His entrance had been memorable, to say the least, but he needed more than circus tricks and a confident aura if he was going to avoid a confrontation. When he had addressed the vampire envoy, he had not let the vampires know he was a king. This situation required all the regal bearing he could supply. Quickly scanning through his new fire spells, he saw one that might be useful.
L1 Appearance of Fire- This spell can give any small metal object the appearance of flames. Note: these flames contain no heat.
Raising two fingers, he placed them on his forehead. His black iron crown was tight against his skull. It may have looked like a tattoo, but it was still metal. As Joe cast the low-level spell, the crown began to glow orange and little flames danced about it. No longer incognito, it was now a highly visible symbol. Raising his voice, Joe spoke to the small army opposing him.
“What kind of nobles would fail to give respect to the lord of a castle such as this? You were given every opportunity to conduct yourselves in a right and proper fashion. Did I come out to greet you as if you were some traveling merchant caravan? No. I could see that, at the very least, you were a company of knights, so I chose to give you the benefit of the doubt. But, as I waited on my throne, did you send a herald to announce your intentions and arrival? No, you did not!
“The proper respect would not have required a long message. It could have been as simple as ‘Greetings and salutations, we're coming to take your castle.’ Or, if you weren't a bunch of fools, it could have been as simple as, ‘Greetings and salutations, we've come to call upon the owner of this magnificent castle.’ Either one of those messages would have been respectable options. Instead, you chose to treat me with less respect than is given to a barbarian prince. You have made a very dangerous slight, as I am no pauper. I am King Joseph Mareko Petrov, Master of the Five-Sided Castle, the Victorious Slain King, the Unmovable.
“This kingdom recognizes your trespass and your inability to follow simple rules of courtly decency. However, I acknowledge that you did not know who you were insulting. This being the case, I will give you one last opportunity to redeem yourselves in my eyes. If the noble player and his fellow NPCs choose to have a proper parlay, I will keep my gates closed and not throw the full might of this castle on all of you. If, however, you choose to persist in your obnoxious indifference, then you will reap my judgment. One procedural note, if you choose judgment and death, your dead bodies will still be granted the courtesy their rank demands. I will not set aside my honor for expediency. At that point, of course, war with Dollmar would be unavoidable. Make your decision, Earl Vasili,” Joe shouted.
The three nobles sat stunned at Joe’s entry through the portal as he spun his way down to the ground upon the bridge. Of the three, however, the earl had been the most surprised. He could read the blue lettering above Joe's head. Joe was neither an NPC nor a player. He was a Champion. When Joe had called out Vasili personally, it was as if he had awakened him from his trance. He made a quick decision.
“I'm taking charge of this expedition right now. The three of us are going to march forward and we're going to apologize for our impropriety,” Vasili announced.
“Earl, don't make that decision. He's just one man and I can tell that he's no better than a journeyman in any one magic. We can take this king. We can take this castle and its Grand Place of Power,” Anday put forth.
“Are you blind? He is a Champion. My decision stands,” Vasili commanded.
“But he's a king, he can't be a Champion,” Drusilla doubted.
“Of course, he can, if his master is an emperor or some other greater power. Enough talk, we need to go and explain to him why we didn't send a herald,” Vasili said.
“I submit to your authority, Earl,” Drusilla stated. Vasili frowned, for he knew what she really meant. She meant she would allow him to take the fall for whatever was about to happen. Nevertheless, he kicked his heels and his horse began to canter forward toward the bridge. He made his way before the king. As was right and proper, Vasili’s noble companions allowed him to take the lead.
Taking his own initiative, Anday mentally instructed his minion to phase just enough out of this reality to become invisible to everyone but him. Then, he ordered his six-legged beast to accompany them forward. Anday doubted this king would be able to see the monster anyway. Kings often carried the same weaknesses of their people.
