by Liz Isaacson
“Sure, of course,” she said, feeling selfish and hoping he didn’t mind taking some of her weight for a little while.
Chapter 9
Emery secured her hand in Archer’s before she opened the front door and re-entered her townhome. Her mom had indeed arrived, and she had a spread of white boxes from Pan’s on the kitchen counter. The sharp scent of the orange sauce on their chicken met her nose and reminded her that she hadn’t eaten in hours.
“Emersyn.” Her mother hurried toward her and hugged her. Emery thought her mom felt skinnier than last time she’d seen her. She’d always been rail thin, and Emery had learned her bird-like eating habits from her mom, who was always grabbing an apple or a bag of nuts as she rushed from her job at the bookstore to her job at Migliano’s, an upscale Italian restaurant. On Saturdays, she helped at the library for a few hours.
“Hey, Mom.” Emery felt a similar level of acceptance and comfort from her mom, but she didn’t want to come home to her mom. She wanted to come home to Archer. She stepped out of her mom’s embrace. “This is my boyfriend, Archer Bailey.”
Her mom scanned him from head to toe, her eyes stalling on the cowboy boots and then the hat. She smiled at him. “Hello, Archer.”
He tipped his hat. “Ma’am.”
“Oh, we’re huggers.” Her mom stepped into Archer, and she looked like a dwarf next to his tall frame and wide shoulders.
Archer chuckled and received her mom into a friendly hug, meeting Emery’s eyes over her mom’s head. They sparkled like fool’s gold, and Emery grinned at him before sauntering over to the Chinese food.
“What do you want, Glenna?”
“I already took her something,” Emery’s mom said. “We ate, so go ahead and take what you want.”
Archer joined her in the kitchen, stepping too close to be friendly and glancing down at her with a playful glint in his eye.
“Behave,” she whispered. “My mother is here.”
He growled, scooped orange chicken onto his plate, and winked at her before joining her family in the living room.
Emery took her time with the food, mostly because she needed a few extra minutes to sort through her feelings. The easy way Archer assimilated himself into the conversation, watching Glenna when she spoke, laughing at something her mom said.
She couldn’t help feeling like she’d made the best and worst decision of her life to start dating him, and she wasn’t sure what would happen when Christmas came and they couldn’t ride up to the ranch together anymore.
Archer detected a change in Emery over the course of the next couple of weeks. He’d expected it, but he didn’t know how to handle it. Didn’t know what to say to her. Didn’t know how to help her beyond carrying Glenna up the stairs in the evening and back down in the morning.
He and Emery still drove to work together every day, but their conversations weren’t as robust, and she hadn’t kissed him in that super passionate way in days.
He worked with another recruit, cleaning watering troughs in the barn, his thoughts far from making sure everything got sanitized and refilled for the horses. Archer still won the star over Clyde, further cementing his future victory.
He wasn’t as happy about it as he thought he should be. His relationship with Emery had cast a cloud over the job at Horseshoe Home, and he found himself wondering if he should focus on one thing at a time.
Finally, the day before Thanksgiving, with the scent of pumpkin pie hanging in the air at the administration lodge, he found Emery in the kitchen, washing her hands. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked.
She glanced at him in surprise, her blonde braid resting on her shoulder. “Now?” They didn’t normally converse much beyond saying hello or nodding while at work. Somehow, though, everyone at the ranch knew they were together.
“Yes, now.” He nudged her toward the room at the back of the kitchen that used to be a mudroom when the building was used as a house. He closed the door behind them, sealing them in. “I need to know what you’re thinking,” he said.
“About what?”
“Everything.” He blew out his breath. “You don’t talk to me anymore.”
Shutters flew over her eyes, and his frustration grew. “Nothing to say,” she said, doing that thing she used to do where she wouldn’t look directly at him.
“I know that’s not true.” He fisted his hands so he wouldn’t twine his fingers with hers. “Em, what’s going on?”
“What’s going on?” The words exploded from her mouth. “What’s going on, Archer, is that I’ve come to rely on you, and I hate that.” She set her mouth into a tight line and shook her head.
“I like helping you.”
“And it makes me feel weak. I’m not weak.”
“I never said you were.”
“I have work to do.” She brushed past him and pulled open the door. Archer had no idea what was going on, or why him coming over to carry her sister up to her bedroom would make Emery feel weak. She still couldn’t lift a single bale of hay by herself. Why did it matter if he helped out?
“What are you doin’ in there?” Jace peered at him with confusion in his eyes. He held a sandwich in his hand.
“Emery said she doesn’t like relying on me.” Archer didn’t know where the words had come from, or why he’d thought his personal problems should be laid at the feet of his boss. “I don’t get it.”
Understanding flowed into Jace’s expression and he removed the sandwich from the bag. “She’s a strong-willed woman, that one.”
“Yeah.” Archer sighed. One of the qualities he’d always admired about Emery was the one that would come between them? He didn’t like that. “So what do I do?”
“Let her be her.”
“She can’t carry her sister up the stairs. Someone has to do it.”
“Do they?” Jace shrugged. “Probably doesn’t help that you’re the superstar around here, earning more stars than even some of my veteran cowboys.”
