Brokenly Found

by Nikki Bolvair

  "We both need to let go of our guilt," I responded calmly.

  "Your parents killed each other because of the accident! Faith, how can you not be seeking revenge for having me beg him to go!"

  My eyes flashed. "You're wrong! My father killed my mother. His actions are his own. As are mine. As are yours. Did you cause that car to crash into you?"

  "No," she growled out annoyed, flicking her eyes out my bedroom window.

  "Were you obeying the driving laws?"

  "Yes..." her voice was steady as her eyes came back to mine and grew curious. She was trying to figure out what I was attempting to say.

  "The fault lies with the idiot person who hit you. The person who got distracted from a text on his phone. My father is responsible for your accident. And he knew it. He carried the guilt of that night with him every day until he died. My father took not only my brother from me, but my mother too! And he would have taken me with him, but someone saved me!"

  Raina looked taken back. Confused. "It wasn't your father, Faith."

  Now I was confused. What? What was missing? "Yes, it was. My dad went out that night. It was our car."

  She walked towards me, her face worried and apprehensive. "They both were there, Faith. Your parents."

  I sucked in a breath and then coughed. My chest burned. My heart raced. Shocked, I blurted out, "What?"

  "You- you were at home alone." My chest tightened.

  "They left the house" she paused letting it all sink in, "thinking your brother was there to watch you." A stab in my heart. I had been alone?

  "Your mother was the one who caused the accident," she told me softly, her eyebrows bunched up in confusion and sympathy.

  My breath came out ragged. My eyes widened. I had been left alone. The memory came on so strong I couldn't have stopped it if I tried.

  I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and my mother gasp.

  He hit her!

  Scared for my mother, I scrambled out of bed and raced to my door, throwing it open.

  I could hear my mother sobbing, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! It's all my fault."

  It wasn't her fault, I thought to myself. It was his...

  "I thought you knew." Raina's voice brought me back.

  My chest was caving. I couldn't breathe. I reached out to, her gasping for breath. "Can't... Breathe."

  My sweet mother was the one to kill my brother. Then my father killed her. And I was going to die from suffocation due to shock.

  My life sucked. Literally.

  Black dots started to cloud my vision as ringing in my ears came. I was going to pass out. I heard a booming voice blare out, "Jeez, Reina! What are you doing to her?"

  I felt whoever it was getting close, and the next face I saw was Kayden's. His light blue eyes stared into mine, urging me to keep calm as he took my cheeks in his hands, trying to get my attention. I grabbed his wrists, holding onto him as I gasped for air. His eyes were comforting, as was his deep voice that floated over my panic. "Breathe, baby," he coached with soothing words. "That's it, breathe. One breath at a time." I tried to sync my breaths with his, hoping the panic would ebb.

  "What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" I heard a woman demand. My eyes went wide as I looked into his, and my body went tense. My breath hitched once again, and I started stressing. Kayden turned his face away from mine and growled. "Out, mom! You're stressing her!"

  "Kayden—!"

  "Please..." He begged in a softer voice. She must have agreed, because he turned back to me, encouraging me to keep breathing.

  After a few more minutes, I found myself on my side that wasn't bruised, with Kayden snuggled up behind me. He was still talking, telling me to breathe with him. When our breaths were synced, I felt like a weak kitten. Drained and exhausted, I couldn't speak, I just lay there. Kayden seemed to understand. I was so sleepy.

  "It's ok baby, go to sleep. I'll stay with you. I won't leave." His hand was tangled with mine, resting on my hip. His thumb rhythmically caressed the inside of my wrist, relaxing me. With my breath evened out and my nerves calmed, I fell to sleep next to Kayden, wishing the others were with me too.

  Chapter 6

  It had been a week since the camping trip. A week since I found out that Raina was the girl my brother Austin was dating on the night of the horrible crash. And it had been three days since I told her who I was. Kayden had held me when I panicked after she told me it was my mother and not my father who had caused the crash. He stayed with me until Tyler came and took his place. It had been a week, and none of them had left me.

