by Valia Lind
"Let's get started."
I sober up instantly. I've been able to access my water magic twice in the wasteland and neither time it was something I could control. I need to find a way to call on it, like I do my fire, but the usual ways aren't working for me. Even though Derek and I trained at the cabin, it's like I've forgotten how to do all of it. But it doesn't matter. Derek really has thought of everything.
I overheard him and Hannah talking yesterday, and it really was all him. He planned Hannah and Jerome both coming here and made it happen. He's been the one plotting behind everyone's back. I honestly have no idea how to feel about that. But at the moment, I'm grateful.
"When you access your fire magic," Jerome's voice brings me back to attention, "what do you feel?"
"Feel?"
"Yes. Is there a specific emotion that overwhelms you?"
I think about it, going over the times I have called upon it. Then, I do it in front of Jerome, letting the fire ignite in the palm of my hand, before I shake my head.
"Nothing specific. I know this magic, I know the fire will come when call it." He's nodding before I even finish talking.
"I think that's what we focus on today. You getting to know the water magic. Get in."
"I'm sorry, what?"
Jerome points to the fountain again and says, "Get in."
"What do you—“
"Lay down on your back and see if you can float. I want you to be as submerged as you can, and then I need you to feel the water around you and in you. Because you are connected to it, even if you don't know it."
I stare at him for another moment, before I shrug my jacket, boots, and socks off. Left in my t-shirt and leggings, I step into the water, expecting it to be cool. But it's nice. It's a nice lukewarm and when I lay down in it, it feels nice.
Following Jerome's instructions, I let myself float as I close my eyes.
"You know that magic responds to emotion. And you and this new magic have no emotional connection. Besides the few times you've been in danger. So let yourself relax, let yourself feel, and meet the magic inside of you."
My body doesn't hesitate to follow the flow of his words. I don't think about it, don't think about my fire magic. I just give myself over to the water covering my skin and I let it in.
I'm not sure how long I float like this, until Jerome speaks up again.
"Avery, open your eyes."
When I do, there are droplets of water in the air above me and I smile.
Chapter 11
That night, I leave the fae behind and walk out to the back of the house on my own. The illusion bubble reaches a dozen yards past the fountain, and I'm not really going anywhere farther than that. Slowly, I walk over to a dark spot in the grass, and lay down, giving myself time away from the prying eyes of the fae. Because I truly feel like they are watching me twenty-four-seven.
My fingers dig into the earth, connecting with it immediately. The connection I felt in the wasteland hasn't gone away. This Faery is just as connected to me as the future one was. But then again, they are one and the same. And she welcomes me in. Closing my eyes, I trust this moment in time, as I truly relax.
I never feel like I can do that in front of the fae. I always have to have my game face on.
Pretending.
Acting.
Masquerading.
It's becoming second nature to me, and if that isn't the most fae thing, I don't know what is. I want to be better than what I know about them. I guess the books only teach the ruthlessness. Not that my companions haven't done questionable things. But so far, they've mostly been on my side. It's a strange combination of information.
I'm not sure how long I stay like that, just connected to the earth around me, but it refuels me somehow. Finally, I sit up, ready to go inside, when something changes.
The space around me dims, as if someone is turning down the lights, and the shadows play against the backdrop. I get to my feet and spin in place, trying to find the source of the sudden change, and that's when I notice the house is gone.
"Hello, child."
This time, I turn slowly, and when I do, the same robed creature from the previous dream stands but ten feet in front of me. The space round him is even darker, as if he carries his own shadows within him.
"Where am I?"
"Still where you are. Yet, not at all. But we must talk."
Well, that made lots of sense. It's hard not to panic, but I push it down as much as I can. It would do me no good, losing my cool in front of this...creature.
"You have come to Faery. It was unexpected."
"Didn't you want me here?" Maybe I'm braver than I give myself credit for, because the question escapes before I can think too much about it.
"We have many plans for you."
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't.
"That's not cryptic at all," I comment, holding on to every ounce of courage I have in my blood.
"There are forces at play here, much bigger than you can imagine. Your power can open doors that have been shut for generations."
"Yes, I've heard," I mumble.
"There are books, hidden within this land, that even the queen has no knowledge about."
That perks up my attention. Queen Svetlana really makes it seem like she's all knowing. Granted, there are other queens in faery, but I have a feeling the creature speaks about all of them at once.
"Is that why you're here? You want me to find them?"
"We know where they are."
Then it clicks. They know, but they can't get to them.
"They're inside Faery, somewhere you can't get to."
My voice carries a tone of satisfaction and it does not go unnoticed. The creature grows in size in front of me, a menacing growl escaping from inside those robes.
"We are unstoppable and sometime soon, we will be in Faery."
"Then what do you need me for?" My voice shakes just a bit, but it's enough to placate the creature and he shrinks down a little, to appear more...approachable? It's the only reason I see for him to be playing these games. He goes from intimidating to approachable, looking for which one fits more for the situation.
"You can save us time by opening the Faery doors."