“I—” Archer didn’t know what to say.
“You’re a natural cowboy, Archer. We’d be lucky to have you here.” Jace took a bite of his sandwich and chewed. He swallowed and said, “In fact, pretty much the only way I’m not going to hire you is if you quit.” He ducked his cowboy hat and left the kitchen.
Archer’s disbelief roared, and his spirit shot toward the sky. Jace had all but offered him the job, right there, right then. He stepped out of the mudroom, part of him rejoicing and the other part in a tailspin.
He’d wanted this job so badly he could taste it, had dreamt about it.
But he also wanted Emery, and he had the distinct feeling that he couldn’t have both.
He spent Thanksgiving Day with his parents. Neither of his brothers came home, and the holiday passed with turkey and mashed potatoes, pecan pie and vanilla ice cream, and a short list of things Archer was thankful for.
Emery topped the list. So did Horseshoe Home Ranch and Jace and the fact that Archer now knew he could be a career cowboy. After all, a compliment from a ranch owner like Jace wasn’t taken lightly.
The day after Thanksgiving, when Gold Valley shops were full of people buying Christmas gifts, he drove up to the ranch with Emery. There’d been something unspoken between them since he’d pulled her into the mudroom last week, and he hated it.
“Is this how we are now?” he asked as she turned Jenny onto the ranch road.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to stop coming over to help with Glenna?”
“I don’t know.”
He really hated that she wouldn’t look at him. “What can I do to make things better?”
“I don’t know.” She pulled into a space several paces down from the administration lodge, her shoulders boxy and tight. She opened her mouth to say something, though better of it, and got out, leaving Archer alone with Jenny.
“I love you,” he whispered to Emery’s retreating form. “Don’t you love me too?”
He k
new what she’d say: I don’t know.
Somehow he got through the day, earning three stars in the process of hauling hay and scrubbing out closets in the administration building. Apparently there was a lot more to ranching than just dealing with animals. He had to deal with men too.
“Hey,” he said to Elliott near sunset. “Can you drive me home tonight?”
Elliott looked at him with questions in his eyes. “What?”
“Emery and I…I just need a ride home after work. If you can’t, I’ll ask Clyde.”
“I can,” Elliott said. “I need to get a few things at the grocery store anyway. Maybe a Christmas gift or two.” He looked like he wanted to ask Archer more questions, but he didn’t. He just went back to polishing the saddle he’d been working on.
Archer stepped outside and texted Emery. Staying up here with Elliott. Don’t need a ride home.
She didn’t respond, but by the time he made it back to the administration building, her car was gone. It felt like a silent breakup, and Elliott clapped his hand on Archer’s shoulder. “I don’t know what happened with you guys, but you seemed good together.”
“We are good together.” Archer stared down the empty lane, all the way until it turned and headed out to the main highway. “She—she’s a strong-willed woman.” He wouldn’t talk badly about her, not to anyone.
He ate dinner with Elliott and even walked around the downtown shops and bought his mother a new teapot and his father a pair of leather work gloves. He knew Charlie liked puzzles and Xan enjoyed a good Rubik’s cube, so he bought their gifts in the Hallmark store, which boasted games and stationery, cards and wrapping paper, figurines and keepsakes.
He didn’t see anything for Emery, mostly because he didn’t know what he might buy for her. He wanted to get her something, even if she was back to staring past him when they were forced into small talk in the backyard.
His heart rebelled at the idea that he wouldn’t see her later that night, kiss her good-night after he carried her sister upstairs. But his brain knew he hadn’t been kissing her good-night for a week now.
As Elliott dropped him off and he saw that all of Emery’s windows were dark, a wild thought stole through his mind.
And he suddenly knew exactly what to give her for Christmas.
Chapter 10
Archer had never wanted Christmas to come so badly, not even when he was a child. He’d been driving up to the ranch by himself for two weeks, making plans with Jace, and Tom, and Ty, and Elliott for two weeks. Watching Emery’s house and watching her at work for two weeks.
He didn’t know what went on behind her closed doors, as he’d stopped going over there to help, something that ate at him until he called Doctor Pinnion, the pastor at church, and told him about Emery’s sister needing help.
The very next morning, loud pounding on his front door had his heart racing. The adrenaline poured through him, igniting the competitive fire in his gut. Because he knew who stood on the other side, and that Emery would not be happy.
Sure enough, he opened the door to find lasers practically shooting from her eyes. “You called Doctor Pinnion about us?”
He casually draped his hand over the top of the door. “You need help. It can’t be good for Glenna’s back to sleep on the couch.”
“You have no idea where she sleeps.” Emery’s fingers coiled into fists and she stalked off his porch and then back on it like a caged tiger.
“It was either Doctor Pinnion or Jace,” Archer said calmly. “I figured you’d prefer help from the church than from the ranch.”
Her face turned bright red, and Archer knew he’d made the right decision. “Of course, if you’d just let me come help Glenna….”
“Well, you’re going to have to,” she snapped. “She doesn’t want some stranger carrying her up and down the stairs. Honestly, Archer.”
