Thirteen
Keane
Watching Lily with those seven men twisted my insides, torturing me, but I fought to keep my face calm and neutral. Hopefully, Princess Dahlia had done her job right and not let anyone murderous or crazy into the summer palace to woo Lily. Dahlia didn’t usually get her intelligence wrong, but I was glad I had all of them under surveillance—Lily was too important to leave anything to chance.
Suitor after suitor took her in their arms, each whirling her around the dancefloor, some with more grace than others. The men were peacocks in their finery, each carefully dressed to capture Lily’s eye and her heart, and for the first time I felt drab rather than honorable in my blue and white guard uniform.
None of the men were good enough. I didn’t care how wealthy or handsome they were. Lily deserved someone who truly knew her, who found her quirks lovable and unique. Not men who were simply marrying the next Queen of Talador. That idea turned my stomach.
I knew Lily. I’d been with her while she grieved her father, while the same crowds that chanted The King is dead also chanted long live The Queen. I’d watched the knowledge weigh on her shoulders, and I’d been there the entire time, supporting her, having her back. Even now I stood here, blending into the scenery as the music of string and wind instruments wound through the room, doing my job.
Those men weren’t good enough for Lily, but neither was I. My job was to guard Lily, not to love her. I wasn’t of noble blood, not like these men, who would always have the benefit of their title, regardless of whether they fell on hard times or behaved badly. She was destined to marry a man like that, even if she didn’t choose one of these suitors.
I sighed and gripped the hilt of my sword tighter. My path in life would never lead me to be with Lily, nor with someone like her. All the wishes in the world wouldn’t change that.
I shifted my stance, watching as Lily smiled in the arms of her final suitor. So far, she’d smiled at a man old enough to be her father and the same way at another who could barely hold her upright as they moved. It was the same smile she’d used on a young embarrassed boy, barely old enough to try liquor let alone hold it, and the same she’d used on a man who looked like he was more interested in one of the other men. One of the first men who’d danced with her was actually asleep in a chair on the other side of the room, his mouth wide open as he leaned against the wall, oblivious to whispers and stares directed his way.
Lily’s smile was slipping. It was becoming more of a grimace, although people who didn’t know her so well probably wouldn’t notice. Her feet were also becoming sore in those dainty slippers—she rubbed them more between dances and switched her weight from leg to leg.
I looked away from her. I needed to accept she would marry one of these men, the best contenders put forward by each of the kingdoms. I hadn’t made that list. It wasn’t any of my business.
At last, the music faded and the dance ended, giving everyone a short break. As the final note faded, the last man hurriedly released Lily and backed away as he fumbled in his pocket. Immediately I stepped forward, only stopping when he withdrew a white handkerchief, which he pressed to his nose to muffle a noisy sneeze. He’d done that repeatedly over the night.
She smiled, accepting his odd foible with grace, before turning toward the doors to the balcony. They stood open to allow cool air to enter the ballroom, but I had guards stationed just beneath the balcony to prevent unwanted guests joining us. I hadn’t been sure this much fuss was warranted on the first night of Lily’s stay, but Grimelda insisted she’d received strict instructions from Dahlia, and who was I to argue with the Queen of Secrets?
Lily looked around the room like she was searching for something, and when she found me, she smiled. She continued toward the doors, and I hurried to reach her, quickening my step until I found my usual position behind her.
The cool air outside brushed against my cheeks, and the noise from inside was immediately muted, even though the doors remained open. Only faint strains of musical notes drifted outside, and Lily heaved a huge sigh.
She brought her hand to her head and massaged her temple. “Do you think I’ve danced enough to make the people happy?”
“Which people?” I moved a little closer to her. I could barely see her in the shadows where she’d chosen to stand, out of view of anyone in the ballroom. The light pouring through the doors cut a golden path through the palace gardens and the long grasses swished their percussion into the night.
“I don’t know. All of them?” She shook her head as she gave a low laugh. “I’m tired, Keane.”
