by Cara Wylde
I blinked. What did I just… My brain had troubles processing that GC was a man just a few moments before, then he shifted into a bull and ran into the forest.
“Show-off,” spat Paz. He sat down and took a swig from GC’s flask, which he’d left on the ground.
“Okay, who’s next?” asked Sariel.
The archangel studied me for a moment but looked away when I tried to catch his gaze. Just his usual, strange self. I shrugged and resumed by attempt to make myself small and insignificant.
“Francis? Care to share something?”
Francis shook his head, and Sariel left him alone. If it had been literally anyone else, I knew he’d have insisted.
“Pazuzu?”
“Fuck you, man. Why don’t you go next?”
Paz certainly wasn’t in a good mood. And now he was avoiding my gaze, too. As if I’d done something wrong, something that had offended him deeply. Well, it wasn’t my damn fault that GC had taken off his underwear and his dick did happen to be quite impressive! Not that I was going to do anything about that… It was just an observation.
“How about our one and only trash princess?”
I could feel the hate in his voice. I shook my head, just like Francis had done earlier, but it had no effect on Sariel.
“Tell us about yourself. Come one, kuchka, this is your chance to make us like you.” He grinned, and I knew it was all bullshit. Everything that came out of his mouth was bullshit.
“I don’t want you to like me,” I whispered, and finished my Cuba Libre, hoping the rum would give me some much-needed courage.
“Oh, you don’t? Too bad. Your life would be easier.”
“I doubt that,” I murmured. Since the night he’d threatened me and spilled my food all over the floor, I felt like my voice didn’t work quite the same when he was around. I’d stood up for myself then, and it had only made things worse. It was painful to admit it, but I was afraid of Sariel. GC and Paz annoyed me, Francis mystified me, but the archangel legit terrified me.
“We don’t have all night,” he insisted. “Share something about yourself. Now. Or you’ll regret it.”
I sighed. I looked around me, but no one seemed to be willing to step up and defend me. For the first time ever, I wished GC had been here. At least, he liked me enough to want to fuck me, and that was, in this moment, better than the scorn I felt coming from the VDC guys. Paz was angry because I’d dared to look at GC’s cock, which… come on!... had been impossible to avoid. And Francis… was just Francis. I couldn’t read him. Maybe he really wanted to hear what I had to say and that was why he wasn’t putting a stop to Sariel’s crappy attitude.
“I… I don’t know what to share,” I started. “My parents are Bulgarian, they immigrated to the US when I wasn’t even born. They… err… own a diner. I help them run it, sometimes. I mean, when I don’t have school.”
“Bla bla bla.” Sariel rolled his eyes. “That’s boring, and we know the story of your life already.”
“You do?”
He smiled meanly. “We have our ways.”
Mages. Lorna, for sure. I gulped. What exactly did they know about me? How much? I instinctively pulled at the wristbands I’d put over my long-sleeved blue shirt until they covered my fingers. I could never be safe enough, and my wristbands had never betrayed me. I was wearing my uniform blazer and a pair of black leggings that were of better quality than what I usually owned and didn’t show how old they were.
“Quit sulking,” Sariel said, sounding bored now. “It was inevitable, and you know it. Now, share something we don’t know.”
He wasn’t going to let this go, was he? I was trapped. I couldn’t tell them about my parents, about my childhood, about my old school… It was all too sad and dull. It all proved how human I was.
“Okay, let me think.” I had to make something up. Or not. If I lied, they would probably be able to tell. Lorna wasn’t here, but I was pretty sure, if I remembered well, that the brown-haired guy sitting next to me was a mage, too. He would be more than happy to tell Sariel I was lying if that got him into his good graces. “A dream,” I tried, and when no one stopped me, I continued. “I had a dream once. Not just any kind of dream. A lucid dream.” Did Sariel just tense a little? Francis was now watching me closely, curiosity dancing in his mossy green eyes, and even Paz had put his cup down. Really? The mention of a lucid dream had gotten their attention? “It started silly. I was dating a guy then, we’d had a fallout, I was angry at him, and in my dream, I was walking on these dark, foggy back alleys. I was looking for something. Out of the blue, these men in black suits appeared from behind every corner, and they had knives. They started throwing knives at me, but it was like I knew they weren’t actually aiming for me. When I looked back, I saw my boyfriend with a bunch of knives stuck in his chest. And that was when I woke up inside the dream.”