  Brady came home that day after Sarah found out what happened. Since then, Brady would not allow any of the guys to sleep in my bed. That didn't mean sleeping bags weren't littered on my floor. Raina was the one to sleep beside me. She was with me when the nightmares came, and I was there for hers. We were both recovering from our pain. The little wounds on the inside were stitching together, becoming scars; scars on the inside, that no one could see except for the two of us.

  Being lazy and talking a lot the rest of that week gave us the time to heal. We remembered the good times. The bittersweet moments either one of us had for Austin. My heart was not as safeguarded as it had been. Not letting anyone in was harder. The McGuire family who ran away from mine, who shared my shattered past, gave me the ability to love again. They gave me peace. Closure.

  I didn't care who saved me that night, if it was me or a ghost in the wind. Whatever saved me while my father grew out of control, led me to the Bradys. Led me back to who I was, and gave me my life back in more ways than one.

  I looked towards the three McGuire boys who were all snoozing on the floor beside my bed and smiled. I had them. I looked to HotShot. I even had the mutt. I sighed, lying back down, and the I saw Raina looking at me. She took my hand and smiled. "Thank you," she whispered.

  I squeezed her hand, loving the sisterly bond we had developed. "What for?"

  "Peace," she breathed out, tearing up. "For peace, Faith. It's been too long since I've felt like this. Guilt free."

  "Me too," I whispered back, feeling the same way.

  "Not me," a gruff voice disagreed. The guys must not have been as asleep as I thought. "I want to feel guilty with Faith. Very guilty." Raina threw a pillow at Lincoln in jest.

  "I second that," a sleepy Kayden said, as his seductive voice floated over to me.

  "I'm down with racking up some guilt with our sweet Faith," Tyler chuckled deeply.

  I snorted. "Guys."

  Raina stole our last pillow to toss it Tyler's way. "No one's going to get guilty with Faith."

  "Oh, my word," I giggled. "You guys are so weird."

  "Better than normal." Kayden made it sound as if he were shuddering. "Normal creeps me out."

  I snorted once again, and reached down beside the bed where Tyler was sleeping and brushed his arm with my fingertips. He took my hand in his and kissed my palm before linking our fingers together.

  "Good night again, guys," Raina muttered, as she turned over letting my other hand go.

  "Goodnight," the rest of us chorused together.

  When I woke up the next day, which was Saturday morning, and felt all warm and snugly pressed between two—my eyes popped open—male bodies that were either hiding sticks or were excited. In the middle of the night, I went to snuggle with Tyler on the floor, but now there were two people with me, and I didn't know who had joined us.

  I was facing Tyler, and I had no clue who was at my back. I wondered what had woken me up in the first place, and then I remembered. The bedroom door had squeaked.

  "Faith?" someone whispered softly. I think it was Sarah. I didn't know who else it could be. "Faith, where are you?"

  I heard the creaking of someone tiptoeing around the bed, and then the disappointed grunt. I shifted my head over to look up at Sarah, who had her arms folded with a frown. And... things were about to hit the fan as I heard Brady not far along.

  "Is she awake yet, Sarah?" My ey
es went wide, and Sarah turned her head towards Brady before he could come in all the way. "Honey, Faith is not feeling well again. Can you bring me her medicine?"

  "Sure." I heard him retreat, and Sarah turned back to me with a raised eyebrow.

  I gave her a 'what could I do?' look. I couldn't move. Not that I wanted to anyways. So I did the next best thing.

  "I sleepwalk," I told her bluntly and gave her the best innocent looking face I could give.

  Sarah rolled her eyes, nodded and walked back out. "Breakfast is almost ready. Thanks, honey," she told Brady, who was out in the hall. "I'll give it to her at breakfast. When she has food in her stomach." No one came back in as I heard footsteps retreating down the stairs.

  Reina groaned from her spot on my bed. "Daniels."

  "Yeah?"

  "I call bull."

  "It could have happened," I reasoned.

  "Liar. Liar. Pants on fire."

  I snorted. "At least, she bought it."

  I felt a head snuggle into the crook of my neck to give it a kiss, as arms tightened around my waist, almost too tight. I had to give the guy behind me a thump so he'd loosen his grip on me. "I need to breathe!"

