by Adele Abbott
“What happened?”
“Unbeknown to me, the little madam had taught herself the ‘invisible’ spell and used it to scare Jack. He saw a spoon floating across the kitchen, and thought we had a ghost in the house.”
Donna laughed. “Poor Jack.”
“I thought it was hilarious, but I couldn’t let Florence know that. I had to pretend to be annoyed and tell her off. Hey, Donna, would it be okay if I nipped out to the store? We’re out of spaghetti rings, Florence’s favourite.”
“Sure, it’ll be another half hour until they finish. You shoot off.”
I hurried out of the hall and across the village. As I was approaching the store, I spotted the vicar going inside. Which of the Stock sisters was he visiting, I wondered? I soon had my answer because he was standing at the counter, chatting to Marjorie.
I headed to the ‘S’ section, but after five minutes, I’d been unable to locate the spaghetti rings. I was about to go to the counter to ask for assistance when Cynthia walked into the shop. Oh boy! The sparks were going to fly now. I held back, waiting for the shouting to begin, but instead I heard the three of them chatting and laughing. Curiosity got the better of me, so I headed to the counter.
“Hi, Jill,” Marjorie said. “Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Actually, no. I’m after some spaghetti rings, but I couldn’t see them in the ‘S’ section.”
“You need the ‘R’ section. R for rings.”
“Right. I should have realised.”
“You know our cousin, the vicar, don’t you, Jill?”
The vicar turned around. “Jill and I have spoken a few times, haven’t we?”
“Err, yeah. I didn’t realise Marjorie and Cynthia were your cousins. I thought—err—that’s to say, Barbara said—err—” I stopped before I dug myself any deeper into the hole.
“Barbara?” The vicar gave me a puzzled look. “What did she say?”
“Not Barbara. The barber. He said—err—I should get some—err—cheese while I was here. I almost forgot.”
“The barber told you to buy cheese?” It was Marjorie’s turn to look confused.
“Yeah, he insists he cuts hair much better with a bit of cheddar to nibble on.”
Now all three of them looked bewildered, but I ignored their puzzled expressions, grabbed a lump of cheddar cheese, paid for my purchase and hightailed it out of there.
“Did you get them?” Donna asked when I got back to the village hall.
“Sorry?”
“The spaghetti rings, did you manage to get any?”
“I—err—no, I bought some cheese instead.”
***
Thankfully, dance class was over. After Florence and I had said our goodbyes to Donna and Wendy, we went home and had a light lunch.
“Mummy, is it time to learn the ‘propel’ spell?” Florence gobbled down the last of her sandwich.
“Yes, I’ll just go and get the spell book.”
“Where have you hidden it, Mummy?”
“That would be telling, wouldn’t it? You wait down here while I go and get it. And no sneaking up after me. If you do, I won’t teach you any more magic.”
“I’ll wait here, I promise.”
When I got to our bedroom, I quickly checked Florence hadn’t followed me, then took the spell book from its hiding place, under a pile of boxes in the bottom of the wardrobe. When I got back downstairs, Buddy was standing in front of his bowl, looking very sorry for himself.
“Florence, you’d better give Buddy some food before we start.”
“Can’t you give it to him, Mummy? His food smells.”
“No, I can’t. He’s your dog, so you have to feed him sometimes. I’ve opened the pouch for you.”
She gave a huge sigh, but then grabbed the pouch and a spoon, and put the food into his bowl.
Buddy clearly didn’t mind the smell because he began to wolf it down.
“Okay, darling, let’s get started.” We sat at the kitchen table, and I’d just found the page for the ‘propel’ spell when there was a knock at the door. “Wait there while I go and see who that is.” I went through to the hall and opened the door to find Grandma standing there.
“Grandma? What are you doing here?”
“That’s a nice greeting, I must say. How about: how lovely to see you Grandma? Or would you like a cup of tea, Grandma?”