I moved even closer at her soft voice, trying to hear what she said before the breeze tore her words away. “I’m sure you can retire now. No one will chastise the future Queen of Talador for taking to her bed.”
“Thank you, but I meant I’m tired of everything. The attacks, the move to the summer palace when I should still be with my sisters, the carnival show that is my process for finding a husband…” She sighed. “What woman wants to actively interview suitors? No, forget suitors. They’re more like human sacrifices offered up by their kingdoms in hopes we might forge a political allegiance.”
I stood silently. If I knew Lily, she wasn’t finished talking, and she needed someone to listen. Though she was often quiet and serious around others—in fact, many around the castle called her cold—when we were alone, she often spoke freely.
“What if I choose the wrong one? I’ve spent my life studying for this role, and I still feel like I don’t know enough to make the right political decisions. Not with different relationships still so fraught.”
“You’ll always make the right decision, Lily,” I said, using her first name as she’d requested of me.
She reached out and clutched my arm. “I’m glad you’re here, Keane. I always feel safe with you by my side, and you’ve never been anything but supportive.”
My heart ached, and I smoothed my hand over my chest like it was a pain I could soothe. It hurt to be so close to Lily, to have her reach out to me, and to know I could only ever be her guard. Maybe I was crazy to keep doing it, to deliberately watch Lily every day and to know I could never be anything more. But I didn’t think I could stop. Her life and her happiness meant too much to me. I couldn’t walk away. Instead, I stood there and let her hold my arm, feeling her touch through my uniform jacket like a brand on my skin.
I rested my hand over hers, unable to stop myself. “I’ll always be here for you.”
Her face was pale as she turned it up toward me, and her blue eyes almost seemed to glow in the torchlight. Her red lips parted, and I couldn’t help but lean closer to her. She pressed upward just a little, until I could feel her soft breath against my mouth. I inhaled sharply, as my heart knocked against my ribs. Lily sighed a little, and I looked right into her eyes before she closed them almost in invitation. My head lowered, my mouth only inches away from meeting hers.
“Lily!” At Iris’s excited screech, we jumped apart, and heat flared up my cheeks. “You have to come back inside. This is so much fun, and everyone wants to dance with you.”
Lily sighed again, heavier this time, but her perfume still lingered in my nose and I could still feel the soft pressure of her hand against my arm as she’d stretched up to meet my lips. My cock twitched at the memory, and I shook my head against the inappropriate response from my body.
Lily turned to Iris, and her lips formed her usual pleasant smile. “Yes, I suppose it is time for me to return inside. I’ve cooled off sufficiently now, but perhaps only one more dance?”
“Only one?” Iris asked, then took Lily’s hand and dragged her back into the ballroom.
I followed Lily as usual, trailing behind the two princesses. As much as I regretted Iris’s interruption, it was for the best. I’d nearly kissed the future queen, my queen. She wasn’t just Lily to me, and I couldn’t lose sight of that.
Fourteen
Lily
I sat in my carriage, my hands fo
lded in my lap as I jolted up and down over the rough track to the lake. Grimelda had recommended ice skating on the frozen lake, but she didn’t seem to have taken into account the journey there.
Keane appeared at my window, his nose and cheeks red from the cold air. “I think we might have to stop the carriage here. The track is narrowing and becoming more impassable.”
I nodded and picked up the skates Grimelda said she’d found in the back of a closet. They were pristine, and it was far more likely Dahlia had sent them along in a bag, but I gave Grimelda the recognition and acknowledgement she surely deserved for taking care of the castle alone for so long. It was really the least I could do due to the speed at which she’d had to organize and be ready for our visit. Not to mention seven noblemen from across the kingdoms.
Three of whom I was meeting now. I sighed. Despite being heir to the throne for all of my life, I’d never expected to meet my husband through a series of group dates. Perhaps I’d been naïve. There was no reason I couldn’t end up happy with a political union. Rose had managed both.
But I wasn’t my sister. I didn’t have her bravery or her defiance. That had been bred out of me in favor of diplomacy and regal aloofness.
