CHAPTER X. THE DANDIACAL BODY.
First, touching Dandies, let us consider, with some scientificstrictness, what a Dandy specially is. A Dandy is a Clothes-wearingMan, a Man whose trade, office and existence consists in the wearingof Clothes. Every faculty of his soul, spirit, purse and person isheroically consecrated to this one object, the wearing of Clotheswisely and well: so that as others dress to live, he lives to dress.The all-importance of Clothes, which a German Professor, of unequalledlearning and acumen, writes his enormous Volume to demonstrate, hassprung up in the intellect of the Dandy without effort, like aninstinct of genius; he is inspired with Cloth, a Poet of Cloth. WhatTeufelsdrockh would call a "Divine Idea of Cloth" is born with him; andthis, like other such Ideas, will express itself outwardly, or wring hisheart asunder with unutterable throes.
But, like a generous, creative enthusiast, he fearlessly makes his Ideaan Action; shows himself in peculiar guise to mankind; walks forth, awitness and living Martyr to the eternal worth of Clothes. We called hima Poet: is not his body the (stuffed) parchment-skin whereon he writes,with cunning Huddersfield dyes, a Sonnet to his mistress' eyebrow? Say,rather, an Epos, and _Clotha Virumque cano_, to the whole world, inMacaronic verses, which he that runs may read. Nay, if you grant, whatseems to be admissible, that the Dandy has a Thinking-principle inhim, and some notions of Time and Space, is there not in thislife-devotedness to Cloth, in this so willing sacrifice of the Immortalto the Perishable, something (though in reverse order) of that blendingand identification of Eternity with Time, which, as we have seen,constitutes the Prophetic character?
And now, for all this perennial Martyrdom, and Poesy, and even Prophecy,what is it that the Dandy asks in return? Solely, we may say, that youwould recognize his existence; would admit him to be a living object; oreven failing this, a visual object, or thing that will reflect raysof light. Your silver or your gold (beyond what the niggardly Law hasalready secured him) he solicits not; simply the glance of your eyes.Understand his mystic significance, or altogether miss and misinterpretit; do but look at him, and he is contented. May we not well cry shameon an ungrateful world, which refuses even this poor boon; which willwaste its optic faculty on dried Crocodiles, and Siamese Twins; andover the domestic wonderful wonder of wonders, a live Dandy, glance withhasty indifference, and a scarcely concealed contempt! Him no Zoologistclasses among the Mammalia, no Anatomist dissects with care: when did wesee any injected Preparation of the Dandy in our Museums; any specimenof him preserved in spirits! Lord Herringbone may dress himself in asnuff-brown suit, with snuff-brown shirt and shoes: it skills not; theundiscerning public, occupied with grosser wants, passes by regardlesson the other side.
The age of Curiosity, like that of Chivalry, is indeed, properlyspeaking, gone. Yet perhaps only gone to sleep: for here arises theClothes-Philosophy to resuscitate, strangely enough, both the one andthe other! Should sound views of this Science come to prevail, theessential nature of the British Dandy, and the mystic significance thatlies in him, cannot always remain hidden under laughable and lamentablehallucination. The following long Extract from Professor Teufelsdrockhmay set the matter, if not in its true light, yet in the way towardssuch. It is to be regretted, however, that here, as so often elsewhere,the Professor's keen philosophic perspicacity is somewhat marred by acertain mixture of almost owlish purblindness, or else of some perverse,ineffectual, ironic tendency; our readers shall judge which:--
"In these distracted times," writes he, "when the Religious Principle,driven out of most Churches, either lies unseen in the hearts of goodmen, looking and longing and silently working there towards some newRevelation; or else wanders homeless over the world, like a disembodiedsoul seeking its terrestrial organization,--into how many strangeshapes, of Superstition and Fanaticism, does it not tentatively anderrantly cast itself! The higher Enthusiasm of man's nature is for thewhile without Exponent; yet does it continue indestructible, unweariedlyactive, and work blindly in the great chaotic deep: thus Sect afterSect, and Church after Church, bodies itself forth, and melts again intonew metamorphosis.
"Chiefly is this observable in England, which, as the wealthiest andworst-instructed of European nations, offers precisely the elements(of Heat, namely, and of Darkness), in which such moon-calves andmonstrosities are best generated. Among the newer Sects of that country,one of the most notable, and closely connected with our present subject,is that of the _Dandies_; concerning which, what little information Ihave been able to procure may fitly stand here.
