“Good job, Joe. On the downside, I think that means no more suffocation or arterial constriction,” Zoya theorized. At nearly the same moment three things happened: the carcass turn to ash, Phoebe shouted, “Cat!” and the seventh Gato emerged, throwing itself directly up and into the downward pointed scimitar.
Siete Gato died before it had even taken a full breath of desert air.
“That one had significant magical power, I could feel it. It wasn't Binding Magic, but I could feel its pull on both of my magics. I don't think we're going to be able to run from the next one, even if we wanted to,” Zoya worried.
“I was quite a ways away from you and I could feel the pull also. Our options for killing these cats are getting a little too few for my liking. It's time for out of the box thinking, people,” Joe said as he quickly began to dump out multiple items from his Holdall. In order that the items didn't all end up in a pile, he backed up as he unloaded.
Phoebe picked up a few small gemstones, felt their weight, and then placed them in her ammo pouch. San picked up a few large dense rocks. The whole group looked like a bizarre version of a Sahara yard sale.
Phoebe paused and looked up at Joe, suddenly unsure of herself.
“Cat, maybe?” she said.
As if squirted by a galactic giant squid, the artificial sun in the cavern sky filled with inky blackness and the bright desert darkened. Joe's twenty-sided eye began to spin. Out of nowhere, wind and storm began to swirl around them. Lightning crackled in the dark sky, directly above the adjusting party.
“Ball lightning, and it's coming straight down. Spread out!” Joe yelled, but before they could get more than ten meters away, the crackling ball of lightning landed right in the middle of them. The moment it hit the ground, the lightning instantly dissipated.
Cloaked in wispy shadow, standing on two legs, a cat-like creature stood where the lightning had struck. It didn't appear to be interested in any of the group members. It was as if they didn't exist. As it stood in its cloak of shadow, it moved its paws in a circular hypnotic pattern and hissed in some unreal cat language. It chanted the same word, “Venu,” over and over. Its shadows began to solidify into a true void. As these unnatural rifts in space and time began to swirl around the chanting cat, Joe and Zoya felt the hunger of the shadows.
Realizing they should have attacked the moment it had appeared, Joe called out a command.
“Attack!”
San threw a stone the size of a cantaloupe, but just before it could impact with the cat's head, the shadows swallowed it up. Nothing they threw made it to the perseverating feline. Without warning, both the shadows and the storm dissolved. The silence was oppressive. The cat opened its arms wide, taking a deep breath in. Like an amateur interpretive dancer, it pulled its arms in and bent down into a ball.
Suddenly, both Joe and Zoya received a message in their HUD.
Congratulations, you have learned a hybrid spell, L8 Mana Attack.
Before they could understand what was happening, their hands were forced to aim toward the cat who was curled in a ball. As if they were true avatars controlled by an external source, they cast their newly learned spell. From Joe's and Zoya’s hands, every color of magic that they possessed shot in a straight line at the cat. The full power of the rays disintegrated the cat before them and emptied their mana to zero.
Joe fell back, unconscious, and Obsidian One opened its chest, quickly pulling Zoya out, who was faring no better than Joe.
Phoebe sprinted forward, opening the bottle of water Joe had given her earlier and splashing it on his face and then on the dark fairy’s. Both woke with a gasp and a cry of pain.
“That spell used every type of magic we have available. When the next cat comes we're going to be dinner,” Zoya said while holding herself in a ball on the sand.
“That doesn't sound like 50% capacity. Start thinking,” Joe said as he forced himself onto his knees and once again began emptying his pack, dropping a large pig carcass, a mining pick, and other odds and ends.
“Do you have a cow?” San asked and Joe quickly dropped one. San expertly cut the cartilage and flesh around the femurs so that she could use them as clubs. Zoya was still sitting on the ground trying to regain the full use of her faculties.
“How are you even moving, Joe? My head is ringing and my body hurts inside and out. Look, the sun is starting to burn off the shadow. At least this time, we'll be able to see the cat. Not that it's going to make much difference,” Zoya lamented.
