She made a small circle around her home, turning off the lights and pulling curtains and blankets into place. She wasn’t a total neat freak, but she liked order. The TV was still on in her bedroom, and she picked up the remote to shut it off just as an ad for Hollister Training Centre came on. The ad panned across what must’ve been the inside of the gym, with two boxing rings in the center and equipment lining the walls. Grayson himself appeared at the very end of the ad, holding the camera with a steady gaze and inviting her to stop in for a free training session and a discount off his next boot camp. It wasn’t slick, but it was effective, mostly because of the man doing the talking.
“Bet he has more women chasing him than he knows what to do with,” she said aloud.
A knock came on her door, and she turned off the TV. Had to be Grayson. No one else ventured onto her property. Maybe he’d be holding another carton of eggs. Every few weeks, he dropped by with one. She’d grown to love the flavor of them and was spoiled now; eggs she bought at the grocery store tasted stale and flat in comparison.
But not this time.
This time, her neighbor was holding a baby carrier, with what looked like a very healthy baby inside.
“What on earth...?”
His face was white. A sheen of perspiration covered his forehead. “I don’t know. She just showed up.”
For all his height and bulk, the guy looked like he might fall over. A German shepherd followed close behind, looking concerned. When Kara bent down to look inside the carrier, the dog woofed and nosed its way through her open door.
“Turk, stay back,” Grayson ordered, but Kara waved him off.
“He’s fine. Come on in.”
The baby was adorable. A little girl, if Kara had to guess, though the green and white striped onesie didn’t give anything away. The baby burbled up at Kara with a gummy smile and pale blue eyes that reminded her of Harrison at that age. But then the full meaning of Grayson’s words struck her.
“What do you mean, she just showed up?”
He was literally wringing his hands as he stood on her doorstep.
“Come inside. You look like you’re going to pass out.” She took the baby carrier and led dog and man into her living room. “Can I get you some water?”
“Please.” He sat on her sofa, an enormous masculine presence inside a house that hadn’t had one in four or five years. Tattoos up and down his arms and legs, muscles that popped in all directions, and a faint scent of soap and shampoo. A jaw line that belonged on a magazine cover, and a worried expression that endeared him to Kara at once.
A twinge of something far away and unfamiliar teased her. Good Lord, she hardly ever noticed what a man looked like these days. She’d sworn off romantic involvement so long ago, it was like a different life. But she’d have to be dead and six feet underground not to notice the raw sexuality of the man sitting in her living room.
Kara set the carrier on her kitchen table while she poured Grayson a glass of water. “Here.”
He drank it in one long, single gulp. His dog wandered back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, until Kara finally picked the baby up and settled it on her lap. She sat in the rocker opposite Grayson and waited.
He dug a crumpled piece of paper from the pocket of his shorts. “This was in between the diapers.”
Kara took the paper and read it. She wasn’t surprised, to be honest. It wouldn’t be a stretch of the imagination to think Grayson left a trail of women, broken hearts, and babies he didn’t know about behind him.
“I know what that says,” he said, “but she’s not mine. She can’t be.”
Kara looked at the paper again. Jade. It was a pretty name, though an unusual one for the South.
“I was getting ready for work, and Turk was going crazy. When I opened the door, there she was.” He looked at Kara. “Did you see a red car drive down here? Maybe an hour ago? That has to be who left her.” His cheeks flamed. “Who does that, anyway? Who leaves a baby on the front porch of a stranger’s house?”
Maybe you’re not a stranger to the person who left her there.
But Kara left the comment unsaid. He seemed so distraught, and so sure he wasn’t the father, that she didn’t want to push or pry. Instead, she looked down at Jade as she rocked back and forth. The sweet smell of baby skin took her right back to holding her newborn granddaughter, and before that, to her first days with Harrison after she brought him home from the hospital. He’d been a cranky, colicky baby, and she’d still been living at home at that point, so she’d spent many sleepless nights trying to comfort him. But this baby didn’t seem cranky or colicky in the least. She waved her little fists in the air and tried to focus on Kara’s face.
