by Marie , J
Jett shook his head, “Not a word. Was mighty suspicious though. Couldn’t seem to tell me who he was or why he was here. Can’t say I’ve ever met him before, but something about him was familiar.”
I nodded taking in the information, “Guy ask anything else?”
He shook his head, “Not much, just that he had something to talk to Cassidy Mae about and was looking for her.” He stopped talking and looked me right in the eye. “Beau, you’re gonna keep my little girl safe at that big ol’ farm of yours?”
“Yes sir, between myself, my boys, and my sister there’s no way someone’s gonna get to her. She’s safe as can be. We tried talking her into talking to the sheriff but she refused. Can’t make that girl do anything she don’t want to.”
He chuckled and nodded his head. “That’s the damn truth.”
“Jett, can I have your promise not to tell Cassidy Mae what’s going on? I wanna see if this jerk talked to anyone else in town before I tell her what’s going on. She’s already nervous anytime people bring him up. So, I’d rather not scare her off if I don’t have to do so.”
“Lips are sealed, son. Let me know what you find out. Need to make sure my little girl’s safe.” He stood up and shook my hand as I did the same.
“Hey, Beau?” My eyes found Cassidy’s mothers.
“Ma’am?”
“Cassidy Mae needs a good man like you. You keep her safe and show her that love isn’t supposed to be cruel.”
“Yes, ma’am. I intend to do just that.” With a smile and a head nod, I turned to leave, placing my empty glass on the coffee table coaster. “Thank ya for the cold tea. It’s much appreciated.”
As I stepped out the front door, that same SUV we’d just been discussin’ was drivin’ by. It slowed just enough to know that whoever was inside was checking us out and then sped off again. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I didn’t know why they were here or what their plans were but there was no way anyone was getting close to my woman. As much as I wanted to speed off and chase down this guy, I needed to remain calm and stick to my plan. Stop in town and ask around.
As I parked my black Ford in one of the empty spots along the road, I noticed all the red, white, and blue decorations. They’d been planning for the fourth of July for a while now. It always made me laugh. Everybody had been outside putting up flags and it had been a full day of activities. Our town took group decoratin’ to a whole new level.
Our town florist was attempting to hang some sort of banner outside her shop window when I approached. “Howdy, Orly. How’re things going in town today?” A surprised look quickly turned into a friendly smile.
She set down the banner she was fixin’ to hang. “Oh, not much Beau. Just getting ready for the festivities later this week. Heard things at the stables been busy. What brings you out today?”
“Well, I was meanin’ to ask if anybody been asking around town ‘bout Miss Cassidy Mae?”
Orly looked up at the sky like she’d truly been thinking about it before she replied, “Now that you mention it. Was a fella here a couple of days ago asking ‘bout her being back in town. Didn’t tell him nothing though. He had a funny way about him that put me off. Figured he was bad news six ways from Sunday.”
“He drivin’ a black SUV around?”
She nodded as she leaned down to pick up the banner she’d set down earlier. “Sure is. Stopped by here and stopped by Carl’s too. Don’t think he said nothing about her either. You know how we take care of our own here, Beau.”
“I appreciate that, Orly. You needin’ some help with that banner?”
“I’d sure like a hand if you don’t mind.” I grabbed the other side of the banner, realizing that it was indeed another fourth of July banner. I chuckled to myself as we tacked it into the side of the building and stood admiring from afar.
“Well, that’s right about perfect. Thank ya kindly.”
Just as we’d finished checking it out a raindrop covered my cheek. Looking upwards I’d noticed the sky had turned a dark, luminous color. Summer storms were never a good thing. “I best be getting back to the farm now. You have a good evening.”
I sat and stared out the window, watching the rain come down outside. My mind was spinning in circles over everything that had passed between Beau and I the last couple of times we’d talked. I still couldn’t believe I’d shared all of that heartache about losing the baby. He’d held me so close and made sure I knew he was there for me in all of it.