"It is true, certain of the English Journalists, men generally withoutsense for the Religious Principle, or judgment for its manifestations,speak, in their brief enigmatic notices, as if this were perhapsrather a Secular Sect, and not a Religious one; nevertheless, to thepsychologic eye its devotional and even sacrificial characterplainly enough reveals itself. Whether it belongs to the class ofFetish-worships, or of Hero-worships or Polytheisms, or to what otherclass, may in the present state of our intelligence remain undecided(_schweben_). A certain touch of Manicheism, not indeed in the Gnosticshape, is discernible enough; also (for human Error walks in a cycle,and reappears at intervals) a not-inconsiderable resemblance to thatSuperstition of the Athos Monks, who by fasting from all nourishment,and looking intensely for a length of time into their own navels, cameto discern therein the true Apocalypse of Nature, and Heaven Unveiled.To my own surmise, it appears as if this Dandiacal Sect were but a newmodification, adapted to the new time, of that primeval Superstition,_Self-worship_; which Zerdusht, Quangfoutchee, Mahomet, and others,strove rather to subordinate and restrain than to eradicate; and whichonly in the purer forms of Religion has been altogether rejected.Wherefore, if any one chooses to name it revived Ahrimanism, or a newfigure of Demon-Worship, I have, so far as is yet visible, no objection.
"For the rest, these people, animated with the zeal of a new Sect,display courage and perseverance, and what force there is in man'snature, though never so enslaved. They affect great purity andseparatism; distinguish themselves by a particular costume (whereof somenotices were given in the earlier part of this Volume); likewise, sofar as possible, by a particular speech (apparently some broken_Lingua-franca_, or English-French); and, on the whole, strive tomaintain a true Nazarene deportment, and keep themselves unspotted fromthe world.
"They have their Temples, whereof the chief, as the Jewish Temple did,stands in their metropolis; and is named _Almack's_, a word ofuncertain etymology. They worship principally by night; and have theirHigh-priests and High-priestesses, who, however, do not continue forlife. The rites, by some supposed to be of the Menadic sort, or perhapswith an Eleusinian or Cabiric character, are held strictly secret.Nor are Sacred Books wanting to the Sect; these they call _FashionableNovels_: however, the Canon is not completed, and some are canonical andothers not.
"Of such Sacred Books I, not without expense, procured myself somesamples; and in hope of true insight, and with the zeal which beseems anInquirer into Clothes, set to interpret and study them. But wholly tono purpose: that tough faculty of reading, for which the world will notrefuse me credit, was here for the first time foiled and set at naught.In vain that I summoned my whole energies (_mich weidlich anstrengte_),and did my very utmost; at the end of some short space, I was uniformlyseized with not so much what I can call a drumming in my ears, as a kindof infinite, unsufferable, Jew's-harping and scrannel-piping there; towhich the frightfullest species of Magnetic Sleep soon supervened. Andif I strove to shake this away, and absolutely would not yield, therecame a hitherto unfelt sensation, as of _Delirium Tremens_, and amelting into total deliquium: till at last, by order of the Doctor,dreading ruin to my whole intellectual and bodily faculties, and ageneral breaking up of the constitution, I reluctantly but determinedlyforbore. Was there some miracle at work here; like those Fire-balls,and supernal and infernal prodigies, which, in the case of the JewishMysteries, have also more than once scared back the Alien? Be this asit may, such failure on my part, after best efforts, must excuse
theimperfection of this sketch; altogether incomplete, yet the completest Icould give of a Sect too singular to be omitted.
"Loving my own life and senses as I do, no power shall induce me, as aprivate individual, to open another _Fashionable Novel_. But luckily,in this dilemma, comes a hand from the clouds; whereby if not victory,deliverance is held out to me. Round one of those Book-packages, whichthe _Stillschweigen'sche Buchhandlung_ is in the habit of importingfrom England, come, as is usual, various waste printed-sheets(_Maculatur-blatter_), by way of interior wrappage: into these theClothes-Philosopher, with a certain Mahometan reverence even forwaste-paper, where curious knowledge will sometimes hover, disdains notto cast his eye. Readers may judge of his astonishment when on sucha defaced stray-sheet, probably the outcast fraction of some EnglishPeriodical, such as they name _Magazine_, appears something like aDissertation on this very subject of _Fashionable Novels_! It sets out,indeed, chiefly from a Secular point of view; directing itself, notwithout asperity, against some to me unknown individual named _Pelham_,who seems to be a Mystagogue, and leading Teacher and Preacher of theSect; so that, what indeed otherwise was not to be expected in such afugitive fragmentary sheet, the true secret, the Religious physiognomyand physiology of the Dandiacal Body, is nowise laid fully open there.Nevertheless, scattered lights do from time to time sparkle out, wherebyI have endeavored to profit. Nay, in one passage selected from theProphecies, or Mythic Theogonies, or whatever they are (for the styleseems very mixed) of this Mystagogue, I find what appears to be aConfession of Faith, or Whole Duty of Man, according to the tenets ofthat Sect. Which Confession or Whole Duty, therefore, as proceedingfrom a source so authentic, I shall here arrange under Seven distinctArticles, and in very abridged shape lay before the German world;therewith taking leave of this matter. Observe also, that to avoidpossibility of error, I, as far as may be, quote literally from theOriginal:--
ARTICLES OF FAITH.
