by Lea Coll
Hadley moved closer, laying her arm over my chest. “That’s a beautiful memory.”
“I swore I’d never get close to someone again. At the time, moving on was unfathomable but now, being here with you, anything is possible.”
I shifted so I was leaning on my elbow, caressing her cheek with my hand. “You can’t be my first love, but maybe you’ll be my last. I can’t guarantee anything. None of us can, but I like being with you and I want to see where this goes.” It was better to tell her the truth and give her the option of walking away now rather than later—after she’d fallen in love with me.
Her eyes softened and she touched my cheek. Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. I hoped I’d said the right thing. She pulled me down for a kiss. I poured everything I was feeling into it. I hoped it would be enough.
Chapter Seventeen
HADLEY
The sun filtered through Cade’s windows the next morning unhindered, reminding me where I was—Cade’s house. I should have felt warm and cozy, but I felt unsettled. Was it the memory Cade shared with me? Was I setting myself up to be hurt?
I glanced over my shoulder to find Cade watching me thoughtfully, his arm folded behind his head.
“Do you have to go to work?” Cade rolled over, slinging an arm over me.
The weight of his arm was comforting. I relished in the feeling for a few seconds before I said, “Yes. I have to go to the bathroom and go home to get ready.”
I needed space to think about what I was doing. Cade pulling back last night was a good thing. He’d done me a favor. I couldn’t go from my overbearing father and Layton to yet another distraction. That’s exactly what Cade was—a distraction.
He didn’t say anything when I went to the bathroom—wearing only his shirt. I finger-brushed my hair before brushing my teeth with a spare toothbrush I found in the drawer. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t believe I’d jumped into something new so quickly. Last night, I’d felt the highest of highs, but Cade’s words centered me. Reminded me that he was probably still grieving Caroline. I could very well be a rebound for him.
Ever since I’d told Layton no, things in my life had gone into a downward spiral—the new firm wasn’t gaining clients as quickly as I hoped, I had pressure from my dad and Layton to return to New Orleans, and now Cade. Why did I think I could be happy when I hadn’t fixed the reasons I’d moved here? I still didn’t know who I was. I needed to be happy and content with who I was before I could be with someone else.
Cade couldn’t complete me. He had his own issues.
Disgusted with myself, I pulled open the bathroom door with more force than was necessary.
“Everything okay?” Cade raised his brows from his position against the pillows. One arm tucked behind his head and his bare chest visible above the sheet.
“Yup. I should probably get going.” I averted my eyes, picking up the pieces of my scattered outfit and got dressed.
I paused by his side of the bed, where he eyed me warily. “I’ll see you.” I dropped a chaste kiss on his lips, but before I walked away, he caught my wrist and tugged me back.
“Does this mood have anything to do with what I said last night?” He kept hold of my wrist, distracting me with light strokes on my skin.
I pursed my lips, unsure whether I should tell him everything I was thinking. “Maybe.”
“Nolan said I should be honest, but maybe that was a bad idea.” His expression was uncertain.
“You talked to Nolan about me?” I liked that more than I should. That meant he wasn’t hiding me. I was important to him.
“Yeah, I don’t want to screw this up.”
Warmth filled me and I sat on the bed next to his hip. The sheet slid down to reveal his toned abs. “So don’t.”
“What we have is special. I want to see where this goes.”
His hand cupped the back of my head as he pulled me down to capture my lips. I straddled his hips, wanting to be closer to him. My pussy settled on the length of his cock. Emotion crept up on me with each sweep of his hand, each pass of his lips on mine, each slow, calculated thrust of his hips. Slowly and surely, he’d slipped under my defenses and wrapped around my soul. He was so entangled with me. I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t think about anything but him and those words. I was special.
Avery greeted me at our office door with two to-go cups of coffee in her hand. “Hey, this is for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Guess what?” She unlocked the door before leaning her back against the door to open it. Her face was animated, her eyes filled with excitement.
I put Cade and our weekend out of my mind to focus on Avery. “What?”
“I got a call from the public defender’s office late on Friday that they have some overflow cases. I’m going to go pick them up soon.”
“That’s great news.”
“And Dylan was able to score a spot in the paper to advertise car accidents. Hopefully, we can expand on the civil law side taking personal injury cases, and eventually family law and estates and trusts.”
Relief flooded my body at the same time questions filled my brain. “Are you sure that was a good idea? I thought we were going to wait before we advertised for personal injury cases.”
We walked down the hall to our offices. “Dylan’s anxious to get started. Don’t forget our lease will increase soon.”
“In five months, but you’re right, we have to plan for it.” I placed my coffee on my desk.
“I’ll go pick up the files so that we can get started on them.”
“I’ll come with you.” I was still riding the glow of spending my weekend with Cade and I didn’t want it to end.
Cade
After I dropped Hadley off this morning, I returned home since I didn’t have karate class until four p.m. One of my jobs fell through so I had free time to work on my house.