I paused for a moment. Wow! I hadn’t thought about this dream in a long, long time. I’d had it years ago, and this was the first time I realized that, maybe, being sorted into the Violent Death Cabal wasn’t a mistake. I hadn’t told anyone, not even my best friend from back them, but my boyfriend had hit me. Nothing too horrible, just a slap across the face, but that had caused our fallout. And, oh my God, that night I dreamed that men in black suits were throwing knives at him! If that didn’t describe my subconscious as violent, then I don’t know what did.
“Anyway, as I told you, it started out stupid. But I woke up, not for real, not in the real world…” I looked around me to make sure my blabbering hadn’t confused them. Sariel, Paz, and Francis seemed completely entranced by now. “I was angry. I knew I was inside a dream, my dream, and I knew that my boyfriend, with all those knives stuck in his chest, wasn’t real. And then I... I don’t know. I guess I addressed the dream itself. As if my dream was a person. I called it, and it appeared as this shy, chubby man, who apologized for having displeased me. And I told him: ‘You are my dream. You can do better than this. What is this? So fucking obvious. Men throwing knives? Seriously? Did your muse die or something? You’re my dream, I’m a pretty inspired person, and you’re just disappointing me right now. Do better.’ Yeah… like, I lectured my dream, and the dream wasn’t just… a concept, or… something you can’t see or touch. It was an actual guy.”
I paused and waited for the inevitable burst of laughter. It didn’t come. Paz was holding his jaw in his hand, listening to my every word, Francis was sipping his drink from time to time, trying to make as little noise as possible, and even Sariel had his brows furrowed in deep concentration. Well, okay.
“The chubby guy apologized and asked me to give him a second chance. I agreed, and he told me to follow him. He took me to this beautiful, old antique shop, I went in, and he introduced me to a tall, elegant woman who told me she was the Keeper. The chubby guy left, and I let the Keeper show me around.”
“And during all this time, you were lucid,” Paz said. It wasn’t a question. He wanted to make sure.
“Yes. In reality, I was asleep in my bed, and I was dreaming. But at the same time, I knew I was dreaming, and I had full control of my actions. Everything I was doing and saying, it was all me. The real me. Not the dream.”
He nodded. “Go on.”
“This antique shop was incredible! The walls were covered in shelves from top to bottom, and the shelves held old, luxuriously bound books, jewels, expensive clothes, bottles of perfumes, hand mirrors… It was insane! And everything looked ancient, yet well-preserved. Precious stones, gold, silver… anything ancient and expensive you can think of, it was there. In the middle of the room, there was a round table. When I looked closer, I saw that the objects displayed on it were, in fact, buildings in miniature. They were from different eras. Not only houses with gardens and pools, but also roads, and… well… graves.”
“Graves?” Francis shifted uncomfortably, as if he’d been sitting in the same position for too long.
“Yeah, graves.
Dozens of imposing, beautifully decorated graves. And they all seemed so real. Like the original houses and gardens and everything had been shrunk, so they could be displayed on this table. I turned to the Keeper and asked her: ‘What are all these things? These places?’ And she told me: ‘They all belonged to you. Everything you see here was yours in your past lives. Those were the houses you lived in, the roads you walked, and those are your graves.’ I was astonished. But, for some reason, it all made sense. I asked her if I could touch the jewels and the clothes, and she said yes. After all, they were all mine. I had accumulated them over dozens of past lives. So, I started trying things on, using the perfumes, going through the books. I was like… wow! Impressed at how many things I had accomplished. Looking at all the things and going around the room, I reached the wall on the right, and I saw that those shelves were empty. There were just two old, normally looking notebooks. And I asked the Keeper: ‘Why are these shelves empty?’ She told me: ‘Because you have to fill them up with things you achieve in your current life.’ And that was when I felt… devastated. Like, completely broken. ‘This is your last life as a human, and you have to fill these shelves before you move on.’ And that was when I started crying. Ugly crying.”
