She shrugged. It meant little to her. Granted, when she arrived, even before she arrived, it was paramount. But now? Now it was of little consequence. Noah was the most important part of her life now.
How would she survive without him?
She didn’t mean in a monetary sense, or even in regard to living somewhere safe. It seemed foolish, but even after just a few short months, Mary had become fond of Noah.
She shook her head. That wasn’t true. It was so far from the truth it was almost laughable. She had come to love Noah, and couldn’t imagine her life without him. A tear trickled down her face, and Mary swiped at her cheeks. She was being foolish. It was clear she was nothing but a convenience. A way to get his inheritance.
Noah wasn’t interested in her, and had no feelings for her. He was likely counting the days until he could be rid of her.
She flopped down on the bed she’d just finished making. Life could be cruel, and this went beyond cruel. Short of throwing herself at her husband, Mary was doomed to a life of loneliness. What would happen to her once she was no longer part of Noah’s life, she had no idea.
What she did know was she needed to start thinking about her future. She needed to plan her life after Noah – and that time was fast approaching.
~*~
Noah sat at the head of the table, Seth and Jacob sat either side.
Mary had worked endlessly throughout the day. It wasn’t everyday you got to entertain family. She stopped and thought. She did have a family now, something she’d never had before. The table was dressed with Noah’s best tablecloth and napkins, and she’d pulled out the best crockery she could find.
A freshly baked loaf of bread sat in the center of the table, and a plate of butter at each end. “Help yourselves,” she said as Noah finished slicing the bread. “Supper won’t be long.”
A sparkling white dinner plate sat in front of each man, and another was there for Mary. The table was dressed as though it was Christmas.
“Going by the smell, we’re in for a treat,” Jacob said.
She pulled the oven door ajar and leaned in. “It sure does smell good,” Mary said. The heavy kitchen cloths she used on the oven dish stopped her from burning her hands. “I hope you all like lamb.” She turned to face them, the hot dish still in her hands, then placed it on the wooden board on the counter top.
“That looks amazing, Mary.” Noah came up behind her and took over, placing the lamb roast onto a plate where he could carve. As he carved, she dished out the vegetables and began to make the gravy, using the delicious juices from the meat.
“You are far too spoiled,” Seth told Noah. “I just about live on beans and bacon.”
Noah chuckled. “That was me before Mary came along. She’s an amazing cook, as you can see.”
Placing the gravy into two jugs, she placed one either end of the table. “Before we eat, I’d like to say something.” Mary’s heart thudded in her chest. It wasn’t often she had to make a speech, even if it was only to three people. When she glanced up, the three men were staring at her. Suddenly nervous, she sat down and placed her napkin on her lap.
“It’s alright, Mary,” Noah said. “We’re all family here.” As if he could sense how nervous she really was, he reached out and covered her hand. A shiver went through her.
She glanced at each man. They looked as tense as she felt. “I, I just wanted to thank you, each of you, for saving my life.” She was met with silence.
Finally Jacob spoke. “There was never a question,” he said quietly. “We look out for family, and you are a big part of ours now.”
“That’s right,” Seth said.
She swallowed down the lump in her throat.
Then they all held hands and Noah said the blessing. “Thank you Lord for this abundance of food, and for sending Mary to us. We pray for the strength to grow as a family and face all challenges you send us. Amen.”
Amen echoed around the table.
Mary’s heart fluttered at his words.
Plates were filled, and light banter surrounded her. Warmth filled Mary as she finally felt as though she belonged.
It was such a joy to have real food to cook with. Not to mention surrounded by men who appreciated her cooking.
She had a blueberry pie cooling on the counter, along with a bread and butter pudding. Both favorites with Noah.
She sat back on her chair and glanced around the table. The three men talked about their various properties and what was going on with them. Suddenly Noah studied her. “I’m sorry. This discussion must be rather boring to you.”
“I was rather enjoying it,” she said. “Father never spoke at the table.”
“Never?” Jacob asked.
“No, never.” Except when he told her she was to marry Johnny Parsons. She preferred to forget that conversation. Mary waved her hands in front of her, dismissing the conversation. “How is your food?”
Seth grinned. “It is brilliant. I should pay you to cook for me every night. Better still, I could come here.”
Noah glared at him. “It’s never going to happen. Be grateful you were invited here tonight.” Then he chuckled and Mary let go of the breath she’d been holding.
As the men finished their meal, she collected up the dishes and placed them in the sink. She cleared the table and prepared to serve dessert for her guests.
“Honestly,” Jacob said. “This has to be the best meal I’ve ever eaten.” Seth agreed. It made her feel warm inside.
Noah came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “You did a wonderful job,” he said, then kissed her cheek. If only it was real instead of being for the benefit of his brothers. He lifted each of the desserts and placed them on the table. “Tuck in,” he said.
Mary prepared the mugs for their coffee, then sat down.
She smiled at the groans of delight that echoed around the table. All in all, it was a successful night. It had been a thank you gesture from the start, and she felt sure it had done the trick.
