by N. M. Brown
He’d said space was what he needed, but with his previous work load he was never home anyway. He’d said he’d needed time after all that had happened, but they’d lost that child years ago and they’d never tried again.
As McQueen slipped his work tie over his head, the morning rays washing his eyes with sun, he asked himself again; why had he left?
The morning birds began to chirp as if they were sending him his answer and he had to admit he knew why. The last dirty secret of his past. He kept it too himself and from Anna too, because if he spoke the secret out loud - if he uttered the truth for all to hear… he just might do something he’d regret.
XV
Echo’s lungs blazed as she’d stepped out of McQueen’s apartment building into the frigid cold. The long coat she’d stolen from McQueen’s place did well to fight the winds, but she was in her underwear and slip-on heels. She was still mad Sage had cut off all her clothes off, but she didn’t have the energy to yell at her yet. Leaning against the wall outside, she clutched at her side hiding the fact she was gasping for every breath. The pain might have been everywhere, but cold was like a soothing balm.
“You really are a piece of work.”
Looking over her shoulder, Echo snorted as Sage stepped outside to join her. “If that’s true, why would you offer me a lift?”
Sage rolled her shoulders and stepped closer, averting her eyes. “Because of everyone in that room, you were the only one who told me the truth.” She nodded to herself like she’d strengthen her resolve. “McQueen lied: he hid that part of his life from me, played me for a fool. And the twins, well I’m sure they knew, and they said nothing.” Huffing a breath, Sage pulled her coat around herself. “Look, you can’t walk, and you didn’t turn up with a bag, so I assume you have no money or keys. You’re stuck here. Would you like a lift or not?” Sage offered again.
Echo eyed her suspiciously, before flicking her eyes up. McQueen, for all his goodness had not come running down the stairs after either of them. For Echo, she wasn’t surprised; McQueen would probably push her in front of a taxi before helping her into one, but big mistake not following Sage. She was a tough cookie, even Echo could see that, so she wasn’t going to forgive easily.
“I’ll take the lift, but don’t think I told you for your benefit.” She answered, indicating that Sage should lead the way to her car.
“I know it wasn’t for me. You’re a cold-hearted bitch.”
Echo blinked but held back her smile. The little nurse had some snap in her step; such bluntness from a tiny little thing was rather refreshing.
“Throwing that information in my face was a bitchy move. You did it on purpose to hurt McQueen and you did it because you could. Hells, maybe you did it because you hate people caring for you and you need to push them away,” Sage must have seen Echo’s hackles rise, because she quickly moved on. “It doesn’t matter. You’re a bitch for exposing McQueen like that-… but I also should thank you.”
“Thank me?” Echo laughed bitterly, “No one’s every thanked me for being a bitch.”
Anger fizzled in Sage’s gaze and Echo became even more intrigued. “I was a fool. I though he-… I thought he liked me. He’s the first guy in a long time to encourage me; who believed in me and what I was capable of. The environment I’m in… everyone wanted to step on each other to gain the upper hand, especially when it comes to gender in the workplace.” Sage sniffed as her face turned from anger to sadness. “He was genuine and kind. I’m an idiot for think we could have been more.”
Echo snorted loudly snapping Sage’s head up. “Please. You’re a woman. You saw something you liked, and you went for it. Fuck him for not telling you the truth.” Echo kept walking, “My Auntie Mara has a killer instinct for woman who’ve been scorned and you my dear where hit with a doozy. Fuck him and move on. Go fuck that Doctor you were talking to, let him fuck the idea of McQueen right from your mind.”
But when Echo glanced at Sage from the corner of her eyes, the nurse had flushed red and softly spoke into her scarf. “Actually, there was no Doctor. I made him up.” And with a sudden change in tempo, Sage groaned out loud. “Oh, I'm such an idiot. What was I thinking?”
Echo rolled her eyes. “You thought you could get some sweet guy, with a dazzling personality, who doesn’t have a single flaw, just like every childish, fantasising woman wants.”
“You’re calling me childish?” Sage asked, offended. They’d reached her car and Echo eyed it with distaste. It was a small, compact bug of a car that looked like a well-aimed cyclist could take it out.
“Yes.” Echo snapped, now annoyed. “Queenie lied to you, to your face and here you are screaming and crying like it’s your fault. Grow a pair! It’s his fault. His giant ego thought he could hide it from you and it’s not up to you to made the situation better.”
Sage looked struck dumb. Seconds passed so Echo helped herself into the car, slamming the passenger side door closed behind her and soon enough Sage followed, rolling the car into motion. They sat in silence for too long, before Sage finally answered Echo’s accusation. “I really liked him; you know.”
Echo crushed her teeth together. “No, I don’t know. I don’t let guys play me like that. Or girls for that matter, they’re just a liable to do the same thing.” Echo looked out the window and shook her head of the whole situation. Maybe she'd just throw the sap a bone causing mayhem as she went. “Look, for what it’s worth, I think he likes you too.”
