense my mother’s pride.
This is the happiest day of my life.
Turning around, I make my way back to my mother, and we both lay down in the sun to enjoy the warmth.
“Thank you for this, Mother. This has been the most incredible day of my life.”
“You’re welcome Edana, but remember; you must NEVER come out here alone. You cannot imagine the dangers that lurk in this land.”
It doesn’t take long before I grow bored and decide to run further up the stream toward the spray of the mist. As I begin to walk into the spray, the tickling sensation in my nose makes me giggle inside. Crossing a slick grouping of rocks, I can feel the thunder of the water as it impacts the surface and It’s making me lose my balance, so I decide to turn back.
Clearing the spray, I suddenly hear, “NOW!” The sound is the voice isn’t IN my head, but rather from an outside voice.
“Edana, RUN!”
My mother’s voice rings loudly in my ears.
“Run to the Balla and…”
Her thought is clipped and incomplete. I’m just into the thicket and stop dead in my tracks, turning to see where she is. I scan and look to no avail. Creeping low, I return to the edge of the break and I see a group of what must be Ujnart men on horseback and…
OH NO!
“Mother? MOTHER!”
Nothing.
And then as one of the men move, my world comes crashing down.
She’s on the ground almost exactly where we were in the sun. There are two arrows sticking into her side, just below and behind her shoulder area.
“Well done, sir.”
“Great shots.”
“Your father will be proud of this kill.”
The rest of the men are all congratulating one particular Ujnart. I struggle to remain in control, feeling the shift slipping away from me. Closing my eyes, I try to slow my breathing and refocus if only for a few moments. Opening my eyes back, I mark the faces of each of the men to memory. Then, and only then, I turn and quietly slink away until I feel certain that they won’t hear the brush breaking under my feet, and I open up at full speed toward the Balla.
Remembering where the stream snaked near to the rock face, I begin looking for the raised outcropping of rocks and the symbol. My eyes are misting over, even in shift, and it makes it hard to concentrate, but finally, I spot what I’m looking for. Placing my head against the rock, it softens, and I’m pulled through into safety.
As I clear the portal, the guards immediately question me.
“Where is the queen; your mother?”
I can’t hold back anymore, and as I lose my shift, I begin to cry uncontrollably. One of the guards removes his tunic overcoat and covers my naked body.
“What has happened, Princess?”
“Sh-she, was, th-there were m-men. They sh-shot her.”
I can barely get words out around the full body sobs.
“She’s d-dead.”
The guard helps me to try and stand upright while the other shifts into an enormous stag. As he lifts me onto the stag’s back, I try to grab around his neck and hold on as best as I can; my body is trembling and in shock. It does not take us long to clear through the forest, pass Ithoran, and come to the front gates of Robor. My guardian transport slows to relay some bit of information, and as he does, the guards at the entrance shuffle positions as one shifts and flies off in the direction we just came from.
Two of the guards help to remove me from the stag’s back, and he shifts back to his normal, elvish form. Receiving coverings from one of the other guards, he takes me in his arms and carries me into the castle.
I can hear my father’s voice as we enter further, “What has happened Arth?”
“The Queen, sir. She has been slain on the other side of the Balla.”
And with that, everything begins to spin, and my world goes dark.
Today is the worst day of my life.
Chapter 3
“Edana, my love. Don’t grieve for me, for I’m with the Ancestors. I’m sorry that I will not be there for you on your wedding day, but rejoice; I have come home and will forever watch over you…”
I startle awake, my skin glistening with cold sweat. Momentarily disoriented, Breacca scoots in next to me and begins to pat my skin with a cool, dry cloth.
“There, there Princess. You’re safe. You’re in your room.” She’s doing her best to console me and keep me calm.
“Mother?”
Breacca lowers her eyes and shakes her head. So it wasn’t just a bad dream. They really did take her from me.
I start to sob again, and Breacca gathers me in her arms, stroking my hair and rocking gently.
“It’s entirely my fault, Breacca. I pushed her to go outside the Balla. I wanted to see what the other side was like and why we kept ourselves shrouded. She warned me, but I kept pouting, and she gave in. Why Breacca? Why?”
Thoughts start racing through my mind. Why would the Ancestors allow this to happen? Why weren’t they watching over her? Can they not see us beyond the Balla border? How do I go on with this grief in my heart?
“Come, Princess. We need to get you into a bath and cleaned up. You will feel better once you wash off.”
Breacca holds my hand as I stand from the cold canopy bed. Four silver posters stretch toward the ceiling and are capped with crystal globes. Green, sheer silk curtains drape from a point of suspended magic over the bed and glisten with a delicate, silver leaf design. Mother had this designed for me.
As we arrive at the soaking tub, I run my fingers along the top of the smooth, wood and feel the minute imperfections of ridges and cracks in the ancient, fallen tree trunk. Mother found this for me.
Undressing from the sleeping gown, I step into the tub as Breacca continues to fill it with warmed water. Pulling the intricate, silver pins from my head, my lavender hair falls down my shoulders and onto my chest, floating on top of the rising water. Mother gave this to me.
Everything I see, touch, and smell reminds me of her.
I close my eyes as Breacca sits down at the head of the tub, pulls my hair back off my shoulders, and pours a pitcher of water onto my head. The small amount that trickles down my face mingles with the salty tears that are beginning to push through my eyelids again. She had so much more to teach me about life.
Opening my eyes, I breathe deeply and then steel myself against further crying fits. As Breacca finishes rinsing the suds from my body, I stand and exit the bath and wrap myself in a towel. Walking towards the polished, dressing mirror mounted on the bedroom wall, something in me breaks.
Why am I sad? I should be furious. Those Ujnart bastards took my mother from ME! Took our Queen from her people!
I ball my hand into a fist and slam it down on the dressing table, rings of black and purple energy rippling outwards from the impact center.