by Eden Winters
Dustin paused to take a bite of his meal, chewing slowly. “Mmmm… this place has the best slaw!”
Seth recognized the stalling tactic. “Why didn’t you write to me?” If his heart squeezed any harder, it’d explode.
“I did! Nearly every week when you first left. But you never wrote back, or returned my phone calls. After a while, Mom made me stop calling. Said it broke her heart to see me upset when I didn’t get to speak with you.”
“You called me?” Seth’s mind reeled. All this time he thought he’d been forgotten. He remembered how his grandmother wouldn’t meet his eyes when he asked about his old friend. The pieces fell into place. If only he’d had Internet or a cell phone back then…
Dustin finally drew his hand back. Seth missed the warmth immediately. “Seth, people have their reasons for why they make the choices they do. Your grandmother is no different. I’m sure she convinced herself that she was protecting you.”
“Protecting me? From what? She knew how lonely I was, how much it hurt me to leave here. Why would she lie to me?”
“I can’t speak for your grandmother, but I promise you, you were missed.”
Twenty years of misconceptions left Seth with a lot to deal with. “My old room is exactly like I left it.”
Dustin nodded. “Irene held out hope ’til the end that you’d come back someday.”
“Why didn’t she contact me after Nana died?”
“She’d been fighting the good fight herself since then. Besides, you lived in Chicago, and via a social media site, she watched you from afar. You seemed happy, and she didn’t want to take you away from your home and friends.”
Seth recalled his many profile pages, the beautiful lies he’d concocted to make himself appear more interesting, less of a loser. “Oh my God! If she went to my blog, she knew I was gay!” Another possibility presented itself for her lack of interest in Seth—disgust.
“Yeah, and she hoped you’d find the man of your dreams. I told you, she defended me. Irene McDaniel was the kindest, most accepting woman I’ve ever met. She loved you. Her last thoughts were of you.”
Seth’s eyes burned, and a knot formed in his chest. He didn’t think either had anything to do with spicy barbeque sauce. A tear escaped his control, spilling down his cheek.
“Now look at me. I’ve gone and upset you.” Dustin handed over a napkin. “Are you finished eating?”
Seth bobbed his head, wiping at his eyes with the napkin.
Extracting a wad of cash from his wallet, Dustin peeled off a few bills, securing them under his plate. “C’mon. Let’s take a walk.”
The sun was beginning to set when Dustin led Seth down a flight of steps, across a neatly manicured lawn, and to the bank of a small lake. A trio of ducks glided across the calm surface. “The creek behind your house feeds into this.” Dustin stopped at a cement bench, sitting down and gesturing for Seth to do the same. “I’ve always loved it here. So peaceful.”
Shoulder to shoulder, the heat radiated off Dustin’s body and suddenly Seth felt coldness inside at odds with the sticky summer heat. His own wave of envy consumed him, for Dustin, Monica, and anyone else who’d basked in his aunt’s love. “I missed out on a lot.”
“Yes, you did, and I’m sorry for that. Did you know your ancestors were some of the first folks to settle here? Hell, half the town wanted to name the place McDanielville.”
“And were beaten out by ‘Possum Kingdom’?” Seth attempted a feeble joke, trying to regain his balance. Over the course of a few minutes, Dustin had laid waste to the worst of Seth’s beliefs. His aunt had never stopped loving him, his best friend had missed him, his grandmother had lied. Inside, a solid block of ice encased his heart and he fought to breathe.
“Beats ‘Squirrel Ridge’, twenty miles away.”
Seth supposed it did. They sat together silently, serenaded by crickets and bullfrogs. The clean scent of the great outdoors, free of exhaust fumes, though occasionally bearing the scent of the restaurant behind them, slowly calmed his nerves. For a moment Seth considered ditching his life in Chicago to fix up his aunt’s house for himself instead of some nameless future buyer. But no, he’d never fit in here. Like you fit in Chicago?
Dustin wrapped an arm around him, resting a warm hand on Seth’s shoulder. “Is this all right?”
“Yes.” In fact, in Seth’s opinion, it was more than all right. Tonight his world had unraveled—he needed grounding, something to take his mind off the alternate reality he suddenly found himself in.