Sage, consequently slammed on the brakes horror struck, and the two of them flew very close to the windscreen. “What?”
Echo smiled, remembering how she’d played cupid before in school, the situation remarkably similar to this one.
◆◆◆
“Yes, Jamie told me that he does like you.” Echo had whispered to Bethany while they queued to entre morning prayer. “But he’s stuck with Ella. He’d rather be with you.”
The little church fearing Beth blushed and her eyes darted across the tiny, chapel courtyard to where Jamie stood in line with the other boys. “He said that?” She asked in a whimsical voice. “But he never said-,”
“Why would he?” Echo interrupted, “Do you know what they call Ella?” Echo smiled politely at the Nun wandering past who straightened the student’s uniforms and made sure everyone was quiet. “Jezebella.” Echo whispered savagely. Of course, Echo had started the rumour and the name, smashing together Jezebel – the murderer, temptress and enemy of God and poor, innocent Ella’s name.
Beth gasped, but Echo could see the pleasure in her eyes, even after the Nun reprimanded them. “So, what do I do?” She asked as the line began to move. “He’s so dashing, I wouldn’t know how to talk to him.” She admitted.
Echo met Jamie’s gaze, his devilish grin matching hers across the small hedges and herb garden. She’d tasted that devilish smile, running her tongue along his teeth qhilw her nimble fingers had danced lower than Bethany or Ella would dare to think of.
“Oh, that I can help you with.” Echo offered and from those whispered words, well, there was no hope for poor, love struck Bethany.
◆◆◆
“What makes you think he likes me?” Sage asked, flapping as she tried to keep the car from crashing into the historic streets of Rippling.
Echo shrugged enjoying her memories of the past. “Because he’s Queenie. He likes good, kind decent people, who work hard not only in life, but to make other lives better.” Echo then snorted, remembering Sage had never met the infamous Anna. “Besides, his wife could use a bit a polish.”
“She’s ugly?” Sage asked in surprise.
“On the inside, sure.”
And that left Sage in a contemplative state. Echo thought she might now get some peace; the seeds of corruption planted. All Sage must do was push Queenie to choose her or Anna, his marriage or happiness, his God or love.
Poor little Bethany chose love and was caught behind the organ with her skirt hiked up, her pants around her ankles and Jamie h
alfway to glory. Weeks of writing out the Bible as punishment, as well as a caning across the back of her hands made poor Bethany of Babylon the talk of the school.
Echo was pretty proud of her little game, though it all came to an end when Bethany, just as she turned eighteen, suddenly went missing. Many claimed suicide - another moral sin to stain her soul - while others said her parents stole her away in the night out of shame. Echo didn’t know what had happened or cared. Echo hoped this time Queenie was sneakier than Jamie. Sex before marriage was one thing, sex wile married had a whole new set of rules and one more kink in Queenies halo meant one less kink until he was all hers.
“Can I ask you a question?” Sage asked, not removing her eyes from the road. Her hands however did clench on the wheel.
“No.” Yet despite Echo’s answer, Sage prattled on.
“Why do you find McQueen so interesting? I mean-… you talk all this talk about being a bitch to him, trying to hurt him, and all he’s ever been to you is kind. You test his resolve, try and tarnish him at every turn… but why?” Sage glanced at Echo for an answer, her face full of confusion.
“Because I can.” Echo answered, a half smile on her lips as Sage just gaped in shock. The truth was it didn’t have to be McQueen; she could have quite easily chosen Hale as her target, or a technician. She could have ignored them all and happily helped herself to the long stream of customers who waltzed to the House, day-in, day-out.
But that was the point. McQueen wasn’t like them. He was good, he was pure and kind. Never had Echo met someone quiet like him. Nuns were egotistical, believing they were married to God – as if someone so high would marry old hags like them – while other religious saps were selfish. They went to church, they prayed but they didn’t go out of their way to help others, be better or stand up for all that was good in the world. They just hoped if they prayed hard enough, talked to themselves long enough, they’d be given everything they wanted.
But Queenie…
“He’s just something I’ve never come across before.” Echo said to the window, her eyes unfocused and her mind lost in the memory of him. Sin-less, stainless, he was perfect, and Echo wanted to know how much shine she could scuff out.
◆◆◆
The sun was halfway to midday when Sage finally pulled her crusty, tin car up outside the House. Echo couldn’t have scrambled out of it fast enough, but Sage, like any normal human, felt the need to chat before she let Echo go.
“You’ll never hurt him; you know?” She said out of the rolled down window. Huffing a sigh Echo turned and pretend she cared what Sage had to say. “You’ll keep trying, I know you will, so I won’t tell you to stop, but you’ll never change McQueen from who he is.”
“And who is he?” Echo dared ask, thinking this would be good.
“He’s you’re friend.”