Joe watched as the nobles and the disgusting dirty dog approached. To Joe's twenty-sided eye, the twisted creature seemed to be flickering in and out of vision, as if it wasn't completely there. He did his best to pretend he did not notice the creepy animal. Something about the creature led Joe to want to punch it. Joe felt his fists tighten and he forced himself to relax his palms. Without drawing attention to it, Joe mind-clicked on the beast.
Extraplanar Minion
Level- 85
Monster Type- Phased Devourer
Name- Anday’s Delight
Mana- 340
Hitpoints- 530
Known attacks- Non-physical bite
After the mind-click, Joe noticed once again that his fists were clenched tightly. Consciously, he forced his hands to open up again. Why won’t they relax? he thought. A message popped up in his Heads-up Display (HUD).
Do you wish to deactivate your passive skill, Multi-Plane Hands? Yes/No
Joe smiled and mind-clicked no. Looking down at his hands, he noticed that they also contained a slight flicker, as if resonating with the approaching minion. He had, indeed, been quite fortunate to run into Rook. Because of his Innate Courtly Etiquette skill, Joe was fully aware that allowing a monster to accompany them in a parley was breaking multiple rules of decorum. He also recognized that the de-escalation might not only be impossible, it might even be unwise. Joe had already allowed himself to fall into the role of the offended king, but, if needed, he was fully prepared to switch into the role of the offensive king.
The three nobles stopped in front of Joe, each of them with a different countenance. Vasili’s eyes betrayed his apprehension while his jaw remained clenched. Drusilla leaned slightly forward, clearly ready for action, and yet as she spied the yetis on the mound, she looked unsure. Anday, however, sat smugly nearby, with the sickly smile of a never-captured crook.
Vasili bowed with the precision designated for a foreign head of state. “Greetings, Your Majesty. I'm sorry there has been some confusion. It appears that our herald did not reach you. We ask that you forgive this break in protocol. It does appear that there have been vampires in the area. I can only assume our herald fell victim to one of them. Please accept our most sincere apologies for being unable to follow the dictates of royal courtesy,” Vasili intoned.
Joe remained quiet for a moment and studied the man before him. He nodded slightly, displaying the respect given to an earl from a king. “What you suggest may have happened. There had been five vampires in this immediate area. During my exchange with them, sadly, I was forced to kill one of them. My guards dealt with the rest. I've never been a fan of human vampires, but he didn't do himself any favors by trespassing upon my kingdom. What was worse, he only brought an escort of four halfling vampires. Obviously, I was insulted. You, at least, have brought three small platoons of knights. Not enough to be a threat to my castle, but enough to demonstrate some respect.
“If your herald hadn't been lost, this may have been a very different meeting. I would have been able to invite you into my court where we could have feasted and discussed the new possibilities now open between our kingdoms. As I'm sure you're aware, my small kingdom hasn't existed for very long. Unfortunately, during our short existence your Kingdom of Dollmar has already transgressed against us twice. Several days ago, two of your hunters invaded my realm and attempted to kidnap two of my citizens. Two children, at that. I was forced to execute them for their crimes. Then you encroached upon my castle without first sending a herald. Er, excuse me, your herald was somehow detained or fallen victim on its journey to the castle. Either way, the relat
ions between our two kingdoms have not had a very promising beginning. Here is the note of writ your hunters were carrying,” Joe said as he reached in his Holdall and pulled out the document, tossing it to the mounted noble. A quick message popped up in Joe’s HUD.
You have transferred an item to Vasili.
Item: Document- Dollmar Royal Seal of Work
This document has the embossed seal of the King of Dollmar. The bearer of this document was hunting yeti on the king's behalf. When assisting this bearer you're assisting the king.
Vasili looked at the seal and crushed it in his hand.
“This does complicate matters,” the earl said, unsure of how to proceed.
Anday leaned forward and held his hand out toward the earl.
“Your Grace, if I might examine the document,” Anday requested.
“By all means, Baron of Rolhill,” Vasili said, knowing that even if they were to withdraw, they must let their displeasure be known. The baron examined the royal seal and his lip curled in anger and contempt.