  He snuggled in closer. "Mmm. I want to wake up like this every morning."

  I snorted. It was Kayden behind me. I pulled myself from their grips to stand up.

  "I'm so glad," I said as I stepped over them to go cuddle with Lincoln, "that you guys love each other enough cuddle."

  Raina snickered.

  I snuggled down into Lincoln's makeshift bed and put my arms around him. My cold hands slid up against his warm bare back, making him shiver. Lincoln's crystals blue eyes popped open, and he smiled when he saw me. He gave a loud yawn as he pulled me in closer. "About time I finally got you."

  I heard a groan again from Raina. "This is weird. All this mushy stuff is making me sick." She hopped out of my bed, wrapped up in my blanket and headed out the door. "I'm going to eat breakfast— Oh! Hi Mom," I heard her say out in the hall.

  Lincoln stiffened, and then Kayden and Tyler groaned. They got out of their makeshift beds and headed out my door, joining Raina and their mom, trying to give Lincoln and me more time. Was my room Grand Central Station or something? Everyone seemed to be attempting to get in.

  ***

  Raina, Tyler, and Kayden convinced their mom to head downstairs before she could even step into my room and Lincoln took that opportunity to stay behind with me. He combed his fingers through my hair to the base of my head, keeping me still as he searched my eyes worriedly. "How are you?"

  I shrugged, feeling sober. "Better I guess." His gaze was too much, so I averted my eyes to his mouth. Was he going to kiss me?

  "Hey." He tilted my head back, so my eyes once again looked into his. His thumbs rubbed slightly at my temples, making me feel loved, cherished. "I never got to say it before when everything was crazy, but I'm sorry about your brother."

  "Thank you," I whispered, as if it still was a secret, but it wasn't. The moment we were in was tender. Whispering seemed appropriate. "I still miss him, but being able to talk with Raina about it, makes it easier. She knew him. She remembers like I did. I didn't have that before. My parents didn't talk about my brother after the accident. I assumed there was too much guilt, but when my father drank, that's when anger seemed to spill out like wildfire. Even then, I never knew it was my mother. I always thought it was him."

  Lincoln's looked confused. "How did you even know? Did your parents say something?"

  "No. My parents were both at the front door with the officers when I woke up that night. I never knew that they were gone. It was just too convenient. My father had a cut on his head. We were shattered by the news. It wasn't until I heard the whispers of other people around town that I drew my own conclusion, but it was just the wrong one."

  "I'm sorry, Faith." He finally brought me in for a sweet kiss and then pulled away to hold my attention. His voice came out rough when he spoke, "Promise me you won't hide from us. That you'll come to me or my brothers for anything, even if it's small. Let us help. Please?" His crystal blue eyes held desperation, and I couldn't help but nod. The tension left his body as he leaned in once more to capture my lips.

  He was in no rush, as his lips caressed mine, sending sweet tingles throughout me. He was telling me with his kiss, that he would take care of me. Tenderness then became desperation as we both let our desire for each other takeover. His other hand moved to my waist and slipped slightly under my PJ pants near my backside to press me further into him. My body lit up as I felt his excitement with my own growing deep inside.

  "You are so sweet," he whispered between a kiss, as he quickly shifted so I was lying on my back with him surrounding me. It felt so good, as my body came alive in places that had never been touched before.

  "So beautiful," he murmured as the hand at my head moved away, and Lincoln scooted up and leaned over me as his hot mouth continued to mold with mine. My head now rested on his pillow. I tangled my fingers into his hair, encouraging him to keep going. "And mine."

  My body felt hot as the ache that started deep within me expanded, and my skin became sensitive. Like all my nerve endings in my skin woke up and were seeking attention. Lincoln's hand tightened on my hip when I softly bit his lip, and then he groaned when I soothed it with my tongue. I had never done that before, but it felt right, and he definitely liked it.