“Can I kiss you?”
Seth glanced right and left before answering. Behind them sat the restaurant’s back wall, secluding them from prying eyes.
“No one can see us.” Dustin gave Seth a crooked grin. “Why do you think I brought you here? This bench is pure gold to every high school couple in the county.”
“Think we’ll shock any teenagers?”
“God, I hope so.”
They tilted their heads as one. Seth observed a fleeting sentimental smile before Dustin’s lips met his. They nuzzled noses, skimming their lips back and forth. Dustin slipped his tongue inside Seth’s mouth, sweet with molasses and spices. Seth moaned, twining his tongue with Dustin’s.
At some point he brought his arms up, grasping Dustin and hanging tighter than a drowning man. And still the kiss continued, a lazy, unhurried exploration until they both pulled away, breathless.
“Wow.” Seth wasn’t sure who’d spoken—him, Dustin, or perhaps both.
Something unfathomable dwelled in Dustin eyes when he withdrew, but it wasn’t the raging lust Seth hoped to find. After a moment of intense scrutiny, Dustin said, “C’mon, I’d better take you home.”
What? Was it something I said?
Dustin remained quiet on the way back to the farmhouse, but he gave Seth a brief glimpse of hope with a scorching hot good-night kiss. “I’d like to stop by tomorrow, if that’s okay.”
Sensibilities scrambled by turbocharged lust, Seth would’ve let Dustin have whatever he asked for. The few remaining brain cells that survived their intimate tongue tangle managed to pull together and form a single word: “Sure.”
A sleepless night left Dustin horny, tired, and aggravated. Now why the hell had he promised Seth another date? Just because Dustin had revealed his conniving grandmother’s duplicity didn’t mean Seth would suddenly change his mind and stay. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Don’t get involved with him. He’s short term! the rational part of Dustin’s mind told him, quickly shushed by the body part begging him to strip down and let nature take its course.
He slammed a chart down onto his desk, dropping into his chair.
“Mind sharing exactly how that chart pissed you off? Or is it the desk you’re mad at?” Monica stood in the office doorway, managing to appear intimidating even in bright pink scrubs. She’d wound her braids around her head, creating the illusion of a fuzzy gold tiara.
“I intended to take Seth out last night, talk a bit about Irene, and take him home. Nothing more.”
Monica tsked. “Dude, you disappoint me. Was getting laid ever in your plan?”
“No, Monica. Taking advantage of my date was your idea.”
“What?” Her eyes widened in mock surprise. “And you didn’t take my excellent advice? How… wasteful.”
Scowling required too much energy. Dustin glared instead. “He’s leaving in a few weeks.”
“Last time I tried it, meaningless sex didn’t take longer than a day or two.”
Dustin goggled; Monica snickered. “Gotcha!” Ms. I-get-a-new-boyfriend-every-time-the-wind-blows didn’t have to be so damned smug. The town only held so many men. What did she do? Import them?
“I like him, okay? I’m not going to use him, and I’m not wasting my time with a lost cause.”
“Okay. Sounds reasonable to me. Why the long face?”
“’Cause, like a fool, I told him I’d come by today.”
“And those were your exact words?”
“Huh? Why do you ask?”
A feral grin creased Monica’s cheeks. “Why don’t you drive past his house on your way home and keep going. You never said you’d stop, right?”
She earned herself an eye roll and a bad Groucho Marx impression: “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Not as ridiculous as you avoiding a guy you might like.”
Dustin opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.
Monica threw up her hands and snorted. “Go, get reacquainted, find out what an asshole he is, then you’ll be begging him to go the fuck back home.”
Yeah, right.
Dustin fretted all afternoon, picking up his phone repeatedly to call Seth and make excuses for not visiting. No doubt about it, however; the closer six o’clock and quitting time came, the faster his heart beat.
With no rational excuse coming to mind, he ended up at Seth’s, only to find the man waiting, a cheerful smile on his face. “Want to take a walk again? I promise I won’t make any unwanted advances.”
Dustin struggled, torn between finding the promise comforting and disappointing. “Sure. Where do you have in mind?”
“The pond.”