“How dare you. You have murdered two of the king's most lucrative subjects. Such a transgression cannot go unanswered!” the baron seethed.
“Hold your tongue, you step above your rank. You are not wrong, though,” the earl said as he turned back toward the king. He raised a pointed finger toward Joe. “You had no right to interfere in the lawful business of the king’s hunters.”
“Laws are set by the king. They are what he deems they are, and your king has no voice here. I, however, am the rightful authority over this valley. And though my kingdom’s existence can be measured in days, my laws are many and absolute. For instance, every single one of your slaves will be freed. Slavery is illegal in my kingdom. By bringing them across the border, you have given all of them a new lease on life. Congratulations, you've done a fine thing. It is for this reason only that I won't punish you for the evil that your kingdom’s hunters have done to my people,” Joe said.
“We will withdraw and inform our king of what has happened here today, but I am not authorized to just give slaves away. Regardless of your laws, the slaves will be accompanying us,” the earl said as he began to back away.
That was when Spooky decided to make her appearance. All of her angels, clad in black military fatigues, flew up and over the mound they were hiding behind. They landed in a line that spread out on both sides of their king. Spooky herself flew to Joe’s shoulder and spoke in a voice loud enough for the nobles to hear.
“All is prepared, My King. Let your will be known and it shall be done.”
Joe raised an eyebrow. She was a little too convincing in her theatrics and deception. As he turned his head to evaluate Spooky, however, he noticed a clear difference in her countenance from only moments before. Though still formal, she somehow appeared much softer.
Anday’s fists tightened and his mouth opened as he began to growl, “Ha! The earl gave you an opportunity to live and you rejected it? A counterfeit dark fairy and a few golems will not increase the chance of your survival in a battle with us,” the baron laughed.
“Baron, the earl said we are withdrawing. If, however, they attempt to stop our withdrawal, I assume the earl would free you to do whatever you deem necessary in our aid,” Drusilla said.
“Your Majesty, do not escalate this situation any further than you already have. Allow us to leave in peace. It is your best option,” Vasili stressed.
“If I don't enforce the freeing of those slaves, I become a hypocrite in my own kingdom. When the rot starts from the head the only cure is the guillotine. I'd really rather not put my kingdom through that. It is a messy and uncomfortable cure. I cannot pay for slaves as, in this kingdom, all are free from the moment they're on our soil. But, I could be persuaded to pay generously for the animals and sleds that they were brought here on,” Joe said as he reached in his Holdall and pulled out a bar of mithril. The eyes of the Planes Mage widened with hunger.
“You heard him, Earl, he said he would not allow us to take the slaves back,” Anday said. Before the earl could stop him, he commanded his beast to attack the king. The twenty-sided eye began to spin.
Joe had been expecting this attack. Building up speed, the six-legged beast charged straight at Joe, opening its mouth and baring its serrated teeth. The extra legs gave the Phased Devourer an incredibly quick first step. The king raised his arm, grasped tightly to his MIL Bar, and clicked it. The slimy beast ran straight at Joe and his outstretched fist. There was no fear of the man’s physical form, for the beast was beyond the physics of this plane. He would phase through all defenses and devour his target- the prey’s beating heart. The beast charged the man and a loud CRACK echoed through the valley.
The weight and momentum of the extraplanar creature was significant. When its skull impacted Joe’s immovable fist, something had to give. The beast flopped to the ground, lifeless. In death, it fully materialized for all to see. Neither Anday nor Anday’s Delight had known of the existence of a skill which would allow its bearer to manipulate multiple planes of existence at once. That knowledge was now inexplicitly clear. Joe’s Multi-Plane Hands could both hold onto his MIL Bar in this plane of existence and punch Anday’s Delight in another.
Surprise Counter- Plus 72% damage
Multi-Plane Hands vs extraplanar opponent- Plus 100% damage
Critical hit- Plus 150% damage
Ding
Joe's twenty-sided eye stopped on the number 20 while Joe still stood in the final pose of the fatal punch. Vasili smelled the strong stench of urine coming off of the baron beside him.