  He pressed down on me, and I moved my legs up, so my thighs cradled his hips. I could feel everything through both of our PJ pants. We were getting carried away, and I was unsure how far I was willing to go. His hand left my hip and made its way up and under my shirt so that his palm cupped the bare skin on my ribs. His fingers trailed towards my back and his thumb pressed dangerously close to the rise of my breast. I moved my mouth from his and took my hands from his hair and placed them on his hips as he kissed down to my neck.

  "I should stop," he whispered, just below my ear. I shivered. "We should stop," he clarified as my hands made the same pathway his did under his shirt, to touch his strong muscled back. His hips again pressed into me as his thumb moved at a slow, aching pace, rubbing against the side of my breast. I whimpered as they tightened and swelled, making me crazy with the pressure of Lincoln's chest against mine.

  "Shh," he said, coming back to my mouth to kiss it. "Not today, baby. Not with everyone downstairs, but soon. We all want you," he told me between kisses. His hands now soothed me as he placed them back over my shirt and tried to lessen the sexual tension between the two of us. "Look at me, Faith."

  I breathed in his woodsy scent and opened my eyes to his as he continued, "This is going to take time, this thing between me, you and my brothers. We have never done this before, but we can't seem to help ourselves when it comes to you."

  I know Lincoln had said this a few weeks ago, but I guessed I didn't really understand clearly before, like he was telling me now. I knew they were all interested. I knew that they all knew about each other, but I just thought that they would pick for me, because I could never pick between the three of them. And now he was telling me that they weren't going to pick. The fact that I'd get to keep all three of them was mind-boggling.

  Weren't the four of us too young to be deciding things like that now? I was barely seventeen, and Tyler was the oldest of all of us at twenty-one. We had time to see if this crazy attraction between them and me would stay, but I gave Lincoln the benefit of the doubt.

  "We should really stop," he whispered again against my neck. He was silent. I was silent. I thought about what he said and made a decision. I pulled my hands from out of his shirt and soothed him like he did me.

  "It's like that for me too, but with all of this family stuff going on, I've been distracted. It's not normal, Linc. It's not something people do. It's something you'd find in a hot romance novel."

  His eyes lost a little of their light as he gruffly asked me, "Do you not want us like that? Do you—"

  I couldn't listen to his unc
ertainty, his hurt, so I kissed him once more to quiet his worries. I pulled back slowly and whispered, "That's not what I'm saying. Any girl would be jealous of me having three incredibly hot guys lusting after her. I want to try. I just think we're still young. Your brothers might find someone else. Get sick of sharing me. You too."

  And I could lose my heart.

  His eyes grew fierce as his hands tightened around me. "Not happening."

  I huffed and pushed him off of me and got up. With most of my previous arousal gone, I stood there, unsure why I was mad. I wanted all of them, but I couldn't help but think what could happen in the future. If they decided it wasn’t worth it, that it was either one or none.

  Lincoln got up with me and cupped my arms to ground me to him. "Don't think about ‘what if.' Think about the ‘right now.'" He hugged me. "Please? The others will talk to you, but I can tell you that I won't ever leave you, Faith. You can trust me. Your heart is safe in my hands."

  A particular thought floated through my head as he asked that of me. Trust him.

  Chapter 7

  Lincoln finally dragged me out of my room and down to breakfast. I was sitting at the table eating breakfast while the others ate too. Everyone around me seemed to be happy and peaceful. Tyler, Brady, and Mr. McGuire were standing off to the side, eating homemade egg and bacon biscuit sandwiches while their drinks rested beside them on the counter. Sarah and Mrs. McGuire were at the stove chatting away, as the rest of us were at the table. Raina was at the end of the table with her head down looking at her phone; I assumed texting Kane. I was seated between Lincoln and Kayden, eating slowly because my stomach was in knots.

  After Lincoln romantically put his heart on the line and promised that he would never change his mind and my heart was safe with him, it made me nervous. Yes, I felt a strong pull to him and his brothers, but for him to promise something so permanent, gave me pause. Was I ready for that type of commitment?

  I wasn't interested in anybody else, and with the way my heart stuttered when they were near, or how my pulse quickened when they touched me, it made me realize that the likelihood of there being another guy out there that could make me feel the same way was highly unlikely. What the four of us had, it was rare.