Chapter 13 - The Time Has Come
The Wild Mountains.
Ground floor of the Champion’s castle.
Day thirteen, just before the Midnight Bunny.
Joe rubbed the bridge of his nose as he waited for Zoya. He had just finished a long heart to heart with Moes where, once again, the halfling had attempted to illustrate to Joe how important it would be for him to give up power when the people of the Way showed up. Unfortunately, Joe’s instincts told him that if he did so, they would all die, so he held his ground. The relentless discontent did not let up, moving on to complain about how he had done more for Joe’s people than Joe had as the king. Joe recognized Moes’ accomplishments in healing the minds of the former slaves and ultimately, decided to pay the halfling generously for his work. Moes had reluctantly accepted the heavy gold coins, understanding that Joe was no longer in his debt. Before the halfling could offer up another complaint, Joe had left to meet up with Zoya.
Zoya rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as she flew up to Joe.
“Thank you for waiting for me, Joe. I really did need that sleep. I wish I didn’t have to do that, but then again, there's something comforting about it too… comforting… how do you deal with these feelings? And, well, this is odd and I’m not sure if it’s an anomaly, but sometimes I feel more than one emotion at a time. Excitement and fear, sorrow and joy. Isn’t that strange? Shouldn’t they cancel each other out? I hope this isn’t a sign that I gained them in the wrong way or that I might have been given lazy code—but, then again. Here it is. There’s something about emotions that fills me with exuberance—like the chance at a life I always wanted, deep down,” Zoya said.
“Ambivalence, just one of the many impossible wonders that us living beings get to contend with. Did you sleep well?” Joe asked, stepping into some friendly small talk with this unique being.
“Sleep well… I don’t think I have enough data points to answer that question,” Zoya answered. She knew she needed to strive toward honesty.
“In some ways, I think I'll miss sleep, but right now I know I need all the time that I can get. You might have a fast processor, but I don't. Those extra hours at night have already been useful. Anyway, now that you're up, let's go ahead and meet the dungeon,” Joe said with an uncharacteristically serious tone.
Zoya nodded and a wall began to slide into itself revealing the stairs that led to the basement. The little fairy flew down the curving descent and Joe followed her, the secret door closing behind them.
“How many in the castle know about that secret passageway?” Joe probed.
“Grork, Bork, Moes, and the two of us. I think we should probably keep it that way until we form the dungeon diving teams,” Zoya suggested.
“I agree, though speaking of teams, you missed something during your nap. San respawned, much to the delight of her family. To be honest, now that I know this is reality and a software program, I was pretty worried she wouldn't actually come back. It's hard to trust something that you don't understand, but I don't have to tell you that,” Joe supposed.
“Yes, although insight isn’t everything. Death row inmates understand they’re about to die and why,” Zoya threw out.
“That's a little dark, Debbie-Downer,” Joe laughed. “Cheer up, Zoy, we get to go in a dungeon. And I hear it has flowers and smells like vanilla,” he winked.
“Why do you always shorten everyone's name?” Zoya asked.
“Do you not like it? I won't do it if it bugs you,” Joe reassured, showing concern.
“No, it's fine. It's just something I've always wondered,” Zoya admitted, studying the entrance to the Dungeon of Os (pronounced O.S.).
“Oh, I think maybe I do it to make my interactions with my friends slightly different than interactions they have with others. Or, I don't know… I think I just like variety,” Joe acknowledged, becoming pensive.
“That's new,” Zoya declared.
“I don't think it's new. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does it,” Joe asserted, feeling slightly defensive.
“No, I mean that box on the wall right beside the dungeon entrance. Something about it tickles my circuits, but I can't access the memory,” Zoya said, scrunching up her lips.
“You know, it looks like an old-school cable box. I'm going to go ahead and see if I can open it,” Joe announced stepping up to the slate grey panel.
“Joe, are you sure that's a good idea? I could get an angel down here to open it up in under 30 seconds,” Zoya all but pleaded.
