by A Lonergan
Cancer. I blinked.
“You couldn’t have changed me after the cancer had taken over?”
Rafe shook his head. He placed his trembling hands over mine and more tears fell from his brown eyes. “There is only so much we can do with our venom. We can change others but only if the cancer is small, so small that it hasn’t started to affect the organs yet. Yours was barely there but rapidly growing. I could sense it when I touched you. If the cancer takes over the organs or even partially, and you were to change… A wolf wouldn’t choose you. You would be considered too weak to be a vessel.”
I didn’t know what to say. Cancer. The big C word. I could have died. I would have died if he hadn’t turned me. So what did this mean? What did this mean for my hatred toward him?
“You couldn’t tell me about it and risk me giving you permission to do it?” I knew my questions were ridiculous but I had to ask them all the same.
Rafe looked down at our hands. “Humans don’t take our existence very well. You would have wanted to go to the doctor or called me crazy. I had to do what I did to save you, even if you weren’t ready.”
“You could have changed me with your bite?”
Rafe swallowed hard. “Yes, but that would have meant that I would have claimed you. I would never force that on you, even if we are mates. I had to give you a chance to live. Even if it meant you hated me. Even if it meant we never spoke again or you went to another pack. Even if it meant you going on dates with other wolves and trying to get away from me. You hadn’t felt our mate bond snap into place yet and,” He stopped. “You still haven’t felt it, have you?”
I ran my tongue over my teeth before I shook my head. I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel. I didn’t know how I was supposed to know. How had Vivian known? She was a witch. Human.
Rafe sighed. “That’s okay, it can take a while before you feel completely connected to your wolf. You need to be in harmony with her.”
I thought we were doing pretty well. Nalia perked up in my mind. We are doing fantastic. Don’t worry about a thing.
“Why did you treat me the way you did after you changed me?”
He leaned back in the booth and tucked his hands behind his head. “Would you have preferred to have me as the villain in your story? Did you want me to be the good guy that just made a weird mistake? It was easier to play the villain. My wolf preferred it. He didn’t want me to play nice. He wanted me to hunt you and honestly, I liked it better that way because it meant I didn’t have to feel remorse over how much I knew you hated me.”
My head spun with all the new information. I couldn’t believe what he had told me. I pressed my palms into my eyes. “Yes, it was easier to hate you.”
“That’s what I thought,” he muttered softly. I almost missed what he said because his voice was so low. “This wasn’t the date I had imagined but I’m glad you asked. I’ve been meaning to get that off my chest for a while now. I didn’t know how to approach you with it.”
“Now what?” I felt defeated but at the same time, closure. I hadn’t realized just how much I had needed to hear that confession from him. How much I needed the truth.
“Now you let me prove to you just how sorry I am for the way I treated you. You allow me to redeem myself and hopefully, eventually, claim you. But first, I want to show you all the reasons why you should let me. I want to be worthy of your claim marks.”
“What if I’m not worthy of yours? Don’t I need to prove that to you?” Rafe’s lips twitched into a little smile.
“You proved that to me the day I ran into you. I see your kindness. I see how thoughtful and loving you are. There is nothing more you need to do.” He leaned forward and captured my lips with his own. Only, after a few seconds, my stomach grumbled again. He pulled away with a laugh and slid my food back in front of me.
Chapter 32
Jade
Rafe still slept on the couch downstairs, even though I had insisted he could sleep in the same room with me. I could keep my hands to myself. He had insisted that he could, indeed, not keep his hands to himself and would have to be an entire floor away from me in order to do so.
With the closure of his words, I felt myself relax for the first time in a while. He had been the villain in my story but when did he start to become the hero? It had happened before I knew the truth. He had become my friend and someone I enjoyed spending my time with. I was thankful that he hadn’t claimed me. I imagined that would have been more traumatic than anything else I had gone through.
When my eyes finally drifted closed, I didn’t dream. Nightmares ran rampant in my mind instead. I tossed and turned all over the bed until Damian stood over me once again. Except this wasn’t a nightmare, it was a memory. He held his knife up and watched me with a wicked look all over his face. The scene blurred in and out with my consciousness that night. The press of the blade on my stomach had me jerking up but my body wouldn’t listen to my brain’s commands. Would I live the rest of my life in this limbo of fear?
A scream tore from my throat as he dug the knife down my stomach. Something jerked me awake but I fought all the same. I didn’t bother with opening my eyes. I kicked and punched at the intruder in my bed.
“Shhhh,” Rafe’s scent wrapped around me. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
I blinked my eyes open in the darkness and sure enough, there he was pressed against my back. He rocked us back and forth slowly. “Please tell me it was just a nightmare, and he’s not back.”
My body shook ferociously as I untangled myself from my mate’s arms. I pulled my shirt up to reveal the silver scar on my stomach and my body relaxed slightly. A memory, nothing more. Rafe pulled me back to him and tucked my head under his chin. “Just a nightmare.”