'1. Coats should have nothing of the triangle about them; at the sametime, wrinkles behind should be carefully avoided.
'2. The collar is a very important point: it should be low behind, andslightly rolled.
'3. No license of fashion can allow a man of delicate taste to adopt theposterial luxuriance of a Hottentot.
'4. There is safety in a swallow-tail.
'5. The good sense of a gentleman is nowhere more finely developed thanin his rings.
'6. It is permitted to mankind, under certain restrictions, to wearwhite waistcoats.
'7. The trousers must be exceedingly tight across the hips.'
"All which Propositions I, for the present, content myself with modestlybut peremptorily and irrevocably denying.
"In strange contrast with this Dandiacal Body stands another BritishSect, originally, as I understand, of Ireland, where its chief seatstill is; but known also in the main Island, and indeed everywhererapidly spreading. As this Sect has hitherto emitted no Canonical Books,it remains to me in the same state of obscurity as the Dandiacal, whichhas published Books that the unassisted human faculties are inadequateto read. The members appear to be designated by a considerable diversityof names, according to their various places of establishment: in Englandthey are generally called the _Drudge_ Sect; also, unphilosophicallyenough, the _White Negroes_; and, chiefly in scorn by those of othercommunions, the _Ragged-Beggar_ Sect. In Scotland, again, I find thementitled _Hallanshakers_, or the _Stook of Duds_ Sect; any individualcommunicant is named _Stook of Duds_ (that is, Shock of Rags), inallusion, doubtless, to their professional Costume. While in Ireland,which, as mentioned, is their grand parent hive, they go by a perplexingmultiplicity of designations, such as _Bogtrotters, Redshanks,Ribbonmen, Cottiers, Peep-of-Day Boys, Babes of the Wood, Rockites,Poor-Slaves_: which last, however, seems to be the primary and genericname; whereto, probably enough, the others are only subsidiary species,or slight varieties; or, at most, propagated offsets from the parentstem, whose minute subdivisions, and shades of difference, it werehere loss of time to dwell on. Enough for us to understand, what seemsindubitable, that the original Sect is that of the _Poor-Slaves_;whose doctrines, practices, and fundamental characteristics pervade andanimate the whole Body, howsoever denominated or outwardly diversified.
"The precise speculative tenets of this Brotherhood: how the Universe,and Man, and Man's Life, picture themselves to the mind of an IrishPoor-Slave; with what feelings and opinions he looks forward on theFuture, round on the Present, back on the Past, it were extremelydifficult to specify. Something Monastic there appears to be in theirConstitution: we find them bound by the two Monastic Vows, of Povertyand Obedience; which vows, especially the former, it is said, theyobserve with great strictness; nay, as I have understood it, they arepledged, and be it by any solemn Nazarene ordination or not, irrevocablyconsecrated thereto, even _before_ birth. That the third MonasticVow, of Chastity, is rigidly enforced among them, I find no ground toconjecture.
"Furthermore, they appear to imitate the Dandiacal Sect in their grandprinciple of wearing a peculiar Costume. Of which Irish Poor-SlaveCostume no description will indeed be found in the present Volume; forthis reason, that by the imperfect organ of Language it did not seemdescribable. Their raiment consists of innumerable skirts, lappetsand irregular wings, of all cloths and of all colors; through thelabyrinthic intricacies of which their bodies are introduced by someunknown process. It is fastened together by a multiplex combination ofbuttons, thrums and skewers; to which frequently is added a girdle ofleather, of hempen or even of straw rope, round the loins. To strawrope, indeed, they seem partial, and often wear it by way of sandals.In head-dress they affect a certain freedom: hats with partial brim,without crown, or with only a loose, hinged, or valve crown; in theformer case, they sometimes invert the hat, and wear it brim uppermost,like a university-cap, with what view is unknown.