“Tell me where you learned to cook like this,” Seth asked.
“My mother. She was a terrific cook. At least she was before things got bad.” Mary was horrified. She’d said too much and now everyone was staring at her.
Only her husband understood the context, and he reached out and gently squeezed her hand. “Well, wherever you learned to cook, we are all grateful for it. Aren’t we boys?”
His brothers both nodded despite being confused. Suddenly they each took another mouthful of food.
“This really is delicious,” Jacob said. “I’m not sure how you turn stale bread into such a delicacy, but you’ve done it,” he said, reaching for another helping.
His comment made her smile. “The secret is in the jam,” she said. Mary stood to make their coffees, then turned to face the three brothers. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you coming tonight,” she said, her emotions beginning to bubble over. “Go into the sitting room when you are ready, and I’ll bring your beverages.”
She turned back before Noah spotted her tears. It was all far too much. The appreciation these three showed in one night, was far more than she’d received in a lifetime before.
How was she ever going to leave Broken Arrow Ranch? Worse still, how was she going to leave Noah – the only person who had ever meant anything to her.
Chapter Eight
“Last night was terrific,” Noah said as he prepared to set out the next morning. “The food was delicious, and my brothers were really taken with you.”
One moment she felt warm all over – she really liked Seth and Jacob – and the next she felt hollow. Not only would she have to leave Noah, whom she’d come to love, but also his brothers. They were decent people, all of them, and they’d made her feel like part of their family.
She swallowed down the lump in her throat. “It was a lovely evening,” she told him quietly.
He reached out and put an arm around her shoulder. “I’m sure it helped sending them home with
leftovers.” He grinned down at her. “You made enough food to feed a small army.”
Before Mary had a chance to answer or protest Noah pulled her to him and kissed her. Not gently on the cheek like an aunt or uncle might do, but directly on the lips.
His mouth came down over hers and her heart fluttered. She felt warm all over, and her arms slid up around him without her permission. She tipped her head back to give him more access to her, and she admonished herself. That was not the act of a lady. But then again, they were married, and this was what she’d been waiting for all these months. Wasn’t it?
His hands slid into her hair, and she felt the pins come out one by one until her hair cascaded down her back. He lifted a piece of her hair and sniffed it, then suddenly he pushed her away, as if she was forbidden fruit, and touching her might kill him. She stared up into his face. She felt hurt, pained at the fact he didn’t want her after all, so his next words took her by surprise.
“I want you, Mary,” he said, his voice husky. “Like I’ve never wanted anyone before.” Without warning, he slipped his strong arms underneath her and carried her to the bedroom. His bedroom. She didn’t complain, and soon she was Noah’s wife in every sense of the word.
When she awoke, Noah was gone. He’d been so gentle with her, caring and loving.
Was this what it would be like to be Noah’s wife? For the first time in her life, it felt as though someone cared for her. Really cared for her, not just because she could clean house and cook, but it was as though she meant something to him.
Which was crazy because she’d been here all this time and it was only now that he’d wanted to... Of course men had longings, and their wives need to fulfil those longings. She was surprised he’d waited so long.
She suddenly sat up in bed, her heart pounding. How long had she laid about like a lady of leisure? She needed to prepare supper, not to mention organize the household chores. The last thing she wanted was for him to think of her as lazy. Just because they’d…she swallowed…it didn’t mean she got to laze around and do nothing.
Mary stood, then straightened the bed, embarrassed at the thoughts of what had occurred in that bed a short time ago. She had to get it through her head she was a true married woman now, and this is what men expected of their wives. She suddenly realized she stood naked. Noah had slowly removed every item of clothing from her body, and then removed his own. At first she was shocked to see him undressed. She’d never seen a naked man before.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. She felt the heat creep up her face at the memory of the first time she’d seen him – that day in the bathtub. But she’d averted her eyes as quickly as she possibly could.
But he really was beautiful to look at, and Mary decided she would never tire of seeing him that way. Then it hit her, this was meant to be a marriage of convenience. Or was she a convenience to him?
Was that how it would be from now on – that Noah would use her body when it was convenient to him?
She felt hollow and wasn’t sure what she should do now. She couldn’t leave, she’d signed the contract and agreed to stay for one whole year. There was far too much time left on that contract.
One thing she did know – it was going to be a very long year. It seemed silly, but after only a matter of months, she felt enamored to the man. No, that wasn’t true. Mary was deeply in love with him.
~*~
The sun was shining, the air was warm, and Mary decided to work in the garden. She’d recently planted all the vegetables Seth had obtained for her, but there was still a lot to do. The garden beds had been overgrown with weeds, and it had proven a lot of work to be rid of them.
The chickens had a great curiosity toward those plants too, and it was all Mary could do to keep them away. “Shoo! Shoo!” she told them as she stood up to chase them away. She loved the eggs they produced, but had never been fond of chickens. Especially the ones that pecked.
Nor did she like roosters. She’d been harassed by more than one rooster over the years. She shivered. They really did bother her.