It sounds like an afterthought and a command at the same time and it turns my blood cold. The Ancients are more powerful than anything, and I have no doubt they'll break through. But if they're looking to use me, it means they're getting impatient. And that never looks good on anyone, lest a powerful magical entity.
"And if I don't?" I'm terrified of the answer, and have every right to be.
"Then we will do whatever it takes to change your mind."
Just like that, and he's gone. I'm shaking now, the possibilities endless in my mind. The air around me clears and I'm once again standing at the back of the house, but this time, I find no calmness here.
Only horror.
"You're not paying attention," Derek says, his voice low. I glance at him, wiping the sweat from my eyes. We've been outside for about thirty minutes, and I'm already exhausted. Granted, I woke up exhausted because I barely slept. The visit from the Ancients has left me completely unbalanced. Clearly, they appear only to me and don't break any barriers or sound any alarms, because no one even noticed.
"I'm doing the best I can."
"Then do better."
I narrow my eyes at him and his tone. He's been standoffish the moment we got to Hannah's and I'm sick of it.
"How about you do better? Better at explaining what you want me to do? Better at treating me like a normal human being?"
"You're not normal."
"No duh."
I'm angry and I'm taking it out on him. Mentally, I know this. But emotionally, I would like to punch him. Which is perfect since he's trying to teach me hand to hand combat. Even though we've done this before, I need way more practice than I'd like to admit.
Twice we've been in a hand to hand battle and I was pretty much useless. Yes,
I have my magic...when it works. But that's not going to help if it decides to fritz on me. Which I absolutely cannot afford, considering the Ancients are now making indirect threats toward my family. Because of course they are. Why wouldn't they? They will do whatever it takes to reach their goal and I should take some notes on their tenacity.
"Avery."
"What?"
"You're doing it again."
I drop my hands to my hips and face Derek head on. In turn, he folds his arms over his chest, his muscles bulging, but I won't be swayed. We stare at each other for a long moment, and I swear I can hear the air around us electrify. There I go again with my romantic notions. I need to stop thinking anything remotely close to romance when it comes to this fae, but there's just something about him.
Focus, Avery.
Focus.
Focus.
"Doing what exactly?" I finally ask, raising an eyebrow.
"You're a hundred miles away. You have to be present. If you're not, it's easy to sneak up on you."
Just then, Julian appears from seemingly nowhere, grabbing me around the middle. But while I'm not completely present, I'm present enough. I'm ready for him, and when his arms come up, I drop my whole body backwards, taking him off balance. When we land, I hear a loud whoosh, and I deliver another blow to the stomach with my elbow, before I roll of him and jump to my feet.
"I think she's good," Julian says from the floor, rubbing a hand over his stomach. I grin down at the fae, pleased with my success.
"Agree to disagree," Derek mumbles and my head jerks up in his direction. The feeling of success evaporates as I narrow my eyes on him.
"Anyone ever tell you positive reinforcement works better than negative?"
"No, actually they haven't." His response is so quick and bitter that it stops me for a moment. I glance at Julian, as Derek turns away, and the other fae jumps to his feet, before giving me a little shrug and leaving. I turn back to Derek, watching the muscles in his back tense under my gaze. He reaches for a cup of water, taking a swig.
Since we left the palace, I feel like Derek has been showing more and more of his true colors. Even going as far as opening up, without actually opening up. Like right now. One sentence, and it tells me so much.
"Let's try something else," I say, because I know he won't take well to me offering any sympathy right now. I'm not supposed to notice his response to my question. That much is true no matter what male I'm talking to. It's a universal character trait.
"Like what?" Derek turns back around, ready to focus on business once again.
"I've been training with Jerome on my water magic. Maybe we can combine the two? I have to learn how to do that eventually."
"I don't think you're ready for that yet. Your magic is still unpredictable and your fighting skills are basic at best."
"Wow, you sure know how to make a girl swoon," I roll my eyes, as he gives me a confused look. Sometimes fae and their honesty is just a little bit too much. But instead of getting offended, I push.
"Maybe so, but I won't learn until you teach me. And you won't teach me until we try it, so it's a vicious circle and that means we should try it."
"What exactly do you have in mind?" He hasn't agreed, but he's not arguing, so I take that as a good sign.
"I'm thinking Jerome attacks with water, while you attack with a sword, and we'll see if I can keep you both at bay."
"That sounds dangerous."
"Okay, great. Then we're doing it," I don't wait for him to voice any other concerns as I bounce toward the house, and yell into the open doorway for Jerome to come outside. He's there a minute later, looking between the two of us.
"What's going on?"
"I need you to attack me with your element, while Derek tries to attack me with a weapon." I announce, grinning.
"Should she look this happy about this? Should you look this happy about this?" Jerome glances between Derek and I.
"Yes, absolutely. I need to know how much I've learned and practice applying it."
When I put it like that, the guys have no reason to argue. Julian and Hannah are now at the back door, watching us curiously. But all of my attention is on the guys in front of me. I have absolutely no idea if this will work, but I have to try. The anger I was feeling earlier about the Ancients, and my own lack of progress, fuels me. Granted, I know this isn't how a real battle will go, but I need to know if I can handle the assault from both sides.