Echo’s chin almost hit the floor. She must have wax filling her ears, because there was no way she’d heard that right.
Yet preppy little Sage just kept going, oblivious to how wrong she was. “He cares for everyone, yes, and he wants everyone to be happy, but he doesn’t let just any injured person sleep in his bed. He doesn’t care for their health outside of his job or check in on them at the hospital, even after their case is closed.”
Echo blinked. This woman couldn’t be serious. He came to the hospital to see Sage; Echo was a guilty by-product and as for tonight, well she knew no one would turn away someone that badly beaten. “Bullshit.” Echo said. She didn’t have the time or the attention span to tell Sage how and why she was wrong.
But all Sage did was shrug. “Fine, don’t believe me. Alienate yourself from him and everyone else, but I’ll tell you this.” Sage paused to make sure Echo was listening, and damn it, Echo did lean it, drawn to what the woman might say next. “I know your game; I know you want me to pursue McQueen. It would be a fun chase for you to watch. A chaos of your own creation. But McQueen is good, and I might be pissed at him, but he is worth it. I still want him in my life, even if it is as a friend. You said you don’t let anyone play you, but you just don’t let anyone get close.”
Echo narrow her gaze at Sage, annoyed. To enjoy the game was one thing, but worse than losing the game was it not being played at all. “What’s your point?” Echo asked, her voice dark and deadly.
“You don’t let people close enough for them to hurt you. I might be childish for wishing for a Prince Charming, but you’ve put up thorns so high, no one stands a chance.” Sage nodded, no doubt a feeling superior as she passed on her wealth of knowledge in a simplistic metaphor. “You should let someone in, Echo, or you’ll die alone in that dark coffins of yours, asleep to the most amazing possibilities in the world.”
Echo kept her face blank through Sage’s speech; ignoring everything she had said, was as good as them not saying it at all.
“And if you and Queenie stay ‘friends,’ I’ll eat my cat.”
◆◆◆
It was almost afternoon by the time Echo entered the house and inside, she deeply breath in the fragrant air of sweat, sex, blood and alcohol. Home.
Looking left and right, she found all the lights off and not a patron in sight. Gone were the days they crashed on the floor and left for whenever they awoke.It was a shame, but with the fall-out of the Police raid, people sadly didn’t let loose as much as they used to.
Shuffling to the stairs, Echo’s ribs ached with every step. Her legs protested all up her calfs and even the arches of her feet cramped. And that was the minor stuff. Echo’s stomach felt heavy and her head just wanted to fall on a soft pillow.
The rest of the house continued to be dark and only the lights from the Winter Wing cast an eerie glow. Echo had never felt the house be so … empty. Stopping thetop step, Echo hesitated. She wasn’t stupid to think the Winter Wing’s light were on for no reason. The customers had gone home, the House had been done for the night hours ago which meant only one thing.
Her family awaited.
Approaching the door, she observed the cold, open room and immediately dropped her arms from around her waist. Straightening her back despite how it hurt she didn’t even contemplate what she was wearing. They’d seen her in less than her underwear.
“Girl. Come.” Was all that was said in greeting.
Archer sat at the head of the table and as Echo entered the room, she saw the rest of her family sat either side. Again. Very rarely did the Sins meet like this; all in one room, and now for the second time in a week…
They all wore stony faces and didn’t move to greet her. They didn’t ask her why she was limping, nor shown concern for her bloody face.
She didn’t movefrom teh door way; she hadn’t been asked, instead waiting for instruction, like a maid waiting for her duties. It stung Echo to her core, but she didn’t let on. Returning home from the hospital it had all been warm welcoming words and being whole once again with her family. This time was not the same.
“We were just having a family meeting.” Mara said, speaking down the table, not looking at her. Instead she closed her eyes and laced her fingers together. “You would have been invited, but you were nowhere to be found.” There was no anger in Mara's voice, merely saying a fact, like the latest boxing match scores. Cold. Distant. Uncaring.
“I’m sorry Mara I didn’t-,”
“Don’t apologise girl.” Archer suddenly snapped and Echo jumped, feeling very, very small. “Apologising is beneath you. It means you are lowly and weak. Are you lowly and weak girl?”
“No.” Echo replied, trying to harden her voice, but she wasn’t sure it worked.
“No. You were raised by us. You are us.” His fingers twitched, but still he hadn’t raised his voice. “We will say this only once girl,” A chill went down Echo’s spine and she dared not breath as no one else made a move. They were all statues, expressionless and immune.
Never had they disciplined her before, individually, sure when Echo wasn’t fast enough delivering a blow, Mara might break a finger. Or i
f Echo didn’t hold off her orgasm as Sam commanded, she would be bound and used. Gala would make the food turn rancid in her stomach or Nic would make her sleep for a few days when he thought she was being particularly annoying, but never had they done it like this: humiliated her in front of all of them as one.