“No. I hate those things! The fact that this is not a game does not make those creepy statues more palatable. This really doesn't seem that dangerous, but if it makes you feel better, I'll open it with my MIL Bar, while I stand to the side,” Joe said unclicking the bar from his belt and stepping to the side. The panel had a simple latch that Joe was able to hook one of the bar’s loops around. As he opened the panel, nothing happened.
“See, no danger, but it certainly appears to be a cable box. Now if this was a game, I could understand why they might put something like that here, but it's not, so why, and how did it get here?” Joe inquired.
“For the life of me, I have no idea. That's weird to say… life of me,” Zoya quavered, looking off to the side.
“Let's not get philosophical. We have to be practical at this point. It is what it is. We are what we are. Let’s focus on the physical. This box—why is it here? Did you let it slip while you were in the dungeon that TV exists? I mean, if the dungeon’s anything like me, it's constantly craving Law and Order. Ba bum,” Joe said mimicking the classic two-toned signature of the iconic TV show.
“Sometimes I forget how old you are. Which is quite a feat since it used to be impossible for me to forget anything,” Zoya said attempting deadpan humor.
“Lots of young people like Law and Order,” Joe defended.
“Maybe 70-year-olds, or octogenarians,” Zoya refuted.
“Exactly, young people,” Joe smiled, “No, seriously though, I hooked up my fair share of entertainment systems and this really does look like an old setup for an apartment building’s worth of TVs. Could you make cables to fit these?” Joe asked, pointing at the connections.
“Wire has been around for over two millennia. It's relatively simple to make, and it shouldn't be a problem for me using my Energy Mass Conversion Magic. In fact, I wonder if I did make this box? It looks extremely high-quality, manufactured even. Maybe EMC, before…” Zoya trailed off.
“I think that's a question for later. It's time we step into the dungeon. I want to meet Os. I wonder if she'll like me?” Joe said as he stepped forward into the dungeon. Zoya took one more look at the cable box then followed after.
***
Os was so bored. For her, time was not supposed to move slowly. She had waited for eons without feeling the need for stimulation. However, ever since she made the deal with the dark fairy she had been waiting in anticipation for someone to trigger her Boss Music. Afterall, her selections highlighted her expertise and talent for setting a mood. This was an evolution in her combat creations.
The thrill of receiving the reward from the UI was dampened only by the limitations the UI had put upon her. Once she selected the Boss Music for a floor, she would not be allowed to listen to it again until a dungeon diver entered. She was allowed to change the music, but only after the boss had been engaged.
She wished she could stretch out and sense what was beyond her entrance. The Keeper of Secrets had told her this may one day become a possibility, but she had made no promises.
The air around her entrance changed. Someone was about to step through.
A strange but enormous male of indeterminate race and species stepped inside. Os felt his power but more than that, she could sense his epic potential. Terror gripped her right down to her crystal core and she gave no greeting, neither to the ominous man nor the fairy who followed after.
This man carried a rare gift. He was an Empathetic Learner. And that made him a larg
er threat than anyone she had ever come in contact with. She had buried her core deep, but eventually he would gain the power to side-step every trap and conquer every boss. Once he made it to her core, she would fully be in his power. Os was a survivor, but she had no confidence she would survive him.
Her lack of greeting had been purposeful. The less he knew of her true self, the less capable he would be to empathize with her. Os shuddered in fear. What if he gained her abilities? Only a dungeon should have the power of a dungeon. Men didn't live by rules. They did what they wanted, when they wanted. If a man was granted the power of a dungeon, but none of its limitations, he could be the end of the world.
Chapter 14 - Nice to Meet You
“I thought that you said the dungeon greeted everyone who entered it,” Joe questioned.
“That’s what I believed to be true…” Zoya paused, “but it must not be a mandatory rule for her. Hmm. Odd though.”
Joe nodded and surveyed the expansive cavern filled with colorful mushrooms.