“I’m really busy at the moment.”
“Teaching your beautiful daughter the ‘propel’ spell. Yes, I know.”
“How?”
“You should know by now, Jill, I am all seeing.”
Before I could stop her, she’d pushed past me into the kitchen.
“Great-Grandma!” Florence jumped off her chair and threw herself into Grandma’s arms.
“Hello, poppet, I haven’t seen you in ages. I’ve been so busy with my new hotel. How are you?”
“Okay. Mummy is going to teach me the ‘propel’ spell.”
“Is she really? In that case, I think I’ll stay and watch.”
“Grandma, could I have a quick word?” I gestured to the hallway.
“I’m just going to have a little talk with Mummy,” she said, and then followed me into the hall. “Yes, Jill, what is it?”
“You can’t be here. I promised Jack that you’d have nothing to do with teaching Florence magic.”
“And I won’t. I’m just here to observe and have a cup of tea. You won’t even know I’m here.”
Before I could object, she went back into the kitchen and put some water into the kettle. I walked up behind her and whispered, “Okay, but you can’t get involved.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll just watch. Would you like a cup of tea while I’m making one?”
“Yes, please.”
While Grandma made the tea, I re-joined Florence at the table.
“Okay, darling. You need to learn all the images for the spell.”
“I did that while you were talking to Great-Grandma. I think I know them all.”
“Take one more look, just to be sure. Then you can give it a try.”
Grandma handed me the tea, then took a seat at the opposite side of the table from us.
“Right, Mummy,” Florence said. “I know them now.”
“Okay, I’ll just get a spoon for you to try the spell on.” I went over to the cutlery drawer, took out a spoon, and placed it in front of her. “Right, hold out your hand, close your eyes and then cast the spell.”
“A-hem.” Grandma interrupted. “Haven’t you forgotten something?”
“Like what?” I was fuming.
“You didn’t tell her to focus.”
“She already knows that, don’t you, Florence?”
“Yes. Mummy says that’s the most important part.”
“Good.” Grandma smiled approvingly. “Off you go, then.”
Florence held out her hand and closed her eyes—her face was a picture of concentration. A few moments later, the spoon shuddered but it didn’t move.
She opened her eyes. “Why didn’t it work, Mummy?”
“You didn’t focus hard enough.” Grandma got in before I had the chance to respond. “Try again, but this time maximum focus.”
“Okay, Great-Grandma, I’ll try.”
This time, the spoon flew across the table and hit the wall.
“Yay! I did it!” Florence yelled, triumphantly.
“That’s very good, darling.” I gave her a kiss on the top of her head.
“Well done, young lady.” Grandma clapped. “You’re much better than your Mummy was when she was learning.”
“Am I really, Great-Grandma?”
“Oh yes. Your Mummy was hopeless at first.”
“I wouldn’t say I was hopeless,” I said, defensively. “It’s just that I didn’t get to learn magic when I was young like you, Florence.”
“Why not?”
“I’ve already told you that story. Mummy didn’t know she was a witch until she was grow
n up.”
“Can I cast the spell again?”
“Okay, darling.”
“Just a minute.” Grandma stood up, walked over to the drawer, and took out a handful of spoons, which she placed on the table in front of Florence. “Okay, Florence, try again and see if you can do it with all of these.”
I glared at Grandma, but she didn’t even notice.
Florence repeated the spell, and all of the spoons flew across the table and hit the wall.
“You’re a superstar witch.” Grandma clapped again. “You’re going to grow up to be even more powerful than your Mummy.”
“Isn’t it time you were getting back to the hotel, Grandma?” I started for the door.
“There’s no hurry and besides, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about related to the hotel.”
Florence jumped off the chair. “Mummy, can I go outside and play with Buddy now?”
“Yes, darling. Off you pop.”
“Wait, Florence,” Grandma called. “Come and give Great-Grandma a kiss first.”
