She takes her hair out of the now incredibly messy, though totally fucking sexy, ponytail, and reties it. “I can’t do a relationship now, or ever. This is the best I can offer you. Sex, lots and lots of it. I’m happy to experiment with nearly everything. Fuck, if you want a threesome with another woman, I’m happy to go down on her while you watch, I’m all for fun, but relationships…” Tabitha clicks her tongue to the roof of her mouth. “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
This is every man’s wet dream. A no-strings attached relationship with a fuck-hot, eager partner. But I want more, and I want it from Tabitha. “As much as I would love to see you going down on another woman, I… I…” I look down at my hands before finding the courage to say, “I’m developing feelings for you, and I want to see where this goes. We have this amazing sexual chemistry, and we work when we’re together. Please, just give this a chance.”
She walks over to me, and grabs my hair in her hands. Tabitha smiles as she traces the outline of the tattoo on my right shoulder that goes half-way down my arm. I stand, and lean in to kiss her. She turns her head while taking a step backward. I haven’t once kissed her, and it’s killing me.
“This is all I can offer.” She takes several steps away.
I reach out, and wrap my hand on her upper arm. “Why?”
“Because this is all I can do.” She looks down at where my hand has secured her so she can’t run.
“Why?” I push again. “I want more, and I know we can work.”
“Let me go,” she says with a tinge of irritation to her voice. She steps back when I release her arm. “I can’t,” she simply replies.
“It’s all or nothing, Tabitha. I want to be able to kiss you, and fuck you whenever I want. But I want us to go out on dates, to the movies, to restaurants. I want everyone to know you’re mine and I’m yours. I want us to try.”
Her eyes redden, and her chin trembles. I know what she’s going to say, and I don’t want to hear it. “I’m sorry then. It will have to be nothing.” She lowers her head, and steps toward the door.
“Just tell me why? What has you so scared that you’re refusing to let yourself open up to me?”
She shakes her head and turns so she’s at the door. “Because nothing good will come from a relationship.” Without even another word, she walks out.
What? What does she mean?
I fall back on the bed absolutely devastated.
Why? Is it because I’m just a plumber? Am I not good enough for her? Has she been hurt so badly in the past that she just refuses to trust anyone? What the fuck is it?
Tabitha
Past
I drive home from school, eager to get into the kitchen to help Dorothy. She told me that today she’s going to show me how to make choux pastry. I’m so excited. I’ve been learning from her for the last two years, and I’m getting pretty good with flavor profiles, and experimenting. I love cooking, I can’t wait ’til I get home.
The driveway is the worst part, because it’s so long and I know home is only a minute away. I park the Audi Dad bought me when I got my permit, turn it off, and nearly run inside.
Cooking with Dorothy is the highlight of my day. No matter what’s happening at school, or at home, I love learning from her. She’s taught me so much, and because I love it, I’m considering going to culinary school.
I haven’t talked to my parents yet, not that I think Mom will care, but I’m fairly certain Dad will.
I open the door, and run up the stairs, taking two at a time. I need to tie my hair back, and get changed out of this stupid preppy uniform. Once changed, I head back downstairs. Shit, I should say hi to my parents first. I go to Dad’s office, and he’s hunched over one of his massive books, reading something pertaining to his work. “Hey, Dad,” I call as I rush out.
“Hey, Tabitha, come back.”
Damn it, I wanted to start cooking as soon as I got home. Dorothy has been someone I can count on, and look forward to spending time with. She’s here every single day after school, and has a world of knowledge when it comes to food. I walk back into his office. “Hey.” I lean against the door, ready to run to the kitchen the moment he stops talking.
“Oh my God, come in and sit down. I’m not going to bite.” He chuckles.
If I spend five minutes in here with Dad, I’ll still have time to make the choux pastry. At school I was watching tutorials on how to make them, so I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on it. Dorothy always says how I’m a natural in the kitchen. She makes me so proud of myself.