He ran his hands down my hair and then waved at something on the other side of us. The door clicked closed and I took a deep breath to figure out what Guardian had accompanied him. Knox carefully tiptoed down the stairs and his scent disappeared quickly. I leaned my head back and finally allowed myself to fully relax against him.
“Do you want me to stay?” Rafe whispered into the dark. His voice was careful but hopeful. He wanted to be here for me.
“Please,” The word escaped me in a breathy sigh.
“I will be here for as long as you need me.” He brushed my wild hair away from my face before he planted a kiss on the top of my head.
That was how I fell asleep, wrapped in Rafe Crimson’s arms.
The next morning when the sun was blazing through the windows, I finally opened my eyes and stretched. The bed was empty beside me but it still smelled like my mate. My eyes closed with contentment before I remembered the conversation we had at dinner the night before. I kicked my legs over the side of the bed and marched to my suitcase. Lucas had been right when we were being held captive together. Rafe did have a good reason for changing me against my will. I just had to wait a little while for him to finally tell me. I yanked my clothes on as quickly as I could then my tennis shoes. I could faintly hear Knox pacing outside of the bedroom door.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep it up,” I called out. It took him two seconds after that to knock. “You can come in.”
My hair slid through my fingers easily as I braided it on either side of my face and ignored the makeup bag that had also been packed. His hair was also braided but not in two sections like mine. I beamed at him and pointed to my own hair. “Great minds think alike.”
He grinned back. “They certainly do! What’s on the agenda today?”
My cheeks inflated as I thought about the plans I had made just five minutes ago. “I need to see Tracey and Lucas then I probably need to check in with Rafe’s mom, Alice. I haven’t been the best employee lately.”
He waved his hand. “No one cares about work in a time like this.”
“Why are you tailing me today?” I asked as I skipped down the stairs. I could still smell Rafe in the home but it was starting to fade. It had been hour
s since he had left. I grabbed an apple off of the counter and a bottle of water from the fridge.
“I’m here to make sure that you process the information dump okay.” He shrugged then locked the door behind us. I finished off the apple quickly and took a few sips of water. I finally had my appetite back.
“You knew?” I asked around a mouthful of apple.
He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. The movement forced his shirt up his belly where I noticed several knives tucked into the waistband of his jeans. Always prepared. “He never told me you were his mate, though I assumed. Rafe isn’t one to do impulsive things. Changing you against your will was a huge flag to the entire pack.”
“So I’ve heard.” My little cottage came into view and I practically ran to the front door. I tried to open it but it was locked. I frowned then knocked on the door.
Lucas pulled it open with a smile. “How are you feeling?”
I tilted my hand from side to side. So so. “Why is the door locked?” I didn’t want to ask that question but it was my home. It also wasn’t very early in the morning either. Based on the food and stack of work on the table, Lucas had been up for a while.
Lucas peered over my shoulder at Knox. “To keep him out.”
A laugh bubbled from my lips. “Excuse me? Why?”
Lucas pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. “We keep catching his scent inside of the house.”
Knox leaned against the siding. “Sounds to me like you should have your sniffer checked.”
Lucas touched his nose. “There is nothing wrong with my sniffer. You’re just playing a weird game with Tracey.”
One of Knox’s eyebrows inched up his forehead. “Is that so? Why would I want to play any kind of game with her? She has made it quite obvious that she wants nothing to do with me.”
Lucas let out an exasperated sound. “You tell me. I can’t play ref between the two of you.”
A thought popped into my head. “Maybe a security system?”
Knox chuckled and all it reminded me of was the big bad wolf. “You are the fastest one here, so I’ve heard, and you think a security system is going to catch a wolf or witch in the act?” He was right. Rafe had managed to get past my parents’ security system plenty of times. If he was faster than Rafe then it would be a waste of money.
My lips parted but a scream from the inside of my home interrupted my words. Tracey threw the bedroom door open and marched into the hallway. I watched over Lucas’s shoulder as her chest heaved with exertion.
Knox had the audacity to look sheepish. “I should probably go.”
I reached out at the last second and grabbed his sleeve. He stopped in his tracks. His eyes grew big as he looked down at my hand on his arm. Maybe I was the fastest after all. His shock was enough to convince me in that moment. “What did you do, Knox?”
Tracey answered for him. “I thought it was a rumor that male wolfs hunted women they were interested in. I thought it was a joke.” It took her about three seconds to explode. “WHERE IS MY UNDERWEAR?”
The laugh Lucas had been holding in burst from his mouth and I slapped my hand over my own to keep myself out of trouble. Knox actually looked embarrassed. His cheeks were almost brighter than his hair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Tracey snarled and her fingers elongated into claws. “Your scent is all over my underwear drawer and all of my lingerie is missing!”
Lucas frowned. “What do you need lingerie for? Are you dating someone? Wait, why did you bring it with you? We are sharing a room!”
Tracey rolled her eyes and ignored her brother.
Knox showed his teeth in an attempt to smile. “I didn’t touch your lingerie.”