Florence had always been a little wary of the wart on the end of Grandma’s nose, so as usual, she made a point of kissing her on the cheek.
“Bye, Great-Grandma.”
“Bye, and well done on the ‘propel’ spell.”
Once Florence was out of earshot in the garden, I turned on Grandma. “You were supposed to be just observing.”
“That’s all I did.”
“Rubbish. You stuck your oar in, as usual. I don’t need your help to teach my daughter magic.”
“Keep your wig on.”
“You said you wanted to talk about the hotel. I hope it’s to tell me that you’ve changed your mind about targeting your advertising at sups who’ve never been to the human world before.”
“Why would I change my mind?”
“Because they’re a liability. My friend, Donna, saw a vampire in the village, drinking synthetic blood.”
“I assume your friend is a sup?”
“Yes, so what?”
“If it had been a human who’d seen them, they’d have just assumed it was a raspberry smoothie. You’re overreacting.”
“And I saw some pixies pretending to be a man. They were walking down the street wearing an overcoat, and they were wobbling all over the place.”
“That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? Have you ever tried balancing nine people on your shoulders while walking around? It can’t be easy. How about you cut them some slack?”
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
“I’m here to offer your human a job.”
“His name is Jack and he already has a job.”
“Why does he stay at home all day, then?”
“Because he works from home.”
“Doing what, exactly?”
“I’ve told you this before. He runs a website for ten-pin bowling enthusiasts.”
“Seriously?” She laughed. “He’s never going to make any money doing that. He should come and work for me.”
“Doing what?”
“I need a bellboy.”
“A bellboy?” I laughed. “Jack’s not going to be your bellboy.”
“I pay minimum wage plus the tips will be very good. He looks healthy enough. He could carry a few suitcases around, couldn’t he?”
“Of course he could, but there’s no way Jack is going to work for you. Ever.”
“I’ll leave the position open for a few days. Get him to contact me if he’s interested.”
***
Jack arrived home just as I was beginning to prepare dinner.
“Did you have a nice day?” I asked.
“Superb. We played three matches and guess how many I won.”
“Judging by the stupid grin on your face, I’d say all three of them.”
“Correctamundo—a clean sweep. We had a nice lunch too.”
“I hope you’ve left plenty of room for dinner.”
“Of course. Where’s Florence?”
“In her bedroom.”
“How was dancing?”
“As thrilling as ever. Apparently, they’re going to be doing an exam soon. Did you get a note about it?”
“No, I would have told you. What kind of exam?”
“I don’t know, but according to Donna, it’s just an excuse for the dance school to make extra money.”
“How did your magic lesson go?”
“Okay, until Grandma showed up.”
“I thought we’d agreed that you were going to be the one to teach Florence magic.”
“It’s okay. Grandma didn’t take part in the lesson. She just watched. Oh, and she wanted to offer you a job.”
“Me? What kind of job?”
“She thinks you’d make a good bellboy.”
“That’s a joke, right?”
“Nope. Apparently, it’s minimum wage plus tips.”
“I trust you told her what she could do with her job?”
“Actually, I said I thought you’d be ideal for it. I reckon you’d look sexy in a bellboy’s uniform.”
Chapter 25
It was Sunday morning and Jack had somehow managed to persuade Florence to try muesli for the first time. He was getting milk out of the fridge when for some reason he seemed to freeze (no pun intended).
“Are you alright, Jack?” I said.
“I’m trying to work out why we’ve got so much cheese in here.”
“Oh, yeah, right. That was the barber’s fault.”
“Sorry? The barber?”
“Yeah. He told me to buy it.”
“I think you’ve been overworking, Jill. Maybe you ought to take a few days off?” He closed the fridge door, came over to the table and poured milk into his and Florence’s bowls.
I figured an explanation was called for, so I told him how I’d bumped into the vicar and the Stock sisters, and I’d discovered they were cousins.
“I still don’t see where the barber comes into it?”