“Well, she’s beautiful. And she seems healthy enough.”
“There was a bottle in the carrier and a couple of diapers.” Grayson stood and began pacing around the tiny living room. “I didn’t know what else to do. I thought you might have some idea.”
“You should probably call the police.” The dog sat beside her rocker, sniffed Jade, then put his head on his front paws and closed his eyes.
“That’s what I thought too, at first.”
“But?”
He cracked every knuckle in both hands. Kara’s gaze moved over his arms, trying to read his tattoos. Most were intricate, with lines that crisscrossed and formed patterns or words before disappearing up his sleeves. She saw something that looked like a panther, the American flag, a cross with a date under it. Someone’s name. Another, different date. A trophy. A sunrise. Do you have your whole life written on your skin? She glanced down at the scar on her own arm. She hadn’t chosen that reminder of her former life, but it was there just the same, permanent as any tattoo.
“What if she is mine? I’m not saying she is. I really don’t think she could be.” He dropped his chin. “How old do you think she is?”
“Couple of months. Maybe three or four.”
He nodded and went even paler than before. “So there’s a chance.”
Kara chose her next words carefully. “Do you want to try and find the mother first? Before you involve the police?”
“She’d be charged with abandonment or something, right? If they knew she left Jade on a doorstep?”
“I would think so.”
“What would happen to...?” He gestured at Kara’s lap.
“She’d probably be put into a foster home. Social Services would open a case and take it from there.”
He stuffed both hands into his pockets. “I don’t know what to do.”
Kara bounced Jade on her lap. She was a chubby thing, certainly well-fed and cared for up to that point. Kara wondered what set of circumstances had brought her mother, or whoever had left her on Grayson’s porch, to abandon her.
I could never have done that to Harrison.
But in the middle of the darkest nights, on the occasions when her boyfriend’s stepfather came home drunk and angry and demanding, she’d almost understood how someone could. If your life was so frighteningly awful that you couldn’t see any way out of it, and if you had a child you loved more than life itself, wouldn’t you give that child up to save him or her?
“If she is your child,” she hedged, “is there a chance you know who the mother is? Or where you could find her?”
He colored.
“Listen, Grayson, I’m not passing judgment here. I’m about the last person in the world to do that. If I can help you, I will.”
“Really?” Relief splashed across his face.
Good Lord, her livelihood was spent helping people in dire straits. “Of course.” She stood and nestled Jade close to her shoulder. “Let me see if she’ll take a bottle.”
“You know how to do that?”
Turk sat up and whined the minute she left the living room. He followed her into the kitchen and watched as she put Jade back into the carrier, then opened the cupboard.
“Of course I know how to do that.” She found some powdere
d formula and mixed it up. She wasn’t taking any chances with the bottle Grayson had found with the baby. Whatever was inside might’ve been hours old. “I have a granddaughter who’s almost a year old,” she added.
When he didn’t say anything, she looked over her shoulder. He was still standing in the middle of her living room, his mouth hanging open. “You’re a grandmother?”
“Let’s not use that word,” she said as she washed out the bottle. “Charity isn’t old enough to call me anything yet, but I’m hoping when she does, it’ll be something like Mimi or Noni. Something cool.”
“There’s no way you’re old enough to be a—” He stopped, paused a second. “There’s no way you’re old enough.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Kara poured the formula into the bottle and sat down at the kitchen table. “I had my son when I was sixteen. He had Charity when he was twenty-one, although he was a hell of a lot more mature than I was at that age.” The baby took to the bottle at once, to Kara’s relief. So I know all about single parenthood. “I see plenty of young parents at the pantry,” she said. A sudden thought struck her. Every now and again, girls she didn’t recognize came into Helping Hands. They were friends of friends, nomads who stayed in the area for a few months before moving on, and they lived on the outskirts of town or on the other dead-end roads on the mountain, homeless or in tents or broken-down RVs someone had abandoned long ago.