She collected up the eggs and took them inside. Noah had stopped selling the eggs to the mercantile. He didn’t need the money, and most of the time Mary used them up with her baking. If there was one thing she knew about Noah, it was that he loved food. In particular, he loved her food. If she were truthful, she loved to cook for him. With all the supplies at her fingertips, Mary got so much joy from baking.
She spent the time to bake for him, and he spent the time teaching her to read and write. It was slow going, but she was coming along nicely. At least that’s what Noah told her, so she had to believe it.
Tonight they would have a beef stew with dumplings for supper. Noah’s favorite.
With supper organized, and the laundry on the line, it was time for a break. Mary pulled a mug down from the cupboard. It was then she heard the commotion out front. The chickens were making quite a racket, and she ran to the front door.
“For goodness sakes, go away,” Seth was saying, chasing the chickens away with his hat. He glanced up at her, frowning. “How do you stand the horrible creatures?”
She couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t like them either,” she said. “But I need their eggs. Occasionally one will lose their head.”
He appeared shocked at her words and studied her. “Seriously?”
Mary’s smile disappeared. “Of course. Sometimes when you have no food to eat, you have to sacrifice future eggs. It’s the way of the world.” She shrugged her shoulders, then held the door open for him. “Noah’s not here.” She glanced back over her shoulder at him, curious as to why he was here.
Seth followed her into the kitchen and slumped down at the table. “I was in the area, and longed for a coffee,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d mind.” He suddenly grinned.
Mary chuckled. It wasn’t her coffee he’d come for, but her baking. “I just happen to have an orange cake. Freshly baked yesterday.” She didn’t bother to ask if he’d like some – she already knew the answer.
She pulled the tin down from the overhead cupboard and the cake on the wooden board. She placed a plate laden with sliced cake in front of Seth. He reached over and took a bite. “This is delicious,” he told her. “If you ever decide you no longer want Noah, I’m your man.” He grinned cheekily and Mary knew he was joking.
She stared at him over the top of her mug. “You should get yourself a wife. Make sure she can bake first.”
He almost spat his coffee out, then became suddenly serious. “I do have to find a wife, like Noah did. At least I have more time, but still, it has to happen eventually.”
Mary swallowed. Another woman would be put in the same situation as her. “Make sure you love her, Seth.” She blinked rapidly, trying to force her tears away.
He stared at her curiously. “Noah loves you.”
She was too overcome with emotion to speak, and shook her head instead.
“Mary,” he said, reaching across to cover her hand. It was big like Noah’s and every bit as work roughened. “Noah loves you. It is very plain to everyone who sees the two of you together.”
She tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. “The truth is,” she said quietly. “Noah only tolerates me because of the will. If he didn’t have to keep me here because of the contract, he would have rid himself of me by now.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn’t stop the flow.
Seth stared at her. “You can’t mean that. Noah loves you, he does.” Seth stepped toward her, and pulled Mary to him. His arms were comforting, but she knew she shouldn’t allow herself to be held by a man who was not her husband. What if Noah came home? She didn’t want to be the cause of a rift between the brothers.
His fingers under her chin forced Mary to look up at him. It was almost like staring at Noah. “Do you love him, Mary?” He looked sad, as though he really cared for her. “Do you want to be Noah’s wife?”
Her voice barely audible, she answered him. “I do.”
“Then…”
“What are you doing holding my wife?” The door slammed and Noah stormed in. Mary’s heart pounded and her head hurt.
“It’s not what you think,” Mary told him.
He dragged his wife from Seth’s arms. “Are you alright?” He stared down into her face. “You’ve been crying. What did you do to her, Seth?” Noah stiffened and glared at his brother.
“It’s not what I did,” Seth said, extending himself to his full height, which was taller than Noah. “It’s what you didn’t do.” He turned to Mary. “Thanks for the coffee and cake. Sort it out – for both your sakes, sort it out.” He snatched up his hat from the rack at the door, and was gone before Mary could say another word.
Noah held her away and stared at her. “Did Seth hurt you?”
She shoved herself away from him. “Of course not. That’s what you did.”
Noah looked confused. “What I did? I don’t understand.”
“I can’t do it, Noah. I can’t continue to be your wife.” She took a long, shuddering breath. Her husband studied her. He truly didn’t understand what was going on. “I know when I’m not wanted, so I’ll pack my things and go.” His face was devoid of all color.
“I don’t understand,” he whispered. “I know I don’t say it enough, but I love you, Mary. Don’t leave me.” She’d never seen him look so utterly devastated.
She stared at the floor. “You’ve never said it, so how do I know you’re not just saying that?”
He reached out and pulled her against him. “I do love you, Mary. I have from that first day.”
Did he? Did he really, or was he only trying to appease her? “You don’t act like it,” she snapped. “All these months, and you only recently took me to your bed.”
“I don’t force women,” he said, staring down into her face. “You didn’t seem to be willing, so I left you alone.” His thumb swiped at her tears. “Please don’t cry. You’re breaking my heart. I don’t want you to leave either. I want you to stay.”
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