But as Nick tightened his arms around her, she felt her own release as she slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. She could feel his damp cheeks on her skin, the sound of his ragged breath in her ear. She clung to him for survival, weeping against him for the loss of his son, the loss of her son, and the unimaginable new world they now had to suffer through.
A soft clearing of the throat brought their attention back to reality. Anna jerked back from Nick to see Sheriff Gibson standing in her doorway. She brushed her palm against her eyes, pressing the tears away.
“Come on in, Sheriff,” Anna said, stepping aside, and then asked Nick, “Where’s Nora?”
Nick turned his sorrowful gaze away from the sheriff, who walked past them. When they were alone again, he answered. “Home. She hasn’t gotten out of bed in days.”
Anna sighed, resting a hand on his arm. “Oh, Nick.” She hadn’t spoken to her best friend since the night Jameson and Nick had returned home with the unimaginable news that the boys’ bodies had been found at Oracle Point. Grief was the most selfish emotion. She had been too wrapped up in her own to be strong for her friend.
“Anna,” he whispered, resting his hand on top of hers. “I don’t know how to be brave for her anymore.” He entangled his fingers with her own. “I’ve been so worried about you.”
Anna nodded tearfully. They both knew that nothing would ever be the same. That whatever was happening between them would never be. They both had to learn how to cope with their new normal, but to do it together would only destroy their families more. She didn’t know if she loved Jameson anymore. Right now, her heart was only filled with sorrow. But she knew, no matter what she was feeling, that she would never be allowed to love Nick.
Instead of planning graduation parties together, they would now be planning funerals.
She squeezed his fingers and let her hand drop from his arm. He followed her into the parlor where just over a week ago they’d sat with the chief of police, discussing the whereabouts of their sons.
Jameson, who stood by the liquor cabinet, nodded at Nick when he walked into the room. It was only just past noon, but Jameson poured himself a drink anyway, his second of the day.
His head pounded, and his eyes burned from lack of sleep. He kept to himself in his office, afraid to be near Anna, to see her grief. He didn’t know how to comfort her when he was filled with such rage.
Anna walked past her husband without a glance and wrapped her arm around Kate’s shoulder. Anna may have never cared for Caleb, but that didn’t keep her from mourning with his mother.
Kate managed an appreciative smile at her. Unlike Anna, Kate craved the physical touch she’d been denied since Caleb had gone missing. Kate envied Anna and Nora for having spouses and family to bear this burden with. Kate went home and cried alone.
She noticed the way the Jameson eyed her, sideways and with loud accusations. He told her without speaking that this was all her fault. It was always Caleb’s doing, never Ethan and J.R.’s, and now Kate had to pay the ultimate price of guilt for the rest of her life.
“Thank you for opening your home, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson,” the sheriff said, taking a seat on the velvet couch. “I had hoped for a more intimate setting outside of the station.”
Anna guided Kate to a seat and pulled up an adjacent chair. Her eye caught Nick’s as he sat on the couch facing the sheriff, while Jameson stood stiffly with his drink.
“My deepest condolences are with you,” the sheriff continued. “I know you are looking for answers, for any reason why something this horrific could happen, and I want you to know that we are working with you.”
“Thank you, Sheriff,” Nick managed.
“With the results of the autopsy, we concluded that the cause of death was in fact due to the fall.” A hush of breath was heard around the room as everyone let that sink in. The sheriff continued. “We saw no suspicious marks that could lead us to believe foul play was involved.”
Jameson slammed his glass down, making everyone startle and look in his direction. “You’re telling me I am to believe that my son drove up to Oracle Point and willingly jumped off a cliff?”
“I understand that is a hard concept to wrap your mind around, Mayor.”
“No, Sheriff, that is not a hard concept. It’s a downright impossible one. My son had a bright future in front of him. He had a family who loved and supported him.” Jameson choked out the last words. “He had everything he could ever need. He would not throw that away.”
Anna teared up listening to her husband.