"The name Poor-Slaves seems to indicate a Slavonic, Polish, or Russianorigin: not so, however, the interior essence and spirit of theirSuperstition, which rather displays a Teutonic or Druidical character.One might fancy them worshippers of Hertha, or the Earth: for they digand affectionately work continually in her bosom; or else, shut up inprivate Oratories, meditate and manipulate the substances derived fromher; seldom looking up towards the Heavenly Luminaries, and then withcomparative indifference. Like the Druids, on the other hand, they livein dark dwellings; often even breaking their glass windows, where theyfind such, and stuffing them up with pieces of raiment, or otheropaque substances, till the fit obscurity is restored. Again, like allfollowers of Nature-Worship, they are liable to out-breakings of anenthusiasm rising to ferocity; and burn men, if not in wicker idols, yetin sod cottages.
"In respect of diet, they have also their observances. All Poor-Slavesare Rhizophagous (or Root-eaters); a few are Ichthyophagous, and useSalted Herrings: other animal food they abstain from; except indeed,with perhaps some strange inverted fragment of a Brahminical feeling,such animals as die a natural death. Their universal sustenance is theroot named Potato, cooked by fire alone; and generally without condimentor relish of any kind, save an unknown condiment named _Point_, intothe meaning of which I have vainly inquired; the victual_Potatoes-and-Point_ not appearing, at least not with specific accuracyof description, in any European Cookery-Book whatever. For drink, theyuse, with an almost epigrammatic counterpoise of taste, Milk, whichis the mildest of liquors, and _Potheen_, which is the fiercest. Thislatter I have tasted, as well as the English _Blue-Ruin_, and the Scotch_Whiskey_, analogous fluids used by the Sect in those countries:it evidently contains some form of alcohol, in the highest state ofconcentration, though disguised with acrid oils; and is, on the whole,the most pungent substance known to me,--indeed, a perfect liquidfire. In all their Religious Solemnities, Potheen is said to be anindispensable requisite, and largely consumed.
"An Irish Traveller, of perhaps common veracity, who presents himselfunder the to me unmeaning title of _The late John Bernard_, offersthe following sketch of a domestic establishment, the inmates whereo
f,though such is not stated expressly, appear to have been of that Faith.Thereby shall my German readers now behold an Irish Poor-Slave, as itwere with their own eyes; and even see him at meat. Moreover, in theso precious waste-paper sheet above mentioned, I have found somecorresponding picture of a Dandiacal Household, painted by that sameDandiacal Mystagogue, or Theogonist: this also, by way of counterpartand contrast, the world shall look into.
"First, therefore, of the Poor-Slave, who appears likewise to have beena species of Innkeeper. I quote from the original:
POOR-SLAVE HOUSEHOLD.
"'The furniture of this Caravansera consisted of a large iron Pot, twooaken Tables, two Benches, two Chairs, and a Potheen Noggin. There wasa Loft above (attainable by a ladder), upon which the inmates slept; andthe space below was divided by a hurdle into two Apartments; the one fortheir cow and pig, the other for themselves and guests. On entering thehouse we discovered the family, eleven in number, at dinner: the fathersitting at the top, the mother at the bottom, the children on each side,of a large oaken Board, which was scooped out in the middle, like atrough, to receive the contents of their Pot of Potatoes. Little holeswere cut at equal distances to contain Salt; and a bowl of Milk stood onthe table: all the luxuries of meat and beer, bread, knives and disheswere dispensed with.' The Poor-Slave himself our Traveller found, as hesays, broad-backed, black-browed, of great personal strength, and mouthfrom ear to ear. His Wife was a sun-browned but well-featured woman; andhis young ones, bare and chubby, had the appetite of ravens. Of theirPhilosophical or Religious tenets or observances, no notice or hint.
"But now, secondly, of the Dandiacal Household; in which, truly, thatoften-mentioned Mystagogue and inspired Penman himself has his abode:--
DANDIACAL HOUSEHOLD.
"'A Dressing-room splendidly furnished; violet-colored curtains, chairsand ottomans of the same hue. Two full-length Mirrors are placed, one oneach side of a table, which supports the luxuries of the Toilet. SeveralBottles of Perfumes, arranged in a peculiar fashion, stand upon asmaller table of mother-of-pearl: opposite to these are placed theappurtenances of Lavation richly wrought in frosted silver. A Wardrobeof Buhl is on the left; the doors of which, being partly open, discovera profusion of Clothes; Shoes of a singularly small size monopolizethe lower shelves. Fronting the wardrobe a door ajar gives some slightglimpse of a Bath-room. Folding-doors in the background.--Enter theAuthor,' our Theogonist in person, 'obsequiously preceded by a FrenchValet, in white silk Jacket and cambric Apron.'