Was it just me, or had Paz just shivered a bit? He was a demon, he couldn’t possibly feel the cold. Although, it had gotten a bit too chilly, all of a sudden. Strange, but it seemed like the campfire couldn’t quite fight the cold night air any longer. I wrapped my arms around myself and moved closer to the flames. A few of the VDC guys did the same.
“And then what?” Sariel asked.
I shrugged. “I cried and cried until I woke up. For real.”
“Why were you so… broken?” asked Francis.
“You know. Because I’d apparently achieved so many great things in my past lives, and now…” I shrugged again, as if it was obvious, so why were they making me say it out loud? “I’m eighteen and I haven’t done shit. Except be born. There were precious stones, and crowns, and villas in that antique shop. Some of the graves looked like queens were buried there. How can I possibly fill those empty shelves with… this life?”
“What’s wrong with this life?” Francis spoke again. “You’ll be a Grim Reaper. The first human Grim Reaper in history. That must count for something. Two hundred years of reaping must fill some of those shelves.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Francis was… supporting me? Actually supporting me?! And he was so confident about it. So confident that I’d graduate and become a Grim Reaper, when not even Klaus had said it out loud. Not even Patty, and I knew she cared about me. I could almost cry. Ugly cry, like I’d done in that lucid dream.
“She won’t become a Grim Reaper if she doesn’t become a true member of the Violent Death Cabal first,” Sariel said as he stood up. “Come, trash princess who can lucid dream. Let’s turn you into a real VDC homie.”
I blinked in confusion. Was this a joke? Was he trying to pull something nasty again? It seemed like it, because the other VDC guys looked just as surprised as I was.
Sariel noticed and, with an annoyed sigh, proceeded to explain himself. “My great-granddad was a Grim Reaper. He was in the VDC, too. After he retired, he told me all kinds of stories from back when he attended the Academy. It’s not enough that the test sorted us into the Violent Death Cabal. We have to prove our worth. I’ve been thinking these days, and I figured it out. We don’t feel like we belong together because we don’t.” He smiled, and for a second there, I felt like that could be his real smile. I couldn’t be sure, though. I could never be sure with Sariel. “It’s a full moon, we’re in the forest, so this is perfect. Let’s do it.”
Everyone stood up, ready to do as Sariel said. It was like they didn’t even care what he was going to ask of them. They were going to do it just because the archangel had, supposedly, heard it from his great-grandfather, the Grim Reaper. I stayed put.
“Follow me.” Sariel turned around and headed deeper into the forest, where GC had disappeared earlier. A few steps in, he felt something wasn’t right, and he turned around. “Mila, this is your first and last chance to belong. Are you going to sit on your ass?”
I didn’t know what it was. The fact that he’d called me by my name for the first time, or the fact that he’d implied I was a coward? I didn’t know. I would never know.
“No.”
I stood up and followed Sariel.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The twin cliffs. I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to see them again. Sariel stopped at the edge of the cliff we were on and looked in the distance, at the second cliff. The ocean was raging between them, waves crashing on the rocks below.
“Beautiful view, isn’t it?” he said to no one in particular. “But we’re headed that way.” He pointed west, along the edge of the cliff, then started walking.
As I followed him and the rest of the VDC, I threw one last glance over the cliff. A chill ran up my spine. I made sure I was last in line, letting all the guys walk before me, thinking that if things went south for whatever reason, and this turned out to be just another of Sariel’s cruel pranks, I could vanish into the forest and head back to the Academy before they realized I wasn’t there anymore.
