More than anything, love is the deep sense of spiritual connection, the sense of being touched, moved, and inspired to heights beyond our normal limits. It is a connection with a deep, fundamental truth that runs through all of life and connects us together. Love makes the mundane sacred-so that it is cared for and protected. When we lose our sense of connection with all life, we have lost the sacred, and we no longer care for and protect that which nourishes us.
We are that love. We are its life force, its expression, its manifestation, its vehicle. Through it we grow, we transcend, we triumph, and surrender to grow again even deeper. We are renewed, cut down, and renewed again. It is the force of the eternal, the stabilizer. Blessings be to the central wheel of life from which all others turn.
RELATIONSHIP AND BALANCE
The ideal situation for really understanding another is not so much how a person reacts to extreme stress, but rather how he or she suffers the vulnerability of falling in love.
-Aldo Carotenuto'
At the level of the fourth chakra, we step out of the minute cycles of the lower chakras and gain an overview of how they function together. Isvara, the deity within this lotus, is the God of Unity, representing the interdependence of the three fundamental tendencies (tamas, rajas, and sattvas). He represents the balance of these three qualities, sometimes thought of as illusion, for this state of balance is always in flux. To move from separation into unity first requires entering into relationship.
Let's review the building of our structure thus far, seeing the relationship among the lower chakras. Chakra one is about material objects that are separate, distinct, and solid. These objects range in size from subatomic particles (inasmuch as they can even be called objects) to planets and stars. At chakra two, we looked at how objects movedthe forces that acted on them. At chakra three, we looked at the reorganization that occurs from this movement as objects collide, change structure, combust, and release energy. We then saw how everything has these cycles within it, combining to form larger structures.
These cycles can only continue when they are in a certain kind of relationship. Poles do not attract when they are too far apart to be relevant. Not all fuel catches fire. There is a larger force that keeps these subroutines functioning-the force of chakra four-a force we call love. This force perpetuates the eternal dance of relationship, so that the smaller components can continue their subroutines and keep us functioning. Love for the body motivates us to take care of our physical needs. In a family, love keeps its members together, so they can conduct the business of life and raise their children. For a group, love of a common cause keeps its members relating, so they can accomplish their tasks. Love of learning makes us buy books or go to school. It is love that keeps us in relationship.
This mysterious force is full of paradox. It has gravitation as well as radiation. We fall in love, yet are lifted by the experience. Love binds together without limiting. It requires both closeness and distance. It is the essence of balance and equilibrium-dwelling at the core of each of us.
As our smaller patterns and cycles repeat, they are perceived and regulated by the mind, which, acting through the will, ensures their continuity. We see these aspects in terms of their relationships-we see the space between, rather than the things themselves. We view the world as an interlocking puzzle.
As between each of the chakras, the primary difference between the third and the fourth is one of awareness. Through the creation and repetition of pattern, the organism becomes self-aware. Our lower chakra activity has influenced and created consciousness. We have acted according to our instincts and emotions, learning from our mistakes. Our learning becomes ever more complex and is stored in the higher centers as concepts, memory, and logic, to descend downward again, where our consciousness can influence our actions.
Relationship is the interface between matter and information, and plays a part in all the levels that lie between. In fact, all information could be regarded as awareness of relationship. These patterns give us the concepts which form the basic structure of our thoughts, communication and perception. They are the foundation of who we are. The fourth chakra level of consciousness perceives the world as an intricate web of relationships, bound together by the force of love.
Once we perceive objects and their activities as relationships, we begin to perceive the perfection, balance, and eternal nature of these relationships. In viewing the planets, for example, we see an endless cycle of relationships, perfectly coordinated and balanced-the planets in orbit moving in balance with the pull of the sun, repeating their patterns eternally. We see each of the stars in its place in the heavens, though moving and pulsating; each blade of grass covers its own spot of turf, though it dies each year and is reborn.
As we perceive patterns in this way, we see that all lasting patterns are a product of a dynamic equilibrium among its parts. We then find each element of life woven into a greater pattern, each in its own place. We can then seek a point of balance between ourselves and our surroundings. This point becomes an integral part of the whole, giving it the coherence of a mandala, emanating from a central point. When we understand the perfection of the relationships around us, it beckons the heart to open.
In our interpersonal relationships, the same rule of balance applies. Relationships endure when an overall balance is maintained. They end when one or both partners feels the relationship has gotten out of balance and does not have the capacity to return. This can be due to an imbalance of taking and giving, an imbalance in basic life force, in spiritual evolution, money, sex, power, housework, childcare, communication, or any of the other elements that play out in the arena of relationship. It must be remembered that this balance is dynamic rather than static- it fluctuates over time. It is the overall totality that must contain a basic parity if the relationship is to survive.
Balance within ourselves gives us the best shot at maintaining balance in our relationships with others. Inner balance allows us to perceive and enter the equilibrium within the ordered pattern of the mandala, which then becomes a point of openness and stability. Neither the mind nor the body, nor any single chakra can do it alone. It must be done with the fullness of the heart as the center of being.
