She said it more to alleviate Lori’s fears than anything else. Serena had no doubts about Tristen. She could list dozens of reasons why he was the right one for her, but it all boiled down to how she felt, and how her bear felt, towards him. When she was with him, she was calm. Even when they argued about matters of security, she never felt riled when she was with him. He didn’t treat her like a kid, nor did he treat her like a fail-proof matriarch. He respected her and that was most important.
Lori sat down. “Well… first off if he tries to change you. If you can’t share certain things about yourself because of how he’ll react. If he refuses to participate in things you like, if he always insists on doing what he wants while ignoring what you want. If he puts you down, in public or private. And jealousy. Jealousy is huge. So is trust.”
Serena took her hands and smiled gently. “Thank you. I’ve never been afraid to tell him what I think. We share household tasks, and when we have downtime we talk about what to do and both agree on it. We don’t feel like we have to spend every second together; he understands that I need time alone to recharge. When we have disagreements, we talk it out. I love him.”
“Love?” Lori’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“Oh.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. She’d been working up to the right moment to tell Tristen. Not because she was afraid or nervous, but because she wanted it to be a perfect moment between them. A blush rose up in her cheeks, but she nodded. “I am. I’ve loved him for quite a while. It took me a little while to recognize it as love, but I do love him, Lori. He… He doesn’t ask me to change but just being with him makes me want to be the best version of Serena Boone there is. When I doubt myself, I know I can go to him and he’ll be there to support me. He doesn’t try to fix my problems, just helps me to see how to fix them and then gives me whatever help I need after that.”
Lori nodded seriously. “Okay. And have you told him that you love him?”
Serena shook her head.
“Why not?”
“I want it to be special. I haven’t had a moment where it felt like the right time to say it.”
Lori pulled up a chair and sat next to her. The troubled look that had been on her face was gone, smoothed out into a gentle smile. “There is no right time for that, Serena. The first time you say I love you to someone is a special moment whether it’s over a candlelit dinner or sitting on a toilet. The thing about the things we don’t say, there is always the possibility we might not be able to say them.”
Serena shivered.
“I’m not saying that you should rush things because you’re afraid you might die,” Lori added quickly. “What I mean is that when you love someone, you shouldn’t wait until some epic moment to say it.”
“So are you saying you approve of him?”
Lori paused for a moment, her face thoughtful. “I… I think so. I just keep thinking about when I was your age in relationships with men twice my age. They were selfish and if I had listened to my sister about them, I would have saved myself a lot of pain. But I don’t get a bad sense around Tristen. Clifford thinks that you’re both good. He’s not like the men I used to date.”
Serena laughed softly. “And here I thought that Uncle Clifford was going to be the one with the worst reaction.”
“Well, there is that knee-jerk reaction to the age difference. But I think you’re good. I think he’s good, too. Tristen, I mean. But,” Lori’s expression became very serious, “if he ever hurts you, just come to me. I know where to hide the body where nobody will find it.”
Serena laughed, but Lori didn’t.
“I’m not joking. He hurts you, I kill him.”
Serena rolled her eyes there. “That’s not going to make me want to tell you anything unless I want you to kill him.”
Lori frowned. “Good point… Well, whatever. I’m ride or die with you on this, Serena. If he ever hurts you, I will make him pay. Or I will just get you away from him and protect you,” she added quickly. “Whatever feels better for you.”
“Thank you. But it won’t be necessary.”
There was a knock on the door, and Lori went to answer it while Serena slipped her feet into the shoes she’d chosen for this. She had wanted to go with a pair of heels, because being short sucked, but in the end, she decided not to risk it. If there was an attack, which was a possibility, she didn’t want to end up trying to run on spikes. While Lori would probably be able to do so, Serena just didn’t have the practice.
It was Tristen at the door, and Serena quickly pulled him into the room and threw her arms around him. She kissed him hard. Tristen chuckled into her mouth and pulled back. His eyes sparkled as he shook his head.
“Insatiable little minx.” He laughed.
“Is everything ready?” Serena asked him.
Lori had slipped out when they started to kiss, but Tristen glanced at the door anyway. “Serena, there is something we need to talk about.”
His seriousness made her straighten up a little.
“We haven’t heard much from the Sawyer group since we made the last raid, but this would be the prime time for an attack. Especially considering all the politics of this exchange. I know that it’s important, I just… Could I possibly convince you to hold it somewhere more private, or postpone it?”
Serena gave him a hard look. “You already know the answer to that. I’m not going to back down. Not from the Sawyer group, not from Milly Terrance, not from anything. This is what I was born for and I am going to make sure that I do my duty.”
“I know.” He kissed her, long and deep. Heat swirled in her core as she stood on her tip-toes and pressed herself against him. His hand grasped her ass and she could feel that he was fighting the same desire she was. When he pulled back, he smiled at her. “That’s what I love about you.”
Serena’s eyes widened. Her breath caught in her throat and her fingers curled into Tristen’s shirt.