“Here. This is a good spot. Mila, come!”
My heart jumped. He’d called me Mila again. Why did I like hearing my name come from his lips so much? If he’d called me kuchka or trash princess, I wouldn’t have gone. But he hadn’t. He’d called me Mila, and I felt compelled. I wanted to know what had made him change his attitude toward me. Was it the dream? It made no sense.
I stepped next to him and looked over the edge. The ocean was calm here, the full moon reflecting in the dark, deep water. Sariel turned to face the VDC, and the guys all formed a semi-circle around us. Paz and Francis were waiting, just as curious as the others. GC hadn’t joined us, still. He was probably somewhere in the forest, running around, chasing wild animals that were smaller than him, having the time of his life.
“Who’s ready for a swim? You all better be, because only those who jump over this edge and into the freezing water below will truly belong to the Violent Death Cabal.”
“Are you fucking crazy?” The words left my mouth before I could censor myself.
“No. But are you fucking scared?” he grinned at me. His perfect, white teeth looked eerie in the dark. “Don’t tell me you never learned how to swim.”
“I know how to swim.”
“Good. There’s no danger at all, really. There’s a beach below. You can’t see it from here.”
I looked over at Francis, and he nodded. Okay, that made me feel slightly better. Still, it was the end of September. The water was probably as cold as… well, not hell, because hell was hot. As cold as death?
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
Sariel shrugged, as if he couldn’t give a shit. “Suit yourself. I know we’re all going to jump, and if you don’t, then at least it will finally be official. You don’t belong in the Violent Death Cabal.”
I let out a deep sigh. “No one is going to…”
A dark-haired guy removed his jacket, shirt, boots, and socks in a rush, and I just stood there, not quite believing my eyes. He was going to jump. What was his name, anyway? I couldn’t remember… Raziel? An angel, if I remembered well. We all moved out of his way, and when he ran toward the edge and jumped, he didn’t spread his wings. I could see the long slits down his back, and I knew his wings were tucked in, underneath skin and muscle. Moments later, there was a splash, and when I looked down, I saw him rising to the surface, wiping the water out of his eyes. He waved at us and started swimming toward the beach, soon disappearing from view.
“See? That wasn’t hard,” Sariel smirked. “Raziel! VDC!”
They all chanted his name three times, and then it was someone else’s turn to jump. Some stripped down to their underwear, others kept their pants on. A demon said it should be a piece of cake because hi
s skin couldn’t feel the cold. I stole a glance at Pazuzu. Interesting. Now that I thought about it, Paz, the demon who was about to jump, and another guy were the only ones who weren’t wearing jackets. Now it all made sense.
They jumped one by one, until only Sariel, Paz, Francis, and I were left on top of the cliff. Every time someone made it into the water, they would all chant his name three times. The guys who were on the beach below chanted, too.
“Your turn,” Sariel said.
“I don’t think so.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “You’ve already seen it’s safe.”
“Yeah, well… you’re all supernatural and shit. You don’t feel the cold.” Maybe I was exaggerating. Or maybe, I truly was mildly worried that my heart would stop the second my body hit the freezing water.
“Are you VDC, or are you a coward?” His voice changed. He sounded dark and serious, as if he wanted to warn me that my answer would define my fate. “What are you? Who are you, human? Are you the girl from the dream who’s crying because her life is sad and pathetic, or are you a future Grim Reaper?” A grin tugged at the corners of his lips, although his somber demeanor didn’t falter one bit. “Are you the first human Grim Reaper in history?”
I gulped. I looked at Paz and Francis, trying to divine what they thought about this whole thing, but they were impenetrable. Paz was just standing there, bulky arms crossed over his chest. He avoided my gaze and kicked a rock into the water. Eventually, Francis shrugged, which was, basically, his way of saying “yeah, I see nothing wrong with this.”