I enter Dad’s office, and sit. “What is it, Dad?” I ask, impatient to get to the point so I can go cook.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Dorothy, and cooking.”
“I love it!” I say with so much enthusiasm.
“I know, and you’re getting really good, too.” I smile like an idiot. “I’m really proud of you, sweetheart.”
I sit up straighter, and puff my chest out. “Thanks, Dad.” I’ve got the biggest grin ever.
“You’re nearly finished with school, and I was thinking I can send you to any culinary school you want. If you want to go.”
My smile fades, and my heart leaps with joy. “What?” I ask. “Do you mean it?”
“Of course. We’ll talk about it over dinner tonight, see what your mother has to say.”
I spring up out of the chair, and run over to Dad, throwing my arms around him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I give him a kiss on the cheek; I’m super happy that he’s proud of me, and he wants to help me in a career with food. “I’m learning choux pastry, so I have to go.”
Dad flicks his hand at me. “Go, have fun making your pastry.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I run out of his office, and head toward the kitchen, but find Mom in her usual resting place of the sun room toward the back of the house. “Hey,” I call as I rush past her.
“Where are you going?”
I roll my eyes, unable to help the frustration I feel toward her. “To the kitchen.”
I try to get away, but she calls me back, “Come here.”
I stop mid step, and return to where Mom is. She picks her cocktail glass up, and sips it. “What are you doing?”
“Dorothy is going to teach me how to make choux pastry, so I’m heading to the kitchen.”
She sips her drink as I back away. “You won’t find her in there.”
“Oh, where is she? Did she go to the store? She could’ve waited for me.” We’ve gone to the store together often.
“Oh no, Tabitha, she’s not here.” She sips on her cocktail again.
I wait for Mom to continue, but she doesn’t. She’s painfully quiet, not elaborating on where Dorothy is. “Mom?”
“Hmm.” Mom looks at me from above her cocktail glass.
“Where’s Dorothy.”
“Oh, she’s gone.”
“When’s she coming back.”
“She’s not,” she says in a flat, careless tone.
My heart sinks, and my stomach contracts. “Wh… what do you mean? Where’s she gone? Why isn’t she coming back?” I stumble backward, trying to find something to steady myself on.
“Oh, I don’t know. She was here, then she wasn’t. She said she was giving her notice, or something, I really don’t know, darling, nor do I care. Good riddance if you ask me. She was making you look like the help. And we’re far too rich to have people think we’re the help.”
“Since when have you become so up yourself, Mom? Who cares what other people think of us?”
Mom places her glass down, stands and walks over to me. She lifts a finger and thrusts it into my shoulder. “My friends have been asking if I need money to get through because my daughter is learning how to cook.”
“I don’t care what those cows are saying to you. I like cooking, Mom.”
She screws her face up, and steps away. “Darling, we’re way too rich for you to do menial work like cooking.” She holds her head up, and plasters a fake
smile on her botoxed face. It’s amazing she can still use her facial muscles at all. “We have to uphold the Van Reyes name, and as Van Reyes, we don’t do things like cooking and cleaning. That’s why we have a staff of twenty people. We have people to tend to the gardens, and people who clean, and don’t forget we have a cook. Well, had one. But she up and left, so I’ll have to replace her. What an inconvenience.” She rolls her eyes, making me feel like I’m the cause of Dorothy leaving.
“Mom, did she say why she left? Actually, don’t worry, I’ll call her.” I reach into my pocket to take my phone out.
“We gave her the phone because we needed to be able to get in touch with her whenever we needed. She left it behind. I think it’s on the counter in the kitchen. Which reminds me, the phone is useless now that it’s been used, I must throw it in the trash.” She walks over and sits again, sipping what I expect is her umpteenth cocktail for the day.
Lifting my hands, I rub at my temples. There’s a tight clenching in my stomach and I’m overrun with a heaviness of dread. Why did she leave? What happened? “What am I going to do?” I ask in a small voice. Dorothy believed in me, and now she’s gone. Just like that, without even a phone call, or a letter. Nothing.