“But you touched my underwear drawer?” She cocked her head to the side. Why couldn’t I smell whether or not he was telling the truth? Tracey also couldn’t scent it in the air. Her eyes flicked to mine before she ran across the distance between them and pinned him against the wall. Her fingers wrapped around his neck and he grinned. He had a death wish. “Why can’t I smell the lie on you?”
Knox shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe it’s because I’m telling the truth?”
Tracey growled and slammed his head against the side of our house. Lucas and I took that as our cue to back into the house slowly. “You aren’t telling the truth because I can’t scent that either!”
“Maybe if you were a better witch, you would know.”
That was the last straw. She released his neck and stalked to her Jeep. She tossed the door open and didn’t look at any of us again as she backed out of her parking space. Knox rubbed his neck all while wearing a shit-eating grin on his face. I couldn’t believe him.
“A lock wasn’t going to keep me out anyway,” Knox ran his tongue over his teeth and I slammed the door in his face. If he had to tail me today, he could stay outside for all I cared. The last thing I wanted was to be in the middle of their… whatever it was. Lucas kicked his feet up on the table and grabbed a paper off of his high stack.
“What’s that?” I sat across from him and went to grab a sheet to inspect. He smacked my hand away. I cradled my wrist against my chest and mock pouted at him. “Why can’t I know?”
“You can know, but I would like to read it all first before I share information. This is from the witch’s archives. Duncan was able to get it for us.”
Excitement perked me up a bit. “Oh, that’s great! They let him in there even though he isn’t a witch?”
Lucas’s smile remained passive on his face. “Yeah, something like that.”
The excitement turned sour inside of me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, Duncan doesn’t like being told no.”
“So what is that?”
Lucas shrugged. “A few accounts from the night Damian’s mother died. They found her body in the snow. It looked like a suicide but they weren’t sure. She was apparently shacking up with a few of the coven elders. That was why they were constantly on the run. Her beauty was something all the witches coveted apparently.”
“What was her name?” I asked as I leaned forward.
Lucas rifled through the papers again as he searched for her name. “I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s on here. Maybe I missed it.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I would love to help you look but I think I need to go visit my parents.”
Lucas perked up at that then shoved his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a little trinket of a wolf. It wasn’t until it was in my hands that I realized it was a carving. “I weaved some of my magic into this carving. It’s for your parents to protect them. I know they want to go on another trip soon.”
They had been trying to talk me into going on a trip with them but I kept deflecting saying I had to work a lot since going on the girl’s trip with Tracey. After we got back they decided to take some time off from traveling. Apparently Dad, had some work he had to do at the office and my mother was enjoying being creative again. She bought a sewing machine and a few other things for herself to keep her hands busy while Dad worked. I had a feeling I would lose my bedroom soon to her crafts, which I didn’t mind at all. It just meant I would need to clear out all of my junk that I didn’t have room for in my new home.
“Tell your mother whatever you need to to make sure she keeps that on her at all times,” Lucas said before he leaned over the papers and got lost in the history there.
Knox was still waiting on the front porch when I closed the door softly behind me. “Where to?”
I rolled my eyes. “I need to visit my parents.”
“Oh, I would love to meet them.”
A growl rolled through me. I could imagine just how excited my mother would be for me to bring home another hot guy. I rolled my shoulders before I slid into the front seat of my car. I hardly drove anywhere these days, but pretending I was on a run again to visit them wouldn’t go unnoticed. I hadn’t been that active before my change. Thankfully, th
e road from the Pack Lands to my parent’s house was warded. Most of the town was Pack Lands and warded as well but going out to the grocery store or the library was too much of a risk. It was too far from the Manor and Granny. She could only provide so much cover in this big town.
“You must be on your best behavior,” I muttered as I started the car.
He saluted me. “Scouts honor.”
My brows wrinkled together. “Were you even a scout?”
He grinned. “Nope.”
Great.
Chapter 33
Jade
Annoyance was an understatement to the way I felt. My mother was indeed thrilled to have another hot body in her house. She didn’t say so but she threw me an overly interested look when we walked through the front door.
“I was just trying out a new recipe for some cookies! Would you like one?”
Knox stood up straight and internally I swore I was going to rip his heart out if he tried anything on my mom. “I would love to have two, if you don’t mind. Cookies are my favorite.” How he managed to make some kind of sexual innuendo about that was beyond me. My fist connected with his arm. He at least had it in him to scowl at me.
“Are you and Dad going on any trips any time soon?” The warm cookie practically melted in my mouth. I wanted to praise my mother for her culinary genius and possibly online tutorials. She was a goddess when it came to baking. I knew immediately that she and Vivian would be great friends.
Mom shrugged. “I’m not sure. They requested your father full-time again at the office.”
I blinked. “I thought he was retired.”
Mom picked up a cookie before she placed it back down. “There have been some issues that they need him back for. I don’t know, your father deals with many different clients. When they say jump, he jumps.”
Something like dread entered my body. “He has been busier a lot lately, hasn’t he?”
Knox watched me out of the corner of his eye. He could probably scent my anxiety in the air.