Was it possible one of those girls had left Jade on Grayson’s porch by mistake? Most people in Yawketuck knew where Kara lived, and that didn’t bother her. It was a small town, after all, and safe enough. But maybe a desperate mother had meant to leave the baby with Kara instead of Grayson and just gotten the wrong house.
She’s yours.
The line on the note seemed to suggest otherwise, but who knew? Maybe She’s yours simply meant I’m giving her up to you.
Kara looked over at Grayson, then back at Jade. Something tugged at her heart. Either way, whether this baby was meant for him or for her, they had their work cut out for them.
“And here I thought it was going to be an ordinary Tuesday,” she said. “Good thing I keep a car seat in the garage. After she’s done with this bottle, you and I need to figure out where Jade came from.”
She kept her attention focused on the baby and not on Grayson’s smile of relief, because, oh good Lord, that smile could be a woman’s undoing.
Noon
A granddaughter? Grayson scratched his head as he opened Kara’s garage door. He never would’ve guessed it. Doing the math in his head, he figured she must be around thirty-seven or thirty-eight, just a couple years older than him. She sure didn’t look it. She had a rocking body and a smile that could light up this side of the mountain. Plus she was smart as hell and ran the entire Helping Hands food pantry on her own.
He felt along the wall of the garage to flip on a light before he tripped over something, but as soon as he could see, he realized he needn’t have worried. Kara McGarrity’s garage was as organized as the inside of her house. Her two-door silver Mazda was parked in the exact center. Two garbage cans sat by the door next to a lawnmower. Cabinets hung on the wall, labeled with hand-lettered signs like Christmas Decorations and Garden Things. He whistled. Should have her come over and organize my place. He didn’t live in a pigsty, but he was a bachelor, after all. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d labeled anything.
A small, upright toolbox sat against the wall opposite the garbage cans, along with a row of large plastic bins labeled in the same careful handwriting. On top of the closest one was a blue and gray car seat. It looked an awful lot like the thing Jade had arrived in, but when he picked it up, he could see there were more straps involved. The panic that he’d managed to control earlier returned twice as strong.
Kara owns it, so she must know how to use it, right?
He’d never felt more inadequate in all his life.
“Is this it?” he asked as he walked back inside.
She was standing at the kitchen sink, rinsing out the bottle as Turk watched from her feet. She looked over her shoulder and nodded. “Do you know how to put it into a car?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
She laughed. “Sorry. I thought maybe you’d had some experience at some point.”
I tend to avoid dating women with children, he almost said. Actually, most of what he’d done in his adult life probably didn’t count as dating at all. He didn’t make a habit of taking women out to dinner or buying them lingerie or jewelry. He mostly met them in bars, bought them drinks, and then slept with them until they got tired of him or vice versa.
“Nope,” was all he said. “You do, I’m guessing.”
She wiped her hands on a towel and leaned over to check on Jade. The baby’s eyes were heavy, and she looked like she’d fall asleep at any moment. “She needs a diaper change.”
“I don’t know how to do that either.”
Kara didn’t say anything, just picked up the baby and the diapers and disappeared into a small half bathroom off the kitchen. Grayson put the car seat on the floor. Shit, he felt useless. He cracked his knuckles and paced around the first floor, looking at the few pictures hanging in the living room, until Kara and Jade emerged again.
“There we go.” She tucked the dirty diaper into the garbage can near the back door. Her T-shirt pulled up a little as she did, and Grayson could see the smooth skin of her back. Just above the tight lift in her ass. He didn’t know what Kara did to stay in shape, but it worked. She had a body that rivaled some of the twenty-two-year-olds who came to his gym six days a week.
Stop looking at her like that.
But Grayson was already having a hell of a time giving up booze. He couldn’t give up admiring women too. And just because he was admiring one particular woman right then didn’t mean he had to sleep with her.