"Such are the two Sects which, at this moment, divide the more unsettledportion of the British People; and agitate that ever-vexed country. Tothe eye of the political Seer, their mutual relation, pregnant withthe elements of discord and hostility, is far from consoling. These twoprinciples of Dandiacal Self-worship or Demon-worship, and Poor-Slavishor Drudgical Earth-worship, or whatever that same Drudgism may be, doas yet indeed manifest themselves under distant and nowise considerableshapes: nevertheless, in their roots and subterranean ramifications,they extend through the entire structure of Society, and workunweariedly in the secret depths of English national Existence; strivingto separate and isolate it into two contradictory, uncommunicatingmasses.
"In numbers, and even individual strength, the Poor-Slaves or Drudges,it would seem, are hourly increasing. The Dandiacal, again, is by natureno proselytizing Sect; but it boasts of great hereditary resources, andis strong by union; whereas the Drudges, split into parties, have as yetno rallying-point; or at best only co-operate by means of partial secretaffiliations. If, indeed, there were to arise a _Communion of Drudges_,as there is already a Communion of Saints, what strangest effects wouldfollow therefrom! Dandyism as yet affects to look down on Drudgism: butperhaps the hour of trial, when it will be practically seen which oughtto look down, and which up, is not so distant.
"To me it seems probable that the two Sects will one day part Englandbetween them; each recruiting itself from the intermediate ranks, tillthere be none left to enlist on either side. Those Dandiacal Manicheans,with the host of Dandyizing Christians, will form one body: the Drudges,gathering round them whosoever is Drudgical, be he Christian or InfidelPagan; sweeping up likewise all manner of Utilitarians, Radicals,refractory Pot-wallopers, and so forth, into their general mass, willform another. I could liken Dandyism and Drudgism to two bottomlessboiling Whirlpools that had broken out on opposite quarters of the firmland: as yet they appear only disquieted, foolishly bubbling wells,which man's art might cover in; yet mark them, their diameter is dailywidening: they are hollow Cones that boil up from the infinite Deep,over which your firm land is but a thin crust or rind! Thus daily isthe intermediate land crumbling in, daily the empire of the twoBuchan-Bullers extending; till now there is but a foot-plank, a merefilm of Land between them; this too is washed away: and then--we havethe true Hell of Waters, and Noah's Deluge is out-deluged!
"Or better, I might call them two boundless, and indeed unexampledElectric Machines (turned by the 'Machinery of Society'), with batteriesof opposite quality; Drudgism the Negative, Dandyism the Positive; oneattracts hourly towards it and appropriates all the Positive Electricityof the nation (namely, the Money thereof); the other is equally busywith the Negative (that is to say the Hunger), which is equally potent.Hitherto you see only partial transient sparkles and sputters: but waita little, till the entire nation is in an electric state: till yourwhole vital Electricity, no longer healthfully Neutral, is cut into twoisolated portions of Positive and Negative (of Money and of Hunger);and stands there bottled up in two World-Batteries! The stirring of achild's finger brings the two together; and then--What then? The Earthis but shivered into impalpable smoke by that Doom's thunder-peal; theSun misses one of his Planets in Space, and thenceforth there are noeclipses of the Moon.--Or better still, I might liken"--
Oh, enough, enough of likenings and similitudes; in excess of which,truly, it is hard to say whether Teufelsdrockh or ourselves sin themore.
We have often blamed him for a habit of wire-drawing and over-refining;from of old we have been familiar with his tendency to Mysticism andReligiosity, whereby in everything he was still scenting out Religion:but never perhaps did these amaurosis-suffusions so cloud and distorthis otherwise most piercing vision, as in this of the _Dandiacal Body_!Or was there something of intended satire; is the Professor and Seernot quite the blinkard he affects to be? Of an ordinary mortal we shouldhave decisively answered in the affirmative; but with a Teufelsdrockhthere ever hovers some shade of doubt. In the mean while, if satire wereactually intended, the case is little better. There are not wanting menwho will answer: Does your Professor take us for simpletons? His ironyhas overshot itself; we see through it, and perhaps through him.
Sartor Resartus: The Life and Opinions of Herr Teufelsdröckh Page 30