“Of course, Mr. Hudson,” the sheriff said carefully. “But we must look at the facts at hand. We have no indication that there was suspicious activity. Instead, we have three bodies that perished from a fall, and a suicide note.”
Nick shrank at the reminder of Ethan’s words.
“You have one suicide note,” the mayor clarified sharply. “That says nothing about what my boy was doing face down in the lake!”
Anna shivered. The image of J.R. floating in the water haunted her sleep. She wondered if there would ever be a time when she closed her eyes and didn’t see him lying there.
Silence hovered as Jameson glared at the sheriff. “You need to do your job and get out there and find out what happened. This is not a closed case, Sheriff.”
“Mayor, I want you to understand this will never be a closed case for me. But I also want to make clear that none of you have given us anything to go off of, besides a poorly played football game. If you have any leads, anything at all that could indicate that this was somehow not self-induced, I will jump on it. In the meantime, we are waiting for toxicology reports to come back, that may help explain their state of mind at the time.”
Jameson picked up his drink again and shot it back. He needed to stay numb. When he was sober, his mind wandered into places so dark he was afraid he’d never get out. He poured himself another drink, avoiding his wife’s disapproving glare.
“Sheriff,” a timid voice spoke up. Everyone turned to look at Kate. “I need to know,” she started before sucking in a deep breath. Where was Rex when she needed him most? It should have been him here instead of the sheriff. This was his town, his boys, and his domain. She was furious when she learned that the mayor had fired him when he was vital to this case.
“Yes, Ms. Weston,” the sheriff encouraged.
Anna placed a gentle hand on her forearm, willing her to speak her mind. Kate let out her breath and said, “Do you know… I mean, could the coroner tell if they suffered at all?”
She felt Anna’s fingers grip tighter on her arm. The sheriff gave her an understanding nod. “In the circumstance regarding Ethan and J.R.,” he said, looking between Nick and Anna. “The distance of the fall would have led to a zero chance survival rate. Though I have no way of actually knowing, we believe they died on impact.” He turned his gaze to Kate. “Caleb’s body was found at a shorter, but still fatal distance. The coroner noted that there was no dirt on his hands or fingernails indicating that he may have survived the initial fall and then tried to climb his way back up. So I believe that the answer is no. They did not suffer.”
Kate let out a sob as she nodded her head. Anna closed her eyes, finding the only sense of comfort she had felt since her son had gone missing.
The sheriff stood from the couch. “I can be reached at any time, day or night, if you come across any information that could help us vindicate your sons.” He looked up at Jameson, who was still scowling in the corner. “A word in private, please, Mayor?”
Jameson huffed as he followed the sheriff to the grand entryway. Alone, the sheriff treaded carefully as he said, “I don’t mean to overstep, Mayor. And I respect that emotions are high at this time. But I’d like you to reconsider firing Chief Tourney.”
Jameson’s back stiffened as if he were being scolded by a teacher.
“He’s a fine man and chief, and I know he cares deeply for this town.” The sheriff waited for a response, and
when one didn’t come, he offered his condolences once again and saw himself out.
Two days earlier
She had been avoiding him, that much Ethan could tell. She hadn’t come to school all week. He obsessively checked the halls, kept an eye on her friends, and waited near her locker in hopes that she would turn up. He got the odd eye from those who watched him hiding behind plants, waiting and ready to pounce the moment he saw her, but that time never came. Her friends smiled and waved to him in passing, and he knew in his gut she hadn’t told them about Saturday night. If she had, they would be spitting in his face.
Several times at lunch he snuck away to the office to call her at home, but the phone just rang and rang, eventually going to voicemail. Once he even carelessly left a message saying that he hoped to talk to her. He wondered if she ever got the message.
He was in a tailspin, his world turning upside down as everything he’d ever known to be true no longer was.
His dad was having an affair with his best friend’s mom.
His best friends had committed the most heinous crime, one that he could have prevented.
He hated his friends, hated his dad, and had never felt more alone in the world. And he had nothing to look forward to. The future he had planned with Caleb and J.R. now looked bleak. He wanted nothing to do with them.