“Here,” she said, and he snapped out of his reverie. Kara held out the baby. “Can you take her for a few minutes while I get ready?”
“Ah, sure.” Jade kicked her legs and squealed, and he was terrified he’d drop her until she settled into his arms. “Is this right?”
She laughed “Yes, it’s fine. Babies don’t usually break. They’re sturdier than you might imagine.” She washed a few dishes in the sink and then disappeared into another room.
Grayson’s heart was beating almost out of his chest. Jade was so small. So helpless. Sure, he held the kittens on his lap, even played with them once in a while, but this was a tiny person. What if he did something wrong? What if he hurt her? He tried rocking her, but she wrinkled her nose, and he was afraid she might cry again. Gently, he returned her to the carrier. In less than a minute, her eyes closed.
“Can you take off work today?” Kara asked as she reappeared. “Maybe ask around, make some calls? You said you had an idea who the mother might be, right?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I can make arrangements for someone to cover me at work. And then....” He cracked his knuckles again. “I have some places I could go, a few people I could check in with.”
He looked at the sleeping baby. Man, she was beautiful, and that was saying something, because he’d seen pictures of kids who weren’t half as cute as Jade. She looked like she could be on the cover of a parenting magazine. For a long moment, he studied her, trying to find any resemblance of himself in her features. Her eyes were blue, he knew that much, but so were a lot of people’s. Her face was round, unlike his, and her hair was dark, also unlike his. But under the skin? And as she grew up? Maybe she’d have his short temper, his determination, his fascination with music and anything that moved. If he was even the father.
She’s yours.
Was she? Could she possibly be? He still didn’t think so, but so much before the last ninety-six days was blurred, there was a chance.
“I have a friend who’s a pediatrician,” Kara said, breaking into his thoughts. “I’m thinking I might give her a call and see if she can squeeze me in, take a l
ook at Jade and make sure she’s okay.”
“That would be great.”
“She’s over in Greenway, off the interstate. Dr. Park. Do you know her? It’s tough to get an appointment, but we’ve known each other for ages. I think she’ll probably do me a favor.”
“Do you think... I mean, should I come with you?”
“Up to you. Do you trust me with her?” She cocked a brow, and hell if he could tell whether she was messing with him or not.
“Of course.” Shit, Kara was about a thousand times more qualified to take care of Jade than he was, and they both knew it.
She took her phone from her pocket and began texting. “I’d better give Sandie a heads-up. I haven’t seen her in almost a year, and if I walk into her office with a baby, she’ll probably think it’s mine.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” He felt like an ass putting the responsibility on her, but what was he supposed to do?
Kara was shaking her head. Her phone pinged with a text, then another. “I have your number. I’ll text you when I’m done.” She glanced up at him. “Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I’ve asked Sandie to look at a baby who was left behind.”
“Seriously?”
“Couple of years ago, a group or young kids came into the pantry. Well, I call ’em kids, though they were probably in their early twenties. Stayed for a meal, used the restroom, and then left a baby behind. Little boy, not even a week old. Didn’t leave a note with him, so I’d say you’re lucky you know Jade’s name.”
Grayson whistled. “Shit.”
“Last I knew, he was adopted by a couple over by Nashville. Happy ending for everyone.” But her face darkened. “Hell of thing to do, though, leaving a baby in the hands of strangers. Only reason I went in there after they left was because I heard the toilet running. Otherwise, it could’ve been hours before anyone found him.”
She had bluish gray eyes, he noticed, and long dark lashes that matched her hair. High cheekbones and a full mouth.
Stop looking at her like that. What was wrong with him? Here he was, in practically a life-or-death situation, and he was getting hard because of Kara McGarrity’s lips. Maybe he really was that fucked up. Maybe he really did have an addictive personality, and if it wasn’t pills or booze or boxing that drove him on, it was women and sex. Maybe he’d never be able to simply take things one step at a time, one day at a time, the way everyone preached at the damn AA meetings. Maybe he was one of the few who couldn’t be saved.
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