When the will has consciously tempered and fulfilled our needs, our mind can better enter into an understanding of relationship, and we find our "proper place." From this place, all our relationships, as well as their beginnings and endings, are in harmony with a greater pattern. Relationships with the greatest equilibrium and, therefore, the most grace, will necessarily be the most enduring. The ones that are more transitory are stepping stones in the swirling creation of a larger pattern.
This realization of perfection opens the heart to receive.
Each chakra receives its charge of energy by being in alignment with the sushumna, as the central column of energy. If we are not in balance with ourselves, our chakras fall out of alignment, much as the vertebrae in the spine can fall out of alignment. Unfortunately, there are no "chakra-practors" to put them back in place. This is something we must do ourselves.
The heart chakra, as the exact center of the personal mandala, suffers the greatest loss, and causes the greatest damage if it should fall too far out of its place. Imbalances within the heart (the central core) can throw the entire system off balance. Not only is balance between the upper and lower chakras and between the mind and body necessary, but also between inner and outer, between self and transcendence. In order to love there must be a certain transcendence of ego and loss of separateness that allows us to experience a greater unity. We give up some of our individuality for this union.
As this union is facilitated by moving along the liberating current, we experience the freeing, exhilarating effect of love-the union, the transcendence, a sacred and somewhat altered state of consciousness. Falling out of love is a return to a smaller place, the mundane self, alone and separated, fallen from the grace and idyllic high of this love state. We, therefore, become at
tached to maintaining the state of love.
The risk of the exhilarating lift of love is that we can easily lose our ground. In order to maintain love, we need a ground from which to nourish it and provide roots. We must retain a part of the individual self-a part of the substance from which passion and will emerge. If we transcend our separateness too much, we are no longer fully present. We have separated the flame from the fuel, and we come crashing down to Earth as it burns out. We have tipped our balance and we can no longer offer substance to the relationship at hand. When we lose ourselves, we lose our center, we lose our own heart, and displace our relationship to our loved ones. In the words of D. H. Lawrence, ". . . if one yields oneself up to the other entirely, there is a guttering mess. You have to balance love and individuality, and actually sacrifice a portion of each."
Living in balance is living in a state of grace, of delicacy, of gentleness. Love is that which endures, and likewise, what is done with love will endure. That which is out of balance will not endure. Only by being balanced within ourselves can we hope to balance the world.
To maintain our balance we must be aware of all our parts. This is not something that occurs in an intellectual fashion, like taking inventory in a storeroom. Instead, it comes from a dynamic experience of our center-the heart itself-which organically organizes and balances if given the freedom to do so.
Lastly, the heart chakra needs to be balanced between input and output. Just as the breath equalizes its inhalations and exhalations, so, too, must our energy replenish itself in order to keep giving. When handled properly, there is an infinite supply of energy through any chakra. Love multiplies as it is given. Yet many people lose their alignment by giving too much, losing their ground, or giving when their energy is depleted. We are taught that selfishness is bad-that it is wrong to balance our accounts from time to time. Yet altering our own balance can alter the symmetry of the mandala around us. Constant overdrawing of the account can deplete the resources until we can't give at all. Then we can have a backlash that is not very loving at all.
In balance between all things, we need to get out of the polarities of "good" and "evil." We need not be puritanically good to stroke our delicate egos, nor need we be selfishly evil. True love flows from one center to another, allowing each the freedom to dance their own part in their own unique way. As Anahata is a yin chakra, one of its challenges is to allow "letting" to replace "doing" or "making." Only then can we truly perceive the pattern for what it is.
Love is not something that is attached to an object. Love is a state of being in harmony with oneself. Ken Dychtwald, after an extended fast where he meditated on the subject of love, came to describe it this way.
Love seems to be the appreciation that we are all little lumps in the same earthly soup which is a little lump in a larger cosmic soup. So, love is an awareness of this beautiful energetic relationship and a natural appreciation of this situation. It doesn't seem to be a matter of finding love ... it's a matter of being aware of it. It's not a question of invention but rather of discovery.6
Love is the natural relationship between healthy living things. We need only to believe that it is around us at all times and in all things to find it within ourselves.
AFFINITY
Affinity is a term used in chemistry to describe the tendency of one substance to enter into and remain in combination with another substance. This occurs because of an intrinsic fit within the atomic structure of the substance.
The result of affinity is bonding. When two substances with affinity for each other come together, they bond, forming a more permanent connection. Each has something the other is lacking. On a simplified level, it is the attraction of opposites seeking to balance themselves.
Human bonding can be so similar to chemical bonding that we often refer to it as "chemistry." We may not always understand why we feel drawn toward someone, but the feeling is there, nonetheless, and it is often irresistible.