A strong hand on my lower back.
A caress of my cheek.
A kiss on my forehead.
I’d known Beau Montgomery would sweep me off my feet but this was a whole other level of swoon. You only read about this type of man in romance novels and here I was witnessing it in real life.
The rain outside was a downpour and I felt the effects in my soul. It was dark and heavy with emotion. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. Scared? Heck yes. I knew I wanted to be with Beau but for some reason, I couldn’t get over the nagging in the back of my mind that said something bad was coming. I didn’t want to think about it.
I’d come to the determination that I couldn’t sit in this room any longer and let my thoughts cloud my brain. I pulled open the door and retreated to the living room. The TV was already on and Reagan was planted in front of it on the couch. I took a moment to look over the living room.
I hadn’t taken much notice of everything. It had a rustic cowboy theme. Red leather couches made up the center of the room and a fire was burning brightly in the stone fireplace trailing up the wall. Two side tables sat at the end of each couch with a wooden carved light on each. The ceiling had exposed wood beams that stood proudly above us by about fifteen feet. Canvases with horses lined the walls and horseshoes acted as car key hangers on the wall by the front door. The coffee table was handmade and had been intricately carved with stampeding horses and held a beautiful centerpiece of candles. The carvings on the coffee table must have been handcrafted by the same person that created the end table lights.
Everything in the room made me feel like home. I still felt guilty being here. I was finally fitting in and I was starting to enjoy my life again. I wanted to be brave and give Beau more, but I told myself one day at a time. One step at a time.
The Montgomery house was a rather large cabin and you could tell that someone had spent a good amount of time making it a home. I wondered if his grandfather had built this home with his own hands?
Little touches here and there made me think of my own parents. Their house would never be this fancy, but I remember how much time they put into making our much smaller house a home. I’d kept my promise to Mama after I’d moved out to call her nightly and I could tell that she wanted more, but I still wasn’t ready for more. Maybe, eventually.
“You just gonna stand there gawkin’ or you gonna join me on the couch?” Reagan was looking at me like I’d lost my marbles and some days I truly thought I had.
“Scoot over, loser. My butt’s bigger than that.”
“Pssshhhhh… we all know you have the nicest butt around. Just ask my brother, he’d verify it sooner than you can swat a horse fly.” My face blushed a crimson red in embarrassment.
I’ll admit Beau and I had gotten to know each other better the last couple of days but I still didn’t want to hear about him thinking my butt was delectable from his sister. Although, it was nice to feel desired even if it wasn’t coming directly from him.
My eyes drifted to the clock on the wall. “Speaking of, where is that brother of yours?”
“Well, he said he had some errands to run in town but that was a couple of hours ago. He should’ve been back by now.” He’s never this late. Right as I started to get worried, headlights flashed at us through the front window.
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” she said laughing. I shook my head. Beau Montgomery was far from the devil unless of course, you were talking about a handsome devil. Then, yes. He was definitely th
e devil.
I watched as he ran through the rain from his truck and I ran to the front door to open it for him.
“Hey darlin’, he said with a soft kiss to my cheek. “You happy to see me?”
The blush that had disappeared just a minute ago was back in full force. I ran to him automatically and I was really questioning what the hell was going on with me. I told myself that I couldn’t be with him yet and then I pulled a stunt like that. I had to wonder if my heart and head were confused about what we wanted. But I knew the answer to that.
“Maybe a little,” I said shyly. He picked me up and swung me around before holding me tight for a hug. I squealed in shock, but I couldn’t help but admit how much I liked being in his arms. I felt safe. He set me back on my feet again and I immediately felt the loss of his warmth against my skin. I didn’t like it one bit and that right there told me I was already in way too deep now. I wasn’t coming out unscathed. I was in this thing.