They tried to talk to him at school, but he avoided them at all costs. J.R. looked crazed and paranoid every time he saw him, like he was afraid Ethan would call the cops on him and tell. Caleb was, well, Caleb. A total jackass, acting as though Ethan was the one with the problem. They’d ended up having a heated fight in the locker room after practice the night before that was the unraveling of a long friendship. Ethan didn’t care that the Huskies coach was watching their game tonight; he would not be following J.R. and Caleb to The University of Washington.
Sitting in Econ, he couldn’t concentrate. He ripped off a piece of paper and began to write.
Lila,
Please talk to me. I’ve been so worried about you. I feel sick about what happened and know it’s all my fault. And you may never forgive me for leaving you there, but I have to try and beg for your forgiveness. I hate them for what they did to you. And I will do whatever it takes to get your trust back.
I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.
Ethan
When the bell rang, he jumped up from his seat and took his folded note in his hand and walked toward her locker. He would slip it through the slats and that way, when she came to school on Monday, she would see it. And then, maybe she would know how horrible he felt and how much he wanted to talk to her.
“Ethan!”
The familiar voice startled him as he stood in front of Lila’s locker. He didn’t bother turning around. “Fuck off, J.R..”
“Come on, man,” he said, leaning up against the metal. He was agitated, scratching at his head like there were bugs in his hair. He looked like hell, which Ethan figured he deserved.
Ethan slipped the note into the back of his jeans and started to walk away.
“We just need to talk,” J.R. was saying on his tail. “Come on, I know I screwed up, but you can’t keep avoiding me.” He grabbed his friend by the arm and turned him around. “Ethan, we have the game of our lives tonight, and I don’t know if I can do it. I need you, man. I need to know we have each other’s backs.”
Ethan jerked his arm from J.R.’s grasp. A damn football game? That’s what he was worked up about? J.R.’s ego disgusted Ethan. “I’ll be at the game tonight. But only so I don’t have to answer to everyone why I missed the big game with the Huskies coach.” He glared at him. “But then I’m done. I won’t step foot on a football field again with you, J.R. We are not friends, got that?”
J.R. flinched as Ethan brushed past him. J.R. was no longer in charge. Ethan would fulfill his obligation tonight, and then he was done. He didn’t owe J.R. his future. He’d never even wanted football to be his path in life. And now, for the first time, he could really think about what he wanted, not what he, J.R., and Caleb wanted.
He pulled his hat down over his forehead and pushed open the door that led to the back parking lot where his car was parked. It was just after three, leaving him a couple of hours before he had to get ready for the game. His thoughts drifted back to Lila once again, as he cursed J.R. for getting in the way of him leaving a note for her. Maybe he had enough time to swing by her place. Would she answer the door for him?
“Ethan Young.”
Jesus, what now, he thought. He turned toward the voice, taking a stumbled step back. He knew a look of surprise was on his face; he only hoped it also didn’t show the fear.
“Chief Tourney,” he said to the man in the patrol car that slid up beside him.
“Ready for the big game tonight?” the chief asked. But Ethan could hear the lack of genuineness in his voice. The chief didn’t care about the football game. He looked agitated and tired, his normally smooth skin now covered in a short scruffy beard as though he’d neglected to shave.
Ethan swallowed hard before answering. “Yep.”
Rex popped the car into park, leaning one arm out the window, looking up at the tall football player. “I heard your voice on my machine the other day.”
Shit, Ethan thought. He knew he should have hung up.
“You sounded upset,” the chief continued. “Everything alright?”
Ethan nodded hesitantly. He couldn’t think of what to say. He could feel the weight in his legs like they were made of lead. What had Lila said to her dad? He was looking at him like he knew, like he didn’t trust him.
“You were looking to talk to Lila,” the chief said. “Sounded important.”
“I, uh…hadn’t seen her all week, and was just checking to see if she was alright.”