Most often, the person has something in his or her energy field that we want and need. If we're lucky, we have something they need too, and a bonding can occur, good for the duration of the affinity feelings. As the heart chakra is the center of balance, it is fitting that love itself arises, initially, out of a natural tendency to merge and balance our energy with other living creatures.
Often this balance can be analyzed in terms of chakras. We've all felt the nonverbal ads: "White male, thirty-two, with dominant upper chakra awareness seeks grounded female; guaranteed to raise Kundalini;" or "Black female, highly creative, seeks second chakra partner for TLC." While these ads are not written in words in the newspaper, they are broadcasted at parties, and our psychic senses pick them up each time we meet someone.
This is not to say that we have an affinity only for those who are opposite to us. Many times, finding someone that shares our views can also give us that feeling of affinity-the peaceful sense of validation that comes from finding one who understands. The energy we project outward finds a matching energy reaching in. Again, our chakras, both open and closed, are searching for balance. It is not based on polarity as much as the organism seeking enhancement for its next stage of unfoldment. (See chapter 11, "Chakras and Relationships.")
The most important aspect of affinity, however, lies not in our chemical attraction to others, but in the development of affinity within the composite parts of the self. When we have this sense of affinity, we emanate a vibration that is loving, accepting, and joyful. This allows, and even encourages others to find their own sense of affinity.
So many people have minds that constantly war with their body: "You're too fat." "Work harder. Not until you finish this project can you rest." "What do you mean you're hungry? I just fed you an hour ago!" Many people take control of their bodies in a way that is harsh and unyielding.
The body, too, can war with the mind, like a spoiled child constantly demanding attention. "Feed me" "I'm too tired" Then, like a child, it needs to be "unspoiled," but in a way that is nurturing and supportive, making sure that the child gets the basic things it needs.
Self-acceptance is our first chance to practice unconditional love. It doesn't mean that we have to give up striving to be better, but that our self-love is not conditional on some future or imagined change. When this occurs within our heart, it then becomes easier to accept others, faults and all, with the unconditional love of the heart chakra. With acceptance and compassion for ourselves, it then becomes easier to make personal changes.
Affinity can also be seen as a vibrational quality. When we are "in affinity," the harmonious state we feel gives coherency to everything we say or do, like the tones of a scale in harmonic resonance. We radiate love because we have created a coherent center within ourselves, which in turn harmonizes the surrounding circumstances.
In the organ of the heart, each cell is beating continuously. If we were to dissect the heart, each cell would continue to beat by itself. As soon as we put these cells together with other heart cells (as on a microscope slide), the cells shift their rhythm so that they are pulsating together. They enter a state of rhythmic resonance (something we will discuss more fully in the fifth chakra). By tuning into our heartbeat, we tune ourselves into the resonance with the core rhythm of our organism and the rhythm of the world around us.
So how does one go about creating this sense of affinity? By taking a little quiet time to talk to yourself. All it really takes is checking in with yourself now and then. After you read these words, take time to close your eyes and take a deep breath, and say hello to your body. See if you get a hello in return. Begin a dialogue. Are there ways you could treat yourself better? Are there parts that need attention, parts that dominate unnecessarily? Do you treat yourself as well as you treat others? Is it time you threw a party to show your appreciation? Or do you need to just sit still and listen for awhile?
If there is strength in numbers, it is only when those numbers are united. We have many composite parts to ourselves. Our very strength lies
in the unity and harmony within those parts. Only then are we able to effectively give to others. If those parts are all tuned into the center-the heart of the organism-they then are simultaneously tuned to each other and enter a natural state of affinity.
HEALING
Consciously or unconsciously every being is capable of healing himself or others. This instinct is inborn in insects, birds, and beasts, as well as in man. All these find their own medicine and heal themselves and each other in various ways.
-Sufi Inayat Khan'
To heal is to make whole. If the heart chakra is the integrator and unifier, then it follows that it is also the center of healing. Indeed, love is the ultimate healing force.
As we come up to the heart chakra, we encounter the arms. Upright, with arms outstretched, the body forms a kind of cross, the four points of which meet in the heart. (See Figure 5.4, page 211.) Just as the legs are connected to chakra one, the arms are an integral part of the middle chakras three, four, and five. The inside, yin channels of the arms contain three of the fourteen Chinese energy channels, called meridians. These particular meridians correspond to the heart, lungs, and pericardium (a loose sack covering the heart). (See Figure 5.5, page 212.) Obviously, these are all relevant to the heart chakra, and they carry energy from that center down to the arms and hands.
The channels of energy moving out from the heart toward the hands I call the healing channels, the means by which healing energy reaches out to others. There are also minor chakras in the hands. Hands are very sensitive extensions of the body/mind, having far more neural receptors than most parts of the body. The hands both create and receive and are sensory organs pulling in as much information as the eyes and ears. They are valuable tools in the perception and control of psychic energy. (To open the hand chakras, see the exercise on page 20.)
Wheels of Life Page 17