“I’m starving. What’d y’all have for dinner? Please tell me there are some leftovers?” Memories of the first night Andrew verbally abused me hit like a boulder. My breath caught in my throat as I remembered his words, cold as ice. “Where’s my food? You should’ve had it ready when I got here… I deserve more than leftovers.” An intense wave of fear flooded me. The room started to spin and I felt like I was going to throw up
“Cassidy Mae… baby? Darlin’ what’s wrong?” He was talking to me. I could hear him, but there was a fog.
“What’s going on?” He asked Reagan as he tried to figure out why I’d just dropped out of nowhere. I was shaking. My throat was closing up and my heart threatened to pound out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe. They were too close to me. I had to get away. I started scooting on my butt backwards as fast as I could go.
“Beau, think about it? What did you just say? Do you remember her saying anything about a missed dinner? Think bro… think…” Reagan shook Beau’s shoulders. I didn’t hear the words, but I knew they were talking about me. My world was crashing down. Spinning. “Shit… I mentioned being hungry and wanting dinner. The night she told him she was pregnant… He came home late and dinner wasn’t ready like he wanted… I screwed up Reagan. What do I do?”
“Help her.” He walked slowly towards me. My breathing was still erratic and I was still trembling all over. I hadn’t had a panic attack in a while but I knew these were the signs of one.
“Breathe, Cass. Come on darlin’… that’s it, slow breaths.” He took both of my hands and started raising and lowering them which was weird but was actually starting to help me.
“Ok, Cass. Name five things around you. The first five things you see. Come on, you can do it.” I was scattered, but I wanted to do what he asked. I looked around the room.
“TV.”
“Good, that’s good. What’s another, Cassidy?”
“Couch.”
“Good. Another. Three more darlin’.”
My eyes scoured the room. “Horseshoes.”
“Three. Two more darlin’. That’s it.”
Think. “Coffee table.”
“Four, can you do one more for me, babe?”
“Beau…”
“Okay, babe. Shhh… I’m here. Good, that’s good, Cass.”
I didn’t realize it while he was talking to me but my breath had started to slow down and I didn’t feel like my heart was threatening to pound out of my chest again. He slowly ran his hand through my hair and started massaging the back of my neck. He was calming me.
As soon as I could breathe again, mortification crept through my veins. I hadn’t realized how embarrassing it was until just now. I’d had a panic attack in front of my two best friends. My eyes immediately found the floor. I couldn’t believe I’d shown them how weak I really was with just a few little words.
I couldn’t look into their eyes and see the pity that was probably written across their faces. I felt fingers gently touch my chin and lift. I shook my head not wanting to look.
“Hey, look at me.” His voice was as smooth as butter as he whispered to me. And I couldn’t resist. My eyes found his chocolate ones filled with so much concern and what I could only assume was love.
“Don’t hide from me, Cassidy Mae. You have no reason to be embarrassed. We’ve all been there. You’ve been through something that most people wouldn’t dream of dealing with in this lifetime and you survived. So, don’t you dare feel like you can’t show us everything.”
I nodded because that’s all I could do. Once again, I’d fallen apart in front of Beau. One of these days he was going to realize that I was a complete and total mess.
“I’m such a mess…”.
“Well darlin’ you may be a mess, but you’re my perfect mess and I wouldn’t want anyone else. Tell you what… we’ll be a mess together if you want because, babe, I’m a mess whenever it comes to you. You’ve messed me up. You’re in my head. You’re in my heart. You’ve gone and messed up my whole dang world, sweetheart, but it’s the best kind of mess.”
“God, there you go again with all that swoon. I honestly don’t know how you do it.” My erratic heartbeat had turned into a pitter-patter and if I didn’t think you could die from my heart skipping a beat, I’d think it did.
The repulsion on Reagan’s face was almost priceless and I had to laugh. “Jeez, you just gush out the cheese, don’t ya brother? I think I threw up just a tiny bit in my mouth… I’m gonna be brushing that out for a week.”