“I didn’t know you knew my daughter that well, Ethan,” the chief said with a sideways glance.
His words hung in the air as Ethan stood silent, watching him. He didn’t know how to respond. He was afraid if he tried to answer his voice would crack, giving him away.
“She’s been sick this week.” Rex stared at the boy long and hard, watching the way he squirmed under his scrutiny. He broke the stare long enough to reach for the item sitting in his passenger seat. He lifted the coat for Ethan to see. The one that he had found Lila in when she was passed out on the side of the street.
“This your jacket, Ethan?”
Ethan’s face paled. “No, sir.” It was the jacket Lila had been wearing that night. It was what she’d used to cover her body and her torn dress. The image of her cowering in the corner, using the jacket to protect herself, came rushing back to Ethan, along with the rise of bile to his throat. He was afraid he would be sick right there in the parking lot.
“Ahh, well, mind telling me whose jacket it is?” His voice was scary calm. Ethan knew that if he confessed that it was J.R.’s jacket, they were screwed. He saw it in the chief’s eye. He was suspicious of him. What had Lila said? Had she told her dad everything that had happened, and he was just here testing Ethan to see if he would confess? Would he arrest him right now if he gave anything away? Ethan’s palms began to sweat. He shoved them into his pockets to stop the tremors.
“I don’t know, sir.”
Rex turned his gaze forward. “Well, that’s unfortunate,” he said. “I was hoping to return it to its rightful owner.”
Ethan was silent as he watched the chief sit there, waiting for Ethan to slip. Slowly, Rex lifted his eyes back to him. “There will be no more phone calls to my daughter, do I make myself clear?”
Ethan nodded again, afraid of his own voice. He stood there, trying to hide his trembling as the chief held his cool, hard gaze.
“Good luck at the game tonight, Ethan.”
Ethan watched as the chief slowly drove away, his eyes on him in the rearview mirror. All he could think about was that he had to warn J.R. and Caleb. He turned back toward the school on the hunt for his teammates.
The fog drew in so
thick it was hard to see the players on the field. But Rex had his eyes glued to the boys in blue. Kate stood beside him, cheering loudly to his silence. He couldn’t tell her that something felt off, and he feared it had to do with her son.
The game was not in their favor. They were down by two points, something the Falcons scoreboard hadn’t seen in years. J.R. held the ball like it was made of fire, dropping it like a hot potato. When he did get it in the air, it was often off mark or dropped by Ethan Young.
There were boos coming from the crowd, from both sides. Rex looked up at one point to see the mayor, his eyes in full fury, say something sharply to the man sitting next to him, who was decked out in purple Huskies attire. Kate groaned as Caleb once again was called out for another penalty, this time for pulling a player down to the ground by his helmet.
“What’s going on with him tonight?” Kate shook her head in disappointment. “He’s unusually hostile. He’s going to get himself kicked off the field if he isn’t careful.” She took a drink of her soda and set it on the ground.
Caleb looked up to the stands, meeting the chief’s eye and holding his stare. When Caleb eventually looked away, Rex said, “Maybe they’re just nervous knowing the Huskies Coach is watching them.”
“You’re probably right,” Kate agreed, standing back up. She missed the exchange between Rex and her son. “He needs this, Rex. He needs something good to come out of this week. You know he called his dad and told him about the coach coming and Dave promised he would be here for the game.” She sighed. “But just like his asshole father always does, waits till the last minute and cancels. Leaving me to be the one to tell him. Caleb was so angry. It’s like he had all of this pent-up aggression. Rex, he actually punched a hole in his bedroom wall.”
Rex shifted his eyes to Kate. She looked shaken. “Really?”
She met his gaze. She could see the concern he had for her in his face. That was one of the things she loved about Rex. His soul was gentle. Even as a cop, he didn’t understand brutality. He was the complete opposite of Dave. “I’ve never been afraid of Caleb. I know he can be a little intense, even rough at times. But when he did that, Rex, you should have seen the look on his face. I got a little scared.”
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