Congratulations!
You have defeated an Extraplanar Minion by combining an immovable force with an extra-dimensional fist.
XP received:
Base- 308, Voice of Monty Ring bonus- 308
Total XP- 616
You have moved up a level.
Current Level- 64
Releasing his MIL Bar from its immovability, Joe wiped the HUD messages from his view and stood up straight, unshaken once again.
“Why do you think I was allowing things to escalate, Earl? You were not following the rules of courtly etiquette when you approached me. The utter gall- attempting to hide this beast from me as it crept up with you. How many rules does that break, I wonder? Although I suppose it could be none, but that's only if your king has decided to raise mindless extraplanar beasts to the rank of noble. Was this evil disgusting dead beast part of your peerage?” Joe asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Give him the blasted slaves. I was instructed to kill them out here anyway. We must withdraw, something's not right here. What he did should not have been possible for anyone less than a god. Give him what he wants, anything and everything including our troops. We must flee,” the now terrified baron screeched. Vasili answered with a gauntleted backhand across the noble’s mouth.
“You will be silent! You have disgraced us enough. Do not add cowardice to the charges I will bring before our king,” Vasili said with iron in his voice. The earl turned away as the baron shrank back and lifted his hand to cover his bloody mouth.
“Once again, I must apologize on behalf of one of my men. First, it was a herald and now it is one of the nobility. The baron’s unprovoked attack and breach of courtly protocol will not go unpunished, I assure you. However, the fact that two of my king’s hunters have been killed is a diplomatic incident of the highest order. I will admit to you that I am a newly raised earl and this situation pushes beyond the limits of my wisdom. I must do what I believe my king would wish. I do not believe I should engage in combat with your people, but how would my king look upon me if I gave slaves away to a kingdom who has murdered his people?” asked the earl.
“You are in a difficult position. But I had already given you an out. I had offered to buy the sleds and all the animals used to transport your former slaves. What I had offered would have been an overpayment by a large degree. You could have taken it and told your king you had cheated me. Unfortunately, I can no longer
offer you such a high price. Your baron’s unwise attack has provided you with valuable intel. You should withdraw and leave the slaves. Your king might second-guess your command decisions, but he's not in the field. If you don't withdraw peacefully, he will never get this intel,” Joe said.
“Even with the increase you got from killing the baron’s extraplanar minion, your level is not as high as mine or any of my troops. Something doesn't feel right, neither you nor this castle should be here. Are the slaves really so important that you would guarantee the death of your soldiers just to free a few strangers? Even if your confidence in your military superiority is not a bluff, I don't believe that you could stop all of us from escaping. You couldn't kill all of my soldiers. My king will get this intel regardless,” Vasili said, and the baroness moved her horse up beside the earl.
“I stand with you, Your Grace,” Drusilla said, her hand already glowing with a soft brown color.
“Numbers aren’t everything, but you could help raise mine. Here, I want to show you a message I received this morning,” Joe said as he worked his way through his menus. When he found what he needed, he selected Vasili and sent a copy of the message.
Copy of User Interface (UI) message received by Joe:
Achievement earned!
You Ain't So Big. Rank 2.
This achievement is earned by beating three enemies 100 levels above you.
Plus 20% attack and defense power when facing characters of a higher level. Progression: Rank 3 is earned after defeating six enemies 100 levels above your current level. Current status: 4/6 till next rank.
Vasili read the message and his jaw tightened.
“You and your fellow nobles could bump me to the next rank. It could be fun. Care to roll the die?” Joe said and his twenty-sided eye began spinning wildly. Vasili looked ill, but he did not turn away. The challenge had not been subtle, but Vasili’s youthful pride could not be so easily suppressed. Vasili’s eyes began to glow red. His decision was nearly made.
The Sleeper Must Awaken Page 2