“Sorry, what did you say?” Mom half-heartedly asks as she scrolls through her phone.
I press my lips together, trying to hold in the hurt. I’m about to break because the one good thing in my life, is now gone. “Why would she leave, Mom?” Mom keeps scrolling through her phone, not listening to me. “Mom?”
She lifts her phone to her ear, and holds a finger up to me. “Hello, Darling. Drinks, at the Metro in an hour?” Mom looks at me questioningly. “Hang on, my love.” She lowers the phone and says, “What do you want, Tabitha?”
I can feel my chin quivering, and my eyes stinging from the threatening tears. I swallow the hard lump in my throat. “Nothing.” I turn to walk away.
Mom resumes her conversation. “Yes, drinks at the Metro?” There’s a few seconds of silence, then she says something that tears my heart into two destroyed pieces, “Oh I know. I didn’t even want a child, but I had to give her father an heir. God, she’s annoying. She wants to be part of the help, can you imagine?” Mom laughs evilly into the phone.
I walk back into the room, tears spilling over and clinging to my cheeks. “You didn’t want me?” I whisper as I try to contain the sob.
Mom looks at me, lowers the phone and gives me one of her phony smiles. “I had to give your father an heir, and you’re what we got. Now, go away. Go do something.”
What? She doesn’t want me? And never has?
I run up to my room, pack a bag, and leave the house.
I take off down the long driveway with a broken heart, and tears that just won’t stop flowing. Dorothy is gone now and she’s taken everything good about my life. I dial Aunt May’s phone number.
“Yes!” Aunt May barks into the phone.
“Aunt May?” I say between the painful sobs.
“Oh, dear child. Are you okay?” she asks.
“Can… can… can I please stay with you for a little while?” I ask between cries.
“Absolutely.”
“Okay. Thank you. I don’t know when I’ll be there, but it’ll be sometime tomorrow. I’m driving through the night to get there.” There’s a long silence. Please Aunt May, don’t you abandon me too. “Aunt May?”
“You can come here, on the condition that you stop and sleep through the night. I’ll also be calling you every hour to make sure you’re okay.”
I smile, knowing Aunt May loves me. At least I know she’ll never abandon me. I hope. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Drive safe. And I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I head toward Hope River. I’ve always liked it there. Who knows? Maybe I’ll move there one day.
Charlie
I sit back, and look at my phone. “You keep looking at that phone and I’ll take it away from you,” Jake says as he nurses his first drink of the night. I turn my phone over so I’m not distracted by it.
“Who are you waiting for?” River asks as he finishes his drink.
“No one,” I reply. I throw back my drink, and stand. “Another?” I ask River and Jake.
“I’m driving, so only one for me.” Jake places his hand over his glass.
“Hell yeah, if you’re buying. I’ll have a double,” River calls as I walk over to the bar. While I wait for the bartender, I can’t help but think it’s been three days since I’ve spoken with Tabitha. We crossed paths as we were both leaving for work yesterday, but neither of us said anything, or even looked up to make eye contact.
“Same?” Johnny the bartender asks.
“A double bourbon for River, Jake’s not having anything else, and a double scotch for myself.”
Johnny prepares the drinks, and I look around the bar noticing it’s fairly quiet, with only a handful of tables occupied and a couple of women playing pool. Johnny places the drinks on the bar, then takes the twenty I thrust toward him. He comes back in less than a minute to give me the change. “Can you start a tab for me.”
“Sure thing.”
I take the two drinks over to the table, to find Jake and River laughing at something. I give River his drink, and lift mine to my lips. My phone vibrates, and I lower my drink to see who’s messaging me. God, I want it to be Tabitha. It’s Hope reminding me I have to work in the morning. I place the phone face down, and grab my drink again.
“Okay, what’s going on?” River asks.
“What?” I look over to him, and see he’s talking to me. “What?’ I say again and scrunch my brows.
“Is it Tabitha? Did you two have a fight?”