“You can do this, Zoya,” Joe encouraged, taking a moment to look her in the eye and give her a lopsided grin. She could tell he wanted to shoot her a finger gun but he was too busy pulling things out of his bag.
“Huge cat!” Phoebe screamed and the music which had been garbled and unrecognizable became ominously clear. “The Imperial March” played loudly over the vast desert terrain.
“I know we're not on Earth, but there's no way that Disney is going to let that fly. Mind you, it's a classic and a wonderful tune. I would just be worried about a reprisal, but that's just me,” Joe blurted, proving that he couldn't help but talk when he was nervous.
An area of sand, about the size of a racquetball court, began to vibrate. The team stared at the shifting sand as a gargantuan SUV-sized cat clawed its way out of the dune.
“That's not even close to fair,” Zoya trembled.
As the long-haired monstrous cat fully emerged from the sand, it slowly and gracefully tipped to one side and then the other, allowing the sand to cascade off its back. Then it slowly and methodically began to lick itself. Its eyes glowing brightly the whole time.
“Joe, I think that cat is making fun of us,” Zoya said.
“The cat is actually observing a rather common practice in desert culture,” Joe remarked.
“What are you talking about?” Zoya asked.
“It's freshening up before its final meal of the day,” Joe said nonchalantly.
“Should we attack it?” Zoya asked.
“Never interrupt a super villain’s monologue. Focus and use what we are being given. San and Obsidian, if the cat attacks, engage it head-on. Give us as much time as you can,” Joe urged.
The large yeti and the golem put themselves between their party and the bathing cat. The yeti held the calf bones and Obsidian One now held pieces of ore.
Joe continued to dump things out his bag.
The dark fairy and the halfling looked at the falling items, trying to think of some way they could be used against the near invulnerable feline. Zoya held her dagger close as she flew over the items. She wanted to kill the cat with it, but using her dagger would be like poking a lion with a pin.
Phoebe looked at the dagger and then back at the cat and frowned. At this point, a party wipe felt inevitable.
The cat turned its head to the left and then the right, showing off how pretty it was. Then it stretched and yawned. Slowly, it began to walk forward, eyes focused on the yeti and golem in its path. They didn't retreat, so the cat began to pick up speed.
San ran forward to meet the cat and Obsidian One followed her lead. Instead of attacking them, the cat jumped and Obsidian One pivoted and threw a piece of ore it was holding. The rock was dense and it impacted with the cat’s soft belly, causing a small amount of damage.
Growling in anger, Nueve Gato spun to face the rock thrower, who promptly threw the other rock it was holding. This ore bounced off the shoulder of the cat and caused no damage, but increased the monster’s anger. Leaping at Obsidian One, the cat began to scratch. Its claws were too dense and its strength was too much for the hardened Obsidian to resist. The golem shattered on the sand. Only its heart, still whole, lay in the pile of shards.
Despite the display of power the cat had just exhibited, the yeti showed no fear. San grabbed onto the fur of the cat with one hand and jabbed its calf bone at the glowing eyes. Unfortunately, the cat pivoted quickly and the bone did not hit its intended target. The cat spun in a circle, throwing off t
he yeti who could not fight such centrifugal force.
San did not fall hard. Instead, she rolled and came back on her feet in time to poke the cat in the nose.
“Give me a big fish,” Phoebe screamed at Joe. Instead of questioning, Joe reached in his bag and pulled out an exceptional 18-inch long herring.
“Zoya, stay with me. Joe, you go help San. Take some rocks with you,” Phoebe pleaded.
For a moment, it looked like Joe was going to argue, but then his twenty-sided eye began to spin. Turning on his heels, he scooped up a few big rocks and went to help San, who appeared to have lost the use of her right arm.
San dodged left and right but she was slowing because of the horrible gash through her shoulder. Finally, pain and exhaustion got the better of her and she fell back. Just before Nueve Gato could kill her, Joe's rock hit the cat in the ear.