“I’ll be by your side the whole time, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Serena hardly heard his promises. Her mind was too busy churning over what he had said. Love. He loved her. It wasn’t exactly what he had said, but close enough. She hadn’t been expecting the sweep of warmth and giddiness. After all, they had already agreed that they were mates. What was the big deal about the words when she already knew that they shared the feeling?
If it’s not a big deal, why haven’t you said it yet?
Tristen frowned at her. “Serena? Are you okay? You’re not having—”
“I love you, too,” she blurted, then bit her lip. She blushed a deep tomato red, watching him for his reaction.
Tristen’s eyes widened briefly. Then a smile blossomed over his face, so wide that it must have hurt. His arms wrapped around her tight and he pulled her close against himself. “You do, do you? I don’t recall saying I love you.”
“You said you loved my determination. And that’s me so that means you love me.”
“Can’t argue with that.” He brushed his mouth against hers. “You’re quite right. I do love you.”
“Good.” She wrapped her fingers into the hairs on the back of his neck. “That means we are one-hundred percent true mates and you aren’t allowed to doubt our relationship anymore. Got it?”
Tristen let out a laugh that shook them both. “You’re right. We are mates and I am not going to doubt it anymore. Mates don’t always follow logic, after all. Besides that, I’m pretty sure that Lori has a place to bury my body if I do something wrong when it comes to you.”
Serena giggled at that. “You heard her say that?”
“Heard her say what?”
“Never mind.” She kissed him again before stepping back. “What’s important here is that you and I are on the same page. And that’s that, then.”
Tristen brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Ready to become matriarch?”
“I think Lori wanted to do something more with my hair. But other than that, yeah. I am.�
�� Serena smiled. And she was. She had never been more ready for anything in her life.
Chapter Fourteen
The ceremony took place near a grove where all official business was conducted. It even served as a space for couples newly married by Shifter law to consummate their relationship and become truly mated in the eyes of the clan. It wasn’t used very often these days. While it was small and sheltered, there was something to be said for the privacy of one’s own home.
If this was taking place in the grove, he wouldn’t have been so on edge. But it wasn’t. This was happening outside the grove, with hundreds of people in attendance. The whole clan was invited to attend, as were the non-shifters who lived in the area. Serena wanted to peel away what was seen as mysterious about the bears.
But with so many people in attendance, every single person he saw was a potential threat. Who knew if they were a shifter, a non-shifter genuinely interested in learning more, or part of the Sawyer group? Tristan had to resist the urge to be up there at her side. Her protector-mate was meant to walk with her in the ceremony, but since they weren’t announcing their relationship until after all was said and done, he had to merely stay with her family at one side, his gaze running over the crowd.
The former matriarch, still thin from her recovery, stood at one side of the grove. There were three individuals that stood between her and Serena. Serena looked beautiful and strong in her ceremonial robes, a deep blue color with embroidery on the thin fabric showing images of how shifters came to be.
Serena stepped toward the first person. It was Marcus Haught. He was dressed as a warrior, with a long sword in his hands.
“Do you swear to dedicate your blood to protecting this clan?”
“I do.” Serena’s voice carried strongly and Tristen broke from his watch to glance at her.
Her back was straight as she took the sword and cut herself across the palm. She smeared the blood on the blade. Marcus bowed and stepped back. Serena continued, and the next person stepped into her path. It was a bear Tristen didn’t know, holding a string of pearls in one hand and a barbed wire necklace in the other.
“Do you swear to set aside your own wants and needs, and sacrifice your comforts for the sake of this clan?”
“I do.”
The barbed wire was wrapped around her neck. In the past, those were the only two vows that a new matriarch must make. Serena, however, had added another. As she continued, Marcus’ little girl, Luci, stepped into Serena’s path. A pregnant woman held one of Lori and Clifford’s twins as they faced Serena.
Luci opened her mouth, and a look of panic crossed her face. “What am I supposed to say?”
The crowd tittered to each other. The pregnant woman leaned over to whisper into Luci’s ear. She listened intently and nodded. Her face was extremely serious as she straightened her slim shoulders.
“DO YOU PROMISE TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE FOR THE COMING GENERATION?” she shouted at the top of her lungs.
The laughter increased, and Tristen had to smile himself. Clearly, she had been told to make sure that everybody could hear her. Luci didn’t seem to notice, still standing tall and determined-looking.
“I do,” Serena replied.
The pregnant woman passed her the baby, which she held in one hand, careful to keep her away from the barbed wire while clutching the sword in her other hand. The two stepped back, and Serena took the last few steps to the matriarch. The old woman smiled at her.
“Do you accept the weight of this role?”
“I do.” Serena’s voice still didn’t shake.
The matriarch took the cloak off her own shoulders and put it around Serena’s. Tristen turned his gaze back to the crowd. Everybody remained in their seats, and he saw nothing alarming. Had the Sawyers decided not to attack the ceremony after all?
Serena turned to the crowd. The baby nestled into her and, despite his unease, Tristen couldn’t help but imagine what it would look like, one day, to have her cuddling their child in her arms. Both of them had agreed to wait a few years before trying for kids, but the sight was just so beautiful. Not enough to make him change his mind, but enough that the excitement of their future together grew even stronger.