What? “There’s no ‘you two.’ There’s nothing going on.”
“Really? Then why did Hope tell me she, Elle, and May caught you two coming out of the bathroom adjusting your clothing?” River asks.
“Yeah, Elle said the same thing,” Jake adds. “But hey, not my business what you two do.”
“We’re not doing anything.” I shrug while I nurse my drink. My hand stalls for a moment as my mind takes over with every thought consumed by Tabitha.
“I’ve been in Hope River for a long time. In all the years Tabitha has been coming here, she’s always been the same. She’s polite, and is always happy to help with whatever is needed, but she’s closed off,” River says. “She’s so closed off, that sometimes I don’t even realize she’s back at May’s or even that she’s left.” River downs the rest of his drink.
“Another?” I ask as I stand.
“Nope, just a soda for me now. I’ve hit my limit.”
I look at Jake, then River. “I’m drinking alone?”
“Seems that way, my friend. Hope would have my balls if I came home drunk. Not like she already doesn’t. I mean, I’m sure she carries them around on her tool belt. That fucking girl owns my ass,” he says with a sigh.
“Ugh. That’s my sister you’re talking about.”
“Hey, all I’m saying is I’m so far gone, there’s no turning back for me.” Jake laughs and shakes his head. “What are you snickering at, Elle’s got you by the short and curlies too,” River says with a head flick toward Jake.
“As if you’re enlightening me about something I don’t already know. She’s a handful.” Jake smirks. “And I fucking love it.” He looks over to me. “So, what about you and Tabitha? Does she carry your balls around with her chef knife?”
“How do you think she got them?” River says and laughs.
I can’t help but laugh too. “I should be thankful that she wants casual, right? But I’ve had my fair share of pussy, and I don’t want just that from her.” I roughly exhale. “I’m twenty-seven and should be out having the time of my life.”
“Just remember, keep it wrapped, and just to be sure, wrap it twice,” River says.
“Here’s the thing, I don’t want to be out getting it from a
nyone else but her.”
“Uh-oh.” Jake scrunches a small paper napkin, and throws it at my head. “Our boy here is in love.”
“Bleh,” River emulates a vomiting sound.
“I’m not in love,” I add defensively.
“Yeah, sure. You know there are a few strip clubs on the other side of Mulberry Point, right? We can go right now,” Jake says as he stands.
“Elle would perform voodoo on your dick if she ever found out you went to a strip club without clearing it with her first,” I say.
“I think if I told Hope I was going to a strip club she’d be pissed off because she’s not invited!” River says.
I rub at my temples. “Mental picture, River. She’s my sister.” I can’t help but laugh though. “But you’re so right. Hope’s always been a, anything you can do, I can do better kinda girl.”
“That’s why she’s a hell of a house flipper,” River says with pride and conviction. There’s no doubt he adores Hope.
I drink the last of my scotch, get up, and head over to the bar. I order another double and wait for Johnny to bring it over before I go back to sit with the guys. “You know Tabitha better than I do,” I start saying to the boys. “What do I do?” I can’t believe I’m asking for advice. I’ve never been this open about anything in my entire life. I don’t roll like this, not even when I was with Rae all those years ago.
“The only thing I can say to you is if you like her, don’t give up on her. You have no idea what she’s dealing with.” River holds his hand up, because that sentence has me questioning her past. “And no, I don’t know much about her, except what I’ve already said.”
“Just be gentle with her, Charlie,” Jake says.
“Do you know something I should know?” I ask.
“In the past seven or eight years I’ve lived in Hope River, she’s never been here long enough to develop any meaningful relationships with anyone. Mind you, when I first arrived in Hope River she was only like fifteen or something. She’s definitely grown up to become a beautiful woman.”
“That, she is.” I point to Jake. A beautiful woman who’s causing me so much stress. “I should forget her. Just wipe her from my memory.”
Healing Hearts: A friends with benefits, small town romance (Hope River Book 3) Page 5