“You wouldn’t let me help,” he said, his voice taking on a tone he didn’t like. He schooled it back into submission. “Emery, all I’ve ever wanted to do is help you. It’s why I’ve hauled your garbage can with all those silly bumper stickers out to the curb on Wednesdays, and why I happen to time my dog’s potty breaks with when you’re in the backyard.” His chest hurt so much, so much.
“I’ve—I need—” Tears filled her eyes, but they weren’t the same kind as last time she’d sobbed into his chest. That had come from grief, from fear, from pure exhaustion. These tears were angry, but Archer much preferred this animated version of Emery to the plastic doll she’d become since her sister had moved in.
“You need me.” He reached out and took her hand. “I’m not going to abandon you when things get hard.”
She yanked her hand away, her face turning pale. He’d never seen her so furious. “Glenna needs you to take her up and down the stairs.” She spoke in a freaky calm voice that alerted Archer that he should probably back up before he got punched in the mouth.
Archer’s hopes crashed and burned. He held onto the thought that he still had his Christmas present for Emery, but he realized he shouldn’t have made any references to her father.
“I’ll come by tonight,” he said.
She shook her head, her tears spilling over. She wiped at them furiously. “No, this morning. She needs to shower.”
“I’ll be right over.”
Emery nodded once and stomped away, leaving Archer with a hole in his chest where his heart should be. Still, he put on his boots and steeled himself to go next door. He knocked and waited, where he would’ve simply entered a few weeks ago.
“Come in,” Glenna called, and Archer complied. The stench of an unwashed body hit him square in the face, but he put on a smile. Dishes littered the countertop in the kitchen, and the garbage obviously hadn’t been emptied in weeks. Pure agony tore through him.
But he lifted Glenna as if she weighed nothing, as if she smelled like a summer’s rose, as if he hadn’t been the cause of this disaster that sat only a wall away.
Christmas definitely couldn’t come fast enough.
Emery strode along the sidewalks in the complex, estimating how long it would take Archer to get his shoes on and get Glenna up to the bathroom. She’d need to get home and help her sister into the shower before going to work. She checked her phone. Five more minutes.
She needed five more years to get over her pride and find a way through this blazing anger coursing through her. But Archer had had no right to call the pastor. No right whatsoever.
Just like you had no right to try to steal his job at the ranch.
The thought stopped her in her tracks. She hadn’t thought about her behavior in a while, simply because Archer wasn’t angry with her anymore. He’d forgiven her. He’d asked her what he could do to make things better between them, and she’d said she didn’t know.
But she did.
There was nothing wrong with them. Only everything wrong with her. Glenna living with her made Emery’s stress level atrocious, and she didn’t sleep well, thinking every little sound was Glenna needing help.
She didn’t want Archer to see this horrible, selfish side of herself, so she’d shut him out. There was a reason she hadn’t had Glenna living with her, and it was all about Emery. She didn’t like the person she was when she was Glenna’s caretaker, almost like Emery disappeared. She became a nameless, faceless servant, and she hated it.
In those moments, she understood perfectly why her father had left. She thought about leaving herself. And she absolutely could not face that side of herself, or allow anyone else to see it. Especially not Mr. Perfect, whose only problem came from disappointing his father five years ago.
Emery shook her head, her fury accelerating her pulse once more. Archer didn’t understand, and she didn’t want to explain it to him until he did. Eliminating him from her life was actually easier. At least she thought it would be.
But he was always there, ever present in her mind, lurking just across the fence and just around the corner at the ranch.
By th
e time she returned to her house, she was going to be late for work. She found she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to get the job at Horseshoe Home anyway. She entered through the backyard, sliding open the door that led into the kitchen.
She froze, the scent of powder and lilacs reaching her nose. The house had definitely not smelled like that when she’d left thirty minutes ago.
Every dish had been cleaned up. The dishwasher hummed underneath clean countertops. All the shoes had been put away, and the bags of trash she’d been piling by the door were gone. Glenna’s blanket was nowhere to be found, nor any of her clothes and personal items. The entire bottom floor of Emery’s townhouse looked like it was ready for a realtor to bring prospective buyers through.
She headed upstairs to find the washing machine running and Glenna waiting for her in the bathroom. “Hey.” Emery leaned in the doorway. “Sorry I was gone for so long.”
Glenna gave her a weak smile, the evidence of her tears plain to see on her cheeks. “He’s a great man,” she said. “I never tell you anything, Emery, except thank you. I know me being here is a huge burden for you. Don’t you think I know that?”
Emery knelt in front of her sister. “Don’t say that. I will always be here for you.”
Glenna shook her head. “But you shouldn’t be. You should be with Archer. Run away together, as far away as you can get.”
Emery stared at her. “I could never—”
“But you should.” Glenna’s emphatic enunciation dove into Emery’s eardrums, burrowing deep. Her sister took a long breath. “I don’t know why you think you can’t be with him. He doesn’t understand either. Maybe you don’t even know. But you should figure it out before you lose him. He’s absolutely the best man for you, and you can’t even see it.”
Emery stood, her willingness to be lectured about Archer at a zero. “I’m going to be late, so let’s get you in the shower.”