The spring-fed swimming hole brought back memories.
“Hey, remember that box turtle we found over there by the overflow?” Dustin gestured toward the shallow end of the pond, where runoff flowed down the hill to join the creek.
Seth grinned. “I kept him in a box under the bed until Aunt Irene found him. I thought she’d make me get rid of him. Instead Daddy helped me build a pen.” Dustin had planned to keep the terrapin for himself, but seeing the excitement in Seth’s eyes had inspired him to hand it over. How he’d lived for the smile on his friend’s face. Seeing it now, on a grown-up Seth, brought back those feelings.
A groundhog peeked out from the grass, watching their passing. Dustin paused, studying the creature, but no lucid thoughts hid within the basic instinct to scratch an itch with a hind foot, avoid the two scary humans, and find dinner. In the meadow, birds chittered and sang. Except for Dustin and Seth, the surrounding tableau had remained relatively unchanged since their last visit here.
Seth sank onto the graded embankment. “I remember coming here when we were kids.” He plinked a rock across the water’s glassy surface, causing the reflection of nearby pine trees to ripple. “We used to strip down and hop in on a hot day.”
Dustin gave a nervous laugh, an image coming to mind of the two of them, stark naked, standing waist-deep in water.
“Remember the rope we used to hang from a tree over there?” Seth pointed to the far side of the pond and the towering oak whose branches nearly swept the surface. “Those were the days.” Seth lay back in a bed of clover, arms folded behind his head, staring up at the sky. “The more I stay here, the more I’m in danger of not wanting to leave.”
“Oh, really?” A niggling of hope squirmed to life in Dustin’s heart. While he wanted Seth here, wanted to rekindle the wonderful friendship of their youth, was it wise to wish him to stay?
“Yeah, really. Down here is where I lived with my mom and dad; it’s the only home I remember. My grandmother lived in an apartment, and we moved several times while I was growing up. But here? Here stayed the same. There’s something comforting about things that don’t change, isn’t there?”
You don’t know the half of it. Dustin was older than Seth by a couple of years, and, looking back now, he supposed he’d suspected he was gay even at a tender age. His feelings for Seth back then might actually have been his first crush. “When did you first realize you were gay?” he found himself asking.
“I dunno. I guess around thirteen or fourteen. Scared me at first. The boys at school kept talking about girls, but it wasn’t a girl who stayed on my mind.”
Dustin wanted to ask, “Who did?” but an eye-locking gaze from Seth kept him quiet. If the two of them hadn’t been ripped apart, would young love have grown? A barely audible growl escaped Dustin, aimed at Seth’s cold grandmother. He tried to lighten the mood. “I bet you had to beat the boys off with a two-by-four in high school.”
The light in Seth’s eyes dimmed and he turned away, studying the sky. “No. Not in high school. I was too scared of what my grandmother might say. How about you?”
While the South typically wasn’t the most accepting of places, Possum Kingdom defied the norm, except for a few holdouts who managed to make problems here and there. Regardless, Dustin hadn’t freely explored the sexual aspect of himself until he left for college. “I dated a bit in college, managed to snag myself a steady boyfriend or two, but never anyone I’d call a partner.”
“Me either. Came close once, but it’s probably better off we didn’t work out.” Seth kept his gaze turned away. Did he mean Michael, the guy from the social site? “Woulda been nice not to be alone.”
Dustin sidled over to the bank and dropped down beside Seth. The loneliness, the isolation, pulsed off the man. An irresistible force seemed to pull them together. Their lips met, a gentle play of tongue on tongue following. “I missed you,” Dustin said, propping up on one arm to stare down at Seth.
“I missed you too.”
Their eyes met and held. Fire danced between them. Dustin broke the silence. “Is there anyone waiting for you back in Chicago?”
“No.”
“Are you a ‘one-night stand only’ kind of guy?”
A lovely pink tinge suffused Seth’s face. “No. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. I can count my former lovers on one hand, and still have fingers left over.”
The gesture was barely perceptible, but Dustin inched a little bit closer. “Did you mean what you offered down by the creek? That if I wanted to lay you down right here, you’d let me?”