Keane offered his hand to help me from the carriage, and I took it out of habit. I’d come to depend on Keane. More than depend, if last night on the balcony was any indication. I’d nearly… I bit my lip. Nearly didn’t count, and I refused to think about it.
“Will you be okay to walk the rest of the way, Your Majesty?” Keane asked.
I looked up, surprised at his sudden formality, but he glanced at the coach driver and footman, both within earshot of our conversation. Formality was required. “Yes, thank you.”
He gave me a half bow then offered me his arm to take as I walked the uneven ground, stepping in and out of ruts made by carts that had passed this way before. After only a few steps, he took my skates from me so he could carry them, hanging them around his neck from the laces so he could still rest his free hand on his sword.
His chivalry and quiet care almost made my chest burst, and I heaved a quick sigh to chase the feeling away. Instead, I turned my thoughts to the three men I was about to spend the afternoon with. I cast my mind back to the dance, then shook my head and slipped a small piece of paper from my pocket.
“Do you label all the men in your life with their worst traits?” He nodded at my hand. “Sleepy and… Grumpy? But I don’t understand ‘Doc.’”
Heat flooded my face. “Oh. I’m cheating. I can’t seem to remember their names, but I do remember the nicknames I gave them when I met them last night. I’m just checking who’s who before I make a fool of myself and the throne by saying the wrong thing.”
“You could never make a fool of yourself. But I think seven new names and faces would be a challenge for anyone.”
I gripped harder to his arm, even though the terrain had become smoother. Really, he was the perfect gentleman in every way.
Skating took me back to being a girl, to before the weight of the entire kingdom rested on my shoulders. Keane circled me and my suitors in surly loops on land, as I spun my way across the ice. This was one of the few places I felt at home, with the brisk air on my skin and the frost all around me.
Grimelda was right. This was a fun way to spend the afternoon.
It was almost enough for me to forget this was a date with three strangers. On the ice with me were three men trying to court me, made difficult by the face that they weren’t very good at skating. Grumpy—Lord Theund of Mesner—hadn’t moved much on the ice, wobbling as he did, and staying close to the edge. Doc—Lord Danzin of Rodor—made more effort to skate, but kept falling on his behind with a loud “Oof!” every time. Only Sleepy—Lord Covack of Korelan—glided gracefully, and at one point took my hand and led me in a short dance on the ice, before covering his mouth with a hasty yawn.
I decided we weren’t going to make much progress like this. “Let’s take a break to rest, shall we?”
The men looked relieved at this suggestion. As we made our way from the ice, Lord Theund said, “Your Majesty, I sent my man for some hot cocoa. May I interest you in some?” His voice was gruff, growling out from somewhere inside his beard, reminding me why I’d nicknamed him Grumpy.
I nodded. “That sounds lovely, thank you. It’s very cold now that I’ve stopped moving.”
“Too cold,” he muttered.
I actually didn’t feel cold at all, but he came from Mesner, a warmer kingdom on the coast. That meant he was also a warrior, trained to fight from a young age. At least I’d be safe with him by my side. My stomach clenched at the thought. I wanted more than safety from my life.
“Mesner is very warm, isn’t it?” I said, trying to make conversation.
“Yes,” he replied gruffly.
I tried again. “Is this the first time you’ve experienced snow?”
“Yes.”
That explained his awkwardness on the ice, and why he’d volunteered to accompany me for our conversation first. He clearly wasn’t enjoying this outdoor excursion. Keane shifted his position behind me, as quiet as Theund and I were. I glanced at him and noticed his arms were crossed and he was glowering at my suitor, even though nothing damning had been said. Was Keane going to scowl during every one of these chats? Probably.
I sipped my cocoa in silence, but Theund didn’t speak again. Eventually, Sleepy—Lord Covack—approached us, and I almost spilled the remains of my drink by standing so fast to greet him. He bowed as he approached then covered his mouth as he yawned before he spoke.