“I almost let it slip that Barbara Babble had been gossiping about the three of them, and that she’d suggested they were romantically involved. But, with a bit of quick thinking on my part, I managed to cover my tracks by telling them that your barber had asked me to buy some cheese. Clever, eh?”
He shook his head. “That is without a shadow of a doubt the worst lie I’ve ever heard in my life. You can’t seriously believe they bought that nonsense, can you?”
“Why not?”
“Think about it. Why would anyone believe that my barber told you to buy some cheese? In what universe would that happen?”
“Now you put it like that, it does sound a little implausible, but I couldn’t let them know I’d been gossiping with Barbara Babble about them, could I?”
“It wouldn’t have been any worse than telling them my barber told you to buy cheese. They’ll think you’re a nutjob. Me too, probably.”
“Mummy,” Florence said. “I like moosy.”
“It’s muesli, darling, and you don’t have to say that just to please Daddy. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it.”
“I do like it.” She put another spoonful into her mouth. “It’s yummy.”
“And very healthy for you too.” Jack smirked. “Not like that horrible cereal Mummy is eating.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Chococandy Pops.”
I didn’t believe Florence really liked muesli. Jack must have bribed her to say that. Perhaps he’d promised to buy her a toy.
“Mummy, can I show Daddy what I can do with the ‘propel’ spell?”
“Yes, but not until we’ve all finished breakfast.”
While I was loading the dishwasher, Florence said to Jack, “Watch me, Daddy.”
“I’m watching, pumpkin.”
She closed her eyes, and moments later, her spoon flew across the table.
Unfortunately, so too did her knife, which missed Jack’s head by only a couple of inches.
“Florence!” I ye
lled.
“Sorry. I only meant the spoon to move.”
“That’s why you have to be really careful every time you cast a spell.”
“Sorry, Daddy,” Florence said.
“It’s okay, pumpkin. No harm done.”
“Can I go into the garden to play?”
“Of course you can.”
“Are you okay, Jack? You gone a little pale.”
“I thought I was a goner there for a minute.”
“Thank goodness it didn’t hit you. I haven’t renewed the life insurance yet.”
“You’re so funny.”
“I know. It comes naturally. By the way, have you thought any more about Grandma’s job offer?”
“I have, actually, and I think I might take her up on it.”
“What? You can’t do that.”
“I’m joking, Jill.”
“Right. Good.”
“Or am I?”
***
I knew very little about Trevor Hee. An online search had revealed next to nothing about him; the only articles I’d been able to find were all within the last couple of years, and they were all related to NOCA. Curiously, he appeared to have no social media presence whatsoever, so if I wanted to find out more about him, I was going to have to look elsewhere.
Although I could have thought of a million and one things I’d rather be doing on a Sunday, this was the ideal opportunity to search Trevor Hee’s apartment because he and Don had agreed to meet that very morning at Chuckle House to discuss the future of NOCA.
I magicked myself over to Trevor’s apartment, and rang the doorbell, just in case the meeting had been cancelled or someone else lived there with him. Fortunately, there was no response, so I checked to make sure no one was around, then I magicked myself inside.
I had no idea what I was looking for or where I might find it, so I started in the nearest room, which turned out to be the lounge. Trevor obviously favoured the minimalist approach: there was very little furniture, and no photographs or ornaments on display. Next, I checked the kitchen. Half of the cupboards and drawers were empty, and the others contained only food, pots and pans and cutlery.
There were two bedrooms: A small one, which was obviously being used for storage, and the master bedroom, which was dominated by a king-size bed. The built-in wardrobe was divided into two halves. The right-hand side contained Trevor’s everyday clothes: suits, jackets, trousers, that kind of thing. The left-hand side was reserved for his clown outfits, of which he had many. The drawers were full of jumpers, socks and underwear. The bottom of the wardrobe was full of shoe boxes, all of which contained only shoes.