“Here, kitty, kitty. I've got your num nums,” Joe taunted. Reaching in his bag, Joe had as many rocks as he needed, so he threw them as fast as he could, even though they dealt almost no damage to the mammoth fur ball. However, he had successfully drawn the attention of the cat. Immediately, he started to run to the right, swinging his MIL Bar on a rope, but the cat was not going to allow the bar to come into play.
Before Joe could gain any distance, the cat leapt forward, reached one paw out, and pressed the bar deep into the sand, cutting the rope with the claws of its other paw. If Joe wanted to get the immovable bar, he was going to have to dig and the cat would not allow that.
Joe rolled backwards to try to create a little space, if only to gather his bearings and come up with a new plan of attack.
The cat, however, did not let up. Its claws raked Joe’s arms and chest the moment he regained his footing.
In desperation, Joe threw a kinetic missile at the cat, but the magic had no effect. The low level spell extinguished all the mana he had gradually restored.
The cat’s paws pushed Joe to the ground and if Joe hadn't had his regen running, the puncturing claws would have killed him. He was thankful the regen had not yet expired.
Then suddenly, the cat's nose tilted up and its eyes stopped glowing.
“Fishy fish,” Phoebe said as she held up the herring, waving it in front of the cat.
The cat froze. Its dark eyes focused on the fish. This was the reaction Phoebe had been hoping for. With all the strength she possessed, the little halfling threw the fish as high in the air as she could. The cat leapt, snatching the fish out of the air and swallowing it whole. The moment the cat landed, the light returned to its eyes. Recognizing the danger, Nueve Gato attempted to hack up the fish still in its esophagus. But this was not an easily dislodgeable furball. The cat forgot about the party around it as it attempted to hack up the treacherous fish.
“No matter how big of rock you put in that fish, that cat is going to get it out of its throat soon. Also, it can't die by suffocation, remember,” Joe gasped, wishing he had enough mana to cast a healing spell.
“A queen is not so easily removed,” Phoebe pronounced as if she was quoting something she had just heard.
Joe looked around and didn't see Zoya.
“She willingly went inside that thing?” Joe asked.
“I just wanted to put her dagger in the fish, but she insisted on accompanying it,” Phoebe remarked.
“Zoya needs to breathe. She's going to die in there,” Joe said.
“She's in the esophagus and planning on cutting her way into the lungs. As long as the cat has air, she has air,” Phoebe dismissed.
“I hope you're right. Wait, if she cuts the lungs, wouldn't that be dying by suffocation?” Joe asked.
“No. Drowning,” Phoebe said.
“In the desert?” Joe asked with skepticism.
“Water isn't the only liquid that can fill the lungs,” Phoebe said as if pronouncing judgment upon the cat.
Nueve Gato began using its own claws to attempt to cut out the offending fish, but it was too late, Zoya had performed her internal tracheotomy and reached the lungs. The damage was done. Now it was a race to see if the dark fairy could climb up and out of the cat before it died and she suffocated within it.
With eyes glowing bright, the cat stopped it's struggling and looked down at the halfling. With a clear measure of respect, the cat tilted its head toward Phoebe.
Recognizing the honor she had been shown, the halfling returned the head tilt.
As if going to sleep, the cat curled up in a ball and laid his head down near its own tail, which had gone limp.
Ding
Congratulations!
Immediately, Joe swiped the message away without reading it. As if his movement was a signal, the sand around them begin to shake. On the right side of the cat an elevator rose out of the sand and its doors opened. On the left side of the cat, a sinkhole appeared. Sand fell in and revealed circular stairs heading down to the next floor. Joe leaned in and looked over the edge, noticing that at the bottom of the stairwell there was a large elevator door within an elaborate looking lock, requiring a key.
“How do we get the queen out?” San fretted, knowing that even in death, her claws could not pierce the hide of the great beast.
Then the cat's nose began to twitch and instinctively, the yeti threw a rock at it.
“Stop that!” Zoya’s tiny voice echoed in the cat's nasal cavities.
San shrank at the rebuke, recognizing her error.