“Your Majesty, may I request an audience? I’ve found a bench nearby and sent my man for a warm blanket for you.”
“Thank you.” I turned to Lord Theund. “I hope we will get the opportunity to talk again soon.”
Covack offered me his arm and I took it, although I couldn’t help but compare the feel of it to Keane’s. He had an air of disinterest even present in the level of physical support he chose to give. He led me to a bench and, as usual, Keane positioned himself behind me, ever watchful, always scowling. Maybe I should have nicknamed him Grumpy.
Covack tossed a blanket in my direction before he covered himself from chin to toe. He closed his eyes. “It’s very cold here,” he said. “The cold makes me really quite tired.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I answered, wondering if there was anything that didn’t make the man tired. He’d dozed off numerous times at the ball, but I’d just assumed he hadn’t recovered from his journey from Korelan. Now I wondered if he had some sort of condition. “Could you use some magic to warm yourself up?”
“I could, but truth be told, I’m not very good at magic,” he said.
I almost replied that I wasn’t either, but pressed my lips together tightly instead. He was from Korelan, where nearly everyone was a wizard, so he wouldn’t understand our ban on magic here.
It quickly became apparent I didn’t need to say anything else, as gentle snores puffed small clouds of water vapor from his mouth. I sighed and glanced at Keane who seemed to refuse to meet my gaze, even as a smirk twitched at the corners of his lips.
Luckily, Lord Danzin, who I’d called Doc in my notes, approached up the gentle slope from the frozen lake. “Your Majesty,” he whispered, “is this a good time to steal you away?”
I nodded, grateful for the interruption, even if it wasn’t entirely in the spirit of the afternoon. “I think Lord Covack can sleep just as well without me at his side.”
Danzin smiled a little and nudged his glasses back up his nose. “I thought I might walk into the forest a little.”
Keane’s uniform rustled, and I knew even without looking that he’d reached for the hilt of his sword.
“I read that Talador grows some fascinating wild herbs, similar to those of Rodor, but different enough that their uses could be many times more varied.” Danzin’s dark eyes shone, and his flushed cheeks seemed to be more from excitement about his subject than the temper
ature.
“Are you an herbologist?” It was perhaps the first question I’d asked all afternoon where I was genuinely curious about the answer.
“Oh yes, and potions.” He bent to examine some green leaves I could barely see poking through the snow. “Simply marvelous.”
The ground crunched under Keane’s boots as he drew to a stop, also waiting on Danzin to finish examining common plants.
“Do you know what ailments this plant cures?” Danzin turned to me, curiosity shining out from behind his glasses.
I shook my head. “I’m afraid I haven’t had much time to study medicinal purposes for herbs.”
Danzin stood up quickly and brushed off his trousers. “Of course. How foolish of me. A future queen studies matters of history and politics, not plants and their uses. My apologies.”
“It’s time rather than lack of interest though,” I assured him, hurrying to catch up as he continued walking. He was the only man so far who had shown any promise, after all. “I should like to learn, if you wish to tell me.”
He traced his finger across another leaf. “In Rodor, I can successfully brew a tincture to cure a common cold, but it does make me wonder what differing properties this slightly different species might have. I have quite a hard time growing enough in Rodor.”
I gestured, indicating the woodland ground. “It’s very common here. Hated for its propensity to grow where it’s least wanted. I do know that, at least.”
“Hmm.” He drew his eyebrows down. “The temptation to rush back to the palace and get my microscope out of my trunk is nearly overwhelming.”
I swallowed my chuckle. If that was his foremost thought on a walk with the woman he was trying to court, when the woman was an actual queen, perhaps he wasn’t the man I should marry. Then again, maybe that was exactly why he should be that man. I didn’t want someone who only married me because I would be queen. Plus his interests seemed like they’d make good conversation, unlike the other two. I hadn’t had a decent conversation with either of them. So far, Lord Danzin was the best prospect for a husband and king. The other two were definitely out.
Kiss Of Snow (Royal Hearts Book 2) Page 7