“It's quite pretty, and you're right about this dungeon being female. I can't imagine a man being capable of decorating so beautifully using only mushrooms. The feminine mystique is alive and well in this cavern. However, in games and in life, for every point you add to beauty and allure, ten are added to danger. Not that that's going to prevent me from getting to know this dungeon a little better. I think it's time for a dance,” Joe said as he focused on the boss mushroom.
Dungeon, Floor 1 Boss
Level- 6
Monster Type- Mushrooms Eventuality
Name- ‘Rooms the Unmushable
Mana-none
Hitpoints-102
Known attacks- Venomous bite, Engulfing Spores
Quietly at first, “Flight of the Valkyries” began to play, gaining in intensity and volume as they advanced. Tilting her head to the side and burrowing an eyebrow, Zoya paused in confusion at this new edition. Joe, however, took it in stride as his hands began glowing a fiery red and he ran toward the mushroom boss. In mid-sprint, he completed the cast and slid to a halt.
L4 Molotov’s Beginning- This spell produces a glass sphere containing a fist-sized amount of flammable liquid that can be thrown as far as 35 feet. The target of this assault is smothered in flames upon contact. Is there anything more palatable than a warm cocktail, especially after a long day of walking through the snow?
Gently gripping the ball of volatile liquid, Joe took aim and threw. As the product of Molotov’s Beginning connected with the violent mushroom, it shattered and caught fire. The fiery liquid dripped down the body of the doomed fungi. The pleasant aroma of French onion soup wafted through the air and caught Joe’s nose. Shaking off his hunger, Joe stepped forward, raised his foot, and brought it down hard on the now-burning boss. As Joe stomped on the mushroom, he noticed he was taking damage. With the ease of a lifelong gamer, he opened the information tab to investigate as he continued to stomp.
You have received 4 fire damage.
You have received 4 fire damage.
Boss defeated, 0 XP received.
You have received 4 fire damage.
You have received 4 fire damage.
Looking down at the dead mushroom, Joe realized his pants were on fire and he quickly patted them out.
Congratulations…?
You have ended the existence of a weak, nearly defenseless fungi.
XP received:
Base- 0, Voice of Monty Ring bonus- 0
Total XP- 0
“Well that feels a bit disingenuous. Kind of like, ‘Yippy, you can take candy from a baby! You’re so tough!’ There’s no need for the snark, UI! I agree with your assessment, you will get no bug report from me, but man,” Joe said. He hadn’t been given a chance to fight the monster before, so it wasn’t a repeat kill and still the UI had decided to leave him empty handed. Although it made sense, it was not what he had hoped for in his first dungeon battle. As Joe stepped back, he heard something clicking against the stones under his boot. Raising it up, he noticed the small coin, or rather medallion, lying underneath.
Medallion of Safe Passage- Floor 1
When carried on one's person, this medallion grants safe passage for the entire party. Note: This medallion only guarantees safe passage on the first floor of the Dungeon of Os.
Pick up Medallion of Safe Passage- Floor 1? Yes/No
Holding the medallion up to his eye, Joe shrugged. He opened up his Holdall and dropped it in, knowing it would be categorized and placed within its new proper slot.
Pausing for a moment, Joe looked over the walls of the cavern around him and back at Zoya. “Let's step outside for a minute,” Joe said. Zoya nodded and without a word flew out the entrance.
Once out of the dungeon, Joe looked at Zoya.
“You said the dungeon can't hear or sense anything outside of its domain and the Book of Useful Information confirms that, but what about vibrations in the air that pass into its open entrance?” Joe asked.
Instead of answering, Zoya cast a Cone of Silence around her and Joe.
“Better safe than sorry. And Joe, before you ask, I don't remember if I gave her that Boss Music. Since I executed protocol one eight seven, I no longer feel whole… having these gaps in my memory are throwing me off,” Zoya said.