Seth recalled the foolish words he’d blurted. Why had he said anything so asinine? The truth came with all the impact of a brick to the face. He’d wanted Dustin from the moment he’d first laid eyes on the grownup version, but at the creek other things competed for his attention. Now, in their little bubble of calm, he felt safe voicing his wishes. “I’ve never meant anything more.”
Dustin pounced, pinning Seth to the ground. “Mmmmph?” Seth managed around the tongue in his mouth before getting with the program. Man! Willing! His brain shut down, his body taking over.
They shoved and clawed, pushed and pulled, until their clothing lay strewn around them on the ground. “Oh God, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted you,” Dustin whispered, blazing a trail between Seth’s ear and collarbone with his lips.
Muscles bunched beneath Seth’s questing fingers, and he grabbed wherever he found purchase, frantically bucking up, his achingly full cock sliding against Dustin’s answering hardness. No gentleness existed between them. They rutted together in frantic desperation, Seth barely noticing the occasional rock digging into his ass.
Sometimes he found himself on top, gazing down into lust-glazed eyes; at others, he looked up from beneath. They rolled and tumbled, panting hot breath into each other’s ears.
“Oh God!” Seth exclaimed, pressure building. He redoubled his effort, mind about to shatter to pieces. They groaned and moaned, occasionally cussing for good measure.
Dustin sheathed both their erections in a relentless grip, finding Seth’s mouth with his own and sliding their tongues together as frantically as their bodies. The tension built, Seth desperately bucking into Dustin’s grasp. He splintered and fragmented, white-hot carnal tidal wave sweeping over him. “Oh God, oh God, oh God….”
A look of intense concentration crossed Dustin’s face, and he pumped faster, muscles tensing. He closed his eyes, muttering, “Seth, Seth, Seth….”
Seth came to himself sprawled on top of Dustin, a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. “Well, damn!” he uttered, once he recovered the power of speech, too sated to even consider moving.
“Um… Seth?”
Seth trained unfocused eyes on the man who had just given him the orgasm of a lifetime. �
��Yeah.”
Dustin craned his neck to see over Seth’s shoulder. “We need to move.” He suddenly swatted at Seth’s backside.
“Hey, sometimes I like a little spanky, but during, not after.” Seth flinched as Dustin’s hand landed again, just as fast but more gently.
“I was too busy to do it earlier.” Dustin rolled Seth over and stood, extending a hand. “You can swat your own skeeters if you’d rather. Come home with me?”
Voice scarcely above a whisper, Seth replied, “I’d love to,” while allowing Dustin to haul him to his feet.
Dustin bent to retrieve their clothes, his lily-white ass adorned with tiny red mosquito bites.
Chapter 9
It didn’t surprise Seth that Dustin lived in the small but cozy log cabin he’d been raised in. Now, instead of climbing to the loft and Dustin’s old room, Dustin steered him toward the downstairs bedroom, formerly occupied by the senior Livingstons. The familiar scent of lemon oil that he’d always associated with the house lingered.
“Where are your mom and dad now?”
“Dad died three years ago. Mom retired to Florida to be with her sister.”
“I’m sorry.” Hell, not only had he neglected to be here for Aunt Irene, he’d not been here for Dusty either. Or Dusty’s mom. A smiling face came to mind. The Livingstons were in their late forties before Dustin came along, much older than Seth’s parents, but they were good people, welcomed him into their home.
“Don’t be. To his dying day, Dad claimed he was the luckiest son of a bitch to ever live. He loved life and didn’t fear dying—made it easier on those left behind. I only hope I can be half the man he was.”
Seth felt confident, even in the short time they’d shared since his return, that Dustin had left the halfway point a few miles back.
Given Dustin’s confident self-assurance, Seth expected something a bit sexier in the way of interior design. Instead, they entered a study in minimalism, with plain log walls and a hardwood floor. A wrought iron bed sat beneath the room’s lone window—left open to admit a rose-scented breeze. A worn patchwork quilt similar to the ones Aunt Irene used to sew covered the old double bed. The only nod to creature comforts was the pile of pillows. Two wore matching cases; the other three were covered in plain white cotton. Five pillows? The guy slept with five pillows?