“Oh, grow up. One day you’re gonna be prancing around with some boy toy attached at the hip and we’re gonna have to live through that so…” She smacked him on the shoulder and walked away. Beau helped me off the floor and over to the couch so I could relax. Reagan came up behind me with a freshly made sandwich and handed it over to Beau.
“Here, eat.”
“Thanks, Rea,” He said with a wink.
“Yeah, yeah…”
“So…” He said, picking up the remote. “Whatcha watching?” She flopped down onto the couch on his other side and grabbed for the remote.
“I was watching that ya doofus. Give me the remote and I won’t tell Cassidy Mae how you used to dream about her.”
“Bold, little sister…” Beau looked up at the TV to see what show was playing. “Threats over The Bachelor… really, Rea?”
“Yes, that’s right Beau. Some of us enjoy watching twenty-five ladies fight to the death over one man. So much drama. It makes my soul happy.”
“You do realize how sick and twisted that makes you sound, right? I seriously wouldn’t tell people that these things run through your brain.” She smacked him yet again on the shoulder and huffed as Beau kept hold of the remote, changing the channel on the TV immediately. We flipped through the channels for a good five minutes before landing on a Christmas in July Hallmark Special.
We all settled back on the couch. I curled right into Beau’s side; my feet tucked under me. One arm slid down from the back of the couch and held me snuggly to him. With the other, he finished eating the sandwich Rea had made for him. I could have fallen asleep right then and there.
I was amazed at how okay I’d become with the physical contact. We still hadn’t kissed, but I realized he was waiting for me to ask him and as much as my body said yes, my head still said no. I was still holding back from him, but I really liked him. Like really, really liked him. It scared me and that tiny voice in the back of my head still whispered that I’d never be good enough for a great man like Beau Montgomery. Even though I wanted to be enough for him.
He caught me gazing up at him. “What’s going through that pretty head of yours, sweetheart?” I leaned up and looked around him at Reagan, who was now completely passed out snoring. It didn’t take her long at all. I wanted to tell him things, but I felt like what I was about to say should just be between the two of us.
“Do you ever think about what it would’ve been like if things had been different? If I hadn’t gone away to school and fallen for Andrew?” He stroked
over my shoulder, fingertips drifting up and down my arm.
“No need to think about it darlin’. I know we’d be sitting right here doing the same thing. Cuddled up on this couch in love as any two people can be. I know we’re not there yet, Cass, but I can feel it in my bones. We’ll get there soon enough.”
“Do you think it would’ve taken us this long to get together?”
“Nah, I think if I’d gotten up the courage to ask, you would’ve said yes and we’d still be together. You’d have graduated college and I would be here running this ranch.”
“Pretty confident there, buddy…”
“I tell you what. I’ll have enough confidence for the both of us.”
“That sounds good to me.” I snuggled back in close to him, enjoying his warmth.
“Hey, Cassidy Mae?”
“Yeah?” I peeked up at him from the comfort of his arm.
“Would you go to the fireworks with me this week?”
I raised my hand to my chest in shock, “Beau Montgomery, are you asking me on a proper date, in public?”
“Suppose I am. What do ya say?” I didn’t have to think about it. I knew the answer.
“Yes.” I breathed and he leaned down to kiss my forehead.
“Are you ever gonna kiss me here?” I pointed to my lips as my tongue reached out to touch my bottom lip.
“You bet your sweet ass I’m going to, sweetheart, just waiting for the perfect moment. That first kiss is going to be followed up by lots and lots of other kissing so we gotta start it off just right.” I nodded my head. Lord, if death by swooning was possible, I’d be dead within the week.
A couple of nights ago was the first night we’d had that much physical contact since she’d moved in with me. I was thrilled that she was finally getting comfortable enough with me to let me touch her.
It was a tiny jump in the right direction. Cass had fallen asleep on my shoulder and I didn’t want her neck to get a kink in it, so I’d carried her to her own bed. A small part of me was sad that I couldn’t crawl right in beside her and snuggle up close, but we weren’t there yet.