A flash of light at the far end of the field caught his eye. Serena handed the baby, sword and barbed wire to another person, and Milly Terrance stepped up to the stage. Planned, like the rest of it.
“I do not believe that you are capable of doing as you have sworn,” Milly said. “The mantel is too heavy for your shoulders. Allow me to take it from you and ease yourself.”
Another flash of light. Tristen’s stomach dropped. Everything focused in on that one little glint, a sniper’s rifle. He threw himself forward, charging toward where the women were. Both of them turned toward him. Just as he reached them, he heard the whistle of a bullet. He dove in front of both women, spreading his body out as large as he could make it. A cold fire shot into his gut. For a split instant, everything faded away.
Then he was on the ground and people were screaming. Pain radiated from his stomach as he lay there, unable to breathe. He heard Serena screaming his name. Somewhere in his brain, he realized that she hadn’t been the target—Milly had been.
Darkness swirled around the edges of his vision. A baby was screaming. There was another shot; he heard it impact the ground somewhere. Then there were people charging in. Not from the crowd, but from the trees behind them. The Sawyer group must have taken out the guards… A chainsaw roared and he saw someone approaching with a knife.
Serena jumped between them. The man slashed at her and she dodged to one side. She ducked under the knife while striking out hard into the man’s stomach. He kicked at her and she grabbed his ankle and threw him off balance. Fine dark fur covered her skin; another man came at her and she punched him hard in the throat. Tristen growled.
Adrenaline surged through him. His bear roared. His primitive brain took over, ignoring pain. He surged to his feet and seized Serena around the waist. He whirled hard, picking her up as he did so. He all but threw her at Marcus, who hurriedly put himself between her and the attackers. Gunshots went off. Each impact made Tristen’s body jerk. More pain burst through him. He charged the nearest attacker, only to stumble and fall before he got there.
His bear roared. He tried to bring it forward but there was too much damage. Even if the pain felt distant… his whole body felt distant. His mind was drifting away from his body and he couldn’t make it move.
“No!” he heard Serena’s scream and tried to get to his feet, but his arms wouldn’t even push him up. “No, I can’t leave him.”
Leave me.
He could taste his own blood, sticky and strong on his tongue. He tried to swallow it down, but that made him cough. Darkness washed over his vision as pain exploded through his whole body. There were more gunshots going off around him. More screams. Bears roared. People screamed. He couldn’t hear Serena anymore. There was a grunt above him and he saw a swirl of long hair before everything went black.
***
His chest felt like it weighed a ton. His lungs couldn’t expand fully. Funny, though… he thought it’d hurt more—
Just as he thought it, he became aware of the throbbing in his chest and stomach. He groaned, refusing to open his eyes. Perhaps if he tried hard enough, he’d simply fall back into unconsciousness and the next time he woke, he’d be fully healed. There was movement beside him, though, and he thought of Serena. His eyes flew open and he jerked up.
A large bear with a broad face grasped him by the shoulders and held him down. “Easy there! You’re not supposed to be conscious yet. I’m going to give you some more—”
“No,” Tristen managed to growl out.
The bear’s face came into focus. Dr. Alava. He shook his head, holding Tristen firmly despite his struggles. “Listen, you took a lot of abuse. We had to operate for three hours to get all the bullets out. You need sleep to heal.”
Tristen heard the words and recogniz
ed them, but the meaning faded into the back of his mind. “Serena.”
“She’s fine. She’s here.”
Tristen managed a weak punch at Alava, who calmly pressed his hand back into the hospital bed. “Calm down. I’ll call her in but you have to stay calm.”
Tristen growled a warning. If he tried to hurt his mate, he’d kill him. He’d kill them all. But he made himself stay still… he knew that Alava wouldn’t let Serena in if he kept fighting. He forced himself to be calm. It was made more difficult when he smelled Serena’s honeyed scent. He tried to push himself up, but that proved too difficult. Her lips brushed his head and her voice whispered in his ear. Then everything faded away once more.
***
The next time he woke, his mind was much clearer. The pain and pressure in his lungs weren’t quite so bad. The first thought in his mind was Serena. He knew better than to start flailing this time, though, so he only lifted his head.
In the next second, her scent enveloped him. Her arms circled him and her hair fell into his face. He could feel her body tremble and he reached to embrace her. Something held his arm down. She pulled back and gazed into his face. There was such tenderness in her face that he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
“Did I worry you?” he croaked.
Serena rolled her eyes. “You took five bullets to the chest. One of them nearly went into your heart. Of course, I was worried. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Done… what? Protect you?” He found her hand and squeezed it. “That’s my job.”
Serena pulled a chair up next to him and shook her head. “I never felt so helpless as I did at that moment, when Marcus was hustling me away. I should have been there to help you. Instead, it was Milly Terrance that stopped them from—”
“Milly?” Tristen frowned a moment. “How many casualties?”
Serena looked away.
“How many?”
“Two,” she whispered. “Two of the security detail didn’t make it.”
Two. In an attack that size… it was a tragedy but it could have been much worse. Tristen swallowed hard. “Clifford and Lori?”
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