I worried I couldn’t be the man Hadley needed, but I wanted to be. She deserved everything, a husband and children. It hurt to think about those things with someone other than Caroline, but maybe I’d be ready for them at some point.
I ripped out the remaining carpet in the living room. I was excited to have original hardwoods refinished and restored.
The front door opened. Nolan called, “Hey, finished a job and thought you could use some help.”
I jogged down the steps to greet him. “I could use help hauling the carpet to the dumpster.”
Nolan took in the bare floors visible on the first floor and the stairs. “Wow. You were busy this morning.”
“Yeah, I have some things on my mind.” Working always cleared things up for me, but my conversation with Hadley still bothered me.
“Should I be concerned?” Nolan studied me carefully.
I grabbed two beers from the fridge before handing him one. I led the way to the couch in the living room. “I’m worried things with Hadley are going too fast. I tried to slow things down, but I think I hurt her feelings instead.”
I didn’t like the uncertainty on her face this morning. I poured everything I was feeling into that kiss and what came after. It felt a lot like making love.
“What did you tell her?”
“That I wasn’t sure what I was capable of in a relationship, but I wanted to try. When I was with Caroline, it was a slow progression. We were younger. We had all of this time to date and get to know each other. It was this easy thing that happened. With Hadley, everything’s coming at me hard and fast. It’s good but a little scary.”
“You were honest with her. I’m not sure what else you could say. It’s understandable you’d want to take a new relationship slowly.”
“I can’t. Nothing with Hadley is slow. I’m drawn to her.” When we’re together, we ignite.
“That’s great, man.” Nolan’s face relaxed, his shoulders dropped as he eased back into the cushions.
“I’m worried being honest fucked things up with her. I caused her to doubt me.”
Nolan chuckled. “Well, you’re bound to screw something up.”
“What do you mean?” Was I destined never to be with someone again? Not because I didn’t want to move on but because I was irrevocably broken?
“Men always screw up in relationships. That’s why I avoid them. I’m sure Hadley understands it’s harder for you since Caroline died.”
Hadley wasn’t a short-term relationship with caveats and restrictions. She was the open-ended future any man would want but I wasn’t sure I could give her that.
“It’s okay if your relationships with Caroline and Hadley are different. They’re different people. What’s really bothering you?”
“After Caroline, I told myself I wouldn’t hope for marriage or kids again.”
“You deserve that future. Just because it didn’t work out with Caroline, doesn’t mean it won’t work out with Hadley.”
“I never thought I’d feel that way about someone again.” Initially, I thought I could be with Hadley, form a connection with her, and keep it light. With Caroline, we’d dated for a year before I’d been comfortable saying those words. Our relationship was slow and methodical. Decisions were made after careful thought and discussion. This thing with Hadley was zooming out of my control faster than a freight train with failing brakes.
“Maybe this is a good thing. If it moved slowly, you’d have time to doubt your feelings.” Nolan observed me as he spoke.
Maybe he was right. I should go along with things as long as they were good. Why question it?
“You should bring her to Sunday dinner.” Nolan had a gleam in his eye, like he was happy about Hadley. Like he wanted us together.
“I don’t know.”
“Think about it. It might make it easier for you to be in the house again.”
I hadn’t realized he knew the real reason I never went to family dinner.
Nolan stood before dropping his empty bottle on the counter. “Want to work or keep talking about women?”
I chuckled, feeling a thousand times better. I could be with her and let things happen naturally, right? “Let’s get to work.”
Chapter Eighteen
HADLEY
Avery flopped into my chair. “It’s nice having work to do, isn’t it?”
“It is. I like being busy.”
“Dylan’s a natural at drawing in clients. I had two new ones call this morning. I’m excited to see the growth when she officially starts next week. The website should be up and running then. I’ll send you a link to view the draft.”
“Good. If we want to be taken seriously, we need to look professional—an attractive website, a receptionist, and—” I looked around at the dated carpet, the walls which still bore the holes from the prior tenant.
“I was hoping we could get away with holding off on renovations, but I think we should do it before we get too busy. Maybe Cade knows someone who could come in and install new carpet and throw on a fresh coat of paint.”
“Or we could hire someone to do the carpet and paint it ourselves over the weekend?” I wanted to do it myself.
“Ah. That’s a good idea.” Avery tapped her lips with her finger before her forehead wrinkled. “I’d need to run any improvements past the landlord.”
“Won’t he be happy we’re improving this place?”
“You would think, but he’s perpetually unhappy. He’s either always grumpy or just with me. I can’t decide.” Avery’s face was pinched.
“I can’t imagine you pissing anyone off.” Avery was quiet. She wasn’t as outgoing as Dylan or me.
She shifted on her chair. “Things come out wrong when I talk. I’m a little awkward.”
“I haven’t noticed that at all.”