“Sorry, Your Majesty, won't happen again,” San said as she began to search through the shards of Obsidian One, looking for the heart.
The dark fairy’s head popped out of one of the cat’s nostrils and she painstakingly pulled herself out, dragging her mithril dagger behind her. As she stood on top of the cat's nose, she was covered in a green-red viscous sludge. Dropping her dagger, her hands went to her gut and she doubled over and threw up. Even when all of her lunch had been emptied, she continued to dry heave.
“JOE! Pour water on me, please! And then if you have bleach, pour that on me too!” Zoya pleaded. Wisely, Joe covered up his inappropriate amusement and began to pour water on the dark fairy.
“Are you sure we shouldn't loot the corpse before we clean you up?” Joe teased.
“Not funny, Joe. Also, we should not loot this corpse. Its constituent parts are too valuable,” Zoya said.
“I don't think we can go down to the next level unless we get the key that I assume is part of the loot,” Joe said.
“We nearly wiped. We should get the key next time, because this time our poor choices made this cat nearly invincible. We're never going to allow it to become immune to all of our best attacks in the future. If a boss like this is planned for, it’s rather simple. However, because of the immunities we allowed this cat to build up, its hide alone is priceless. I can cut it with mithril, but metallic claws and other swords containing iron will be ineffective against it. Unfortunately, I don't think we can get any of the bones as they're connected together in such a way that we can't break them,” Zoya said.
“I know that you're right. But for some reason, it's always difficult not to find out what's behind the curtain once you reach the prize round. I know the bones won't break, but I bet we'll be able to cut some of the tendons and remove some of the bones. The rib cage won't fit in the elevator, but just about everything else will. Maybe if I stretch my bag I can get it in,” Joe wondered.
“That rib cage is a lot wider than a cow’s. I shudder to think what would happen if we damaged your bag,” Zoya said as she handed Joe her mithril dagger.
“Why are you giving me this?” Joe asked.
“It's not a gift. It's a loan. I am hoping you can get out a container for me to take a bath in and while I'm relaxing, you would be such a dear if you began dissecting the cat. I did just take one for the team. Could you take the first shift cutting? Unfortunately, I'd be surprised if it takes us less than a few days to remove everything of value from that tremendous cat,” Zoya surmised.
“It's going to be a serious job
, but I think you're right, it will be worth it,” Joe said.
“Since we're going to be here awhile, there's no rush. We should allocate our points,” Zoya said.
Joe got out a small tub and various shampoos and soaps, and placed them together for Zoya’s bath.
Zoya looked up at Joe with fear. “Joe, I really don’t want to bathe in front of everybody. I think a few days ago, it wouldn’t have mattered, but now…”
Joe put his hand to his forehead, “Of course not, Zoya. What if I get a large board and put it in the sand in front of the tub? If we place the tub over there, no one would be able to see you. Sound like a plan?”
“Thank you, Joe.”
It didn’t take long to set up the semi-private bathing station. From the tub, Zoya raised her voice. “Hey Joe, have you allocated your points yet?”
“No, I’ve been a little bit distracted. I’m guessing you already finished?” Joe asked.
“I did, actually. This time, the UI decided to be generous with me, which is a pleasant change. I received three points in luck and two in dexterity. I also lost one point in wisdom. And, to be honest, I completely agree with that decision. It’s going to take me a long time to deal with the trauma associated with being covered in snot. Sometimes, unfortunately, the only way to beat a superior opponent, is to do something that no wise person would even consider.”
“Zoya, I just noticed something. As you were talking about the stats you received, an option popped up in my HUD to view your entire character sheet. I’ve never had full access like this before. Did you do something to change the permissions?”
“I wondered when you’d notice that,” she smiled, “Yeah, along with taking a new name, I decided to take on a few new behaviors. The most obvious one is that I want to be completely open with you about both our kingdom and the choices that I make. I’m not asking for the same in return. It’s important to me that you don’t just think this as a ploy to gain more control over you, as that is what it would have been not long ago,” Zoya said.
The Sleeper Must Awaken Page 24