Derek picks up his sword, swinging it a couple of times around his body. I glance back at Hannah one more time, but there's no expression on her face. Julian, however, looks a little worried.
The fae don't give me any warning. Suddenly, a wave of water rushes out straight out of the ground, sweeping me off my feet. I land hard, but I'm quick to get back up. Derek attacks at the same time, swinging his sword at me. I dodge out of the way, reaching for my magic at the same time.
Another wave comes, but I hold it at bay, before grabbing Jerome's water and flinging it at Derek. It slams right into his face, disorienting him enough for me to land a kick. I'm going for the sword, but that doesn't budge. Jerome blasts water at my back, pushing me forward, and I'm falling before I can catch myself. I twist around, just before I hit the ground, landing on my back. Derek is there, his sword swinging downward and I thrust my hands in front of me, creating a water shield. His sword slams into it, and stops.
Happy with myself, I push the whole thing at him, as I get to my feet, when Jerome sends another water blast at me. I know the moment something goes wrong. My magic shifts, wanting to protect from the back, slacking on the shield I created at the front. The momentum of Jerome's blast carries me forward, instead of back and when I fly through my own water shield the thing that stops me is Derek's sword.
It rams right into my right arm, before either of us could do anything. I scream, dropping to my knees, and Derek is instantly beside me.
“I’m—Avery—I'm so sorry." He keeps repeating it over and over, as the pain brings in the darkness. I feel myself fading, while the fae rush around me. It makes me want to chuckle, so human they're acting at this moment, genuine concern and worry on their faces.
"Avery, I'm so sorry."
“Wasn’t—your—fault," I mumble, right before the world goes black.
Chapter 12
When I open my eyes, I'm in a bed. Not the bed in the room Hannah gave me as my own. This one a little more like what I remember the palace to look like. I turn my head, glancing down at my arm. It's been bandaged from my shoulder halfway down past my elbow. It's completely stiff and I can't move it.
"You're awake."
I glance up to find Derek standing at the foot of the bed. At first, I think I'm imagining him, but then he step towards me and into the light. His face is pale, like a human would look after a bad case of food poisoning. And his face is completely stoic. I realize this must be his room and that brings a wave of mixed emotions.
"How long was I out?"
"About a day."
That makes me sit up a little farther, and Derek is there in a flash, to help me as I do. He moves the pillows at my back, as I use my left arm to push myself up. His face is only a few inches away, and the desire to touch him almost overwhelms me. Instead, I grip the sheet beneath my fingertip, as I settle back against the pillows.
"You cut me. I shouldn't have been out so long."
"I pierced right through your arm with a fae blade. It wouldn't come straight out. We had to—extract it." Which means they probably had to cut a bigger hole in me, in order to do so. The hesitation in his voice is the only sign of emotion. He's completely shut down, much like when I first met him many moons ago in Arizona. Immediately, I miss the fae I've gotten to know since then.
"You could've died."
The words are barely whispered and there he is. He's not meeting my eye now, as if too ashamed to do so and I raise my hand towards him, palm out. Glancing up, he stares at it as if it's a foreign object, before placing his ow
n in it. I wrap my fingers around his, and tug him down on the bed. He sits down carefully, as if he's afraid he's going to hurt me more somehow.
"That wasn't your fault," I say, my words sure and strong. His eyes meet mine, and he studies me like he's trying to figure out how much truth is in my statement. I roll my eyes at him, and he furrows his brow in confusion.
"I know I'm not full fae and don't have that whole 'truth only' rule, but I am speaking the truth."
"I should've been able to stop it."
"How? Plus, it wasn't your idea in the first place."
"Exactly," he moves to stand, but I grab onto his arm, keeping him in place. His skin is hot under my touch, and he stares at the spot for a moment, before looking up again.
"I was bound to get hurt eventually, Derek. I know that's not exactly comforting, but I can't learn if I don't try."
"There has to be another way."
"There isn't. My next lesson with this might very well be an actual fight, with actual bad guys, and more magic and more weapons. I would be a liability, and I won't be that again."
"You're not."
"But I am." I sigh, because even as I'm talking to him, I'm realizing a lot of these things for myself. Maybe I already knew them, but saying them out loud is making them more real. "Everything about me is a liability. I can't control my magic, the elemental aspects of it. And now, I can't control the faery magic either. I need to be able to access it and understand it, because I can't keep relying on chance. Which is what happened in that forest."
"I don't think you give yourself enough credit."
"I think I gave myself too much. Between lesson with Jerome on elemental magic, and history with Hannah. You and Julian teaching me fighting, I feel like I don't know anything." I stop, taking a deep breath, because I don't want to cry in front of him.
"My whole life I prided myself in my education. It's what I did best, learn. Now, I feel like that whole time I've learned nothing. I'm completely blind in this situation and I have no grounding point to help me find my footing. I can't be babied or protected. I have to do the work."