Joe's eyes widened slightly and a look of concern filled his eyes, “I'm sorry, Zoya. I really am. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, rebuilding who you are. I actually hadn't realized the Boss Music was new. It felt natural to me. I’m not sure why I felt the need to step back out for a minute. I think experiencing a dungeon in the real world- or rather, as I now have understood this all to be the real world- is throwing me off. There’s these obvious gaming mechanics at play and yet it’s intermixed with real world elements that I’m trying to make sense of. When I attacked that mushroom with fire, I assumed that, like in most games, the fire wouldn't hurt me because I had made it. Only it did. So, some things on this world are game-like and others are not. I think it’s going to take me, take us, a while to sort out what elements will reliably feel and function like normal life and what elements are impacted by the gaming mechanics the UI has established on this Moon. And to top it all off, I guess we’re both adjusting to our new roles, or in your case, identity,” Joe shook his head. “King Joe… how did this happen?”
Zoya stayed quiet for a moment and when she finally spoke, her tone was warm and kind.
“I suppose it could be seen as an identity shift—I think I’ve seen it more as an adjustment. That I’m adjusting to the loss of who I considered myself to be. As far as the juxtaposition of the physical world against the game mechanics the UI created, well, I’m not too worried myself, Joe. All those differences and similarities are measurable, even if slightly variable.” She flew in closer and laid her tiny hand on his. “Joe, right now, I think we need to keep training and progressing. I don’t see it benefiting us to dwell on how difficult our journey might be, because, unfortunately, it’s not the rosiest picture. I thought about mentioning this earlier, but you were so excited about all the advantages we have. No matter how I analyze it, our knowledge of the UI and my knowledge of technology will not be enough to sway the outcome in our favor. My calculations are dire. I’m so sorry, Joe, but our chances of gaining enough power to protect the people we’ve gathered is somewhere around one in a billion.”
“So, you're saying there's a chance. Hot diggity dog, let's get this done,” Joe grinned and turned back toward the dungeon. “You head into the dungeon first. I want to see if she speaks to you when I'm not there.”
Zoya hit her palm to her forehead and shook it gently, before turning toward the dungeon entrance herself and heading in.
Greetings, Secret Keeper, may you find this dungeon as dangerous as it is law abiding.
Zoya cocked one eyebrow up at the unsettling and yet comforting greeting. She didn't have to wait long before Joe came in behind her. The dungeon was silent.
“The greeting I rec
eived before you came in, confirms that this dungeon follows rules. So, she must not have a rule requiring her to greet all who enter in,” Zoya said.
“It probably didn't greet me because I smell bad. Os, I promise I will scrub better next time. A gentleman should always prepare himself before he dances with a lady above his station,” Joe crooned.
In spite of herself, Os added a few gold coins to the loot allocated for the next boss. The man may be a threat, but he spoke sense. And, he wasn't lying about his aroma. He had clearly washed, but her attuned senses could still detect an old musty scent. Ironically, the stale medicine smell was leading Os to feel, in some ways, that Joe might be a kindred spirit.
“Joe, you really should cut that out. Not every woman likes to be flattered,” Zoya said.
“Well-spoken truth is not flattery, and pretty words are just audible flowers. There's nothing wrong with flowers,” Joe insisted.
“Shall we continue?” Zoya entreated.
“We shall,” Joe said with an overly formal bow and smile.
As they crossed the cavern to the stairs, the newly-formed mushroom boss remained motionless as Joe carried his Medallion of Safe Passage.
Joe cleared the curving staircase and walked through the entrance to the second floor of the dungeon. Instantly, he sneezed.
“That is a heavy floral scent,” Joe remarked.
Aware of what to expect, the two carefully traversed the blind corners. Blue and white glowing flowers covered the walls, producing a pure daylight illumination.
“That is simply stunning. So, I know there’s a trap coming up, right? I was thinking I could use my Fire Magic to burn the flowers from a distance. That would stop the acid from coming out as I got close. But, we’d lose the flower petals you use, and that’s some great loot. Since you’re here, Zoya, why don’t you go ahead and do your thing. I’ll have to think of better ways to deal with these traps when you’re otherwise occupied,” Joe said.
The Sleeper Must Awaken Page 13