Avery rolled her eyes. “Stick around long enough and I’ll say something embarrassing. I don’t think the landlord wants us to get too comfortable here.”
“Seems to me he’d rather keep a tenant than find a new one.” I folded my arms over my chest, trying to figure out what to do.
“You would think, but I think he has it out for us because of the mix-up in the contract.”
“I can handle him if you want.”
“I’ll let you know if he gets worse.” She smiled, focusing on me. “What’s going on with you and Cade? Did you have a moment after we left dinner the other night?”
I plopped into her guest chair. “Yes. He showed me the harbor. Then the next day, I went to a class and we’ve been kind of seeing each other since then.”
“Wow. That’s great, isn’t it?”
“Things have been going great, but he mentioned something last night that worried me. It was honest but set me on edge. I’m wondering if I’m setting myself up to get hurt.” I debated telling her that Cade’s wife died. I didn’t want to violate his trust, but I knew Avery would keep it between us.
“What makes you think that?”
“His wife died of cancer five years ago and he’s unsure if he can be in a relationship again. He’s not sure he can give me all of him. That’s kind of how I took it. He said he wanted to try, so that’s good, right?” He’d recovered nicely this morning, but I couldn’t get what he’d said out of my head.
“That’s noble of him but also cocky. You’ve been seeing him for what, a week? How does he know something serious is even on your radar?”
My cheeks heated and Avery’s eyes widened.
“No. You don’t have feelings for him already, do you?”
I nodded miserably. “I don’t know what to do. I moved here to find myself—to figure out who I am. This thing with Cade is intense.”
“Cade’s a distraction?”
“We’ve barely gotten the firm off the ground. My dad’s threatening to withdraw money from Kids Speak. I should be focused on that and not whether Cade is ready for a relationship.”
“Maybe you don’t need to figure out who you are so much as set boundaries with your family. You can go home on your terms. You set limits and stick to them. We’ll figure out Kids Speak together.”
It felt good to have friends to count on.
“Maybe he’s not the right guy forever but the right guy for now.”
She’d made a good point, but my stomach dropped when she said he was the right guy for now. I didn’t want to think about him moving on with someone who wasn’t me.
The office phone rang. “I’ll get it.” Avery disappeared into her office. I tried to get back to work but I couldn’t get the image of Cade with another woman out of my mind.
Chapter Nineteen
HADLEY
Each night this week, I’d seen Cade in class, or we’d met up after to cook dinner together and watch a movie. It was very relationship-like and nothing I’d experienced before. My dates in the past revolved around charity galas, business dinners, and appearances for one thing or another. Something as simple as dinner and a movie never happened. I loved it.
Avery and I spent the afternoon on Friday in the conference room, with Cade’s contracts spread out on the table.
“Let’s organize them into paid, unpaid, and partial payments. Then we can get an idea of what’s going on,” I said.
“How are things with Cade?”
I paused and placed the file I’d been reading on the table in front of me. “Good.”
“You don’t sound overly excited.”
“I think it might be tough at times for him. I worry he’s not ready to move on or that something will trigger a memory and he’ll pull away from me.”
“It’s to be expected, I guess.”
“Right.”
Dylan burst into the room, filled with energy and excitement. “Hey, guys, I’m glad I caught you both here.”
I exchanged an amused look with Avery before setting the files aside.
“First of all, did you get an appointment with the county superintendent yet?” Dylan asked me.
“I scheduled it for next week.” That was my first step. I started with the superintendent. Then spoke wit
h the teachers and assistants, who worked directly with the kids. I found the process was smoother that way, giving me a feel for how welcome my program would be.
“Perfect. I talked to several PTAs in the county. They’re so excited to have you come in to talk to the parents and teachers.”
“That’s great.” The PTA was the heart of the school. They were in charge of fundraising and ensuring teachers had what they needed in the classrooms.
“They want to include you in the back-to-school programs in August. You’d talk to the parents at back-to-school night and send an email out before school started outlining your program. If there’s a good reception, they’ll include your program in their funding.”
“What do you mean?” I’d never asked for that before. I’d never needed to.
“The PTAs here do one large fundraiser a year. The money raised goes to school assemblies and teacher’s supplies. They want to include your program pending the superintendent’s approval, of course. Everyone I talked to was so excited to get started.”
“That’s amazing, Dylan. I can’t thank you enough.” She’d made a tremendous amount of progress in a week.
“It was fun. I love doing stuff like this.” She pulled out a conference chair and plopped into it. “What are you guys working on? Did we get our first big murder case?”
“Ha! No. This is Cade Morrison’s business records,” I said.
“His files are a mess. It’s a good thing we’re helping him,” Dylan said.
“Tell me about it.” I shouldn’t have been surprised. Cade got so caught up in making things beautiful, he’d neglected to follow up on the business side of things. “I’m hoping to free up funds so he can use it for his charity.”